Time to Try Again
by DCFanatic4life
Summary: Chris tried once, and now? Now it's time for him to try again...Sequel to At Least He Tried
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or real people portrayed in this story. The characters belong to WWE and the real people own themselves. **

A/N: Okay, here's the sequel as promised. It picks up the next day after At Least He Tried. I could've just tacked this on to At Least He Tried, but I felt like that story was over, and this one has a different plot altogether, so yeah, different stories.

Please leave a review and tell me what you think. :)

---------

He hadn't really tried.

Chris had never lied to Stephanie, not once in their entire friendship. He prided himself on that. In their long tenure together, he had not once told her a lie. Not if she looked bad, not if she had spinach in her teeth, not if she was making a fool out of herself in front of people, he never lied to her. He knew she wouldn't respect him if she ever found out he had lied to her. Stephanie was special like that; she could handle the truth, and always wanted to hear it.

Yesterday, Chris had lied to Stephanie…for the very first time.

He woke up next to her, the plate of cake they had been eating sitting between them, nothing but the few stray crumbs decorating it, the cake having met its demise hours earlier. They had finished up their sugar high and crashed down back to Earth and into their beds. And this morning, the morning he should've woken up next to Trish, his new wife, instead, he was waking up to the face that he had always woken up to…Stephanie's.

And that was just what he wanted.

He loved Stephanie. When he had realized it, he couldn't pinpoint, and made no attempt to. He just knew it to be true. He hadn't kissed Stephanie just to get out of his impending marriage, he had kissed her for a bigger reason, a more extravagant, worst romantic comedy kind of reason. He loved her. Maybe it was the combination of all their years, or maybe Trish had been right when she said that a girl and a guy couldn't be friends and that was it, that there would always be this underlying sexual tension.

Or maybe his brain was just starting to hear what his heart had been saying for years. No, he hadn't loved Stephanie for years, not like now, not when his heart felt like it was going to burst if he wasn't near her. But he had loved her like a friend. She was his best friend, and so he had lied because maybe she didn't want to be more than friends. How would he even proceed? Could he just ask her out? He had no idea.

"If I wake up and have cake smeared all over my face, you'd tell me wouldn't you?" Stephanie mumbled, turning to face Chris, though her eyes were still closed.

"Yeah, I would tell you," Chris said. "I mean, I wouldn't want you to go through the embarrassment of going down to breakfast looking like you fell face first into a pile of dog crap."

"Oh this is just the lovely morning conversation I've been dreaming of…waking up to think about dog crap. You are quite the romantic there Snooks."

"I have to talk to Trish today."

"You have to do a lot of things today, it makes it the same as any other day, you just have bigger things to do. It's like building blocks or something, you build them and build them, bigger and bigger and then you knock them down."

"That makes no sense at all."

"I'm not paid to make sense!" Stephanie said, sitting up, one side of her hair flaring up. "God, what the hell time is it?"

"Ten."

"Yuck," she said, falling back down against her pillow. "What a crappy night."

"I'm sorry a night with me is crappy Stephers."

"No, it's not, but I think I rolled over onto that plate like fifteen times, I'm going to have a slipped plate or something. Get it plate, and I rolled over onto the plate," she said, laughing to herself. "I need coffee."

"You want me to go downstairs and get you some."

"What if you run into Trish?"

"I didn't think of that," he answered, mulling over the probability of actually running into his now ex-bride-to-be.

"See, what would you do without me? You would run into her, and then she'd yell and you'd yell and nothing would get solved, and then you'd do something stupid like run to Vegas and marry her, and then everyone would be like, 'Why did they do that when they had a perfectly good wedding set-up?' and then everyone will think you're crazy, and it'll all just go to hell," Stephanie mumbled, burying her face into her pillow.

"I don't think I'd marry her."

Not when he was in love with the woman lying haphazardly on the bed in front of him, her pajama pants hanging off one of her hips, showing off her cute pink panties with the words, "No peeking" printed all over them. Her hair was splayed across the pillow and down her back against the black tank top that just seemed to hug her. Stephanie turned on her side and squinted up at him.

"Are you the coffee fairy come to give me coffee so I may function normally?"

"I'll go get you coffee," he chuckled.

"You're my hero," she said, in the exact same voice that Ferris Bueller's friend, Cameron, had used on him.

"I better be, risking my life like this, might run into Trish."

"If you do, tell her I thought she looked pretty yesterday. She may not appreciate it, but I don't think I got to tell her. Too bad she can't use that dress again. Do you think there's anywhere else appropriate enough for a wedding dress?"

"I don't think so. I think that it's one of those one-time kind of things. I mean, when are you going to where it, to your kid's graduation or something?"

"That would be something," she said. "When I get married, remember to tell me that I want a simple dress. And a simple wedding, very simple. Like ten people kind of simple. Like you, I just want you there."

"What?"

"You can be my witness. I just want a small one…coffee please."

"Why don't you get dressed and we'll find some café nearby and go to breakfast," Chris told her. "We can feel like we're transported back into the 70's and have Alice serve us and then get told to kiss grits."

"Tempting," she told him, burying her face into her pillow. "Dress me and we can go. And nothing too raunchy, and nothing revealing, and nothing that you own. Do you think that you can handle that?"

"I'm not going to dress you Stephers, last time I dressed you, you got so mad at me and acted like I had done you a great injustice," Chris told her. He also didn't trust himself to touch her right now. He had touched her plenty of times before, but somehow, knowing what he knew, it was going to be different, and he wasn't sure either one of them were ready for different.

"You put me in hideous clothes I didn't even want to wear," she told him, her voice muffled from the pillow. "So do you want me to go out with you in the vain attempt to avoid the blonde bombshell? Are we going to have to sneak through the lobby, hide behind plants and go incognito like we're special agent spies?"

"Yeah, I've got our wigs and fake mustaches right in my suitcase. Do you want to be the blonde or the redhead?"

"Well, if you put on a blonde wig, wouldn't that not make sense since you are blond? Unless you're going for the, 'It's so obvious that it's him, it can't be him' vibe, in which case, I'll be the redhead."

"I just don't think I'm quite ready to talk to her right now," Chris sighed and this time, Stephanie turned away from her pillow. She grabbed his hand and pulled him down so that he was facing her.

He took her in without explicitly doing so. She was so beautiful, lying there with her hair around her face and a lazy, sleep smile on her face. He wanted to spend every morning like this. He wanted to spend naked mornings like this, but yeah, that would probably have to come later, after he asked her out. He didn't think Stephanie was one for casual sex, unless she was one for casual sex. But that might be grossly inappropriate to ask someone you weren't dating…or you know…anyone.

"Something's bothering you," she said quite plainly. "You're holding something back."

"I am?" he asked, surprised she could tell.

"I'm your best friend, we know these things," Stephanie said. "You can say it's like a seventh sense. See, the sixth sense was ruined by the movie, and since like everyone's favorite number on the planet is seven, then the seventh sense makes sense, hey, I made a funny."

He laughed softly and brushed some hair out of her face in an unconscious move. She thought nothing of it since he had done that many times before. "It's nothing, I'm just a little bit nervous about the talk I'm eventually going to have with Trish. See, the universe is conspiring against me. Apparently I offended its mother and we had a falling out. I tried sending chocolates over there, and nothing. So I think it's exacting its revenge."

"I told you never to cross the universe, he plays dirty," Stephanie said soberly.

"I know as soon as we go downstairs, she's going to be there, and I didn't exactly conduct myself properly yesterday."

"Yeah, I'd say skipping out on your wedding, then hiding for the rest of the day in my hotel room, and then taking the wedding cake to eat wouldn't put you on her favorite people list, unless she paid for the cake and really didn't want that money to go to waste, because it didn't, I quite enjoyed the cake, it was really good, she did a good job picking it."

"I mean, she was in her dress, you said she was in her dress," Chris said, frowning.

"Yeah, she was in her dress," Stephanie said. "Everyone was ready, and we were just kind of waiting on you. And then you didn't show up and--"

"Everyone ganged up on you," he said bitterly. "Like you would just know where I was or something."

"I did know where you were," Stephanie said.

"But I didn't tell you where I was, you just knew because you know me, but you didn't know where I had gone, you expected a wedding."

"Is that why you didn't want me there the night before?" she asked him. "Is that why you wanted to be alone?"

"I needed to think about things," he replied, and it was true. It hit him on that night. When he had been thinking and contemplating and preparing for his wedding, the truth had hit him like a banana cream pie in the face. It was there and it had always been there, well, not always, it had been there for a while. Chris needed that time, if Stephanie had been there, maybe he never would've realized and he'd be on his honeymoon, and completely miserable.

"Or you needed to tie all the bedspreads together so you could climb out of the window," she told him.

"Yeah, I even needed to use my underwear, I was pretty high up," Chris said. "Trish is going to hate me. She's probably going to develop super powers and shoot flames from her wrists at me, and it's going to burn me to a crisp."

"Well, at least you'll save on the cremation bill," she shrugged. "I think she's just going to cry a lot, I'd bring a raincoat when you talk to her, maybe some galoshes, definitely an umbrella. Not that I'm denigrating what happened to her, or that I'm not sympathetic, I _am_ sympathetic, but Mom, Dad, and I, we just…we kind of didn't see it."

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"Then you'd be shooting flames out at me, and I'd ruin our friendship and you'd never talk me, and then years later, we'd be reunited on like The Montel Williams Show, and everything would just go to hell in a hand-basket. Now _there's _a weird saying," she giggled to herself. "Hell in a hand-basket…the things people come up with…"

"I love how nobody tells me things that could affect my future."

"We thought you were happy," she shrugged carelessly. "Let me go get dressed and we'll head down to breakfast."

"Yeah, okay," he said as she got up and he watched her walk away. He had a lot of things to do today. Cut off ties with Trish being the number one priority. He needed to be free to pursue the woman he loved, the woman who had just danced her way into the bathroom.

It was time to try again…

And this time, he was getting his woman.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yay! Now you all know why I had you so frustrated in At Least He Tried, hee. I have had that last chapter written for so long and it was just a matter of getting there and I know you were all so upset when they didn't get together in that one, but this has been the plan all along, so now you have a good reason. I told you that it all was a means to an end, aren't you glad you listened? ;)

Anyways, thanks for the reviews, and I hope you continue to review and enjoy. :)

---------------------------------------------

Chris took a deep breath as he stepped out of the room. It was like he was entering a dangerous mission and he didn't know if he was going to get alive. He was a spy and he had to make it to breakfast without getting caught by the enemy. The enemy being Trish. It was funny, when he thought about it, really thought about it. He was supposed to be getting ready for his honeymoon right now. He should've been laughing and talking about how they weren't going to see anything but their bedroom walls and they should pack nothing because they'd be naked the whole time anyways. All that good, newlywed stuff. He should be having a difficult time keeping his hands off of Trish, but instead, he was avoiding her like she was a bad Saturday morning cartoon that he didn't want to get sucked into needlessly.

"Are you going to stand in the doorway all day?" Stephanie asked as she stood a few steps ahead him. "Because while I think it's a good way to stay safe in case there's an earthquake, I'm going to guess that you'd get pretty tired standing there. And I'm not going to bring you any food."

"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm just dreading the outside world. It's like I'm Rip Van Winkle and I've just woken up from my very long nap and the world is a strange, kooky place, and I need to reacquaint myself," he said, then jumped as they reached the elevator. "Oh my God, what's this contraption?"

"It's called the go-up, go-down box," she explained. "It runs on magic!"

"Wow, I have so much to catch up on," Chris said as they stepped onto the elevator. "I can't avoid her forever you know, Stephers? I'm going to have to explain myself and why I did what I did."

"We both know you have to do that, but you have an explanation, and you can't just pretend. Pretending in a marriage isn't good, unless you're five and you're playing house and you have one of those really cool kitchen set-ups with the fake food, those were so much fun. Oh, and an easy-bake oven with cookies!"

"I could go for some cookies right now, with milk, that always cheers me up. I think I need cheering up."

"Think of how the blonde bombshell feels. I bet you that you she's in her wedding dress right now, her makeup running…oh my God, she's going to be Miss Haversham from Great Expectations and she's going to have some really old cake…oh wait, we ate the cake. Okay, so she's not going to be Miss Haversham."

"You're not really helping the cause here Stephers, you're supposed to make me feel better."

"But if you feel worse than you can't possibly go any lower when you see the blonde bombshell. Don't you see Snooks, I'm doing this for your own good. I'm making you tough like Mike Tyson…or Teflon," she told him, patting him on the back.

Her touch was a bit unnerving now that he had realized the truth. He and Stephanie had always been touchy-feely, but for him, the implications of her touching had changed. Whenever she touched him, he felt it and he couldn't figure out why he hadn't felt it before. He had been blind to it and he couldn't quite understand how that had happened when the feeling was so strong in him right now. He nearly jumped when her hand went under this t-shirt and rubbed his back.

"What are you doing?"

"What? Are my hands cold? Am I like a doctor, do you want me to blow on my hands to make them warm, or stick them in boiling water? I'm trying to calm you down, you're so tense, don't freak out on me."

"I wasn't freaking out," he mumbled. "You just startled me."

"Wow, you spook easily. Remind me not to get you on Halloween, I wouldn't want to literally scare you to death. That wouldn't be good, and I don't know if that would count as murder and I'm not too keen on going to jail."

"Did you just say 'keen'?" he asked, looking over at her. She nodded and shrugged in confusion. "Who the hell says that anymore? Are we suddenly in the 1950's?"

"If we were in the 1950's, you'd be married right now because marriage back then was completely a binding contract. And then you'd stay married because of the kids, and you'd be unhappy until you eventually just keel over in your rocking chair."

"You're painting such a lovely picture," Chris said as the door opened. "Don't make me go out there."

"She's not going to be out there. The odds of that happening are really slim, at least I think so. Maybe they're not, I'm not good with the whole probability and ratio thing…or I am and I just don't know it," she said, confusing herself.

"And if she is there?"

"Then I give you permission to tar and feather me. And you can use the good kind of feathers, not the really bad ones that are always coming out of pillows during pillow fights, but the good quality feathers."

"Fine, I'm going out there," he said, but his feet made no attempt to move. Stephanie finally just pushed him out of the elevator and he stumbled into the lobby with a big whoosh of air being thrown from his body. Stephanie followed a moment later. "Geez, you're so rough with me woman."

"I only did that because you're bigger than me and I'm a little girl."

"Yeah, you are, but still, pushing is not good, didn't you learn that somewhere in your schooling?"

"I'm a rebel," she winked as she linked arms with him. "We're entering enemy territory, keep your sensors up."

Chris smiled. He had been thinking that earlier, and it just went to show how he and Stephanie were always on the same wavelength. It was a comfort to him after the events of the day before and the weeks before that. To know that someone was always there who understood him and didn't judge him was just such a great relief and it helped ease his nerves.

Which all happened to come back a second later when he saw Trish in the check-out line. He tensed and Stephanie felt that and looked up at him curiously. She didn't know why until she followed his line of vision and saw Trish in line, waiting to check out. She bit her lip and rubbed Chris's arm to let her know that she was there for him. He gulped audibly as he stood there and stared.

"Remember what I said, good quality feathers," she whispered.

"I have to talk to her, I have to do this or nothing ever gets resolved."

"That's the spirit," Stephanie said, giving a mini-fist pump. "You go out there and you show them who's boss. You take that ball and you drive it down the field and you don't stop until you're in that end zone doing the funky chicken."

"Wrong pep talk Stephers."

"Sorry, I was watching _Rudy_ the other day," she explained. Then she cleared her throat and started. "You are going to go over there and you are going to show her who's the best. You're going to do what you gotta do and do it well. You are not going to bow down and act like a coward because you're not a coward. A coward is someone dressed as a lion who lives in Oz…and I don't mean the prison."

"Yeah, I'm going over."

"Good luck," she whispered to him. "I'll be right here if you need me, just holler or scream, or use sign language, semaphore, smoke signals, anything."

Chris was already starting over there. He had to get this over with so that he could go on with his own life. He wanted Stephanie and there was nothing he could do about that. The heart wanted what the heart wanted. He certainly wished that he had figured this all out sooner, way sooner. Soon enough that he had never proposed to Trish, even though now that he looked back at that proposal, it hadn't really been planned out much…or at all.

He was close to her now, a few feet, within talking distance. She wasn't alone either, her parents were next to her and her sister was on the other side of her, her arm wrapped around Trish tightly. Chris cleared his throat, but they didn't hear him. He glanced back at Stephanie who gave him an encouraging smile and with her courage, he turned around and cleared his throat louder. This time, Trish, and her entourage, turned around.

"Um…hey Trish," Chris said, and it was the most serious she had ever heard him.

"I suggest you leave," her sister said coldly, "haven't you embarrassed her enough?"

"I'm not here to embarrass you Trish," Chris told her, keeping his eyes trained on Trish and Trish alone. This was their dispute to settle and nobody else's. "I just wanted to talk to you, to sort things out."

Trish walked over to him, and for a moment, he had no idea what she was going to do. But that was just stupid of him not to know. She reared her hand back and before he could adequately flinch, she slapped the hell out of him, leaving his cheek burning from her sting. He closed his eyes and nodded as he turned his head back to her, cupping his cheek a little bit.

"I deserved that," he said calmly. "Actually, I think I deserve about a hundred more, if you want to go for them all right now, I've got the time, I was going to go get breakfast, but if you want me to stand here so you can slap me, go right ahead."

"What's there to sort out Chris?" Trish said, her voice raspy from the tears she had shed and the sobs she had endured.

"I think there's a lot to sort out actually. I'm just asking for ten minutes, ten minutes and then you don't ever have to see me again, I swear…well, you're going to see me at work, but we won't have to work together, Stephanie can make sure of that, she does have some power, but please…"

Trish looked to her family and sighed, "Fine, we do need to talk, I guess."

"Thank you, we can go in one of the meeting rooms," he said with a shrug. She shrugged back and followed him to an empty conference room. Chris didn't care if they were allowed in here, he just needed to talk to her and get this over with. She sat down and he sat down near her, but not too near her. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"You humiliated me," she said, and there was no anger in her voice, just sadness and that cut even deeper.

"Yes, I did humiliate you and I own up to that, I plan on writing a public apology and giving it to every single guest that came in yesterday. I'll even send them baskets of mini-muffins or something. I will take full responsibility of everything that happened. It was not your fault at all."

"How can you say it wasn't my fault!" Trish yelled, "obviously it was my fault, obviously part of it was definitely my fault because if it hadn't been my fault then you never would've left me at the altar. Do you know how humiliating it is Chris? Do you know how it feels when the person you love, the person you had planned to marry leaves you there? You have all your friends and family around there, waiting and wondering what's going on and you're standing there, alone, and you're wondering the same thing. I have never suffered through something so completely humiliating before in my life. I don't know what I did, help me know what I did."

"You didn't do anything," Chris said. "And it's not some line that I'm using in order to appease you, or try to make it seem like you're some kind of saint. It's the truth. It's the honest to God truth. This was all me, I haven't been ready to marry you for months…"

"And you waited until the day of our wedding to do something about it!" she shouted. She stood up and started pacing. "You had months Jericho, months and months to tell me that you weren't ready to marry me. We could've postponed the wedding, there was no problem with that!"

Chris cleared his throat, "I didn't want to postpone the wedding…I, uh, didn't want a wedding…"

Trish stopped in her tracks and looked to him. "You wanted to break up with me."

"You were so happy and I'm not the kind of guy who likes to make people unhappy."

"I'm a little unhappy now," she said sarcastically. "It's her isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked, though he knew exactly what she was insinuating. But like hell he'd let her know what was going on inside his brain. The only person who deserved to hear the news that he loved Stephanie was Stephanie herself. He wasn't going to tell Trish who would probably go after Stephanie and do something to her, like attack her or something. Now, normally Stephanie could take care of herself and take any guy or girl down, but Trish would be on a rampage.

"Stephanie, this is about Stephanie isn't it? You just can't let go of her. You can't commit because of her. I know she's your best friend Chris, and I accepted that, I know you have a bond."

Okay, so Chris had been wrong a moment before. Trish honestly believed in his good intentions towards Stephanie. Well, he had believed in his good intentions towards Stephanie until he had come to realize that he was completely in love with her. He almost started to smile when he remembered who he was with.

"Yeah, we have a bond."

"I would've accepted it!"

"It's not about Stephanie," Chris whispered, though he knew it was a lie.

"Then what is it?"

"Trish, it happened, and I'm sorry, but I can't explain to you why it happened, I'm sorry for that too. I will do everything in my power to look like the bad guy. I'll even don a skeleton mask, or a dark outfits, maybe develop some evil powers, but you will not come out of this looking like it was your fault."

"Too goddamn late Chris, I never want to speak to you again. I don't want you to look at me again. You embarrassed me in front of my entire family and all of my friends. If you wanted to make me look like a complete fool, you succeeded, I hope you had your fun you immature jackass."

Trish turned and walked out of the room and back to her family, and she was fuming. Stephanie saw that from her perch in the lobby and went back into the room that Trish had just left. Chris was sitting with his head in his hands, looking down at the floor. When he heard the door open, he was startled and thought Trish was back for round two. She had been subdued in her yelling at him and he knew that it was just the first of many fights they might have. She wasn't over the pain, it was too raw, but once the anger really set in, then he'd be in for it.

When he saw that it was Stephanie, a smile of relief came over his face. He really did love her. She was beautiful and everything that he knew he wanted. He should've known, he should've known for years, and he hated thinking about the lost time that he had with her. Well, no, it wasn't lost time; time with Stephanie could never be considered lost. Every moment with her was a new adventure, and that wasn't an exaggeration. When you end up in Alaska on a whim, you know that being with that person is an adventure.

"Well, since you're not chopped up into little pieces, I'm guessing that you just talked."

"I talked, she yelled, though I deserved it. I deserved it like I deserve to be hit over the head with a bowling pin right now," he told her. "I broke her heart. I took her heart and fed it to Sam. I took her heart and I put it through a meat grinder and then I made hamburgers for your neighbors."

"Disgusting visual," Stephanie said, crinkling her nose. "It was for the best Snooks. The blonde bombshell will realize that when she finds someone who is much better suited for her. See how I spared your dignity by not saying someone better than you."

"Thanks," he chuckled. "I have a feeling you're going to be the only one who sees me as a victim here as well."

"Nah, Mom and Dad will too. That's what family is for, to back you in your stupid decisions."

"It wasn't a stupid decision. Deciding to freeze your underwear in the summer to see if it cools you down on the hot days is a stupid decision. Letting yourself watch any episode of 7th Heaven is a stupid decision, but this wasn't a stupid decision. I definitely have my reasons."

"And you haven't dished them to me!" Stephanie asked, acting appalled. "Snooks, I'm hurt. I've been hit with an arrow, I've been bludgeoned by a mace, I've been pushed over Victoria Falls in a barrel." Chris looked at her and shook his head, not quite knowing what to make of his best friend. She looked at him for a long moment before he opened his mouth to speak.

"You'll find out."


	3. Chapter 3

"She hates me."

"Well of course she does, Snooks," Stephanie said brightly. "You left her at the altar, literally, well, no, again, she wasn't actually at the altar, although, I have to say, that would've been worse, so you really got off a little easier."

"She slapped me."

"You deserved it," she nodded. It was a moment like this where Chris would've wanted her to think about what she said before she spoke. She wasn't exactly helping the situation with her words. Despite the talk not going too badly, for the most part, it had still gone badly and she had still had her heart broken by him.

"Stephers, I know that I deserved it, but you don't need to tell me I deserved it," Chris said to her, groaning as his head fell against the headrest of the passenger seat he was sitting in as Stephanie drove to where they were going for lunch.

"Okay, as long as you know, I wouldn't want you to be in the dark and then one day you ask her to hang out and when she kicks you in the crotch you have no idea why she would even do so. I was just saying that you would want to know."

"Well thank you for looking out for my cajones, I really appreciate that."

"Well, I'm sure they're…actually, I don't really want to know what they're like," Stephanie said, grimacing. "That would definitely make me lose my appetite, and then I would feel faint from not eating and when we drive back from the restaurant, I'd crash into a tree or something, and it'd be your fault."

"You're the one who brought up my crotch."

"Then it'd be my fault," she amended. "I wonder where Trish is going now."

"Why do you wonder?"

"Well, in the movies, you always see those jilted brides and grooms and then the movie is over, unless you watch that Julia Roberts movie."

"The one where her best friend is getting married?"

"No, the one with Richard Gere," she said.

"Pretty Woman?"

"Yes Chris, I'm comparing this situation to Pretty Woman. Trish is just a whore who you took to your hotel room and made her into a sophisticated lady, that's exactly what this situation is," she told him. "Of course not, the one where she's like a bride and she keeps running from her weddings."

"Runaway Bride?"

"Oh, is that the name," Stephanie said quietly. "Well now I feel stupid, how did I not know that? How could I forget that when I just said bride and running away? Wow, I really do feel stupid right now."

"Don't feel stupid," Chris told her. "_I'm_ the one who should feel stupid. I mean, I'm the person who couldn't even tell the girl that I was marrying _the next day_ that I didn't want to be married to her. I'm such a coward. I'm the Cowardly Lion, I am the Cowardly Lion and I need to get some courage."

"See, you ruined the surprise, I was taking us to Oz so that you could get your courage from the Wizard. I was going to ask for a brain because I'm sorely lacking in that department and he was going to give me a diploma, but he'll totally give you some courage."

"My life is just a joke to you, isn't it?" he asked as he glanced at her.

She turned to give him a wide grin and said, "Everyone's life is just a joke to me, _my_ life is just a joke to me, because haven't you heard of the saying that says that if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at, it's completely true."

"My life doesn't seem like a joke."

"Your life is such a joke," she told him. "It's a soap opera, a really bad soap opera. You left a girl at the altar, it doesn't get better than that, and by better I mean more like a soap opera, unless she was pregnant with your baby, and then you slept with me and we found out that we were actually brother and sister because your father had an affair with my mother while he played hockey, and then you found out you were gay and in love with Hunter or something."

"Oh God, if that was my life, I'd shoot myself right now, and I'd hate to have you as a sister," he said without thinking.

Stephanie took pause with that and looked straight ahead as she spoke, "You wouldn't want me as your sister? But I thought that we were best friends, and if we're best friends, and I'm like the closest person in the world to you, shouldn't you want me as a sister?"

Chris bit his lip. Why did he have to have a big mouth like that? Of course he didn't want Stephanie as a sister because that would be absolutely disgusting of him to be so attracted to his sister. He wanted her to be his girlfriend, maybe his wife, maybe the mother of his children, but his sister? No, no way would he ever want Stephanie to be his sister, but he couldn't just blurt it out that he was in love with her; it had to at least be the right moment.

"Well, I mean, it'd be weird having you as my sister," he said, trying to cover his tracks.

"But I call your parents Mom and Dad, and they're like my adopted parents and you treat me like a little sister."

"I do not," he said, trying to make her sound foolish.

"Yes, you do," she argued.

"Look, it'd be weird because we kissed, remember?"

Stephanie groaned, "That was nothing," then she saw his look and conceded, "Okay, it wasn't _nothing_, but it wasn't something to be made a big deal out of. In the grand scheme of things, it was just a blip on the radar. It's like a show that has like five episodes and then is dropped, never to be heard from again, and that's all there is to that. You and I kissing was just a passing thing. You wanted out of your wedding."

"Yeah, I guess," he mumbled.

"Are you kidding me with this?" Stephanie asked as she pulled into a parking space at the diner they were going to be eating at. "Snooks, we discussed this, we discussed this about a million times, the kiss meant nothing. You were trying to get out of your wedding and you were using me as the way to do that."

"Yeah, you've told me that a million times too, so you're the one repeating yourself."

"No, you're repeating yourself and I'm repeating myself because you're repeating yourself. What do I have to do to get you to forget that we kissed, do I have to sleep with you so that I can get your mind off of it?" she joked.

"What good would that do?" Chris asked as he tried not to picture Stephanie naked and underneath him. That would be an awkward situation if there ever was one. Although he had seen Stephanie naked before, albeit briefly. It had been a while ago now. He had thought she was done in the shower and he had accidentally walked in. At the time he made nothing of it because there was nothing to think about. But now the image kept floating into his brain and creating some awkward mornings.

"I don't know, it'd get your mind off us kissing, I know that…but then nothing good can come from friends sleeping together. We'd have to enter some tortuous flirtation and relationship for the next ten years like Ross and Rachel, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be like Rachel."

"Okay, can we just go eat?" Chris asked dully.

Stephanie shrugged and got out of the car, following Chris into the diner. It was one of those themed diners, like you were straight out of the sixties. Stephanie loved to come to places like this. Not because of the atmosphere but because it served milkshakes and Stephanie loved Oreo milkshakes. They were seated and Stephanie studied the menu for a moment while Chris stared at her.

"Stephers?

"What?"

"Can I ask you a serious question, one that requires a serious answer?"

"Well, you can ask the question, but as for a serious answer, I don't know. I'm not the type of person who really gets all that serious. I think that I have a serious switch somewhere and it's on the off position or something."

"Okay, well, I'll ask anyways, what if there was someone that I really liked, and I didn't know how to ask them out. I mean, after this Trish thing, how do I know I'm not going to break some other girl's heart?"

"That's the question, wow, I wasn't aware we had suddenly been transported to a sitcom during family hour. Is the sappy music going to start up soon so that I can learn the big lesson and we can share a big hug and then go out for some ice cream to tide everything over?"

"Stephers, seriously, I don't think that I can get into another relationship when I think that I'll just ruin it."

In actuality, Chris wasn't all that worried about that. What he wanted to know was whether or not he even stood a chance with Stephanie. If he was able to extract the information from her in a timely manner, maybe get some ideas as to what would make her take that leap from friendship to relationship with him, then he would be better off. He knew what was inside Stephanie's head, he knew better than most people, okay, all people, but still, he had never been with relationship Stephanie, just friendship Stephanie.

She rolled her eyes, "Get a real problem there, Jack. You think because you didn't want to marry the blonde bombshell that you're suddenly undateable? Well, you're wrong and it's a stupid question. It's like we were going on a school bus and you asking if the bus was going to be yellow. See, teachers will say there are no stupid questions, but they're so very wrong because there are stupid questions all the time."

"So if you were to date me, if I were to ask you out, you wouldn't find me undateable?" he inquired.

"I want a grilled cheese," Stephanie said. "There's just something about a restaurant's grilled cheese that seems better than when I make it at home. Maybe it's the fact they still use American cheese even though I like to think that cheese has evolved in this country where we can get a whole buttload of different cheeses, but they're sticking with American."

"So you're saying you'd never date me?"

"I'm saying that I'm hungry and I'm tired of talking about things that don't even matter. If you dumping Trish means that you suddenly turned into Mr. 'I'm So Sad About My Life,' then I don't think I'm going to be friends with you anymore. There's something to be said about moving on you know. We all move on, there are songs about moving on. Hey, maybe the jukebox has one!"

Stephanie turned to the mini-jukebox that was situated at their table and started flipping through it, looking for the perfect song to play for Chris. She flipped and flipped, seemingly studying the songs hard as Chris stared at her. He felt like a junior high kid with his first crush. It was a startling thing when you realized who you were meant to spend your life with. It wasn't exactly like an epiphany, but it was just…it was like the path was finally lit for you and you were able to see the future with this person. Now he was being cheesy, he really needed to get off of that.

"Perfect!" Stephanie exclaimed as she pressed a few buttons.

"What did you choose?" he asked her.

"You'll see…or hear," she told him, wiggling her eyebrows a little as the waitress came over to take their orders. As the waitress came back to give them their drinks, a song came on and Stephanie grinned and pointed towards the speakers. "This is it!"

Chris listened and it only took him a moment to realize what song she had chosen. The Beatle's song, "Help!" started blasting over the speakers and Stephanie did a little dance to it. Chris looked at her. She knew that The Beatles were his favorite band, and this song spoke personally to his situation. He looked at Stephanie, who was grinning at him.

"See, it's perfect for you, you need some help," she said knowingly. "Right, Snooks?"

"Yeah, I definitely need help," he told her as she sipped at her milkshake. She got a little bit on her bottom lip and she hadn't noticed yet. He reached out and wiped her lip, much to her surprise, and showed her that she had milkshake on her face, licking it off his own finger.

"Thanks," she told him. "See, totally not undateable. If I were a girl that you were out on a date with, I think it would be so sweet of you to wipe my face off to spare me any further embarrassment. You just haven't found the right woman, Snooks, but you'll find her and when that day comes, you'll forget about me, and I'll be like the Incredible Hulk, you know, with the hitchhiking and everything. I'll be all by my little lonesome. I'll have to become a hermit and live off the land, and people will come to me because I am so wise."

What Stephanie didn't know was that if she wanted to find the right woman for Chris.

She only had to look in the mirror.


	4. Chapter 4

Ask her on a date, don't ask her on a date, ask her on a date, don't ask her on a date…

Chris was pacing his locker room, probably wearing a hole in the rug beneath his feet, but he hardly cared. He was contemplating the rest of his life right now. Was he being overdramatic? Yes, of course he was, but you never knew. You couldn't know if something would have a profound affect on your life from this moment forward and so every decision had to be weighed carefully.

And right now, he was contemplating whether or not he should just come right out and ask Stephanie on a date. Oh sure, it would be easy for her to laugh in his face, call him a goober, tape it and then send it to America's Funniest Home Videos, but maybe, just maybe, possibly, if even just one time out of a hundred, maybe she'd say yes. Maybe she would tell him that yes, she would go out with him, and that she had been waiting for him to ask her out for years, and he was just hanging around with her to try and get in his good graces, to seduce him. Maybe he'd whisk her away and they'd get married and everything.

Then again, maybe he needed to get a new imagination because this one was clearly filled with cheese.

He groaned and fell against the sofa in his locker room. Yeah, she was going to think he was a goober, and wasn't he? He was going to ask the one stable in his life, the only person who had ever really mattered to him, out on a date? Who the hell was he kidding? This wasn't going to happen. He was going to crash and burn harder than the Hindenburg. There was no way she would ever see him more as a friend; Stephanie was just so stubborn like that. He clenched his fists and brought them up to his mouth, practically growling with frustration.

He finally gave up the fight brewing within him and instead, stared up at the ceiling, finding it much more intriguing than anything pertaining to Stephanie. He also didn't want his mind to wander to Trish because he was sure that he was going to run into her tonight. They were at the show, and she was bound to be here. This is why he never should've gotten involved with someone at work, the fact was he was going to see her again, and he was probably going to see her again soon.

"You don't have anything to do tonight."

"Jesus!" Chris yelped, yes, yelped as Stephanie stood behind the couch he was sitting on, staring down at his face. "Don't do that, Stephers, you could've made me jump out of my skin, and I don't want your dad to get wind of that and make me have a skeleton gimmick, that would ruin my reputation."

"I don't know, that would make for some interesting storylines if you had no skin. Would you ever wear clothes if you had no skin? Probably a lot of layers, right, because you'd be really cold if you had no muscles, no fat, no skin, no hair, yeah, you'd be pretty cold."

"Okay, now I'm getting creeped out," he told her. "What do you mean I don't have anything to do tonight? I have plenty of things to do tonight, I have to brush my teeth later, I have to put my pajamas on…"

"Well, I guess I should've clarified myself, Snooks, otherwise you might think that you don't have anything to do in life, and then you'd jump off a building and end up on some CSI: show."

"That would be tragic," Chris nodded soberly.

"What I mean is that you don't have anything to do at the show tonight. Your services are not needed."

"Why aren't they using me? Don't tell me that your dad got wind that I called him an old bastard who probably wears a toupee and now he's mad at me and relegating me to janitorial duty or something."

"No…and when did you call my dad an old bastard who wears a toupee? Because I wasn't there and that's just a shame, I mean, come on, Snooks, when you're breaking out the good Vince insults, you have to make sure that I'm around!" she whined.

"Fine, fine, I'll make sure next time."

"You're not on the show because you were granted clearance to go on your…wait for it…honeymoon. So my parents didn't plan anything for you, and when I tried to talk to them…well, let's just say it wasn't pretty."

"_Dad, Chris is here tonight, so is Trish, they're two of our bigger draws, you can't tell me that you honestly have nothing for either one of them to do."_

"_I don't," Vince dismissed her quickly. Stephanie sighed and bit onto the top of her pencil to try and curb the words that were threatening to spill out of her mouth. They were on the tip of her tongue, they were on her lips, they were suddenly past her lips…_

"_I really think that we can fit him in, make the main event a Triple Threat Match. We have the promo at the beginning with Edge and Hunter, and with them fighting, we can bring in Chris, and he could challenge them both, match made, and we've got a great main-event."_

"_No," Vince said curtly. "I'm not changing the show to suit _your _friend's needs."_

_Stephanie knew that was coming. She knew that her father was going to hold it against her that she was friends with Chris. He never listened to her ideas, no matter how good they were. Then, when it came time to place blame, who was the finger always pointed at? Yeah, she was always the scapegoat._

"_But I think--"_

"_No, I said no, and I'm the president around here, not you," Vince told her sternly. "Chris is not going to appear on the show tonight because he shouldn't even be here. Of course, I should've expected this, just like you, your little friend can't see anything through to the finish."_

"_If this is about that triathlon again, Dad, I'm sorry, but the bicycling part just got to me. It was the darn broken pedal."_

"_I should've known you wouldn't take this seriously. Chris is not on the show because he was given time off, and you know how I hate to do that, so his punishment is that he's not going to be on the show."_

"So you went through a lot of crap for me, then?" Chris said, and he kind of smiled. He kind of liked the idea that she would defend him. Maybe there was a little hope after all.

"Yes, Snooks, I waded through the sewers for you. I put on my galoshes and then I entered the ventilation system and then here I am, right here for you, oh, and to tell you the bad news."

"How bad is bad?"

"Um…less than a bad apple, but more than Michael Jackson's Bad video," she responded seriously. Then she sighed and said, "My dad doesn't want you in the building. It's his way of trying to stick it to me. The minute that you walk out of the arena, he's going to have two men all dressed in black abduct me and then tie me to a chair and prop my eyelids open while they brainwash me into being a 'good, little girl,' who does everything her daddy tells her to do."

"Is that your way of telling me that I should hide out in your bathroom?" he asked.

"Oh, I was thinking that you could make a fort under my desk with the pillows from my couch."

"Don't knock fort-building, Stephers, there's a lot to be said about a good pillow fort. I mean, it keeps the invaders out, and protects you from the hot lava that resides around your fort that if you touch, you instantly burn."

"Duly noted," she said to herself. "I guess next time we go home, we'll have to build a fort."

"I've always wanted a tree-house."

"Me too!" she exclaimed. "With a rope ladder so that anyone we didn't like could get shut out of there. But now I'm too old for that, my tree-house would have to have satellite hook-up and indoor plumbing and I'm not sure that I want to go to all the hassle only to have a squirrel eat all our food and chew through our wires."

"So your dad really kicked me out, huh?"

"Yeah, he would get one of the bodyguards to throw you out, but I think…I _think_ that he actually likes you better than he likes me so he's not going to do that. Now if it _were_ me, he would definitely just get someone to throw me out of the arena. And I would do the obligatory arms flailing thing, you know like, like DJ Jazzy Jeff on _Fresh Prince of Bel-Air_."

"Oh, that's not true, you know your dad would love for me to be thrown out of here on my ass, but I guess if I'm not welcome here, I better go," Chris said, standing up. Maybe if he was away from the situation with Stephanie and with Trish, then he could have a clear head and actually think of a plan to make this woman fall for him, or at least agree to try to be something more than what they were.

It was going to be a weird transition, he knew that. He wasn't going into this thinking that one second he and Stephanie would be the best of friends and the next second they'd be falling naked into bed together. He knew there was going to be a transitional phase and he was going to accept that. He also knew that there was going to be a chance they didn't work out, and he might lose her forever. The thought sobered him a bit to the idea, but he had to try. He had to at least see if there was something to build on. He knew that these feelings were strong and they hadn't just shown up. They had spent the past four years building and building to a fever pitch until he couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Don't leave me, Snooks!" Stephanie said, trying to sound as dramatic as possible. She heard a buzzing sound and looked down at her beeper. "Oh, look, I'm being paged. I bet you this is my dad. He's probably making me scrub the floors with my toothbrush or something. I'll see you back at the hotel."

"Yeah, you'll see me back at the hotel," he said simply, knowing that she had to run. He grabbed his bags and went to his rental car, getting inside and staring at his hands for a second. Sometimes he didn't know why he wanted to go through the trouble of being with Stephanie. She was going to be trouble, and she was going to babble at all times of the day, and he was so completely and utterly in love with her.

He went back to his hotel and spent the night trying to think of some way to get Stephanie to be his. He needed to find a way, he wanted to find a way, but what possible way was there? He didn't think explaining his feelings would get him any more than being laughed at. Yes, Stephanie would laugh in his face, she had no shame like that. Just when he was about ready to give up, he heard the door open in her hotel room and then she appeared a few moments later, hopping on the bed.

"So, after you left, there was a zombie attack, and so I had to get out my gun and shoot the zombies in the head and everything, and you really missed out on a good time," Stephanie said giddily.

"Wow, zombies, did you get bit?"

"No, thank goodness, but my brother did, I couldn't tell at first though, since he's usually droning on and on anyways, but I figured it out in time, it's not a real change though, so he should adapt well."

"Interesting, anything else of note happen while I sat here like I was in Purgatory, or prison, solitary confinement of course, not like the prison showers or anything."

"Well, you'd be proud of me," Stephanie said.

"Oh Stephers, did you learn how to roller skate? I'm so happy for you!" Chris said, grabbing her waist. She shrugged his hands off of her and stuck her tongue out. "Oh, so that's what you learned, impressive, that'll come in handy I'm sure."

"No, you'd be proud because I entered myself back into the dating pool. No applause, I know that the world's single men, and some of the married ones, were clamoring for my return, and I hope my big debut didn't disappoint," she said, taking a little bow.

"Dating pool?"

"Yes, dating pool," Stephanie said. "Me, Stephanie McMahon, Stephanie Marie McMahon, born September 24, 1976, was asked out tonight. Probably because I'm so charming and my wit is sparkling, and yes, I got asked out, aren't you proud that I've so readily recovered from my failed relationship with Randy? Plus, big plus, _now_ you can get married because I would have a date to you wedding instead of getting stuck dancing with your second cousin, Todd, who looks at me like I'm a steak."

"Date?" Chris choked out.

"Yeah, his name is Jacob, and he's new, he's one of the new guys taking care of editing, and he was there, and he saw me, and we smiled, we talked, he asked me out, and I said yes," she said smugly, lying down next to Chris. "He's cute too, that's a plus, but whatever, proud, not proud, I can break out into Proud Mary if you want."

Chris couldn't speak though. She had been asked out. He had been gone for what, five hours, and she had gotten asked out in five hours and he had suddenly missed the boat like he was on _I Love Lucy_ and had missed the cruise ship to Paris. He'd have to go in a helicopter and land on the deck, how had he missed the boat. He was looking stricken and Stephanie gazed up at him curiously.

"Do you think this is a bad idea, Snooks?"

"Uh…no, no, you said you were back in the dating pool, that's great, that is really…great."

"I know," she said excitedly. "This time next week, I will be on a date."

That only meant one thing to Chris.

He had one week to make sure this date didn't happen.


	5. Chapter 5

What kind of name ends in a B?

Yes, Chris was just being bitter and upset with his current situation. And when that happened, he usually did a couple of things. His bitterness du jour was being extremely critical of a man he had never met, or if he had met him, it had been so brief he had not made an impression on Chris's mind. So he was thinking of stupid, nonsensical things to rag on this guy about, and first on his list, the first thing he came up with was the stupidity of someone's name ending in a B.

"Stupid Jacob with his stupid name, and I bet he has stupid hair," he mumbled to himself as he thought about Stephanie's date later that evening. Later this evening she was going to be on some date with this guy and Chris was going to be sitting here and lamenting the fact that he didn't have the balls to ask her first. But he was in a delicate situation, a situation that had to be carefully tread because if it didn't work, he was out a best friend…

Oh, who was he kidding, he didn't have the balls to ask her.

"I bet he has no fashion sense," Chris muttered as he sat on the bed, alone, while Stephanie went through the outfits that she had brought with her.

"So I officially have nothing to wear," Stephanie said as she walked into his room. "I mean, I know we said casual, but I don't have anything that's just casual enough, this is why I should go shopping more if it weren't for the fact that I hate shopping and only do it in absolute emergencies, and this is not an emergency because I'm not bleeding or maimed, it's a big plus that I'm not maimed."

"Yeah," Chris responded, staring down at the bedspread.

"What's up, Snooks? You don't look so good, a little green around the gills, if you had gills, which you don't, because if you had gills, you would totally have to live in the ocean since things with gills need water, and you don't need water, except when you take a bath or a shower, since you need water with that since you aren't a chinchilla, who, you know, takes a bath in dust."

"So does Pigpen," Chris told her, trying to act normal so she wouldn't be tipped off to the real reason that he was upset.

"Wow, from the Animal Kingdom to Peanuts, we are so the royalty of the pop culture reference, and this is why we should have our own show, people would love us and adore us and we'd find civilizations that worship us and bow to our idols made out of chocolate."

"Sounds like fun," Chris told her, distracted by the situation around him. He had tried everything to not get her on this date, but she was completely adamant about it. He had tried everything in his book of tricks, and not a single one had worked.

"_Stephers, there's this huge concert in Italy that we _have_ to go to next week. If we ask nicely, I bet your dad will give us the week off."_

"_Whoa, did someone switch my father?" Stephanie asked. "Because the dad that I know would never let me voluntarily have time off, so you must have me mistaken with another Stephers, my evil twin maybe, oh God, is she trying to assume my identity and get with Randy so she can get pregnant with his illegitimate child and then marry him, only to reveal at the wedding that she's not me! Snooks, we have to stop the wedding."_

"_It's at the First Presbyterian Church on Gordon Street," Chris told her._

"_We've got to get there then," she told him, pretending to jog off. "But seriously, you think that my father, self-proclaimed workaholic, is just going to let us have the week off?"_

"_He didn't want me on his show this week," Chris pointed out._

"_That was because you were supposed to be naked in a bed with the blonde bombshell, staring up at yourself in the mirror on the ceiling," Stephanie said. "Either that or be naked with the blonde bombshell against the wall, naked with her in the shower, naked with her--"_

"_Why do you want to see me naked so much?" Chris asked slyly, thinking that maybe, just maybe he had caught her in her own trap._

"_I've been telling you forever that since you saw me naked, it's only fair that I should see you naked, I'm just saying," Stephanie shrugged. "It would be a fair trade-off."_

_Chris didn't know if this was an in or not, and he didn't know if she was serious, though knowing Stephanie, she was never serious, ever, so he figured she wasn't being serious now, but he was going to call her bluff. Maybe he would take his plunge finally, and be totally perverted in the meantime. Chris gave Stephanie a look and she returned it defiantly, folding her arms in front of her. Chris stood up a few feet in front of her and reached for his jeans._

"_Well now we're getting somewhere," Stephanie said lasciviously, licking her lips a little bit. "Finally…let's see it, Snooks."_

"_You asked for it, Stephers," Chris said, unbuckled his belt and then the button at the top. He stopped for a moment and looked to Stephanie, to see if she was going to cave. She gave him the once-over, and didn't say anything as she waited. Chris, emboldened now, pushed the zipper down on his jeans and then pushed them down so they fell around his ankles, leaving him in his boxers._

"_Well, Snooks, do or die time, am I going to break out in a fit of the giggles, or am I going to drag you to the bedroom and play with your toy?" Stephanie said coyly._

"_Oh, trust me Stephers, you're going to want to play," Chris said confidently as he drew his hands towards his boxers. Just as the game was about to get heated, Stephanie's phone rang and she ran to the kitchen to pick it up._

"_Hello…Jacob, hey!" Stephanie said and the moment was lost. Chris leaned down and pulled up his pants, sighing and smiting Jacob at the same time._

"He should be here pretty soon," Stephanie said.

Chris looked at the clock and saw that it was only 4:38, and he frowned a little bit. "I thought you guys were meeting at 7:00."

"Oh, yeah, we were, but he called and said that he wanted to take me somewhere, but it was imperative that it was light out. I figured that you would be happy with that, since you like when I go out in the daytime, makes you worry about me less if I'm out among the living and not the undead and vampires who only come out at night."

"I just figured we had more time to hang out."

"As opposed to the small, insignificant amounts of time we already hang out together, what are we down to now, 22 hours and 15 minutes spent together everyday, we're slipping, Snooks, we're definitely slipping," Stephanie said, pretending to look sad. "Remember when we used to spend 27 hours out of each day together. Those were the days."

"When girls were girls and men were men," Chris sang.

"Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again," Stephanie finished with a big grin. "Well, now that we've got that out of our system, yes, my date is coming shortly, and I know that you like to interrogate each and every one of them, so…"

Chris grabbed his stomach and groaned. "Oh God…"

"What's the matter with you, and if you even tell me it's because you hate a giant burrito, I'm not going to hold your hair back," Stephanie told him. "Because after you ate that what was it, like four pound burrito, and you puked for an hour straight, I was never the same, sometimes I have nightmares about it…"

"No, it's my stomach, it hurts," Chris told her, doubling over. "And I haven't had a burrito, oh my God, oww."

"Snooks, are you okay? Really?"

"I don't know, my stomach, I just got this really bad stomachache," he told her, lying back on the bed.

Stephanie came over and sat down across from him, reaching out to brush his hair away from his face. Chris closed his eyes and reveled in her touch. Her hands smelled like peaches from her lotion, and he felt like a teenage boy with his first real, serious crush. She brushed her hand down his cheek and held the back of it there. He opened his eyes and saw the concern plain in her eyes. It felt nice even though he knew that Stephanie was always concerned when it came to him being sick.

"You don't feel warm and you aren't clammy," Stephanie said. "So you probably don't have a temperature, which is a good thing, and all you had to eat today was a Danish, and then that sandwich at lunch, oh, you know what, I bet you that sandwich had the mustard that you can't eat because it gives you a stomachache."

"That's probably it," he groaned.

"Yeah, you usually feel fine after a while, it's just too hot for you," Stephanie told him. "You'll be fine."

"Maybe I have appendicitis."

"Yeah, I don't think so," Stephanie said, standing up. "So you just stay here and rest, and when I come back later, I'll bring some tea and crackers for you and that should help settle your stomach, before then, don't eat anything unless you want to recreate certain scenes from _The Exorcist_."

"I wasn't planning on spinning my head completely around," Chris told her. "Stay with me."

"Snooks," she whined. "Normally, you know I would, but you know that I have plans, and I hate breaking plans with someone. Look, you're going to be fine, so you can just wish me luck. You know, it was really sweet of him to stay here until Tuesday to go out with me since my father the ogre wouldn't let me off early last night." There was a knock on Stephanie's door just then and she looked at it, aghast, "Oh man, he's early, and now I'm not even really dressed, how bad is your stomach right now, like is it mild discomfort or is it like, two seconds away from the toilet?"

"Oh, I can answer the door," Chris said, getting out of bed slowly. When Stephanie's back was turned, grabbing some of her clothes and bringing it into Chris's room to change, he returned to his normal demeanor, cursing that the stomachache hadn't worked. Why oh why did she have to know every little thing about him? Any other girl and they would've been poring over him, making sure that he was going to be okay. But Stephanie knew him too well to stay. He threw open the door and tried to give as threatening a look as possible. "Can I help you?"

The guy was nothing special. He looked like any other Joe that worked backstage, didn't stand out to Chris. He was medium build with black hair and brown eyes, nothing that stood out. He looked surprised to see Chris there, but recovered, "Um, do I have the right room, I'm going to meet Stephanie McMahon."

"This is Stephanie's room," Chris told him.

"I know you're Chris Jericho, but I have a date with her and I was wondering…where she was."

"She's getting ready, you didn't give her much time to get dressed," Chris said snidely. "So where do you plan on taking her tonight?"

"I was going to take her to watch the sunset over drinks and then dinner," Jacob told him. "I don't see why it's any of your business though…"

"Oh, you better believe it's my business," Chris said, stepping up to him. "And do you want to know why, Jacob? Well here's why, Stephanie is my best friend, and she has been for almost five years now, and I'm very protective of Stephanie. So if I hear that you so much as breathed at her the wrong way, you're going to be messing with me, and if you think that you can wheedle your into Stephanie's life and push me out, let me get one thing straight first, I'm always going to be there, you can't get rid of me."

"Okay, ready!" Stephanie said, bounding out and smiling at Jacob and then giving a stern look to Chris, who just shrugged. "Hey, Jacob."

"Hi Stephanie," he said brightly, but then gave a slightly weary look to Chris, who just glared at him. Stephanie went over to the two men and smiled, not entirely oblivious to what had just happened, but not knowing the specifics. It was just a formality for Chris to grill every guy she ever went out with. It was his thing, and her thing was to completely ignore it.

"How's your stomach?" Stephanie asked Chris, and he just gave her a lopsided smile. No matter how much he loved Stephanie and wanted her for himself, if she was happy without him, he was going to let her be happy. It didn't even have to do with that old cliché about loving something and letting it go, he just knew that it was the right thing to do. Her being happy was his number one priority and always would be, whether she was with him or not. "Okay, good, I'll see you later, Snooks, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," he told her, and watched as Jacob led her out of the room with his hand on the small of his back.

Chris watched jealously as they walked down the hallway and something inside of him felt like crying. Luckily he was too much a man to shed a tear, but he was rapidly turning green with envy over Stephanie. He was the one who could love her the most, he _was_ the one that loved her the most. In a world where Stephanie's family didn't really care about her, Chris was the only guy that really, truly cared about her well-being. He wanted to be that guy. It only took him a few more minutes to decide.

He grabbed his jacket and knew he had to follow her.


	6. Chapter 6

Stephanie had been looking at her menu for seven minutes.

It wasn't like Chris was timing her or anything. He had just happened to glance at the clock when he saw her sit down and get handed the menu, and then you know, was glancing at it periodically. She seemed like she couldn't decide what she wanted, which was just typical Stephanie. Every meal would have elements that she liked or loved, and she would mull over every single one of them, lamenting the fact that they just couldn't serve her a big slop bucket with all her favorite things, not that Stephanie was a pig, well, yes, she was a bit of a pig sometimes, put a plate of pancakes in front of her, and she'll devour it like she hadn't eaten in days.

She set the menu down and Chris pulled his menu up over his face, peeking over it every so often. He knew he was pathetic, he didn't need someone to tell him that. Not only was he spying on his best friend, and potential love interest/soulmate (yes, he was reaching, sue him), on a date, he was eating alone. It didn't get more pathetic than that. It didn't help that this place was kind of romantic and he was definitely and most decidedly alone. So not only was he spying, he was projecting a "loser who can't get a girl" image. Yes, Chris Jericho had reached the pinnacle of being a man.

"You look lonely…"

Chris looked over his menu at the woman holding a martini in front of him. She looked nice enough in the looks department, but Chris only had eyes for one woman. It was like he was a telescope and he could only focus on Stephanie while everything else was just a big blur. He didn't want anyone but Stephanie, at least right now. He just wanted a shot, that was it, a shot, and if it didn't work out, he would fall back into the woodwork as her friend, and that would be that.

"No, I'm not lonely, you just don't see my friend, George, you see," Chris lowered his voice, "he's invisible. Don't tell him that though, he hasn't fully realized it yet, and he's still a little touchy over it."

The girl giggled. "Do you think…George, would mind if I sat down, I mean, he's a guy right…"

"He's an antelope," Chris nodded soberly.

"Oh, well, antelopes make room for people," she said as she sat down. Chris glanced over at Stephanie who was apparently listening to whatever Jacob was saying, but she kept glancing down at her menu, probably undecided between three or four different entrees. Then there was the whole thing of whether she should get a salad or not. Was she hungry enough to get a salad, or could she stand with just the entrée, it was a constant struggle with Stephanie, and yet, every flaw or quirk she had, Chris found it endearing.

"I'm Seline," she said, sticking her hand out. Never one to be impolite, Chris shook her hand.

"I'm Chris, and I'm kind of…well, taken," he said, trying to get away from this woman.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I had no idea," she said, getting up quickly. "I just saw that you were here, and I thought that you were alone, I'm…wow, embarrassed now, I'm sorry, so sorry."

"Yeah, it's cool, whatever," Chris said, watching as she walked away quickly. So he had lied, it wouldn't be the first time, it wouldn't be the last time unless he dropped dead in the next minute or so. He just didn't have time to entertain some floozy when Stephanie was sitting over there, her chin placed delicately upon her hand as she smiled politely at her dinner date. She smiled, and Chris cringed inwardly, wondering if that meant she was having a good time.

"So then, when I was in high school, I had to decide what sports I wanted to do, and I chose to do track and then football. So I did that, made regionals in the 4x100 relay team, I was the anchor, the most important."

"You know, it's funny," Stephanie interrupted, "because when you think of anchors, you think of the things on the ship, right, and those things are heavy, so you'd think like, 'oh the anchor is going to be the one that's the slowest or something,' but in track, they're fast, and I just thought of that, man, they really should've thought of a better term, like…the sail! That would so work, it's still got the whole ship/nautical theme, but a sail is meant to make you go faster, so you would be the sail of the team."

"Yeah…anchor sounds better," he said, "but I was the anchor and if it hadn't been for the guy on the second leg botching the hand off of the baton, we would've definitely made it to nationals, that guy screwed it up for us. So did you play any sports?"

"I used to sneak out of my house, and I would definitely consider that a sport, I had to climb down houses, over walls, the whole thing, so I would definitely call myself a mountain climber."

"No, seriously, did you play any organized sports, or were you like a cheerleader type?" he asked, staring at her intently.

Stephanie cringed, "A cheerleader? No, there were no particular cheers that I wanted to lead. See, I tried to get the cheers to follow me, but they just wouldn't. Maybe if I had a flute or something like the Pied Piper, what did he play? A pipe, or a fife, what's a fife, I don't know, I think it was pipe because he was a Piper, right, well, I didn't play the flute or the fife or whatever it's called, so the cheers didn't follow me."

"So you weren't a cheerleader then?"

"God no," Stephanie chuckled, snorting as she laughed. "I just don't see myself as the short skirt, pom-pom waving, ribbons-in-the-hair kind of girl. I mean, I was popular, don't get me wrong, I wasn't like that chick in that one movie, you know where she goes from the dork to the prom queen or something, I wasn't a dork, ever, not that there's anything wrong with being a dork, some of my best friends are dorks, one best friend in particular."

"Chris Jericho?"

"Oh yes, he's a big dork, not a nerd though, dork, big difference, he's the best…at being a best friend, he knows how to be a best friend very well."

"Yeah, I'm sure…what's his deal though, he's like always hanging all over you," Jacob said flippantly. This is what started to set Stephanie off a little bit. She didn't like it when people talked badly about Chris. He was the best person she knew and she was fortunate to have him in her life, she knew this.

"Well, I am made of coat hangers," she said seriously. "So he's naturally inclined to hang off of me…but seriously speaking, as if I'm ever serious, he likes to protect me, I don't have…very many people in this world that truly and honestly care about me, and he's one of them."

"So why did he not marry Trish Stratus?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, though on some level she did know. She just didn't know the purest reason for Chris breaking it off. It was bothering her that he was asking all these personal questions about Chris. He didn't really have a right to know any of this. "So what are you having?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"Seriously, if I were engaged to someone like Trish…or you," he added as an afterthought, to which she lowered her head and rolled her eyes, "I would definitely marry her…or you," again with the afterthoughts. "What, is he gay or something?"

"Oh, if only, life would be so much easier, we could gossip over boys and stuff," Stephanie said, clapping her hands sarcastically, hoping to get her point across. "He has his reasons, and just because you're engaged to someone pretty doesn't mean the relationship will work."

"I'd make it work."

"Well then you're better than like fifty percent of everyone, you should be on Dr. Phil, or you should just _be_ Dr. Phil, he makes tons of money giving people advice that probably won't work in the long-run, think of the money you'd make."

"Dude's a blowhard," Jacob told her. "I have no tolerance for blowhards."

Stephanie had it on the tip of her tongue, the perfect comeback, oh man, if she could just tell him that he had no tolerance for himself, her troubles would be solved, but she was bigger than that, yes she was. Okay, so she wasn't, but they hadn't even ordered yet, and if she had to endure a bad date, she was sure as hell getting a good meal out of it. Finally, the waitress came over to take their orders. Stephanie grinned across the table and then looked up at the waitress.

"Hi," Stephanie said politely. "I will start with the raw oyster appetizer with the caviar, then I really want to try that lobster you have on the special, the lobster tails with truffle butter, and then I would like a martini with the best vodka that you have."

Jacob stared across the table at her as he ordered quietly and let the waitress walk away, "You like caviar?"

Stephanie grinned at him, "Nope."

Chris frowned as Stephanie sat there grinning at her date. That was a giddy grin, he knew that from a mile away. He wanted to know what was making her giddy. Little did he know that it was the fact she was sticking it to her date. His own waiter came over and he ordered a steak, thankful that they had at least gone to a restaurant where he'd get a good meal. Eating it alone was a little bit on the lonely side, but he was going to make sure that Stephanie…well, he didn't know what he wanted to get out of following Stephanie, but he just wanted to see her, to make sure she didn't do anything stupid.

It wasn't in Stephanie to do stupid stuff, but he just didn't want her to...be with someone else. He had never cared like this before, not even with Randy. He was warring with these new feelings, trying to adjust to the change. As a friend, yes, he had followed her, tailed her on her dates, but as a concerned friend, someone who wanted her to be safe. He still wanted her to be safe, but he wanted her to be safe with him, and he didn't want her with some other guy who had the potential to hurt her. Chris would never intentionally hurt her, he just didn't have it in him to hurt her, never had.

Later on, after the check had been paid, Jacob and Stephanie were walking around the park situated near the restaurant. Stephanie was pulling her coat tighter around her and listening to Jacob drone on and on about how he had always wanted to take up cycling, but he didn't think that he had the stamina for it. So to say she was bored out of her mind would be an understatement. This man had no sense of humor whatsoever, and he had laughed at approximately none of her jokes, in fact, she didn't think he had laughed the entire time they had been together tonight. That was very sad because she believed that laughter was the best medicine and he was suffering from a serious case of narcissism.

Chris darted behind another tree, watching as Stephanie nodded, listening to Jacob talk. It seemed to Chris that he had been talking the entire time, and he was surprised that Stephanie would let him talk so much. Maybe she was fascinated by him, and that thought sickened Chris. It sickened him so much that as he ran to duck behind another tree, he tripped over the large root sticking out of the ground and cried out as he tumbled to the ground.

Stephanie heard someone yelp and she turned to see someone sprawled on the grass behind her. She squinted her eyes, the only light coming from the streetlights and businesses nearby , trying to see what that was. She was about to turn around, thinking that it was just some drunk, frat boy when she caught a glimpse of the familiar blond hair and she sighed and turned to Jacob.

"Um…excuse me for a moment, will you?" Stephanie said to him as she walked over to where Chris was now sitting in the grass. She crouched down next to him, "You know, this time, you really almost disguised yourself well, I really didn't think that it was you."

"Really?" he asked hopefully as he looked up at her.

"Yeah, I thought you were a drunk, frat boy," she said. "I mean, you know, stumbling to the ground, laying there, it was between that and a crazy man, and I should've known you were the crazy man and not the drunk, frat boy."

"Thanks for the benefit of the doubt," he said.

"Are you hurt? Or have you decided that you want to be a mole and you're going to burrow yourself underground and then go blind because you'll be in the dark and rely on your sense of smell?"

"I think I broke my wrist," he said, wincing as he held up the offending wrist, his left one, which he was holding gingerly with his right hand.

"Are you messing with me right now?" Stephanie asked. "You play the sympathy vote and then I bite, and you reveal that you were really okay and you were just playing with me, and then I feel like such a dork, I can't show my face in public."

"It would be the public's loss if they couldn't see your mug."

"My coffee mug? Well, it does have Snoopy on it, and that _would_ be a big loss for society. Come on, I'll take you to the hospital," she said, helping him up. "You know, you did me a big favor, Jacob is like the world's most boring man. I think he's been living in a bunker for the past ten years because all he knows is what happened to him in high school, and the only subject he can talk about is himself."

"So that's why you weren't talking," Chris said.

"No, I wasn't talking because if I talked about myself, my head would explode, he put a hex on me," she told him. Together they walked over to Jacob and he narrowed his eyes at Chris, "Jacob, it's been…not fun, and…don't call me. You are perhaps the worst date I've ever had, and that's saying a lot. But I now realize why you're probably still single, and it wouldn't be cool of me to not share that information. You say that you have no tolerance for blowhards, well, you should see this, _you_ are a blowhard, so the first thing you should do is learn self-tolerance, see ya."

Chris walked away with Stephanie, and he was happy that he had seemingly won this round. He walked with Stephanie to his car, and she drove them to the hospital, where he found that he had broken his wrist. Stephanie came into the room before they were going to wrap his wrist and she sat atop the examination table with him, leaning her head on his shoulder. He looked down at her brown hair and resisted the urge to kiss the top of her head.

"I guess I owe you a thank you for saving me earlier."

"You're welcome, Stephers," he told her quietly.

"Even getting injured for me, you're like a knight, going into battle for his lady…or in this case, I guess it'd be like a knight going into battle for his horse since we're friends, not that I'm a horse, because I'm not a horse."

"Oh, so that saddle I bought you for your birthday, impractical?"

The nurse came into the room with the supplies to wrap his hand in its cast and she smiled at the two of them. "Your wife in here for moral support?"

"Oh, she's not my--" Chris started.

"Yes, my husband is a bit of a klutz," Stephanie giggled. "I don't know what I'm going to do with him, right smoochy, huggy-wuggy bear."

Chris looked at her and resisted the urge to laugh. "Yes, my little snuggly cupcake cutie-pie."

Stephanie laughed and took his good hand, holding it in hers. Chris looked down at their hands and the way they intertwined with each other perfectly. Her hands were warm too, and he found that she was rubbing his knuckles with her smooth fingertips, and he was getting lost in her touch. This was how it was supposed to be, this was what he wanted it to be. He just needed to find the courage to do something about it. He needed to find the courage to ask her out.

But for right now, this would have to do.


	7. Chapter 7

He needed to get away from her for a while.

That was an odd thought, even for him. While thoughts of Ding-Dongs and reruns of The Jeffersons were normal things for him to think about, him needing to get away from Stephanie was about the most foreign thing he could think of. Yet, there it was, floating in his brain as he sat there at work for the evening. Well, not so much work, since he was incapacitated. He had to wear this damn cast for the next three weeks and since it was a legitimate injury and not one of those really phony-looking casts that they gave guys who were supposed to look injured.

Vince and Linda were very disappointed to hear that he was going to be out for the next three weeks, they had even lectured him like he was their son or something, and that had been a little awkward. Not as awkward as the thoughts that these could be his in-laws someday, if he ever got off his ass and actually asked out Stephanie. He could only imagine their faces if he became their son-in-law. They would hate him, it wouldn't even be in question, they would absolutely hate his guts. They blamed him for Stephanie being the way she was, boisterous, random, and absolutely fun to be with. They didn't see that was just how Stephanie was day-to-day.

"My parents are so pissed!" Stephanie said as she almost bounced into the room. "You should see them. They are so angry with you, it was great, they were all stern with me and everything, telling me that if I insist on being friends with you, the least that I can do is watch you and make sure you don't get injured. I wanted to laugh, Snooks, I was about to laugh in their faces."

"And then we'd both be out of jobs and you'd have no trust fund, and you'd have to come live with me, and since they're aren't that many wrestling gigs out there right now, I'd use up all my money on us, and we'd have to move in with my parents, and it'd all be ugly," Chris told her.

"Oh, no it wouldn't, because I didn't grow up with Mom and Dad, so it would be a whole new experience for me," she told him lightly as she plopped herself down next to him.

He just couldn't stand another second of being around her and carrying all these feelings for her and not doing anything about it. But he was holding it all inside because of the potential consequences of asking her out on a date. The worst-case scenario was that he would lose her forever, and he just couldn't have that. He'd rather be run over by an ice cream truck than have Stephanie leave him as a friend. So most of the time he believed it was friend or nothing, and he'd much rather have friend over nothing.

He needed time to sort out his feelings, and that's why this broken wrist was a blessing in disguise. He could use it as an excuse to get away for a while, maybe go visit his parents up in Canada and catch up with some old friends. It would be a nice getaway and it would actually give him time to regroup and be fresh for a return. It might also ease these feelings that he was having for Stephanie, maybe even make them disappear. Maybe he could even find a nice girl over the next couple weeks and forget that he ever felt anything romantic for Stephanie at all.

"Hello, does this thing work?" Stephanie said, poking him in the nose. "Earth to Snooks, do you copy? I'm losing you, Snooks."

"Sorry, I temporarily left my body."

"Oh, did you go anywhere exciting? Guam? India? Toledo?" she asked, clapping her hands. "And did you pick me up a spiritual souvenir, I can temporarily leave my body in order to retrieve it if you want."

"Sorry, my spirit didn't bring any money so he wasn't able to buy anything."

"Damn," Stephanie cursed. "I was hoping for enlightenment, or at least a really good way to make grilled cheese and tomato without having the tomato be really gross in the middle, maybe I should add bacon too, I heard that's good…oh great, and now I'm hungry."

"You're making me hungry too, and if I were a bossy guy, I'd send you into the kitchen where you belong to get me food," he joked.

"But because I'd be making my own sandwich, Snooks, I'd make yours too, that's how best friendships work, you give a little, I give a little, you take a little, I take a lot and everything that I've ever wanted," she said brightly.

"Yeah, that _is_ how our friendship seems to work."

"But how's your wrist, Snooks?" Stephanie asked, concerned as she picked up his cast to study it, like she had x-ray vision and could literally see his bones mending back together, merging once again."

"It would be better if a certain someone, I won't name names…you…had not taken up most of the space on it with your 'message,'" Chris told her and she gasped, mouth agape as she blinked a few times.

"I'm sorry Chris, but anyone would be so happy to have someone like me sign their cast," Stephanie said. "And I didn't take up that much space, you're just saying that."

"Stephers, you took up my entire forearm with a picture of yourself," Chris said, holding up his arm and pointing to the picture that Stephanie had drawn of herself with a little voice bubble saying, "My best friend is stupid and trips over tree roots while spying on me!"

"What! I think it's beautiful, it's like looking into a mirror," Stephanie said of her artwork, "And the message is a word of warning to everyone that you are stupid and you fall a lot, and it's also a reminder to you that you shouldn't spy on me, it works on so many levels that it's unbelievable. You better save that when you get it taken off."

"I'm not saving a cast, it's going to smell by the time I get it off."

"Then you can frame it, that there took me a long time, mister. The entire time we were at the hospital because they couldn't get a hold of your insurance company to cover you."

"And instead of saying that you were my boss and that you did cover things like this, you sat there and drew on my cast," Chris pointed out. "That wasn't being very helpful, Stephers."

"I'm not your boss _boss_," Stephanie said. "I just happen to have a higher position than you do in the company, entirely different thing is what I say, Snooks. I really think that you are crazy for getting mad at me when you know you look at your cast all the time just for _me_."

"No, I really don't, but it'll be nice to have a reminder of you when I go on my trip in a couple days, as soon as I secure a plane ticket," he told her.

Her face dropped a little bit as her eyebrows knitted. "What do you meant plane ticket? What do you mean trip? What do you mean nice reminder?"

"What do you mean you need to know all this information?" Chris asked as he smiled at her. "Come on, Stephers, you expect me to travel with you all this time while I'm injured and have nothing to do? You can't possibly think this is fun for me…"

"Well, I did expect you to travel," Stephanie told him. "I didn't think that you would be leaving me. You only have a broken wrist, we can right you into some backstage skits or something, or in-ring promos, whatever you want, Snooks, I mean, you don't have to leave."

"Do you think I'm leaving forever?" he asked with a scoff. "It's two weeks. I'm probably just going to go up and see my parents and some old friends, nothing special. I'm not going to North Pole to see Santa Clause, or the South Pole to see Clause Santa, Santa Clause's second cousin once removed. I'm just going to see my parents."

"You're going to see Mom and Dad without me!" she protested petulantly. "Why are you doing this? Are you mad at me?"

"Why would you think I was mad at you?" he laughed. "Stephers, I'm not punishing you."

"You might as well make me sit in the corner facing the wall with a dunce cap on my head," she pouted. "You know I love to go up to Canada, it makes me feel very Canadian and closer with my moose brethren."

"They're a hockey team, not an actual team of moose, Stephers."

"No, Snooks, the Manitoba Moose, are all moose, that's why they have the name," she winked. "Hold on, I thought of something…yeah, okay, give me five minutes and I'll break my wrist and then I'll have to take a couple weeks off and then we can both go. Now how should I do want something too messy, so jumping off the Titantron is probably a no go, oh, oh, oh, I can be inspecting the ring because someone said the ropes were too tight, and then I can fall off and break my wrist, it's brilliant, brilliant!"

"You're not going to go break your wrist, I'd run in there after you and I'd catch you before you fell, Stephers," he said, trying to dissuade her from coming along with him. The whole purpose was to get away from her, not bring her along. "Besides, your parents would never let you off work for no reason."

"My parents would be happy to let me get away," Stephanie said.

"These are _your_ parents we're talking about," he told her again.

"Okay, so they wouldn't be happy about it, but if I told them that I was going to keep an eye on you, make sure you didn't get yourself into trouble, then they'd have to let me go, they like when our talent doesn't get into trouble, so it'd be perfect."

"Just stay, Stephers, I know that a few days is tough without me. I know that you're going to wither away and wallow without me, eating your weight in waffles and ice cream, but you're going to have to live without me at some point."

"See, that's what I thought," Stephanie told him. "But then you ended up leaving your bride at the altar and it turns out that I didn't have to live without you at all, so I'm saying right now that I'm never going to have to live without you, so when are we going to Mom and Dad's?"

He looked at her and sighed. How could he say no to her? How could he ever say no to her? He didn't think that he was capable of doing it at this point, not when she had that bright smile on her face and the hope in her eyes. He didn't know how she would get out of work, but she always thought of something. He knew that she liked to be around his parents because it gave her at least some people who loved her for her. That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"I was going to go on Wednesday…"

"Great!"

* * *

"Eww, I feel so gross from the plane ride," Stephanie said, grabbing some of her hair and smelling it. "I swear, I thought that guy sneezed in it. He was so rude…and gross, and then that baby crying…"

"You weren't that fun to be around either so don't make fun of the babies," he scolded and she rolled her eyes.

"I still can't believe my family believed that bogus lie about going in for sinus surgery," Stephanie giggled. "But they bought it…wait, do you think that means they think my voice is nasally and there's something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with my voice, Snooks? Because if there's something wrong with my voice, I'm just going to get it switched with a robotic voice box."

"You know, they're doing wonders with voice boxes now, I bet that you can get one where you sound like a real person."

"And forgo the option of sounding like a robot?" she scoffed. "Excuse me, do you think that I'm going to turn down the opportunity to sound like a robot, people would fear me, I'd have control of the company in no time, nobody wants to mess with a monster-person hybrid."

"Okay, you've got me there," he said as he opened the door. "I'd want a robotic arm with a million different attachments, like one that could dispense hot chocolate or something, so long as it doesn't burn me."

"No, we can't both have robot parts, it doesn't work that way, Snooks, because one of us has to be the robot and the other the human buddy, come on," she scoffed as she stepped inside. "I feel like I smell, that's why I hate planes."

"You could always take a shower," Chris said. "That'll help you from smelling."

"You're a genius! Did you think of that one yourself? Next thing you'll be telling me there's such strange creations as sliced bread or some weird form of refrigeration that doesn't involve packing things in salt. What other wonders have I missed out on, Snooks?"

"Television…pasta makers…shoe horns…a toilet that automatically puts a cover on it…yeah, that's about it I think, just the most important ones," he nodded.

"I'm going to take a shower, tell Mom and Dad I'll be back after I don't smell."

"So you're going to be in the shower forever, Stephers?"

"Oh, ha ha, I get it, because I smell, right?"

"I didn't say that, but you and Oscar the Grouch…I'm sure you both smell like you've been in the garbage too long," he told her. She glared at him before going upstairs with her bag. He set his own duffel bag down on the ground and wandered around the house. "Mom, Dad!"

"Chris, are you here?" Loretta called from the kitchen, showing up in the doorway, wiping her hands on a paper towel. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"Maybe you need a hearing aid with all the stomping around that Stephanie does," he kidded as he hugged his mother in hello.

"Oh, where is she?" Loretta asked.

"She thought that she smelled from the plane ride so she's upstairs taking a shower. She didn't want to risk smelling around you and Dad so she'll be down after she's through," he said, then cleared his throat a little. "Actually, there was something I needed to tell you…and ask your help for…"

Loretta blinked, "You mean, my adult son who barely even wants to call and tell me he's alive wants to ask something of me? Well, I knew that you had changed since you dumped Trish at the altar, but this is definitely something completely new, I think I may need to sit."

"You probably will," he told her, thinking about what was bothering him. He put his hand on the small of his mom's back and led her into the kitchen where Ted was watching the little television that they kept in there. "Hey, Dad."

"Oh, hey Chris, we didn't hear you," he said as he stood up and gave his son a brief hug. "I'm just watching the news, you can never be too informed."

"Chris wants to tell us something, and it sounds important," Loretta said, turning off the television and sitting down next to her husband.

"Important enough to interrupt my news!"

"Yes," Chris said, sitting down with them and taking a deep breath. "Mom and Dad, there's something that I have to tell, you, and it's pretty important."

"You said that," Ted told him jokingly, but he wasn't laughing.

Ted and Loretta looked at each other, wondering what it was that Chris could tell them that would be so important that he had to sit them down. They thought perhaps it had to do with Trish, and what had happened at the wedding, but it had been a while since then, and they figured any speaking about it was over with. There didn't seem much more to say other than he had left and made a mistake wanting to get married in the first place.

"Well, what is it then?" Loretta asked.

Chris took a deep breath, "I'm in love with Stephanie."

"Oh my God, I knew it!" Loretta screamed. "_I knew it!_ Honey, this is wonderful news. Why didn't the two of you tell us together? You should've just told us together, and then we could've congratulated you both. Oh, are the two of you going to get married, you're going to get married, Stephanie's going to be my real daughter! I have to go talk to her!"

Loretta was out of her seat in a flash and Chris had to run to catch her before she tore upstairs, into the shower and started talking to Stephanie. Stephanie had no idea that he was in love with her, and since he had no clue how to go about wooing her, he didn't think his mother breaking the news was going to sit well. He pulled her around the waist just as she got to the doorway and she looked at him.

"Christopher, I'm not going to jump in the shower with her, I'll just wait until she's through, but this is wonderful news!"

"Mom, she doesn't know."

That stopped Loretta dead in her tracks, "What do you mean she doesn't know!"

"I mean…I don't know how to tell her. She isn't interested in me."

"How do you know, has she said this to you?"

"Well…no, but Mom, trust me, I know Stephanie better than you do, and she's not interested in me. When I broke my wrist, I didn't tell you that I was actually spying on Stephanie because she had a date that night. I didn't like the idea of her going out with some random guy and I followed her and fell…that's the truth…she was on a date."

"Did she end up with you at the end of the night?" she wondered.

"Well yeah, she drove me to the hospital," he said, not knowing why it was important, of course Stephanie would be the one to drive him, she was his best friend and she wouldn't just leave him in a park.

"And did she stay with you the entire time?"

"She was my ride, so yeah…"

"Chris, don't you see what I'm getting at, she cares about you."

"She's my best friend, Mom," Chris said, looking down as he let go of his mother and went back to sitting down. "And that's all she sees me. I mean, we kissed once--"

"You kissed!" Loretta gasped. "You actually kissed her, did you hear that, Ted, he kissed her, it was the night before the wedding, right? _That's_ why you couldn't marry Trish, I knew it, I knew something was going to happen, didn't I say that, Ted, didn't I say it was wrong of him to marry her?"

"She did say something, " Ted nodded.

"No, it wasn't…that wasn't…I mean," he stuttered. "No, we kissed while we were picking out something for her to wear to the wedding. She was so beautiful, I just…I kissed her and she kissed me back, but she said we should forget it so…I couldn't, and that's why I couldn't marry Trish. I'm in love with her, and I couldn't do that to her or to Trish."

"We've known this for so long," Loretta laughed. "We knew it, Chris, and we've been telling you for so long and did you listen to your parents, hmm?"

"No," he said, sighing. "But it doesn't matter. I just…I need to get over this. I was hoping to come up here by myself but she somehow weaseled her way into coming. I love her, and it's so hard because I don't want to lose her."

"It never hurts to try," Ted said. "Son, I think everyone knows that you two should be together, you just need her to see it. She cares about you, and you know what, I think you aren't giving her enough credit."

"What's everyone whispering about?" Stephanie said as she walked into the kitchen. "I didn't bother to dry my hair. I couldn't wait to see everyone, hey Mom, hey Dad, is Chris spreading rumors about me? Whatever he says, it's all lies! Lies, I say!"

"No, we were just discussing something about Chris's cousin," Loretta said, hugging Stephanie hello and looking at Chris pointedly over her shoulder. Chris groaned silently, suddenly regretting that he had told his parents at all.

Later that evening, Chris was really regretting the whole truthfulness to his parents. At dinner it had been all hints and goading on their part, and he had come to realize Stephanie was either really stupid or really oblivious, though he was leaning more towards oblivious. She didn't seem to pick up on anything they were saying and some of the comments were rather pointed, like his mother asking him if he thought Stephanie looked beautiful that evening. If he hadn't looked down, Stephanie would've seen him turn a fetching page of red. Instead, she had laughed and said that nobody could look good in a pair of holey sweats and an old t-shirt, yet she managed to.

They were watching a movie now, some old movie that had been on the television, _His Girl Friday_, it was called. It was a good movie, a guy and a girl are divorced and he's a newspaper editor and she used to work for him, and wacky hijinks ensue, until they realize they still love each other. Stephanie didn't seem to find it so engaging since she had fallen asleep about twenty minutes ago and her head was lolling on his shoulder, and he swore that he could feel drool seeping through his t-shirt. Not that he really minded, it was Stephanie and that made up for anything else.

He had not been watching for five more minutes when Stephanie let out a rather loud snort. He would've laughed if she hadn't fallen into his lap. No, scratch that, head first right into his crotch. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, but this was the last position he wanted her in. She didn't seem to realize she had fallen, and he cursed her for being a deep sleeper at right this moment. He tried to nudge her, but instead she nuzzled her head further against him.

"Shit, shit, shit," he said as she mumbled something in her sleep and settled herself against him.

He knew that he couldn't stay here all night, especially if she kept moving around down there. It was conjuring up images that would usually send him to a cold shower if he were around her. But there was no way he could get to a shower. He tapped her on the shoulder and she swatted his hand away sleepily, but still failed to move. He was just happy his parents had already gone to bed. If they walked in and saw Stephanie with her face in his lap, he didn't even want to imagine the horror on their faces, thinking they had walked in on something very bad.

"Stephers, wake up," he hissed. "Come on, wake up."

"Leave me alone," she growled, still not moving. "I'm sleeping, no candy!"

"No, no candy," he told her. "You're just…you're sleeping."

"Trying to," she mumbled, but then she said nothing, and he heard her snoring soon after. Chris tried to move her again, actually lifting her up, but she was dead weight and fought sleepily to get back to her position. She moved her hand up and rested it dangerously close to areas she shouldn't be touching right now and he groaned again. If she moved her hand about two inches to the left, her hand would be right on his…yes, he had to get her off of him right now.

"Stephers!"

"What!" she said, startled as she opened her eyes wide. She looked around and then turned and looked up and laughed. "Please tell me I'm not in your lap, Snooks."

"You're in my lap."

"Wow, I'm…sorry," she giggled, sitting up. "Your lap is very comfortable. I'm going to bed, later."

He took a deep breath as she left and calmed himself down. That could've been a very bad thing. He was glad to have the breathing room now. He hadn't had a moment's peace since he had gotten here. His parent's words floated through his head as he lay there. He couldn't just ask her out, could he? He couldn't just dive in…

"Stephers!"

"Yeah," she said, poking her head back inside.

"Um…do you want to..um…I guess what I'm…" he rubbed the back of his neck and swallowed hard before clearing his throat. "You know what, it can wait."

"Okay," she yawned. "Night."

"Yeah…night."

He was such a coward.


	8. Chapter 8

"I knew I was going to get sick."

"How did you know that? Oh my God, do you have a crystal ball, because if you do, I want one, did you steal the one from the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland!" Chris asked eagerly, rubbing his hands together.

Stephanie glared up at him, "No, the germs from the plane, they saw me and they thought I was so pretty that they decided to jump on me, and not you, it's not fair that I'm so much prettier than you are."

"I'm insulted," he told her, going to her bathroom. "Where do you keep your thermometer?"

"Why are you getting that?" she asked from her bed. "I don't know if I even have one, wait, no, I have a fake, plastic, novelty one from one of my old Halloween costumes, do you think that would work? It automatically measures your temperature to be like 500 degrees, that's pretty accurate, right?"

"Very, if we lived on Mercury or something," he said, sticking his head in the room, "You don't own one?"

"How should I know?" she asked.

"Because you would've bought it."

"How do you know that? How do you know that there aren't little secret shopper elves that get you all your essentials like toilet paper?"

"Do elves put in your toilet paper?"

"No, but they could if I didn't beat them to it," she told him, then off his look, "Honestly, I don't know if I have one, but I'm not feeling so good though." She laid her head back down. "I'm feeling kind of nauseous actually."

"I told you not to get that huge burrito at the airport, didn't I tell you that?" Chris asked as he rummaged through her things in the bathroom, which was kind of a mess, but that was Stephanie, she was just kind of messy. Another thing to love about her, she wasn't this neat, prim, proper businesswoman, she was carefree and she lived that way too.

"You told me that," she said weakly, all the energy she was exerting taking its toll on her. "Snooks, I'm not feeling so well."

He came into the room, and sat down on the bed, putting his hand to her forehead. "You feel a little warm, which is why I'm trying to find a thermometer. Since you don't already have one it seems, I'm going to totally punish you and get the one that you have to stick up your ass."

"I'm not showing you my ass," she told him, smiling vaguely, "so get your mind out of the gutter."

"I think I'm going to go buy one along with some things for you to eat, how's the throat, still hurting?"

"Yeah, that's the worst part, but I don't know if I chalk that up to the cold or if I chalk that up to me talking too much, what do you think, Snooks?"

"Definitely talking too much," he told her, "but don't worry, I'll get everything you need."

"You're going to stay with me, right?" she asked, "You're not going to go back to Florida and leave me here, right?"

She reached out and took his hand in hers. Her hand was a little cold and clammy, and he suspected she was feeling a lot worse than she was letting him see. She was so stubborn sometimes, even with something as simple as a common cold, she couldn't concede victory to the enemy. She never could. She gripped him tighter, holding onto him and tugging at his arm weakly. She was so beautiful in that moment it felt like he was physically hurt.

She needed him, and it had never felt so good to be so needed before. Sure, he had been there with her when she was sick before, he had taken care of her before, usually when she was down in Florida with him, but now it was different. Now, with these feelings surging inside of him, he couldn't help but think about how right this felt, how good it felt to be the one that she needed, the one she trusted to take care of her. It all just felt so right with her, all the time, so much so that he cursed all the time he wasted thinking that she could ever just be his friend.

He gave her a crooked smile, "I'm not going anywhere, what, you think I'm going to leave you here while you can barely get out of bed, what kind of cruel monster do you think I am? Frankenstein? Dracula? Your parents?"

She laughed a little at that, "I just wanted to make sure, and barely get out of bed? Who are you talking about, I can get out of bed? Do you think I'm just going to not going to bathroom and hold it for the rest of the time that I'm sick?"

"I would've gotten you a bottle or a bucket or something," he joked. "Don't worry, I wouldn't leave you, trust me. I'm just going to go to the store and get you some of the things that we're going to need to make you feel better, and food, because there's no food in here, and I kind of want to get food so that I don't starve and then when you finally come downstairs, all you see is this skeleton with cobwebs around it."

"I don't want you to dissolve into a skeleton, I doubt that you'd win a match with no skin, or muscles or…eyes, or everything," she told him. "Hurry back though, because I don't like to be sick by myself, I like to have someone basking in my misery with me."

"I'll be back, I promise," he told her. He started to get up, but it was like she didn't want to let go of his hand. He didn't really want to give up her hand either, despite the clamminess of it. It still had that warmth that he loved about her. Reluctantly though, he let it go and went downstairs to grab his keys and head for the store, taking Stephanie's car.

Driving alone afforded him time to think. His parents had kept pushing him and pushing him to ask Stephanie out while they were up in Canada, but he just couldn't do it under their scrutinizing eye. They made him nervous, and he couldn't ask her out now, he hadn't planned it out yet, he didn't even know how he'd go about that. Just asking her didn't seem the best way to go, but a grand gesture would surely be made fun of.

"Stephanie, I really like you," he started to himself, but then shook his head and sighed, "No, she'd hate that, Chris, and besides, you more than like her."

He pulled into the parking lot of the supermarket and pulled his sunglasses on to give him a little bit of privacy. The last thing he wanted right now was to have the fans recognize him when Stephanie was sitting at home by herself feeling sick. He grabbed a basket and briskly walked through the place, plucking items from the wall, never stopping to look at ingredients or materials or anything. He wanted to get in and out so he could get back home to Stephanie. He tried to keep the smile off his face when he thought that, he liked going home to Stephanie and it was like everything he did with her now was a new experience because he loved her as much more than a friend. He could only imagine how good it would be if they were ever to get together. He paid quickly and when he was in the car again, decided to try and reason what he'd tell her again.

"Stephanie, there's a really good reason why I didn't marry Trish, and it has to do with you…"

He thought about that for a minute. Could he make that kind of confession to her? For all Stephanie knew, the reason he didn't marry Trish was because he wasn't ready, when in fact, he just fell in love with someone else, someone who was her. She might laugh him out of the house if he started out like that. Stephanie just wasn't one for true romance or passionate confessions.

"Stephanie, I'm in love with you, go out with me," he said, trying to make his voice sound firm and powerful. Oh, who was he kidding with _that_ one? Stephanie never responded well to authority, and she would again, probably laugh in his face.

"Stephanie, I can't just be your friend anymore, there's just more to us than that," Chris said. "I love you, and I think I might have always loved you and I just didn't know it. Everything we've ever been to each other, I think we can be even more, I think we can be everything."

Before he knew it, he was sitting in her driveway and leaning his head against the steering wheel. Every second that he was with her, but not _with_ her was starting to feel like he was watching a 24-hour marathon of _Manos: The Hands of Fate_, possibly the worst movie of all-time. He knew he couldn't go on much longer without letting out this pent-up feeling, he just hoped it didn't manifest itself in him hiring a sky-writer or something to confess his love to her.

He brought the things inside and went about putting them away when Stephanie poked her head into the room. Chris held out the thermometer and she obediently stuck it in her mouth as she sat at the counter. She was just too tired and feeling too sick to be her usual self. They both waited for the beep to tell them the prognosis, and she had a fever of a 100.5, and Chris pointed upstairs and she gave him a petulant look.

"Snooks, I don't want to go back upstairs, it's boring upstairs, and I don't want to walk upstairs."

"Stephers, you'll feel better if you're upstairs, if you stay down here, you're going to feel worse."

"How do you know that?" she asked.

"Think about it, what's upstairs, a bed, a pillow, a blanket, what's down here, nothing, that's what, nothing."

"What about the guest bedroom down here, I could go in there, there's a bed, a pillow…"

"Yeah, but that place is like a haunted house, you never clean in there, and there's cobwebs, and I wouldn't be surprised if there was something living in there, a family of spiders or something, second generation, you know, since you never open that room up."

"I can't help it if I have no friends who want to come over and spend the night, I'm just the saddest person in the world," she said before coughing loudly. "Snooks, what is the temperature inside this house, did I set it to Sun or something, it's so hot."

"Because you have a fever, Stephers, come on, did you lose your common sense when your temperature went up? It's kind of like The Hulk, whenever he'd get angry, it was like he'd lose all his vocabulary and something, he was all like, 'Hulk, smash.'"

He looked over at her and she was laying her head down on the counter, not even on her hands or anything and he imagined she was enjoying the cool feeling of the tile. He went over to her and brushed her hair back and she groaned lightly, like she was in pain or something. He sat down next to her and watched her for a moment. She was breathing through her mouth since her nose was stuffed up and her eyes were closed.

"Stephers? Come on, let's go upstairs," he whispered to her.

"No…can't…" she mumbled, not making any attempt to move.

"Stephers, you're not going to get any sleep down here."

"The room is spinning, I feel dizzy," she told him. "I don't want to move."

Chris sighed and stood up, taking her into his arms and carrying her upstairs. She wrapped her arms around his neck loosely holding onto him as he walked up the flight of stairs to her room. She gave him a weak smile. He brushed her hair back again so it was out of her face, pulling the hair-tie out of his own hair and tying her hair back and away from her face so that it wouldn't stick to her while she was sleeping. He went to get up and go watch TV downstairs and let her sleep when her hand came over his arm.

"Snooks…"

"What is it, Stephers? Do you need something?" Chris asked her, running his hand over her cheek tenderly. He hated to see her sick because it made her not the Stephanie that he loved, she was so much more subdued when she was sick and he just didn't like to see it at all.

"Stay with me," she said, her voice trailing off.

"You're sick, Stephers," he told her, "I'm just going to let you sleep, okay? You'll feel better if you get a little bit of sleep, hopefully your fever will break while you're sleeping."

"No, stay," she whined, "stay, I don't want to be alone."

"Why?"

"The monsters might get me," she told him, and he wondered if she was delusional or if she was just being her usual self. "They're going to get me and eat me."

"The monsters aren't going to get you," he chuckled, "come on, Stephers, just go to sleep, you're going to make yourself worse."

"Please, stay," she pleaded, tugging him towards the bed.

He finally gave in, even though he knew that he wasn't in a place where he could share a bed with her right now. While in Canada, he had made sure that she stayed in her own room at nights, and as he fell deeper and deeper in love with her, it was more volatile for him, trying to keep away from her, trying not to show her the depth of his feelings. He crawled over her legs and got into bed next to her. He was thankful that he was only in sweats and not in jeans or something. He laid down on his back, resting his arm underneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling.

She scooted over to him and laid her head down on his chest, "Thank you," she whispered as she snuggled into his body, "you're so nice and cool, like an ice cream sandwich with cookie bits in it."

"Thanks, you're warm like a chicken pot pie," he returned and she laughed airily. He laid there, trying not to think of how right this felt, when he felt her breathing even out and he reached down wit his free hand to massage her scalp, hoping that it would help her head. She was asleep though so she made no motion to tell him if it helped or not, so he just kept rubbing her scalp.

She unconsciously snuggled in deeper, moaning a little. He sighed, wondering if he would ever have this woman in the way that he wanted. He didn't know if he would, and that's what held him back. He didn't know if he was ever going to have her as the woman in his life, the only woman in his life. It hurt him a little to think that, but he and Stephanie had been in the friend zone for so long that crossing over might never happen. They were in too deep, and they may never dig their way out of that. He didn't even know if he'd be content to stay her friend if he couldn't have her.

"You're beautiful, you know that," Chris told her, though he knew she couldn't hear her. He was kind of glad for that. He wasn't sure he was ready to make any kind of confession to her right now. "You're so beautiful and sometimes I think you're so unattainable, and it's frustrating, Stephers. I don't know how to change to be someone you'd want, but I'm going to try, okay, because I believe that we'd be so good together, I just…" He sighed and looked down at her head where she was sleeping her fever away.

"I just kind of wish you felt the same way."


	9. Chapter 9

_I think I can, I think I can…_

Chris had had enough.

There was no other way to put it but that way. He had had enough of this waffling around. He wasn't a waffle, he didn't go in a toaster, and he wasn't doused in butter and maple syrup. He was a man, damn it, and a man did not hide behind a friendship that he found he never wanted. No, a man went out there and he did what he had to do to get the woman he loved. That's what Chris was going to do. He was the little engine that could.

_I think I can, I think I can…_

Okay, so he actually had to get off his ass to do it, but a man needed time to prepare. He wasn't going to go into this half-assed, and then say something stupid like he wanted her to go out and do his laundry with him. No, he needed time to think and prepare, maybe do a little jig to get all this extra energy out of his system. A jig didn't sound half bad right now, neither did downing a shot of tequila, but he wasn't going to do either one.

He ran a hand over his face, trying to calm his nerves. It felt like every single nerve in his body was pulsating and making him shake like a leaf. He hadn't even been this nervous when he had his first match way back in the day when he was a young man with a penchant for fringe and a mullet to be proud of. But back then it didn't have the potential to change his entire life. Stephanie was bigger than wrestling, not in the literal sense, she was curvy sure, but just the right amount of curvy. She was bigger in this sense that her presence in his life was bigger, she was the best thing in her life, by far.

When he had helped her while she was sick, it had just cemented his feelings even more and he knew what he had to do. He was tired of sitting there, confessing his feeling to her sleeping form when he could possibly have her in her waking form loving him back. Was it too much to ask for some courage here? Maybe he should've gone to see The Wizard or something, anything to give him courage, and not find out that he had courage in him all along, that would be a stupid lesson to learn.

_Maybe I can, maybe I can…_

What was the worst that could happen anyways? She could say no, laugh at him, humiliate him, but he had decided that it would be worth it either way, even if she laughed in his face. And do you know why? Because he would've tried. A long time ago, he figured that trying with Trish, at least asking her out and getting rejected at first was something. He had tried his best and it hadn't worked out. Of course, in that case, Trish had come around and he had gotten engaged to her before leaving her at the altar, but Stephanie was different, if he tried with her, he would've accomplished more because he loved Stephanie in a way he had never loved Trish.

If he tried, he could at least live with the knowledge that he wasn't a coward. If she said no, maybe he could salvage their friendship. Then he thought about if he went back to being friends with her after her rejection. He wouldn't be able to see her with another man…well…ever. No, his heart would be through the ringer, but at least he would've tried, right? Now his idea was sounding worse. If she rejected him, then he'd have to see her with other guys, and know that Stephanie had chosen the other guy over her, because he would've confessed everything. That didn't sound like an appealing option.

_Maybe I can't, maybe I can't…_

But still, this was Stephanie. Wasn't that all he needed to know? He had stayed by her bedside while she was sick. He had watched all her dumb home movies and laughed at the bowl cut she had when she was a little girl. He had spent many nights with her, many days with her, but he wanted more, he _needed_ more. It was getting to the point where their friendship just wasn't enough, and he never wanted to be upset in his relationship with Stephanie, he never wanted to resent her. That was the last thing that he ever wanted to do, but it could happen. He was very aware that it could happen.

He could wake up tomorrow and she could be with someone and he would regret every moment, he would resent her for getting with someone, and their friendship would fall apart. It was all so very easy, and he never wanted that to happen, not with him and Stephanie. She was the one constant in his life, even when wrestling got to be a drag sometimes, Stephanie was always there, always the bright spot in any dreary day. He couldn't resent her or hate her, he just couldn't let it get to that.

"Hey man, someone told me to tell you that you had the top of the show tonight," Lance Storm said as he walked into Chris's locker room without knocking, "What the hell's the matter with you?"

"What? What do you mean what's the matter? Is it against the law to sit down in this state? I didn't know that, maybe I should get up."

Lance rolled his eyes, "I like you much better when you tone down the sarcasm."

"Sorry, I'm on edge," he said, running his hand over his mouth to try and calm his nerves.

"Because you have the top of the show, I realize this is new territory for you," Lance droned, his own version of a joke, but Chris wasn't laughing, not like Lance expected him to or anything.

"No, because of…life."

"Because you left that broad at the altar."

"She has a name."

"I know, I'm trying to lighten the situation," Lance said, "oh come on, that was funny, I know it was…I'm not trying to make light of the situation with Trish as in leaving her at the altar, just you know…why the hell am I trying to justify it to you?"

"I don't know and it's nothing to do with Trish. That thing is long gone," he said.

"Tell that to her."

"Why? What's going on with her?" he asked, honestly not knowing. It was the whole "out of sight, out of mind" mentality with Trish. The second that she was out of his life, it was like he had forgotten about her, as heartless as that seemed. He just couldn't get it in him to really care anymore. He had no more attachments to her.

"She's just been guarded," Lance shrugged, "No big deal, so what's got you so upset then? And don't tell me that Stephanie froze all your underwear again because I didn't want to hear about that first time it happened…even though you did deserve it."

"Did not!" he exclaimed. "The whole thing with her underwear was an accident!"

"Of course it was…wait…this is about Stephanie," Lance said, observing his friend. "Oh man, no…did you two sleep together?"

"What? No," Chris said, shaking his head. "I've never even slept with her, why do people always assume that we have?"

"I don't know, the whole 'attached at the hip' thing maybe."

"We're best friends…"

"You want more, don't you?"

"What?"

"Jericho, I've known you for like…over ten years, I think I can tell when you like someone and when you don't, and the vibe I'm getting here is that you want to take what you have with Stephanie past the whole friendship thing, but she doesn't."

"She doesn't know," he said, confessing. It was nice to get it out to someone other than his parents.

"Oh, and you're scared to tell her because it'll ruin your friendship, that kind of thing."

"Um…duh," Chris said. "Haven't you seen any good romantic comedies with your wife? That's how they all work out."

"And then they got together in the end, so talk to her instead of sitting here like a jackass."

"You have a way with words, Lance," Chris said drolly.

"At least I don't speak at 700 words per minute, just make sure you're out there on time."

"Yeah, whatever, the show doesn't even start for another half an hour."

"I'm just the messenger," Lance said as he left.

Chris was only there for a few more minutes alone before Stephanie burst into his locker room like the lightning bolt that she was. Her words were coming so fast they were blurring together. "So, you will not believe this, my _mom_, the robot, the droid who hates me, and wishes that I had been switched at birth is trying to set me up with someone! And I was all like, what species is he because I'm not into interspecies dating? He's…an investment banker. Talk about dullsville, he's probably the mayor of it. I think he's like, the son of one of my mom's friend, and this is her way of marrying me off so she never has to deal with me ever again. It's like, what's my dowry? Are you exchanging a cow for me? Some fine-woven silks?"

"So you're not going out with him?" Chris asked, the worry pitting in his stomach.

"Um…yeah, I will, and not even when pigs fly, but when pigs turn blue, then sprout wings, then fly into the seventh circle of hell where my parents vacation in the winter," she told him rolling her eyes, "Snooks, did you not hear the part about the investment banker?"

"I heard, I'm glad you won't be the investment banker's wife."

"Wow, what a title," she cringed. "So," she said, sitting herself down next to him, "tell me all about your night, Snooks. What have you been doing in the oh…seventeen minutes since I last saw you?"

It was now or never.

"Stephers, do you want to go out to dinner with me tonight?" Chris asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. His parents had told him to just go for it, and while he didn't want to just plunge in like he was going skinny-dipping in the Arctic, he did want to do something about it.

"Oh my God, you read my mind! I am so hungry right now, I could probably eat your arm. I wouldn't eat my arm, as the saying goes, because I like my arm, and it's pretty, and well, you don't need your arm, so if you want to keep your arm, dinner would seem a nice choice."

"So yes then?"

"In the entire time you've known me, have I ever turned down a meal? Unless I was you know, puking it up into a toilet and was physically unable to because my stomach would've jumped up to my throat in order to tell me to quit with the food."

"Ok, then after the show?"

"Sure," she smiled. "Should we invite people? Maybe we should get some people together. I haven't talked to Davey in forever! I miss him, let's invite Davey and everyone, it'll be so much fun."

"Actually Stephers, um," Chris said, sitting down next to her. "I just kind of wanted it to be you and me, alone together."

"But where's the fun in that Snooks? I mean, I have no problem with being alone with you, but doesn't a party sound fun? And then we can go back to the hotel and we can just party all night long and booze it up, and then I'll wake up in the morning with a lampshade on my head, and you'll be wearing a dress…again," she giggled.

"I was thinking that this could be like…a date," Chris said slowly, trying not to look at Stephanie. This turned out to be good, because Stephanie's jaw dropped farther than it had ever dropped before. She shook her head and stared at him.

"A date? Um…Snooks, I think that you're mixing me up with every other female on the planet," she chuckled nervously. "There is no freaking way that you just asked me out on a date. I must've gone temporarily insane. Or maybe I was projecting your voice in my head, and my mind was playing a joke on me. Cause this is a joke right? Or a surprise party. Is this for a surprise party!"

"No, it's not Stephers. I know that it sounds crazy, but why don't we just try it out and see."

"Where's the joke?" Stephanie said. "I mean, there's a joke. You're going to reveal I'm on Candid Camera, right? Like this is a practical joke, right? Snooks?"

"It's not a joke," he said, rubbing the back of his neck again "Look, I just…one date, you know, to see."

"Oh wait, you want to do one of those? You know where the best friends sleep together or have sex, or whatever, to see if there's more feelings. You just aren't willing to go the fully monty so you want to take me out to dinner, yeah, it'd probably be cheaper than the sex."

"Stephers…look, I like you, and I like you…well, more than a friend, I think, so I was wondering if you would want to go out on a date with me, and I'm being serious here," Chris said, knowing that he had to lay it all out there or else she'd never understand and she would never think of this the same way that she did. He didn't want to trick her into a date, so he just had to be straightforward with it. All the chips were in.

"Well, I like you too, Snooks, but that doesn't mean that I want to go on a date, date, I don't think you know what you're talking about, I think that you're thinking silly things. You _are_ joking with me, okay, yeah, a date, I'll go on a date with you, Snooks," she said in a silly voice. "Should I wear a corsage?"

"I'm not joking," he said seriously, and this time, she knew he meant business.

"Wow…oh…is this because of the kiss?" she asked, her voice losing all pretenses. "Because I thought we cleared that up, Snooks. We decided that you were looking for a way out, it wasn't because you loved me, we decided this, Snooks." She looked a little peeked right now and he didn't know how to fix it.

"It's not because of the kiss, it's because of the way that I feel, Stephers, that's it."

"So you want to take me out…as in a date? As in pay for me, flirt with me, try to get a kiss at the end before I slap the hell out of you kind of thing? That's what you're talking about?"

"Well yeah, minus the slapping part," he said, trying to give her his best smile. "I know that this is abrupt…"

"You think? I mean, I think I've seen pianos falling out of the sky that were more predictable than this. I don't know what to say, Snooks, this is really out of the blue."

"Please, just say yes." He didn't have to wait for his answer long, in fact, it was a fraction of a second.

"Yes."


	10. Chapter 10

What do you wear to a date with your best friend?

This was the question that Stephanie was struggling with at the current moment. She frowned as she surveyed her closet. Normally, this would be easy, she'd have Chris here to tell her what to wear or what not to wear because he wasn't going to let her put out that evening. But he wasn't here, he was...getting ready too...because he was going out...with her.

She was still trying to think this entire thing through, but it wasn't like one of the plots from the sitcoms she loved to make fun of. This was not linear thinking here, there was no funny mishap and she and Chris weren't going to stumble among art thieves and somehow stymie their evil plan to steal the Mona Lisa or some other priceless work of art. No, they were going out to dinner, something they had done a million times before, but now...now they were on a date.

Did that mean they were dating?

Her eyes widened at that thought, date Chris, that just didn't make sense to her. But then again a lot of things weren't making perfect sense to her at the moment. For instance, she didn't even know that Chris's feelings had changed. Shouldn't she know that? Shouldn't she have been the first one to suspect that something was up? She was his best friend after all, she should be the first one to know when something was bothering him or when he had something on his mind.

She gasped a little bit as she realized that Chris had called off his wedding. What if he had called off his wedding because of _her_? That thought actually sobered Stephanie, and if she had been actually drunk, she probably would've thrown up from the realization, that's how sobering it was. If Chris had called off his wedding for her, then it was more serious than she thought. Not to mention all the pressure that put on her. Did Chris love her? Well, as a friend, yes, she was sure of that, but more...oh God, what if he was in love with her, and she was really just the last person to know? What if everyone knew and then she'd be expected to return his feelings.

She bit her lip at that and decided that concentrating on the task at hand would be the most productive. She flopped onto her bed and then sighed as Sam climbed onto the bed with her. "Thank God you're here for me, Sammy boy, or else I think I'd be going crazy."

Sam nuzzled his nose against Stephanie and laid his hand on her arm. She rubbed his head and turned to look at him, "You know, this is crazy, this entire thing, I mean, me and Snooks, it's like...I don't know, anchovies and ice cream, stupid, right?"

Sam snuffled and then climbed off and she frowned, she guessed he was tired of listening to his problems. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes. She didn't really want to go out with Chris the way that he wanted to go out, but he had sounded so desperate that she felt compelled to say yes. It was like when the nerdiest guy in school asks out the head cheerleader, except they usually turned the nerdy guy down, and she hadn't, so maybe she wasn't the head cheerleader, maybe she was the sympathetic popular girl, the one who doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the group and eventually breaks off to be her own person.

She groaned and looked at the door , damn him for staying in her house so she couldn't scream and throw things. For the first time in a long time, she had actually locked the door which she never did. Even if she were changing, she would just shut it a little bit and then change behind the door or in the bathroom. She was actually afraid of what was beyond that door. She had had her boyfriends, sure, but never had they been...Chris. She wasn't even sure that she wanted it to be Chris at all. Her brain was totally jumbled up and she couldn't decipher anything, it was like in those books where you're supposed to find out the secret message using some sort of code, oh, or like in the newspaper how they had the puzzler, and each letter was a substitute for another letter and you were supposed to figure out which letter was a replacement for another letter. The letters were all different in her brain, and she wasn't figuring it out at all.

She finally got up off the bed and picked one of her nicer outfits. She didn't even know where Chris was going to take her. All he had said was to be prepared for dinner, and that he had a place in mind, but it wasn't fancy or anything. Of course it wasn't fancy, she realized, Chris knew what she had. So he wouldn't have picked a place that was fancy because she had nothing to wear that could be considered fancy since she hadn't gone shopping at all since he had only asked her hours before and she usually liked a new outfit for a first date. She smiled a little at that; that was convenient, to have someone to go out with who knew exactly what you had so that you didn't have to think about anything. Okay, so that was one perk, but it was just one, and she wasn't going to think of any of the other perks.

She settled on a black blouse with a white skirt. It wasn't flouncy and it wasn't fancy, but it was nice, and she figured if Chris really wanted to do this, and if she actually considered this a date, she wanted to look nice, Chris or not. She went into the bathroom and observed herself, seeing if she needed to touch up her make-up. She looked at herself and tried to determine if she looked okay or not. It was strange because Chris had seen her at her worst, he had seen her when she had the stomach flu and was throwing up everywhere. He had seen her in every possible situation, so how could she possibly think that she was going to make up her face and be pretty when he knew all about her.

That's where it was starting to get complicated. Chris knew her, he really _knew_ her, so how could she possibly play any of her tricks if he knew all of her tricks to begin with? She took a deep breath and touched up her lip gloss before flipping her hair forward and then back to gain a little volume to it. If Chris really wanted a date with her, why didn't he just plan to stay in? That was what they should've done, that way it would've been more comfortable and she wasn't expected to perform in any way.

She figured she was ready and then sat on her bed, like she was waiting for her own execution. Usually she was excited to go on a date because it meant free food and hopefully a good time. But she was dreading this. She was dreading this because she was friends with Chris, best friends, and it wasn't supposed to be like this. Finally, the doorbell rang and she got up mechanically to go downstairs and answer it.

Then there he was, in...date wear. Since this was an honest-to-God date, he had changed in Lance's room at his hotel so he could come pick her up. He was wearing his nice pants, the ones they had bought just two weeks before, and the blue shirt that she told him brought out his eyes. Dear God, they were _in_ each other's lives, how in the hell could they date? They had _nothing_ to talk about at all because they had said everything there was to say. She looked down to his hands and she expected to see the requisite bouquet, but instead, he had brought her a pack of Red Vines.

"These are for you," he said, thrusting them at her like they were actually flowers. She took them and he leaned in and she backed up quickly.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing?" she asked quickly.

"I was going to kiss your cheek in hello," he told her as he turned a rather fetching shade of pink, "but yeah, hey, you look great."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Is that the top you bought in Denver?"

"Yeah," she said, looking down at it. Yup, nothing to talk about, he knew it all already.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah," she said, setting the Red Vines down on the table next to the door, "I already fed Sammy, and he has water, so you know..."

"Cool, see ya, Sammy," Chris said as Sam looked up at him, tail wagging. Even her dog knew him. He waited for her to lock her front door before they turned to the walkway.

"So where are we going?" she asked as they meandered down the walkway.

"Oh, it's this seafood place that I had heard about, you know, it's the coast and everything, why not try some seafood?" he said. "It's not like we're in Nebraska and asking about the fresh fish, right, because it wouldn't be fresh, and it would be gross."

"Yeah, I agree," she told him, "but yeah, seafood sounds good right now, nothing like catching your own food from the ocean, like a big man."

"We're not actually going fishing though, Stephers," he told her. She was keenly aware as he slipped his hand into hers. She felt herself tense and she knew that Chris had probably felt it too. She turned to her right and took a deep breath to calm herself down and relax so she wouldn't embarrass Chris.

"Oh, that's too bad, I was hoping to try that Rowan Martin fishing pole that you can shoot like a gun. What if you were to just...I don't know, shoot it at the fish, I think that would be kind of mean."

"Well, I'm sure that they don't use that, or you can just not get fish and get shrimp or something," he told her.

"True, true," she said as they got to the end of the walkway, and it was like they were frozen for a moment. "Are we taking your car or mine?"

"Mine," he told her. "I'll drive. I printed out directions."

"Always thinking ahead," she said lamely.

"Well, I don't think that this would be a fun time if we got lost."

"What have I always told you, Snooks? As long as you know how to get to the freeway, you're never lost," she told him, and now they felt like just a couple of friends going out for dinner because they were friends and nothing more.

They got to his car finally and he opened her door for her again. She gave him a tentative smile before climbing inside. He jogged around the car and got inside himself, starting up the engine and turning up his music. If she were really a date, he would've asked if she minded if he turned on his music, wouldn't he? That was kind of rude, she noted. But then she reached out and turned it down, rolling her eyes.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. Sometimes she just really hated his music.

"It's okay," she said as she stared out the window.

"So uh...I'm not entirely sure how to go about this whole thing," he told her. "I mean, I know how to go on a date, I've gone on plenty, I just don't know how to go on a date with you."

"Well, it was your idea," she pointed out. "It wasn't like I was the one who had this sudden urge to develop amnesia and forget that we were best friends."

He ran a hand through his hair and looked at her, "I'm just wondering if we should pretend like we don't know each other or what. I usually spend the first date getting to know the other person, but you probably know what underwear I'm wearing right now so it kind of makes it weird to talk about...well, about us because I know you."

"I know you too," she told him.

"Yeah, so pretending, I mean, we're not playing make-believe where I'm the daddy and your the mommy and Sammy is the baby, so you know, I guess we just go out like usual."

"Except it's not usual," she pointed out. "_This_ is not usual, Snooks, I don't feel comfortable."

"Well, we're new at this," he told her as he continued to drive. "Don't you think it's supposed to feel weird, Stephers?"

"It wouldn't have if we were just going out as friends, until you practically forced me to accept your proposal. I thought that we were just going to dinner, I thought we were best friends, but right now I don't know what the hell we are."

"I like you, okay," he told her, "I just thought that maybe we could go out on one date to see how it went, it's not like we're getting married."

"Did you not get married because of me?" she asked point blank.

"Whoa, where did that come from?"

"Well, I don't know where thoughts come from, but I was doing some thinking and you didn't show up at your wedding and then you're asking me out, and I may not have a doctorate or anything, but I did have connect-the-dot books when I was younger, and I knew how to do them, so I knew to connect the dots, did you call off your wedding because of me?"

"I can't answer that."

"It's not cheating if you're not looking on someone else's paper," she informed him. "I just want to know if all of that was because of me."

"I don't know! Okay, I don't know, I just knew that marrying her would be a mistake!" he told her, raising his voice and she simmered in her seat. That was a lie and he knew it. It _was_ because of her that he called off his wedding, but he couldn't just tell her that. She was already irate and this was already a really bad beginning to their date. Maybe he should've seen this coming, she sure did.

"I know," she said quietly, calming down, "I shouldn't question your motives, I'm not a detective and you're not hooked up to a lie-detector, even though you can beat the lie-detector test if you know how to, you just stay calm."

"You really do look nice, you know."

"I didn't have time to shop after the house show earlier," she told him. "So I just picked something that I thought would be nice and not too dressy, but still dressy, I mean, you know how I like to dress on dates, and I like to look nice, and I usually like to have a new outfit, I mean, you know, right, I'm stupid, of course you know."

"Yeah...so did you do anything to calm your nerves?" he asked, knowing that was almost a ritual.

"Nope," she told him. "I didn't think I had to, it's not like I was completely nervous, because I know you like me, and you know everything about me so there isn't going to be the awkward moment when I start scarfing down my food and you look at me like I'm crazy."

"No, as long as you don't look at me weirdly when I start building the food village," he said, glancing at her.

"Well, you have to keep the villagers safe from the volcano," she told him as they turned into the parking lot. "Hey, wait a second...this is my favorite restaurant."

"You think that for our first date I'd take you to somewhere that wasn't your favorite restaurant?" he asked incredulously, "Stephers, I know your tastes, so I figured, why not come to your favorite place."

"Thanks," she said, giving him a small smile. "At least you aren't like a normal first date, and then you take me to something disgusting like Mediterranean food, I can't stand that stuff, so this is good, very good."

"Great," he said, feeling like maybe this evening could be good.

They were seated by the familiar staff, who by this time knew who they were. They got their favorite table and ordered their favorite food and it was almost like they weren't on a date, but were just having dinner like normal friends. Stephanie could almost believe that until she saw the way that Chris was looking at her. It made her really uncomfortable because she had never seen him look that way at her. She vaguely recalled that he had once looked at Trish this way, and that was a little unnerving.

"Um...so..."

She looked at him and gave him an awkward smile, "So..."

"House show was okay, don't you think?"

"Yeah, it ran smoothly on my end," she told him. "Your match looked good."

"Good, good," he said, looking down at his water, watching the droplets run down the side of the glass, "I'm really glad that you agreed to come tonight."

"Yeah, I could use a good meal, I'm too thin, that's what Mom says," Stephanie nodded, thinking about how she even thought of his parents as her own. "I don't think I am, but...well, you know that."

"Yeah," he said, never thinking that he would have nothing to say to Stephanie, but that was the situation that he found himself in right now. There was a tension rising between them that seemed almost...alive. He couldn't quite explain it, but this was going very badly.

"You know everything about me," Stephanie shrugged, "not a lot of mystery."

"Did you talk to your parents...oh wait, yeah, your mom wanted to set you up, right?"

"Investment banker," she responded, thinking about how at this point, maybe that wasn't such a bad idea...unless she was now dating Chris, was she dating Chris?

"That would've been funny to see, you and an investment banker, what would you talk about?"

"Banking," Stephanie said, then winced at how lame that was. "I mean, I wouldn't go out with him anyways, my mom is just being my mom, completely controlling."

"Yeah, I know."

"Of course, this is about the point where I'd ask about your parents," Stephanie said, "but...well, I consider them my parents, and the last time you saw them, I saw them, so...there goes that talking point."

"I wish I had written down topics on index cards," Chris chuckled nervously as their chips and salsa finally showed up. "Hey, at least you don't have to get food for me since I'm here."

"Oh yeah, no one to rant to at the end of the date, that's no fun," she said in a little bit of a pout. She usually went to Chris after a date to dish about it to him, and to assure him that she hadn't put out. Her eyes widened and she choked on her water a little as she thought about whether or not Chris wanted her to put out.

"Stephers, are you okay?"

She swallowed hard and tried to erase the image of her and Chris having sex from her mind. If he didn't like her putting out on the first date with other guys, there was no way he'd expect that from her tonight, right? Eww, the thought was not one she wanted to think about anymore. She nodded weakly and gave him her best smile, which ended up looking like a grimace, "Went down the wrong pipe, not that we actually have pipes, because we don't, we have this flap of skin that makes sure that we don't get like, food in our lungs."

"Interesting," he said, taking another sip of his own water. This was going very badly. "So any good storylines or anything going to happen?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted, "I have a meeting tomorrow about that, I could tell you what you're doing afterwards."

"Awesome, perks of being the best friend to one of the writers," he joked, but it hardly sounded like the usual joke that he would make with Stephanie.

"So uh...I heard you were getting new ring tights." Oh Lord, they were talking about ring tights!

"Yeah, new design, which is cool, I guess because I'm turning heel again."

"Yeah, I like you as a heel, it suits you," Stephanie told him. "You play both well, the fans always love you either way. They still cheer you."

"Good thing, right, I'd hate to be a jobber, not that your parents like putting me up at the top."

"I do have to fight to keep you there."

"Thanks for that."

"Sure."

Mercifully, their food came and they ate silently, the tension getting thicker and thicker by the second. Stephanie was just feeling so uncomfortable right now, in this situation with Chris. She didn't want to go on a date with him, why did he have to change everything? He was making everything change and she didn't like change, she didn't like this...whatever this was becoming. Chris couldn't like her that way, he looked like he was as bored as she was.

When their food was taken away, Stephanie leaned on the table, her hands folded in front of her, "Snooks, I'm having a terrible time, I think this is the worst date I've ever been on, and I've been on bad ones, why did you have change everything?"

"What?"

"Everything!" she hissed. "You had to go and change everything. I was happy with where we were, I was happy with you as my best friend and you had to go and change everything! You had to change and...I don't know what's going on, or where we're at, or where _you're_ at, and it's weird, Snooks, this entire thing is weird and I hate it."

"Stephers, just give it a chance, a real chance," he pleaded.

"No, I don't want to change, you don't even act like you like me or anything," she said. "You're just as bored as I am, you're not having fun, I know this because I know _you_. I know you, Snooks."

"Okay, so this isn't the best date--"

"Isn't the best date?" she scoffed. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me? I think watching paint dry is more exciting than this, or watching the chocolate melt off a candy bar is more exciting. You had to change everything, and for what...nothing! Nothing!"

"Stephers..."

"I'll be waiting in the car, I want you to take me home after you pay."

"But Stephers..."

"No Snooks, I don't want to do this anymore."

And he was left alone with a check and a broken heart.


	11. Chapter 11

Chris took her home, per her request. The ride home was the most quiet the two of them had ever been in their entire friendship. There was no laughing, or joking, or making completely obscure references that only the two of them understood. There was just a stony silence, so deafening that it threatened to block out all sound forever. Stephanie simply stared out the window and Chris drove, opening his mouth to speak a few times, and then closing it, finding he didn't know what to say to her.

When they got back to Stephanie's house, they both got out and walked up to the house. Stephanie left the door open for him as she walked inside and then straight upstairs. Chris was just into the foyer when he heard her door slam shut. He looked down and realized now that he could've ruined their entire friendship. Things could never go back to the way they were, not when she knew exactly how much he liked her, and the line had been crossed from friend to more by him, but not by her.

He trudged upstairs and into his room. Usually, she would be there, hanging out, laying on the bed, or getting cookies from downstairs so they could watch television. Then they would fall asleep, side by side, and complain in the morning about the weird positions they happened to fall asleep in. But that wouldn't happen tonight, so he just sat down on his bed, and put his head in his hands.

He had ruined everything, ruined the one constant in his life. He had taken the only person that mattered to him, and drove her away. It almost would've been better to be in a loveless marriage with Trish than to endure a lifetime of loving Stephanie, without her ever reciprocating. He was a fool for ever pursuing her, a stupid fool who couldn't read people. If he could've read Stephanie, he would have seen that she wasn't interested in him.

He got undressed slowly, wanting to burn the clothes that he was in because they were what he wore tonight, and they would forever be burned in his memory, like Stephanie's rejection of him. He didn't know that things could hurt this bad. Stephanie had never made him hurt before, not like this, and he didn't even know that he could hurt so much, over something that in the long run, might turn out to be so simple.

He lay in bed, stupidly enough wishing that Stephanie would show up with cookies, or cake, or some other sweet that they could indulge in, and forget about anything that happened tonight. It wouldn't happen, but he wanted to forget pretty badly. It wasn't like he hadn't been rejected before, he had been, just never…had it meant so much to him. He had tried his hardest, and it was for nothing.

He thought to a future where Stephanie wasn't there. It was like a barren existence. It was like that episode of The Twilight Zone where prisoners were sent to other planets to live by themselves. He would be living on a planet by himself and the loneliness he felt in that moment was horrible. He had ruined everything. He had lost his best friend and he was never going to get her back in the same way. Damn him and his stupidity.

Yet, it had to be let out. It had to be said because if he never said anything, and she ended up with someone else, then he would've regretted it for the rest of his life. Yes, I time, he would see he had done the right thing. He had told her the truth and that was all that he could do, right? Or…no, you know, if he was going to go out, he should go out in a blaze of glory, just put it all out there for her, and let the pieces fall where they may. If he was going to lose her forever, then he was going to lose her forever with her knowing everything. Maybe if he just came out and said it, they could move on. He could deal with being her friend, as long as he still had her in some capacity. Sure, seeing her with another guy was likely to rip his heart out, but it would be better than that barren existence on a distant planet.

Chris got up, determined to tell Stephanie his feelings. He wasn't going out like this. He wasn't going to lose her without a fight. If he couldn't have Stephanie the way he wanted, he wasn't going to lose her friendship either. He wasn't going to pry her into a relationship, but he needed her, regardless of any feelings. He walked up to her door and took a deep breath. He stormed into the room, only to find that she was asleep.

He went to kneel by her bedside, and shook her awake. Stephanie turned herself over and mumbled something, but then went quiet again. He shook her again and she opened her eyes, looking around, wondering what had woken her up. She turned her head to see Chris kneeling next to her bed and she gazed at him.

"What do you want Snooks, I'm sleeping," she said, turning onto her back.

"I need to talk to you."

"In the morning."

"No, _not_ in the morning. Right now, damn it, I'm not going to go to sleep tonight until I talk to you. We need to talk and we need to talk now."

"Look, if this is about what happened tonight, I'm sorry you got the wrong idea about us, but you have to understand that I don't want to do that."

"That's not the point! I'm not going to lose your friendship over this! Look, you don't have to like me as anything more than a friend, but I will not lose you as a friend."

"Then why the hell did you ask me out on a date?" Stephanie asked him, turning to face him now. "I mean, think about it. Does it make sense to do that when you don't want to lose my friendship? You're trying to make Rice Krispie treats out of Cocoa Puffs here, Snooks. You don't make something out of something you're not supposed to."

"I don't care."

"You're the one who changed everything between us! You're the one who had to go and change everything. This is your fault!"

"Well I'm sorry, Stephers. I'm sorry that I got in your way, that I developed these feelings for you. I'm sorry that I got all Lloyd Dobler on you when you weren't prepared."

"Well, are you going to go stand outside my window with a boombox now, huh? Is that what you're planning next!"

"I don't know, all I know is that I fucking love you, all right, there, now you know, I love you, and I need you, and I want to be with you, but if I can't have that, then I'll settle, I will settle. I will settle down like I'm a colony and I just landed on freaking Plymouth Rock. But I will settle for being your friend if you can't handle this, if you don't feel this, but I feel it Stephers, I feel it…" His voice trailed off as his rant ended. Stephanie stared at him a moment, an unreadable look on her face.

"Feel what?"

"Stephers, has it ever occurred to you that…we only ever want each other?"

"I don't _only_ want you," Stephanie said. "I like my dog. I want him too. And in the future, I may want some potato chips. So see, you've got it all wrong."

"If you don't want me, I can deal with that, but don't shut me out, please don't."

Stephanie closed her eyes, and Chris thought that she was going to fall asleep on him. He almost got up to leave when Stephanie opened her eyes again, staring at him unabashedly. She was staring into his eyes, and he couldn't look away even if he wanted to, her gaze was so piercing, so honest and open.

"I have cookies downstairs, do you want to get them?" she asked quietly.

Chris nodded; she just wanted to be friends. He could understand that. And he would accept it with a nice sense of humility. "So I guess that means you just want to stay friends…that's fine."

"Oh, I'm sorry…I guess I wasn't clear." She leaned across the small space between them and kissed him. It wasn't passionate or anything, but it was safe, and surprising and very, very nice. "I have cookies downstairs, do you want to get them?"

Chris's eyes were wide. "You just…kissed me!"

"Yeah, I think I also have a bucket of Red Vines so bring those up too, I need something sweet."

"Stephanie, what was that?"

"Red Vines," Stephanie said, "You know, red twisty licorice that is better than Twizzlers. Yuck, Twizzlers."

"You kissed me."

"I know that I did…you told me you loved me, I kissed you, what more do you want from me, Snooks? I don't exactly put out that easily you know," she said with a wink before sitting up and leaning against the headboard. "I mean, I do put out, but not before I go on a first date. Not that I do on a first date either, because I'm not a floozy. Unless you count Fozzy Floozy, because I am one of those. Does this whole kiss thing make me the hugest Fozzy Floozy? Do I get a shirt that says something like, 'Head of the Floozies?' I think that would be really cool."

Chris smiled and kissed her forehead, "I'll get the cookies and Red Vines."

Chris ran downstairs and grabbed the food. He couldn't bear to be away from Stephanie for even a second. She had kissed him. _She_ had kissed _him_. Not that he expected her to have the exact same feelings that he did, since he had had time to process his feelings, but she had kissed him, which had to indicate some sort of reciprocation. When he got back upstairs, she was still sitting there, but she had turned on the television to some bad infomercial.

"What took you so long? I was about to send out the search dogs and the helicopters, until I remembered that there's a roof and they wouldn't be able to see you. Unless they had infrared goggles and they could see you because you're warm, but I don't trust those military types."

"Well, I had to root through the various boxes of Hamburger Helper--"

"Don't you be dissing the Hamburger Helper, boy," Stephanie said. "It's the only thing I can cook."

Chris hopped up on the bed and to the other side, putting the food between them. Stephanie made a lunge for the cookies, grabbing some Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies and biting into one. Chris grabbed a Red Vine and they sat in silence for a few minutes, just watching the infomercial.

"So…uh, you love me?" Stephanie said, turning to him as she turned off the television, "Like, you love me, or you're in love with me?"

"The second one, the one with the 'in' in it," he told her. "I mean, yeah, that one."

"It's not a test, just a question," she said. "I'm sorry about earlier, I just…it felt weird, it still does to be honest, but I've gone out with worse guys, you're not on the bottom of the list, and if I can give Hunter a try, I can give you a try too."

"I'm way better than Asshole, that's like comparing pizza to liver, you want one, you definitely don't want the other one."

"Unless you're a dog, dogs like liver, Sam likes liver, well, the liver treats I get him, I don't actually make liver for him, I can't make much of anything, let alone liver," she rambled to herself. "So did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Was I the reason that you didn't get married, because that puts a pall over me, I become a homewrecker…or…well, you didn't have a home, so I become an engagement-wrecker, or wedding-wrecker, whoa, trying saying that three times fast."

"You were," he admitted. "Everything's changed now."

"It has," she agreed, looking down. "It's going to take me time to get used to this, Snooks. I mean, you've had time, and I've…well, I've not had time, since you only really confessed a few minutes ago, and while you were gone, I kind of got caught up in the infomercial for a juicer, so I was distracted."

He lifted her chin and gave her a soft smile, "Take all the time you need, Stephers, I'm not here to pressure you into a relationship, I'm really not, whatever you want to be, I'm fine with that, if you want to be pen pals, I can deal with that."

"You're right though, we only ever want each other, every other date, it's like, what are you doing? Where's Chris? When I'm not around, does he have super powers? The usual thoughts, you were right about that. I guess…I guess I never really thought of it like that, I never thought of it like…well, that we're…well, you know, if we're going to spend all of our time together anyways, we may as well add sex into the equation."

"Sex? Well, I could definitely get behind that," he said, grinning at her lecherously. "Me on top, or you?"

"I'm not sleeping with you right now!" she protested, pushing him across the chest playfully. He leaned forward and caught her lips in a kiss, this one definitely more involved than the one she had given him. She fell into the kiss, reaching up to wrap her right arm around his neck as he pulled her almost into his lap, caressing her bare back underneath her tank top. She pulled away slowly, her eyes still closed. "Okay, yeah, that's pretty damn good."

"I've been practicing."

"On your hand, or like, on a watermelon or something?" she asked, her eyes still closed.

"Hand, definitely, when I have sleepovers with my girlfriends, we all practice kissing, I wanted it to be just right."

"Well, it could use a little more lip action next time, extra points for the maneuver of getting me into your lap, that's like a 9.2 difficulty right there, now if you had maneuvered me onto my back without me knowing, straight 10's from the judges there."

"Well, I'll tell that to my coach, he's always pushing me to try harder anyways," he told her.

It was amazing how his mood could shift so quickly. He knew that Stephanie still felt this was weird, he could feel it in her body language. But he was allowed to kiss her now, and that was progress. He had to say, too, that kissing her was even better now that he was allowed to do it, and that she wanted it, at least a little bit. He kissed her again, briefly as she smiled against his lips.

"So, that date, do you want to try again?"

"I think that would be best, and this time, let's try it as if we don't know each other, we'll see how that goes."

"Wait, so I'm kissing a stranger right now? Wow, I am a slut," Stephanie said, grinning at him, "and inviting a stranger into my bed, wow, I really should tell Snooks about this."

"He'll approve, just this once," he told her with a knowing nod.

"Oh hey, this'll be like the first date I've ever had where I don't have to worry about someone spying on me, and this means you aren't going to break something," she told him. "Yeah, I don't know how to have a date where I won't be spied on."

"It'll be easy," he said, "so do we wipe this date away off the record? Because I have a track record to keep in track, and this severely brings down my average."

"Yeah, we can wipe it away…and Snooks?"

"Yes…"

"We have to make a promise right now…if this doesn't work out, if we try, really try and it doesn't work out…we have to remain friends, I'm not going to lose you," she said seriously.

"Deal," he told her.

"So when you kissed me at the mall?"

"Loved you," he told her.

"And when I went out with that guy and you spied on me?"

"Loved you."

"When I was with Randy?"

"No, didn't love you."

"And again, right now?"

"Definitely love you."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys, I'm really happy that you liked where I took it and that they're together now and all that good stuff, I told you everything would pay off. :)

* * *

"No, no, Snooks, not like that."

"Then like what?" he asked.

"Um, I don't know, this is very difficult," she said as they stood outside their hotel rooms (and yes, they still had separate hotel rooms, Stephanie was adamant in not being a slut). "I'm not sure how to go about this."

"Well, neither do I," he said, holding his hand out, "Just take it."

"Fine," she told him, taking his hand. "Okay, no, this doesn't feel right either."

"Well, interlock our fingers," he said, as she laced his fingers with hers. "Yeah, just like that."

"Okay, let's take a few steps," she said. They started to walk and she made a face, "No, that doesn't feel right either, yeah, I'm not liking this. Wrap your arms around my shoulders again."

He did as he was told and they continued walking, before he spoke, "No, this is uncomfortable for me, you have very broad shoulders, or are you wearing shoulder pads or something?"

"Shoulder pads, I was thinking that I could go play football after the show, and I'm saving time by just wearing my pads right now," she told him. "Okay, how about you wrap your arm around my waist?"

"Okay," he said, "but what are you going to do with your arm?"

"Oh yeah, where would I put that, should I wrap my arm around your waist, but that looks weird, unless I wrap both my arms around your waist."

"But wouldn't that make it very awkward to walk?"

"Well, it's better than having both of _your_ arms wrapped around my waist and walking behind me, because then we'd just be shuffling like we broke our legs and we have really bad leg casts on, like on TV shows when they have the body casts, we'll look like we have body casts, and do you think that really should be the first thing people think of when they see us. I thought we were going for subtle recognition of this…difference in us…this strange, strange difference, dating, are we dating? Am I your girlfriend?"

"You're my best friend," he told her with a smile, "and if you want…girlfriend…friend who is a girl, who is going out with me."

"Are we going steady?"

"I haven't you my pin yet," he told her.

"That's right, I would like a pin on my sweater before we go up to Lookout Point and make out in your car," she said coyly. "But back to our problem, if you put your arm around my waist, and I put mine around yours, do we have to put our hands in each other's back pockets like they did in the 80's."

"Well, I wouldn't mind touching your ass," he shrugged.

"See, this does not endear to you," she said. "Because, frankly, it disgusts me, but yeah, let's try the interlocking fingers hand-holding again?"

"I thought you decided that was no good."

"No, that's good, I think that was the best, because I'm not liking the other options," she said to him. She grabbed his hand and held it in hers, interlocking their fingers together. "Okay, yeah, that's okay, let's go."

"Fine by me," he said to her as they walked down the corridor to the elevators. "So what do you tell your parents about us?"

"Well, that I like pasta and I like brownies and that you like pasta too, but you like pesto sauce and not so much with the marinara," she said, "just the vital information about us."

"Well, what about the situation, you know, since you really should tell them."

"And put your life in danger, I don't know what my dad will do to you in the case he finds out you're…my gentleman suitor. Doesn't that sound so much better than my boyfriend?"

"Only if we transport back in time about a hundred years, and even then it might be outdated," Chris told her. "But you know, who knows, maybe the car that we rented is really a time machine, like in Back to the Future. Maybe some mad scientist accidentally returned it to the rental place and we got it and we can go back and you can erase that embarrassing wedding thing."

"Must we bring that up when we're together now?" he asked, pretending to be exasperated.

"Well, at least I know, right? Because if I were just random girl off the street, then I'd ask if you'd been in any serious relationships and then you'd have to tell me how you were engaged…and it's all becoming so clear as to why you would want to date _me_? You're just lazy, Snooks, that's it! You're lazy and you don't want to have to go through the hassle of getting to know some other girl."

"You got me, Stephers, I decided that I'd just go where I wouldn't have to think, a mindless relationship for this mindless world where we are all just slaves to the man."

"Yeah, I thought so," she said, nudging his hip with her own, "I use this noggin every now and again."

"Still though, the wedding thing is behind us, in the rearview mirror, a rest stop in the route 66 of life, not even a rest stop, one of those really cheesy and bad tourist traps like that place made of corn, you'd wonder how the birds don't eat that place."

"Okay, I'm just saying, I know about it and it's good that I know about you and your entire history, makes it easier for me to see the flaws that you'll inevitably try to hide from me, like not spending five hours in the bathroom…"

"Wait, what are you suggesting? That there's no mystery left to me? Are you seriously saying that there is no mystery left to me and you just know everything about me?"

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting."

"I've got things up my sleeve, Stephers."

"You're not wearing sleeves," she pointed out.

"Well, maybe they're invisible, so you wouldn't be able to see."

"If you had invisible sleeves, then you'd better get the patent on those," she told him as they got to their car.

"So assessment time, in the week that we've been going out, what's your verdict? Critique me," Chris said as they made their way to the arena. He rested his hand on her thigh as he drove, and wondered if that was okay to do, but she wasn't saying anything so he figured that she wouldn't mind.

Stephanie thought back to the last week. Admittedly, she was still a little freaked out about the entire thing. It was going to take some getting used to, this being with Chris. For so long she had only seen him as a friend and now he was awakening these new feelings inside of her. It was like she was a slice of cold pizza and someone had stuck her in the microwave, and she was slowly warming up from the inside out. This just had nothing to do with radiation of any sort.

She liked being with Chris, but that was a given. She had liked being with Chris for years. But now…now there was kissing involved! And damn, Chris knew how to kiss. She had gotten a brief glimpse of it that day in the mall, but this…this was like the intent to kiss, and when he was prepared, hot damn it was like…it was like when you microwave a grape and hot plasma or something shoots out, not like she had ever done the experiment, but she had seen it on the internet.

"Well…you didn't share your dessert when we went out on Thursday," she told him, "_that_ you can work on. I'm your something or other…girlfriend or something…it's in the law that says I can eat off your plate, so don't hog the bread pudding. Other than that, um…it's been like usual, we just kiss a lot more than usual, which was zero, so a lot more."

"Good, that seems fair enough."

"And me?" Stephanie asked, placing her hand on top of his, and he smirked, so she did know that his hand was on there.

He thought back to his week with Stephanie. It had been amazing, better than he ever could've imagined, and he had imagined some pretty crazy fun stuff, "It's been great."

"Good, because my time is a commodity," she told him, trying to sound serious, but her smile was just trying to burst through. The good feelings that went through him when he saw her smile was like the best match combined with the best promo. He couldn't imagine how the sex would be…when they got around to having it.

They arrived to the arena in one piece and Chris got their things while Stephanie got out of the car. They had a brief tussle with how to hold their hands again and how they should approach the arena, but they figured it out soon enough, and were holding hands again as they walked into the arena. Stephanie groaned as she saw her brother sitting on a stray folding chair reading the Wall Street Journal.

"Eww, robot dead ahead," Stephanie whispered to Chris.

"Ignore him, I don't think he has his phasers on," Chris whispered back.

Shane heard talking and looked up. He saw his sister and instinctively rolled his eyes, until his hands fell on the way that Chris and Stephanie were holding hands. Well, this was a new one. The way that they were holding hands suggested that something had been crossed in their relationship. This little tidbit would be interesting for the folks. He folded up his newspaper and stuck it under his arm as he stood up.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my little sister."

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the spawn of Satan," Stephanie said drolly.

"I wasn't expecting this to happen, but I guess at some point it was bound to, wasn't it?" Shane said, gesturing towards their clasped hands. Chris winced a little bit as she dug her nails into his hand.

"It's none of your business, Shane," Stephanie said bitingly, ready to snarl at him.

"But Stephanie, I'm your brother, I only want the very best for you," Shane said in a sickly sweet voice. "It's about time you two copped up to your fucking, I'm sure Mom and Dad are going to love this one, in fact, I think I should go tell them right now."

"Go right ahead," Stephanie said. "Unlike you, I don't let Mom and Dad dictate my life. If they told you to sit and beg for your food, I think that you would, you're such a brownnoser, at least I have a brain that's not programmed to be so in love with Mommy and Daddy."

"Yeah, we'll see how this all works out, Stephanie," Shane said, pushing past the both of them.

"He is so annoying, he's like that smell you can't get rid of and you don't know what's causing it, but it's constantly there. I don't care what he tells my parents, it's my choice who I do and do not date, and if they have a problem with that, well…I don't care," she finished lamely. Chris laughed and leaned in to kiss her. She stood up on her toes a little bit to kiss him back, reveling in that feeling again.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

Chris pulled away, his face already red as he turned and saw Trish standing there, an angry look on her face. He gave her a sheepish smile and said, "Hey, Trish."

"Hi, Trish," Stephanie followed suit, trying to appear friendly, but she didn't think that Trish was going to be too receptive of that right now when she was kissing her former fiancé, who had stood her up at the altar, and for Stephanie of all people.

"I knew it," she said angrily. "I knew that you two had something going on! Why couldn't you just admit it, Chris, huh, _huh_?"

"Trish, I swear, this didn't happen until after we were over, in fact, this didn't happen until last week."

"Oh sure," she said, wanting to spit in disgust. "Look, if you didn't want to marry me fine, but do you really have to flaunt your new relationship in my face! I loved you, Chris, and you stood me up at the altar, do you know how that felt, and for _her_, you gave _me_ up for _her_!"

"Okay, Trish, this is a little uncalled for," Chris said, warning in his tone.

"Oh, is it, Chris, is it? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like she's the one who broke up our relationship."

"That's not how it went," Chris said, "It was me, okay, it was all on me."

"You know, I can't even look at you right now," Trish said, staring directly at Chris like Stephanie didn't even exist. "You…I just can't even bear to look at you."

She turned on her heel and walked off, practically stomping down the hallway. Chris sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Stephanie reached up and grabbed his hand, giving him a reassuring smile. She knew that wasn't the end of this, not by a long shot. She didn't want Trish to hate them for something that didn't even really develop until after they had broken up. Sure, she was the reason for their non-marriage, but nothing had happened and Trish needed to understand that.

"You should probably go talk to the blonde bombshell," she told him, kissing his palm.

"Are you sure? Because I don't have a problem staying with you," he said. "I mean, we can just forget that she exists for tonight, kind of like how we forget that Trips exists all the time."

"No, you should talk to her," Stephanie said, "It's okay, Snooks, I understand. I should probably go have a pow-wow with my parents, tell them what's happening and then tell them that they have a better chance of going into outer space than they do of deciding my life."

"I don't like when we have to get serious."

"Well, when we're done, we'll have a water balloon fight or something around the arena."

"I'm holding you to that, Stephers."

"Oh, you just want to hold me, period."

"Well, I can't deny that, but I'll meet you in a bit."

"You'll meet me in a bit."


	13. Chapter 13

Chris was rarely serious in his life. He just didn't see the need to be serious most of the time. It wasn't in his nature and it certainly wasn't in Stephanie's nature. They weren't people who took things seriously and it worked for them. Yet, here he was now, licking his lips a little as he searched for Trish's locker room, hoping to catch her there so they could talk. He knew this was about as serious a situation as he was ever going to be in, and for that reason, he didn't want to look like he was taking this lightly.

He found her sitting on a trunk outside her locker room. She was leaning back against the wall with her eyes closed, her arms folded over her chest. "Hey."

"Don't even talk to me," she interrupted. "Don't you dare even talk to me."

"Trish, come on, please," he pleaded.

"No, okay, I get it, I _get_ it, you don't need to say anything else," Trish said angrily. "I don't need you to speak anymore."

"Trish, I think you do," Chris said. "May I sit?"

"No," she told him. "Look, let's just stay away from each other for the rest of our careers. That's easy enough right, I'll ignore you, you ignore me, it'll be easy for you I'm sure. So let's just do that."

"No, I'm not going to spend the rest of my career ignoring you, Trish."

"Well, I'm going to ignore _you_," Trish said. "Like right now, conversation over."

She got up to leave and he grabbed her arm lightly, "Trish, please, let me just talk to you, I'm not asking for much, I just want to talk to you, please."

"I don't owe you anything," Trish told him. "So let me go."

"I know that you don't, I know this, but I don't want this awkwardness to be between us for the rest of our lives, and maybe if we can get it out of the way now, we can be civil with each other."

"Um…no, you don't get any say with me," Trish said. "Do you know how it feels to be left at the altar? Do you? Do you know how embarrassing it is to be in front of your entire family and all your friends and then not have a groom show up?"

He sighed, "Trish, if you'll let me explain…"

"Explain how you left me!" she said, drawing attention to them. Chris was not an easily embarrassed man, but this was a private conversation being broadcast for everyone to hear. He pulled her into her locker room.

"Trish, I will explain if you will just listen to me," Chris told him. "I'm sorry for everything that I did to you, I really am."

"Shut the hell up, Chris, I don't want to hear whatever bullshit you spew at me. I think that it's pretty clear what's happened here, you were a goddamn liar, that's it, that's all, I get it, so will you please just leave me the hell alone," she told him, sitting heavily down on the couch and refusing to look at him.

"I did care about you, Trish," he said, sitting next to her, but leaving a lot of space between them. "That wasn't a lie, I swear to you that it wasn't. I definitely care about you."

"You had a really funny way of showing that."

"I know what I did was wrong."

"Wrong? You think _that's_ the right word to describe it," she scoffed. "Oh yeah, it was wrong, just a little tiny mistake. We just paid for a bunch of stuff, I got a dress, we got a church, had a date, a reception, had everyone we knew there, yeah, it was just wrong."

"Okay, a lot wrong, I shouldn't have let it get that far," Chris said, running his hand over his face.

"Fine, tell me what you want to tell me, then never speak to me ever again."

"Thank you, if you want to never speak with me after this, then I will be fine with that."

"Fine, go ahead."

"I kissed Stephanie about a month before the wedding. We went out to get her dress for the wedding and she looked so pretty and I kissed her. She was shocked and she said that it was a mistake, and she didn't feel anything, and I believed her. She didn't say anything about it afterwards, but I felt something for her."

"Oh, this is lovely, cheating on me, this just gets better and better, regale me with more, Chris, I'm on the edge of my seat," she said sarcastically.

"She moved past it, she thought it was nothing. I didn't, I just kept seeing her differently. I was falling in love with her. I wasn't in love with her before that, or maybe I was and I didn't know it, but believe me when I say that I was _in_ our relationship until that moment. I thought that maybe I was just scared that I was losing her and that's why I kissed her, but that wasn't it."

"Whatever."

"But," he continued. "The night before the wedding, I think I finally realized that this thing between us wasn't right. I didn't know how to approach it though, I thought I could go through with it. I thought it was jitters, that maybe it was just all jitters. But the more I thought about it, the more that I knew that I was just in love with Stephanie."

"I don't want to hear anymore," she said, her eyes welling with tears.

"Trish, I know this is cliché, but I didn't want to hurt you. That's why I didn't marry you. I knew that if we got married, if I became your husband, I'd be the worst husband on the planet because I wouldn't be one hundred percent committed to you, and you don't deserve that," he said, speaking genuinely now. He knew things would never be the same between them and he understood and accepted that, but that didn't mean he didn't want her to know the truth.

"So you waited until the last second?" she scoffed. "You couldn't spare me the embarrassment."

"I didn't know until the last second. I kept trying to convince myself, talk myself into it, but it just wasn't happening. Look, you deserve better than I could give you, that's the long and short of it. You deserve so much more than I can give you."

"That's for sure," she muttered, and he winced, but knew that he deserved that.

"You deserve the very best, and I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, I wish that I could've done things differently, but that's what hindsight is for, it makes you see things that you didn't see before, and that's what I see now, that I was a complete asshole for leaving you hanging."

"Yeah, you were," she said, tears streaming down her face that she just couldn't stop. "I loved you, Chris, I wanted a future with you. You don't even get how much I loved you. I defended you to everyone who thought that you were way too close to Stephanie. Do you see how much of a fool that makes me? I keep saying, 'Oh, no, they're just best friends, they're just really close,' and now what? Now you've humiliated me and made me look like I was the last one to see what was going on."

"I think Stephanie was the last one to see that," Chris said, then cursed himself for trying to make jokes. "Sorry, this is a really recent development."

"Oh, sure."

"It is, Stephanie didn't even see me this way until very recently, if she even really sees me the way I want her to, but what I'm saying is that this isn't something we planned or plotted It took me a long time to gather up the courage just to speak with her about my feelings. I'm not sure where she stands, but…I'm not going to lie to you, Trish, I love her."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that, thanks," she responded sarcastically. "Is that all you have to say before you go rub it in my face that I was completely oblivious to all of this?"

Chris knew that it was a losing battle. He sighed, "Yeah, that's all, and we're not going to rub it in your face, Trish. I'm sorry for what I did, but if you don't choose to believe that you're better off, fine. I shouldn't have done what I did, and I'm truly sorry for that. Maybe someday you won't hold it against me, but if you choose to, I want you to, because if you've been as embarrassed as you say, then you deserve to, later, Trish."

He left without letting her say anything, even though he heard her voice just as he was leaving. He leaned against the door a little bit, taking a deep breath and trying to blow the seriousness right out of him. He didn't know what else to say to Trish. He knew there was nothing that he could say to make her feel better, so he just didn't. Things were as they were, and if that's how they had to be, that's how they had to be.

He went back to his locker room and sat down on his own couch, covering his eyes with his forearm, sitting there quietly and ruminating about his failed relationship. It was only when he started thinking about his new relationship did he smile something fierce. Thoughts of Stephanie had always brought a smile to his face, but it was an entirely different smile now. It was a smile full of possibilities and hope.

"So look at you, doing the McMahon heiress!"

"Shut up Adam," Chris said as he removed his arm from over his face.

"What? I must commend you, sir, fine catch, fine, fine catch, I wouldn't mind reeling her in sometime."

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about like she's a fish," Chris said, pretending to be angry.

"Yeah, there it is, that's what I wanted to hear, she _is_ your girlfriend. Chris and Stephanie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes sex, then comes more sex, then she just--"

"Wow, so where did you get the brain transplant?" Chris asked. "Are they giving them away for free right now? And what third-grader traded brains with you because I'd much rather go talk to them since they'll be a much better conversation."

"Lighten up, getting it on with Stephanie has definitely made you a bitter, bitter man," Adam said. "So come on, spill, how'd you do it, I always imagined you guys getting it on in a kiddie swimming pool filled with ice cream."

"That would definitely be too cold," Chris responded. "Now fill that kiddie pool with cake and or whipped cream, maybe, but not ice cream, the goods can't stand the cold, they like the nice, warm places."

"And you call me sick," Adam said, making a face as he stuck out his tongue. "So Stephanie is hot naked isn't she? I mean, remember when she had to dress up like a slut, holy crap, dude, she was like, I wanted to bend her over and just--"

"Really Adam, is that what you wanted to do to me, you wanted to bend me over and play leapfrog or something?" Stephanie asked as she walked into the room. "I mean, surely you can't be talking about sex with me, that would be so rude, and you're not rude, right? Because if you are rude, I think a swirlie would be in order."

"Not cool, Steph," Adam pouted. "You know how even the slightest dirty water will compromise this great head of hair."

"You mean the oil slick that you call your hair?" she asked as she came and sat on Chris's lap, wrapping her arms around him.

"So are you two going to be the lovey-dovey type couple?"

"No, Chris and I have decided to be the couple who dresses alike. This weekend, we're going to go shopping for matching jumpsuits, I was thinking white with neon pink, but Chris isn't sold on the pink."

"I want velvet," he shrugged, kissing her cheek.

"So you two are eventually going to be together so long that you'll just end up looking like each other?"

"Yeah, pretty much, we've already got the hair thing going for us," she said, leaning her head close to Chris's. "I'm going to dye his hair in his sleep to brown so then we'll really freak people out. And we'll be walking down the hallway and people will be like, 'Stephanie! Hey Stephanie!' and then Chris will turn around."

"I do not look like a girl!"

"But people would just see the hair," she reasoned. "So how did it go with the blonde bombshell?"

"She hates me, wants to roast me in pits of hell, and then maybe, maybe feed me to the dogs, just a hunch."

"You talked to her?" Adam asked, wincing. "And she didn't cut your balls off?"

"I made sure she had no knives or rusty saws," Chris said. "She saw me and Stephanie, thought we had been plotting this."

"And you haven't?"

"Hell no," Stephanie said. "He broke me with the promises of Red Vines and water park rides in our backyard..."

"_Our_ backyard? You're living together?"

"No, but he spends enough time at my place I should charge him rent."

"But I'm your boyfriend!"

"Boyfriend or no boyfriend…but I guess I can take pity on you since my parents were none too thrilled, but they didn't say anything. I expect their wrath to be unexpected and quick. Watch out for any booby-traps when you walk to your match later. I'm thinking a blow dart to the neck to tranquilize you and then a large boulder rolling over you."

"Do I at least make the transfer before the boulder rolls after me?"

"Yeah, that's what sets it off," she said. "Really, I think they know by now to stay the hell out of my life if they know what's good for them. I know how to set up trip wires to make them fall flat on their faces."

"Well at least one thing went right."

"Oh, who cares about the blonde bombshell, she was going to hate you anyways since you kind of left her as one of those crazy brides like in Great Expectations, and she'll be forever doomed to never marry."

"She's better off," Adam said and Chris glared at him. "I'm just saying, no way she keeps up with you, Chris, you'd just end up being fuck buddies with Stephanie anyways."

"Thanks, glad to know that you don't think he can be faithful," Stephanie said, "I guess I'll dump him now."

"That's how it'll end anyways," Adam joked.

"Hey, shut up, I know you want my girl, but she's all mine," Chris said, hugging Stephanie around the waist.

"Yeah, sorry Adam, I guess I'm taken for a while."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you're liking this crazy, crazy story. I also started a new story, "Twilight on a Broken Star," so go check that out. Leave a review. :)

* * *

Getting romantic with Stephanie was like trying to have a tea party with a wildebeest.

Next to impossible.

This was the one area of their newfound relationship that Chris did not know how to broach. Sure, they had slept in the same bed many, many times before, but that was just that, sleeping. And sure they had been making out, but that was just lips on lips. And sure, they had been friends for a long time and over the course of that time had accidentally seen the other naked, but that was completely by accident and had been awkward at best.

So how the hell did he get any further than second base with Stephanie?

He figured, though, that if this was the most trouble he was having in his relationship with her than he was pretty damn lucky. Things had been going really well the past three weeks, and he loved spending time with her. Okay, so that was silly, he had always loved spending time with her. She was his best friend after all. Now there was just a lot more kissing and touching involved. It was like going from dark chocolate, which was good if you didn't know how freakishly awesome white chocolate was. Now he had the white chocolate and it was delicious, but he wanted more than that.

Maybe he could just have Stephanie dipped in chocolate.

Problem solved.

"Why the hell are you licking your lips?" Stephanie asked as she read a magazine in the chair in their hotel room. "Did you get barbeque sauce stuck on them like I said you were going to? Then you didn't believe me, and now you know you have some stuck on your lips and you just didn't want to tell me and now you're trying to hide it."

"That was quite the explanation," Chris said. "And no, I was just thinking about chocolate."

"See, now I want a hot fudge sundae…with _two_ cherries on top so we can each have one and we won't have to have an arm wrestling contest like we did last time, in which you cheated," she told him. "You took advantage of me. If I weren't a girl, I could've beaten you."

"But I know the secret to winning arm wrestling contests."

"So do I because you told me, but I'm a girl, and as a girl, you should always let me win."

"You don't let me win when we're playing something obviously to your strengths, like Battleship. You obviously know where I put my submarine, and then you don't gently choose the spots around it, you go ahead and sink it."

"I like to win," she rationalized. "So what kind of chocolate were you thinking about? Brownies, was it brownies? Oh, or 100 Grand bars, you know, I really should give those out for Halloween, I just don't think they'd make it to Halloween because I'd eat them all and then regret eating them all later."

"White chocolate."

"Oh, awesome," she nodded. "Good choice."

She went back to her magazine then and he continued to look at her. He just couldn't pull off romantic with Stephanie. She'd laugh in his face if he were to do something like that. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate it to a certain extent, but their history of friendship didn't help matters any. She knew him, and that was something they'd have to overcome. Usually with a girl, he'd do something to try and impress them. He couldn't impress Stephanie because she'd see right through him.

He didn't want to pressure her either, but they weren't children and they had needs. Like the need to…do her through the bed until she couldn't walk. Okay, so that thought was a little bit on the dirty side, but sometimes Stephanie elicited dirty thoughts in his mind. He tried to think of things that would not get him worked up. Oh, thinking about Hunter did the trick and really quick too.

"You look weird, are you going to puke?" Stephanie asked. "Because if you are, don't do it front of me because then I'll puke, and it'll smell and I don't want to have maintenance coming up here to have to clean up."

"You're disgusting," he told her.

"I'm just telling it like it is," she said with a smile. Seeing that there really was something on his mind, she put her magazine down and walked over to the couch, climbing into his lap and now he was _really_ glad that he had thought about Hunter just a few seconds ago. "I'll give you…five Red Vines, a Ring Pop, and a bag of Skittles if you'll tell me what's wrong."

"You know I hate Skittles."

"Yeah, well, I'm trying to unload them on someone, they've been sitting in my bag for like six months. Hey, do you think robots eat Skittles because then I can give them to Shane…hey, maybe he _runs_ on Skittles. I'm convinced he has a panel in his back, like that show,_Small Wonder_!"

He laughed, "We'll have to check one night when he's sleeping, then maybe we can program him to short-circuit and his head will fly off and all we'll see is wires."

"That's downright scary," Stephanie told him. "I don't want to see his head fly off. Maybe his arm will just fall and then it'll start crawling around like Thing from _The Addams Family_."

"How is that not as creepy as his head flying off? I didn't say he'd still be talking with his head off, but you're suggesting that his arm would be its own entity."

"Because heads are scarier, losing your head is scarier than losing an arm," she explained. "So yes, your scenario is scarier."

"What if Shane is like a pay-robot? Your parents put in a quarter everyday to keep him running."

"Wow, then Shane is loaded, we should just try and get those quarters, think of all the vending machines we can use. Think of all the phone calls we can make, ooh, or those little toy machines at the supermarket. We can get matching fake tattoos!"

"As long as it's fake."

"You wouldn't get a real tattoo for me?" she asked incredulously. "So if I asked you to immortalize me on your butt…or you know what, yes, I think you should be branded with my name on you, right in the forehead, it can say, 'Stephanie's,' and then everyone will know you're mine."

"But what if I run into some other Stephanie and she suddenly thinks that I'm hers, would I have to go off with her because technically I'm Stephanie's?" he asked.

"Well, I'll have to put Stephanie Marie McMahon, born on September 24, 1976 on your forehead," she said, "just for clarification of course."

"Wait, you're how old? Wow, I didn't think that you were that old, I think I might have to rethink this. I was really looking for someone in their early 20's, not their late twenties (remember this is not current). I mean, even 19 would've been great."

"Oh, I see how it is," she said. "Well, I like older men myself, which is why I wanted you."

"Low, Stephers, very, very low."

"Well, Snooks, that's how it goes," she said, starting to get up. He grabbed her back down and started to tickle her. "Snooks, stop, no!"

"Oh yes, Stephers, yes," he said, then started to kiss at her neck. She moaned lightly so he continued what he was doing, not even realizing where it was potentially going.

"You're a jerk," she giggled as he held her tighter. She pulled him off her and started kissing him forcefully, grabbing his hair to pull him closer, wanting more and more of him every second. He was like a cup of hot chocolate that she wanted to get to the bottom of as quickly as she possibly could.

By now, Chris knew that things were getting more heated than they had ever been. He got up, picking her up and letting her snake her legs around his waist as he held her tightly. He tilted his head up so she could continue to kiss him as he ran his hands underneath her tank top and up her warm back. They were stumbling, stumbling, stumbling until they hit the wall and she groaned against him from the force of her back hitting the wall so hard. She didn't care though as he started to attack her neck.

She had never felt this kind of passion before in her life. She was almost scared by the feelings that Chris was generating inside of her. It was like this swirling vortex and all she wanted to do was take in Chris and forget about everything else that ever existed. If you had asked her what one plus one was in that moment, she would've told you it was eleventy billion. Before she could think one more thought they were in the bedroom and he was making them near the bed where they fell together, and his weight didn't seem so much as he was hovering over her, kissing her again, exploring her mouth with his tongue as his hands threaded through her brown tresses.

"Snooks, god…"

"Stephers," he whispered against her skin and she shivered. Her body felt electric and his breath was warming her up even more. "You're so pretty."

"Just pretty?" she asked incredulously.

"Sexy, pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, a goddess, should I go on?"

"Yes, go on, go down, go wherever the hell you want to go," she told him. He started to laugh and she looked at him. "Oh great, I ruined the mood, didn't I?"

"No, I just, sorry, this is great, I love _this_," he said, gesturing to what they were doing as he was actually on top of her. "I just, it's us, you know."

"It is us," she said, "but if you aren't going to have sex with me tonight, I'm so up for it right now, that I'm going to have to get myself a male prostitute or something because you've gotten me all hot and bothered under the collar."

"Yeah?" he asked.

"No, Snooks, you on top of me does nothing for me," she said, as she gently pulled his shirt off. "In fact, I'm getting turned off right now," she continued as she started to pull down his pajama pants. "Totally and completely turned off," she told him as she pulled him down to kiss her even further.

"I've wanted this for a long time," he told her as he kissed her by the ear.

"Well, if I don't live up to the expectation, then I blame the butler, because the butler always does it."

She lived up to the expectation and then some.

"So we really should've just been having sex for like…the past few years, huh?" Stephanie as she straddled Chris later on, after they had done their business, ordered room service and pigged out. She was in her bra right now, and he was definitely appreciating the view and the feel of her body on his.

"I'd say that's about right," he told her, reaching up and offering the finger that had hot fudge on it because when Stephanie felt like a sundae, she got her sundae. She licked the chocolate off his finger and winked at him as she scooped up some whipped cream and offered it to him. "You're really good at that you know."

"Yes, I know," she said haughtily. "I've told you that time and time again."

"So is this where we disclose all the people we've slept with before?"

"No, I did some background checks on you, and found out myself," she said, knowing full well she had known about who he had slept with for a very long time, long before they had ever began dating. "My private investigator is very thorough."

"Oh good, mine needs a little work," Chris said as he smiled up at her. "So do I get a performance review?"

"Adequate," she told him, "I meant to take down notes, but you kept me preoccupied. I did want to mention, I liked the move you did around 11:54, very nice, Snooks, I don't know where you learned that, but kudos to your coach."

"I'm a self-made man, thank you very much," he said as he fed her some ice cream.

"Oh, I like that," she said.

"Really? I thought it was a good one myself."

"No, I meant the ice cream," she said, "good flavor, I prefer the vanilla bean to the regular vanilla…oh were we still talking about you? I didn't even realize, that's how forgettable you really were, I was trying to build up your self-esteem, Snooks." Chris put the ice cream sundae on the nightstand and pulled Stephanie down on top of him.

"Well I'll just have to prove my worth."


	15. Chapter 15

"So we've told your parents about us…"

"Yes, we told them weeks ago, what does that have to do with anything, Snooks, unless someone erased their memory and now we have to tell them again? Do I have to tell them again because that's a little too _Groundhog Day_ for me. Maybe this time we don't tell them and keep it as a little surprise for them to find down the road, like a Christmas present!"

"No, your parents still remember, I'm still working on the brain-washing machine, it's not quite up to code yet, the tests I've done on the apples all just lead to applesauce," he shrugged. "Your parents definitely still know about us, which is why they give me dirty looks every time they walk past me. Their little plan has not worked and they are pissed."

"They just need to get it through their heads that we are together now," Stephanie shrugged. "What can they actually do about it, not much, I'll tell you that right now. They can't do anything to me that they haven't already tried to do. I'm too tough for them."

She flexed her muscles for him comically and he laughed and pulled her towards him, kissing her until he had his fill. "That's not what I wanted to talk about, you know, Stephers. Maybe sometimes you can wait until I finish my sentence. Like on the game shows when someone buzzes in too early and they get the completely wrong answer and everyone laughs at them. You're just lucky that I didn't laugh at you."

"Wait, so this isn't about my parents? And you let me talk about them anyways? What's wrong with you, are you sick or something?" Stephanie asked, feeling around his forehead. "Usually talk of them knowing about us would send you to the hills. I knew something was wrong, is it typhoid fever, malaria, scurvy, do you need some fruit?"

"No, I need none of those things, though, if you want to give me some--"

"If you say peaches, I'm going to actually bring you peaches, a whole bucketful so be careful the next words you say," she told him poking him gently in the chin.

He had to say, for everything that they had been before they had gotten together, he liked it about a million times more now. They had been together for over a month, and while they were no ones to actually be shmoopy enough to celebrate one month anniversaries, they knew it was a milestone. He loved being with her now more than ever. Nothing had really changed in their relationship of words, but in their physical relationship everything had changed. He loved sleeping with his best friend, he did, it was like getting to just be yourself all the time and never having to impress anyone or be something that you weren't.

"Um…if you want to give me some…Campbell's Chunky Soup to feed my hearty appetite," he said, patting his stomach.

"Uh huh," she nodded incredulously. "Okay, so Mr. Jericho, what did you want to tell me about?"

"We haven't yet told Mom and Dad about this…thing between us," he said, gesturing between the both of them.

"Oh that's right, I thought we were just going the route of going over there one time and then just randomly making out in front of them and causing their jaws to fall to the ground, and then we'd laugh and pick them up and at least put them on the table for them, since you know, we'd want to help."

"You know, that's not a bad idea."

"You really want to just start making out in front of them, Snooks? That's bold, I like your style," she said, playing with his hair.

"Well, I like to think that this thing we have going here is going well, do you think that it's going well?"

"I think it's going extremely well," she told him. "You are very good in bed."

"That's it? That's all I get, I'm good in bed, no emotional attachment, no telling me that I take you to all your favorite places, no saying that your dog loves me, or that I make every one of your days a little bit brighter? Not even that I have a smile that lights up your life?"

"Nope," she said, shrugging, "mostly because nothing has changed except you get to see me naked, and while that is a monumental thing because I'm like some Greek goddess, and we both know it, everything is exactly the same, nothing is changed."

"Well, you get to see _me_ naked, it's not just that I get to see _you_ naked, although that is monumental. It's like I get to climb Mount Everest every night," he winked.

"Wait, wait, wait, did you just compare me to a _mountain_? And not just any mountain, but the biggest and tallest mountain in the world?" she asked incredulously. "Because if that's the case…"

"Well, the twins are kind of like mountains," he told her, eyeing her chest. "But I still love your sanctity, if that's what you're worried about. You made me wait like two weeks to get into your…well, you. So your purity is still sealed."

"My purity hasn't been sealed in a while," she said. "So we really should let Mom and Dad in on the secret, except it's not a secret, it's more like…a…fact, I mean, it's definitely a fact, but we really should tell them."

"That's what I was thinking, but I do like your element of surprise involved."

"So what are you thinking? Are you thinking that we jump out of an airplane and crash through their house into their kitchen and just tell them?"

"I was thinking that we get motorcycles and ride it in through the house and then stop in the living room and tell them," he said, "but maybe we'll skip that since Mom will kill us if we get tire treads on her carpet."

"She could ban us from seeing each other."

"Are you kidding me? I think she would want to know every detail about everything and while I love my mother, I don't want her knowing about my sex life, there are just some things that your mother doesn't need to know, and I'm going to go out on a ledge here, and say that's the line."

"Yes, I don't want your mom to know about that, I mean, she can know about our horrible first date instead. And then she can tell you how you were a really bad date for me and how you're lucky I gave you another shot."

"You wanted a piece of me, you would've come eventually."

She rolled her eyes, "So call your parents and tell them you're bringing a new girlfriend home and act like it's not me."

"That's too simple."

"Simple yet effective, Snooks," she told him, kissing him lightly and pulling his cell phone from his pocket and handing it over. "Come on, I could use the time away this weekend. All the dirty looks that my parents are giving me, and that the robot is giving me are starting to make me tired." Chris dialed his parent's home as Stephanie made funny faces at him while he waited for someone to pick up. He kept rolling his eyes and pushing her away from him playfully.

"Hello?"

"Mom, I wanted to bring my girlfriend over for the weekend," Chris told his mother over the phone and not mincing words at all.

"Another girlfriend," his mother said exasperatedly. "Didn't you just break off an engagement a short while ago and now you have a new girlfriend you'd like to bring home?"

"Yes, that's exactly it," Chris said to her.

"And what about this thing you said you had with Stephanie?" Loretta asked anxiously. "You said that you were in love with her."

"I'm not going to pursue that Mom," Chris lied as Stephanie leaned her head next to his in order to hear what was being said. He gently massaged the back of her neck as he was talking. "I decided that above anything else, I need my friendship with Stephanie more. I just can't lose her; it's not worth it if things don't work out with her. Definitely not worth it."

Loretta sighed and gave in, "Fine, bring whoever you want here, we'll meet them, but don't expect your father and me to be here with open arms. The last girl you brought here you ended up leaving at the altar and although you had the most noblest of excuses, your father and I aren't holding our collective breaths in your getting married stock."

"Mom, I just want to let you know right now, I think that she's the one," Chris said, acting as serious as possible as he looked over at Stephanie who was listening on the phone. She put her finger in her mouth and made a silent gagging noise as he said this. Chris just glared at her.

"Oh, yeah, like I'm going to believe that," his mother scoffed. "Just be sure to bring Stephanie so that we have a buffer ok?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Okay, well, I'm glad that I'll get to see you and Stephanie at least. As for this mystery girl, your father and I aren't going to hold out hope that anything will actually come from it," Loretta told him sarcastically.

"Wow, Mom, I'm glad that you have such faith in me and my choices in whom I date," he said. "You'll really like her, Mom, I promise you. In fact, once you meet her, I think that you are going to instantly fall in love with her. You have a lot in common."

Loretta scoffed, "We'll see."

"Yeah, you will see," he said, "bye, Mom, I love you."

"I love you too, and tell Stephanie that I love her as well."

Chris hung up and turned to Stephanie and said diplomatically, "My mom loves you too."

"Well, I love her too," Stephanie said, "and _the one_, come on Chris, don't use those tired, cliché phrases with me, I see right through them like they're a glass window, but not a stained glass window because those are a little harder to see through and then your view of the world gets skewed because you could see everything in green or yellow or something, but yeah, no cheese with my whine, please."

"I was putting on an act, I was acting," he told her, making a face, "so it was only for the benefit of her, I wasn't saying anything about you in particular."

"Do you feel that way though? About us, I mean?" she asked him, pursing her lips a little as she gazed at him.

He shrugged, not really knowing how to answer that question. He loved being with Stephanie like this, that wasn't in question, and they were friends first and foremost so he knew that wouldn't really change, but they had only been dating for a short while now and he didn't know if it would last forever, though he wanted it to. If she wanted the same thing, he couldn't see them not lasting. And no, he didn't see it always being this perfect; he and Stephanie were extremely individual people and they would fight, he was sure of it, but yes, he could see Stephanie as the one person that he was going to be with for the rest of his life. Still, that all depended on her.

"What do you want me to say, Stephers?"

"I want you to tell me a big, fat lie the size of the Cat's Eye galaxy, what do you think I want you to tell me? I want you to tell me the truth. In a relationship, Snooks, there should be a modicum of honesty, and I think that you need to tell me the truth."

"Well, the lie is that I think that the world should all be one, one, big community of love and compassion. The truth is that yes, I can see us being together for a while, you?"

"Me too," she said with a sweet smile. "Now that that's over with, let's start planning our attack."

--

"Mom, we're here!" Chris called out as he walked into the house.

His mother and father walked out casually from the living room, his mother's arms folded in front of her, an almost dour expression on her face. Ted's face was neutral, as if he didn't care either way. His mother wasn't mad at him per se, she was just weary of him going through this song and dance number that he did with women. He couldn't commit and it was frustrating for them to see woman after woman coming and going through their house. The only steady girl was Stephanie.

"So where's your new girlfriend?" Loretta asked. "We're anxious to see her face. Is she outside waiting to come in from the cold?"

"Actually," Chris said.

"Wait, before you give her the grand entrance, Stephanie, what do you think of her?" Loretta asked.

"I really like her Mom," Stephanie said. "I think she's really the only girl I've ever known who can keep up with Chris on a good day. She's also really beautiful, now I wouldn't say she's model material, but she's good-looking."

"I think she's model material," Chris interjected, grinning at Stephanie.

"Yeah, I don't think that's something she really needs to hear, Snooks. I think she's very confident and she carries herself well, and she's a true professional."

"If by professional, you mean professional annoyance, then yeah, maybe," Chris said with a smile. Stephanie frowned.

"Well, Chris mentioned she could be the one, do you think she could be the one?" Loretta asked, glancing as Chris with that same sour expression.

"I think she could be the one, Mom, even though I hesitate to use such strong words. That is if Chris shapes up and starts acting like an adult. I couldn't imagine any women wanting to be with someone like Chris. I mean, unless the woman was exactly like him, but what are the odds of that happening?" Stephanie joked, making fun of herself and Chris in the process.

"Well, if Stephanie likes her, I guess we have no choice," Loretta replied. "Let's meet the one that my son is going to marry hopefully and not leave at the altar like last time."

"Ok Mom, well…" Chris said, wrapping his arm around Stephanie's waist surreptitiously. "Mom and Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend, Stephanie McMahon."

"Nice to meet you," Stephanie said, doing the whole practice routine she and Chris had done earlier. "I've heard so much about you."

Loretta and Ted's jaws dropped to the ground. Loretta picked hers up first. "NO!"

"What, really, I guess not," Stephanie said. "See you, Snooks."

"You're dating, the two of you?" Ted asked.

"Yeah, Dad, us two," Stephanie said. "At least I think so, that's the impression I was under when Chris confessed that he was in love with me. But I _had_ been in bed at the time, so he might've been talking to the television. Snooks, were you talking to me that night?"

"No, I saw the Ronco Rotisserie infomercial, so you know, I love me some chicken," Chris said. He looked at his father and mother. "Mom, Stephanie's my girlfriend, for real. You can go crazy now."

Loretta screamed and rushed over, almost knocking Stephanie to the ground in a hug. Stephanie laughed and hugged her back. Loretta pulled away and took Stephanie's face in her hands. "You're my daughter now, you hear me; you are going to be my real daughter."

"Snooks, I was adopted and I didn't even know it!" Stephanie exclaimed.

"Chris, listen to me now," Ted said. "If you let this one get away, I'm disowning you."

"Dad _so_ likes me best," Stephanie teased as she stuck her tongue out at Chris. "I'm your favorite right Dad?"

"Yes, you're my favorite," Ted said, indulging her.

"See," she said as Chris kissed her temple.

"You, right now," Loretta said, pulling Stephanie, "we're going to go have some girl talk."

"I've created a monster here, haven't I?" Chris said to his girlfriend. She laughed and let Loretta pull her away.

"Oh yeah."


	16. Chapter 16

"So tell me how this all happened?"

Stephanie laughed as Loretta dragged her into the den upstairs. She had expected Loretta to be excited that she was dating Chris, but she hadn't expected her to be pulled around like a naughty dog on a leash. She took in Loretta's question and didn't know exactly how it _had_ happened. She knew the timeline of events, but she hadn't quite figured out how the transition had been so easy between them.

She felt different when she was with Chris. It was a familiarity that she loved, but there was just something more to it now. Sure, there was the entire physical side which hadn't exactly been present when they were just friends, but it was more than that. It was like she knew where she stood. With the men she dated before, there was always something so uncertain about herself. She was not some conformist who did what she was told all the time. She just liked to be free and she always felt like she had to tone that down somewhat with a guy because otherwise she would scare them off.

Not so with Chris; Chris accepted her for who she was and loved her for who she was. That sent a small smile to her face as she looked at Chris's mother, the same woman who had taken her into her home and treated her like her own child. She remembered the first time she had come over here to meet them. She had been reluctant and nervous, something she usually wasn't, but she really liked Chris as a friend at this point and wanted to make a good impression on his parents.

They were nice at first, pleasant, making her feel welcome and she felt like she could be herself, so she was herself and that's when they had come to love her. "Mom, you don't want to hear that story," Stephanie told her.

"Are you kidding me?" Loretta asked. "Of course I want to hear that story! Do you know how long Ted and I have been waiting for you two to get together? We've been dropping hints for the two of you forever. I think you've noticed."

"We've artfully dodged them," Stephanie said. "We knew you'd be happy. In fact, we figured that there'd be confetti shot down from the ceiling that you've had up there since you figured that Chris and I would be good together. I was at least expecting some sort of banner to unfurl from the ceiling with a hearty, 'It's about time, you two!" embossed on it."

"Well, if you had given us notice," Loretta shrugged. "As it stands, I am making you two your favorite meal tonight, whatever it is, whatever you want, you're getting it."

"Chris and I should get together more often!" Stephanie gushed. "I didn't know that we'd get the 5-star treatment. If I had known that, I would've been more receptive to the idea of Chris wanting me."

"How did you two get together!" Loretta demanded to know, almost grabbing Stephanie by the shoulders and shaking her.

Stephanie laughed, "Mom, it's really not that great a story, it's like, wham, bam, thank you ma'am. It's more boring than watching one of those ultra-religious shows that makes you think everything in your life is wrong…or public television."

"Tell me, I want to know."

"Well, he asked me out, and I thought he just wanted to go out to dinner," she started, recalling the sequence of events. "I mean, he asks me out all the time, this isn't unusual. Sometimes it's even unspoken, you know, like we meld our minds together and we just know what the other is going to do. Like we have that twin ESP except we're not twins and he's actually six years older than me. So he asked me out to dinner, and I thought nothing of it, and why should I? So I said sure, and thought we could invite some more people, make it an outing. I wasn't suggesting that we throw a rave or anything, no breaking out the glow-sticks, but he told me that he wanted it to just be the two of us, a date."

"Oh, so he _did_ end up asking you."

"You knew?"

"Well, he may have confessed to us that he was in love with you and wanted to ask you out and be with you and that was why he didn't want to marry Trish."

"Oh, well, that's…that's about everything, Mom. So you pretty much knew everything and you kept it from me. It would've been nice to have just a little bit of warning about this. I could've had time to prepare myself, taken a few deep breaths here and there to calm myself down. When he said that he wanted it to be a date, I didn't know what to think. This was Chris we were talking about. I didn't know what I wanted from him, but I didn't think that it was a date. I said yes though because he convinced me. I think he secretly has a genie that he just can make constant wishes with. Maybe he's like the guy on _I Dream of Jeannie_, what's his name? Major Nelson! Maybe Chris is like Major Nelson and he has his own genie to do his bidding."

"Go on with the story, you accepted the date, how did that go?"

"To put it nicely, horrible. It was probably the worst date I'd ever been on in my entire life. He was boring. He was a boring date, and I hate to say that about your son, Loretta, and it in no way reflects upon your parenting skills, but you may want to take him out back or take him to a charm school in order to teach him how to be better on a first date. It's a wonder he had any girlfriends with a first date like we had. It was the most boring date on the face of the Earth. If I had been having soup that night, surely I would've drowned. Lucky for us, I had a steak, which…yes, could've smothered me, but I was careful enough to miss the plate as I was falling asleep."

"But you two are so good together, how could you have a horrible date, this does not make sense to me. It probably wasn't even that bad."

"We just didn't have anything to talk about."

"You, you and my son, you two didn't have anything to talk about? No, I don't believe that. You two talk so much I'm surprised that you don't have TMJ or laryngitis. I shudder to think about your cell phone bills."

"Well, we didn't have any getting to know you, and I was feeling so awkward because it was Chris. I might as well have been a 15-year-old girl on her first real date with her food getting stuck in her braces like some really lame 80's movie where I'd get with the popular boy at the end. It was just really awkward so I requested that he take me back home."

"You requested he take you back home? You ended the date early?"

"I just couldn't stand it anymore…so we get back home, I go to bed, I'm sleeping, tucked away in the bed, wondering what compelled Chris to think this was a good idea in the first place and wondering if this was going to make our friendship weird now, like…fruit in Jello weird, and he comes in and declares his love for me, and I'm not stupid, I know what's supposed to happen next so I kissed him, and then it just kind of ballooned and here we are."

"Together?"

"Yes, together…because we came together, on the same plane and everything," Stephanie nodded. "We even sat next to each other on the plane, it was quite the moment, finding our seats and sitting down and then flying in the air together, we even shared peanuts, it was all very romantic."

"You're going to marry him."

"Loretta, are you proposing? I didn't know that this was going to happen, I'm so surprised," she said, covering her mouth. "I figured…well, I don't know, this is so unexpected, do you have a ring?"

"No, but you are going to marry him," Loretta said in no uncertain terms. "I have not wasted years wanting you two to get together only to see you fall apart. You are going to marry my son, Stephanie McMahon, you are."

"That's pretty assertive. What if Chris doesn't want to marry me?"

"Oh he will, trust me. If I have to drill into his brain with an electric drill, it's going to happen, and then you're going to be my real daughter, and nobody is going to take that away from me. Then you can have kids, two or three, I'll let you decide that."

"Oh thanks," Stephanie said. "That's really quite nice of you to let me choose my offspring."

"I do what I can," Loretta shrugged, then reached forward and hugged her. "You don't know how happy this makes me. I just knew that if you two opened your eyes, really opened them, you would see what was obviously right there in front of you."

"Well, I can't predict the future, so just…don't get your hopes up, okay, Mom?"

"I won't, but…I just want what's best for the two of you, and I think that this is it."

"Whoa, what's this! My mom trying to steal my girlfriend? Wow, I never thought that it would come to this day, but I guess it has. Hugging? When I'm in the same house. You have to choose, Steph, me or her?"

"You," she told him. "You're cute. I like you."

"Oh, good," he said, putting a hand over his chest. "I was just hoping that I could get my girlfriend back."

"Oh of course, of course, I'm going to make your favorite," Loretta said, standing up and going over to her son. She grabbed his face in her hands and planted a big kiss on his cheek. "I'm glad you finally got your act together, it's about damn time."

"I like to work slowly. You can't rush art, Mom, and me, I'm an artist," he told her. She smacked him playfully on the face and left the room. Chris turned to Stephanie, "So my dad told me to never break your heart or he's going to come after me. It's nice to see that _my_ father would kick _my_ ass if we were to breakup."

"I'm a fragile creature, Snooks," Stephanie told him. "I'm like a delicate piece of glass. You have to handle me with care or else I will break and you will never be able to put me back together again."

"See, I always likened you to that stuff that gets on your shower doors, soap scum, no matter how hard you try to scrub it away, it just lingers there and lingers there, and even when you try and scrub it, it just sticks to that door like glue."

"Is that a crack?"

"No, it was not a crack. It was an observation."

"Because I haven't left you alone since I spilt my hot chocolate on you? So now you think that I'm just a sticker-around-er? Well, I will have you know, Snooks, that I'm not that, I'm a person who can go out on their own."

"I believe you…but…I happen to know that the Game Show Network is showing a marathon of _Let's Make a Deal_, and well…"

"Oh my God, why didn't you tell me immediately!" Stephanie exclaimed, jumping up and rushing out of the room, pushing Chris out of the way to get there. Chris laughed and followed her downstairs as she plopped herself down on the couch. Chris sat down next to her and she shifted to lie down in his lap. She reached up with her left hand and he took it in her own and intertwined their fingers.

"So what did Mom want with you?"

"She wanted the dirty details. I told her that we were sleeping together and that you're a tiger in bed, grr," Stephanie told him.

"Eww, please, don't ever tell my mom about our sex lives, Stephers. I don't think I could get over the embarrassment. I'd have to wear fifteen layers of clothes every time I came over just because I'd feel disgusting around her."

"I think she knows we're doing it."

"How would you know? We haven't been dating for _that_ long, maybe she thinks that you're a virgin and you're saving yourself for marriage, maybe she thinks _I'm_ a virgin and I'm saving myself for marriage. Maybe she thinks we're both virgins and we're saving ourselves. Maybe she thinks that sex talk my father gave me when I was fourteen really scared the crap out of me and I've been scared of girls ever since."

"You do laugh when I say boobies," she said as Chris hunched over a little and giggled. "But I do too, it's a funny word!"

"Yes, it is, but you don't know that she knows that we're having sex."

"Well, if she's anywhere in the vicinity, she knows now," Stephanie said. "You have a big mouth."

"All the better to eat you with, my dear," Chris said, emulating the big, bad wolf."

"See, that's just disgusting now, did you have to go there?" Stephanie asked. "You just blew it, now I'm disgusted and my telepathic and time-traveling mind skills will not work for _Let's Make a Deal_. How am I supposed to channel my mind into the past and sway these contestant's choices. Now this guy is going to get stuck with a zonk and it'll be a giant rocking horse because of you."

"He deserves it, he dressed up as a baseball player. How unoriginal! You need to have a great costume, preferably something that nobody has seen before, and then you deserve to get to the Big Deal."

"It's better than the woman dressed like a vampire, _that's_ unoriginal," she told him. "See, now you have me worried that Mom and Dad might hear us if we decided to get frisky while we're here."

"When did we turn into 70-year-olds? Frisky? Who uses the word frisky?"

"The cat food company," Stephanie told him. "I just…thought it was an appropriate word."

"Oh, did you now?"

"I like being with you," she said out of the blue. Loretta came to the door to tell them she was going to the store when she just leaned in the doorway to watch them a moment.

"You're just trying to detract from the fact that you said frisky and now you feel like a complete loser for saying that word."

"Okay, you got me, I'm horrible, Snooks, I stole my vernacular from the 1920's, it's really such a shame, that."

"I like being with you too," he said, "just for the record, since you threw that out there. You're very cute."

"Cute? Oh, Chris, you can do better than that."

"I really can't, oh come on, this woman knows to keep the case until you can parlay it for the Big Deal, I can't believe this! You keep it, don't take the buy-off, the Big Deal is worth 11,260 dollars."

Stephanie laughed, "She obviously doesn't study the show and you distracted me from my mind-powers."

"I'm evil, what can I say?"

"Hey, you two, I'm going to the store, need anything?" Loretta spoke up.

"No, Mom," they said in unison. Loretta nodded and walked past the couch to get her coat and put it on. The strains of laughter were incessant as she buttoned up her coat, the two of them chattering and she caught Chris leaning down to kiss Stephanie every now and then. She smiled and shook her head before leaving.

It was about damn time.


	17. Chapter 17

"Has he asked you to marry him yet?"

"Mom," Stephanie said. "We haven't been dating for that long."

"Still you've known each other for a very long time, so I would think that he wouldn't waste time with this stupid dating thing. Just get married and get it over with. You can fly to Vegas for all I care," Loretta said. "I don't even need to be invited."

"You wouldn't want to see your son get married?"

"The only wedding I've ever seen him be a participant in, he didn't even show up. I don't want that happening again, so elope, go to Europe or something and elope, I don't care as long as you're married."

"Wow, Mom, don't put ideas into Chris's head because he'd be liable to take you up on it and then he'll kidnap me and he'll make me his wife and then he'll lock me in the house and never let me leave."

"I just think that you two should just forget about this dating thing and get to the good stuff, you get married, you have kids, you do that whole thing and then I can finally have you as a daughter, that's all I really want in this thing."

"Did you say kids? Oh my God, heaven help us if we ever have kids, I don't think that would be a very pretty sight. Chris and I can barely take care of ourselves, let alone some little kid, that would be scary, really, really scary," Stephanie said with a shudder.

"I don't know what is taking him so long though, he loves you, right?"

"Yeah, I'm fairly sure when he told me he loved me that he was being sincere, a little, maybe he was lying, I don't know," Stephanie shrugged. "He could just be stringing me along right now and then when we plan on getting married, he'll leave _me _at the altar, I bet that's what he does to all the women he's with!"

"You two," Loretta said with a sigh. "He wouldn't leave you at the altar."

"He has a track record of these things," Stephanie said with a false morose. "I think he's a serial proposer, I don't want to get caught in that crossfire because if we were in a romantic comedy, I could just turn to my best friend and then we'd obviously get together, but Chris and I _are_ best friends, so this would only end in heartbreak for everyone."

"Nobody is ever going to want to be with either of you so just get it done with already. Here, why don't I get Chris's father, we'll get Chris and we'll make it a family trip or something. We'll head down to Vegas and then we'll find one of those silly, little chapels and you'll get married and Ted and I will be your witnesses."

"Mom, I don't think you understand that Chris has no asked me, and I'm not pregnant, so there's no need for a shotgun wedding," Stephanie told her. "Besides, that's really lame, I mean, of course I want to get married by an Elvis impersonator and of course I want to walk down the aisle to _Jailhouse Rock_, but I want it to be on my time and Chris's time."

"You two are so stubborn," Loretta said. "I just don't see why you can't do it now if we all know this is where it's going to end up."

"Is it? We could break up tomorrow. We could end up having a huge fight over which is better, Ring Dings or Twinkies and then it could be all over."

"No."

"You're psychic, aren't you, Mom?"

"Yes," she said ominously.

"Mom, stop bothering my girlfriend," Chris said as he walked into the room and grabbed Stephanie's sandwich, taking a bite out of it and then putting it back down on her plate with a soft smack.

"Who said you could take a bite of my sandwich, it's probably contaminated now with your germs, I don't even know where your hands have been, and who knows what kind of germs you have in your mouth."

Chris leaned down and kissed her, "There, now you have my germs already on your mouth, so you can eat your sandwich with freedom, Stephers."

"Still, it's one bite missing," she pouted.

"I could regurgitate it and feed it to you like you're a baby bird or something, but I'm not sure how my mom would feel if she saw that."

"I don't know how _I _would feel if you did that, that's gross, we are not birds," Stephanie said, taking her sandwich again. "Mom wants us all to fly to Vegas so we can get married."

"Mom, you want to marry Stephanie, wow, this is quite the surprise, I didn't even know you wanted her like that, but, well, you're my mom so I guess I should concede victory to you, just take care of her, okay?"

"I want you two to get married," Loretta said drolly, used to the games that these two played.

"Mom, you're going to scare her away," Chris joked as he went about making his own sandwich. "I would rather her not leaving in the middle of this stay because she's scared by you, try to make a good first impression."

"I think I've ruined that," Loretta said.

"Me too, I don't think I made the best impression on you, I mean, right off the bat, we tricked her," Stephanie said as Chris sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he ate with the other hand. "Not to mention the very, very first impression wherein I had to explain that I spilled hot chocolate all over her precious baby boy."

"I did hate you for that," Loretta said, still wanting to giggle when she saw her son and her surrogate daughter acting like a couple.

"I knew it!" Stephanie said as she heard her cell phone ringing on the counter, where it had been charging. Stephanie looked to Chris with question and he shrugged, not knowing who it might be. She got up and looked at her phone and groaned.

"Who is it?"

"The robot," she said as she answered the phone.

"Where the hell are you?"

"Well hello to you, dear brother, and what a fine day it is, don't you think?" Stephanie said cheerily.

"Where are you, you can't just take off, you know, you have a job to do and you are supposed to be here to do it," Shane said, of course bringing this right around back to work. She sighed and looked apologetically towards the other two people in the room before walking out and into another room so she wouldn't make them uncomfortable.

"Hey loser, I made sure that I didn't have any meetings this weekend."

"Well what if Mom or Dad needed you?"

"Then I think they would just activate the chip they had implanted in me when I was a child and brainwash me into walking all the way back to Connecticut. This would also activate my super-strength so I could walk through walls and houses and all of that."

"Stephanie, why must you be so aloof all the time, where are you anyways?"

"I'm with Chris's family," she explained, "and it's the weekend, Shane, that means I don't have to go to work. I know this concept is foreign to you, but this is usually how a weekend works."

"Well, Dad called an emergency meeting with all of creative and where was his daughter when all of this was going on, gallivanting with the good-for-nothing boyfriend of yours," Shane told her and she let her mouth go slack.

"I gave Dad fair warning that I would not be there. So it's his fault if I wasn't there, tell him that, I dare you," she said, "I work for him, and I know what my rights are. I told him that I was going to be out of town, I bet that he did this just to embarrass me."

"When are you going to figure out that Mom and Dad aren't out to get you? They just want you to do their job."

"Well, Shane, I know that you are programmed to like Mom and Dad and it's a very good program that, but they are out to get me, when will you join me in my eternal paranoia? I sit up at night thinking Mom and Dad are watching me, that they've installed a camera in my hula girl lamp, that her seemingly useless ukulele is really just a part of their sadistic plan. How do I know they didn't bug that garage sale?"

"I can't even talk to you," Shane said. "Next time, be there."

"I told him I was going away!" she said, then ended the call herself.

Stephanie stood in front of the window that looked out onto the front yard. It had started snowing about half an hour ago and she stepped closer to see if it was sticking. She knew that Chris would probably want to try his hand at skiing and she was contemplating whether it was worth it to make the trip. She wasn't going to let her brother derail her weekend. She felt two arms wrap around her from behind and she snuggled into the warm body.

"What are you doing, Stephers?" he whispered into her ear. He rested his chin on her shoulder and she nuzzled her head against him.

"I'm wondering if I want to go skiing. I'm weighing the pros and cons like a good little decision-maker. Right now, I'm on another con, getting snow in my underwear. Definite con."

"I'd like to get in your underwear," Chris said lecherously, licking her jaw a tiny bit.

"I'm not an ice cream cone, Snooks," she told him.

"You taste just as good though."

She rolled her eyes. "No wonder you couldn't keep a girlfriend, I'm so close to being offended right now, and with a big, picturesque window in front of us, I'm liable to go Jackie Chan on you and throw you right through it. Hmm…I didn't like that reference, but I'm at a loss for how to come up with a better one at the moment."

"I render you speechless."

"No, you don't, in fact, when I'm around you, I'm more liable to talk because you make me downright nervous, Snooks. Ok, that's not true either, in fact, I feel the same around you that I always do."

He pressed three quick kisses to her neck. Loretta was walking by the doorway and saw Chris with Stephanie in his arms. She felt compelled to watch them for a moment. Their backs were to her so they couldn't see her, and they were out in the open so it wasn't like they were shrouded in privacy. They were whispering things to each other and laughing softly, slightly swaying as they spoke.

Loretta had never seen Chris so happy. Perhaps it was a cliché of sorts to say that, but she honestly could not remember a time when he had such prolonged happiness. Sure, when he had gotten his job in WCW and then WWF, he had been ecstatic, knowing he was in the big leagues, but this was different. It was just very…right. It seemed so natural and right and she was glad that she didn't have to push them together. Now they just had to get married.

"So what did your brother want? Did he lose one of his disks, the one that controlled his hand movements?"

"My dad called a meeting knowing I couldn't be there and then when I didn't show up, I'm guessing he made some rude joke about me which they all laughed at because they want to suck up to my dad even though they didn't find it funny and would've rather been doing anything else but sitting there with my dad."

"So he called a meeting just to berate you?"

"I'm guessing that's exactly what happened. See, he likes to use me as the scapegoat. If I'm the scapegoat, then he can just blame everything on me, Stephanie was the one that didn't get the papers out, Stephanie was the one that thought of that horrible storyline, Stephanie made me get gingivitis."

"Wow, you can give people gingivitis, what other kind of special powers do you have, Stephers? I'm amazed!"

"Well, I do have this very rare ability to turn oak wood into pine wood! It really comes in handy when I get tired of my coffee table…or my bed!"

"I never get tired of your bed."

"Do you have a Rolodex of those lines in your pants?"

"I write them on the soles of my shoes like Mike did on _Growing Pains_," Chris admitted. "I figured that would be the easiest way to make sure that I was ready with the cheesiest lines available, incidentally, I also got those from _Growing Pains_."

"I'm impressed, that's _your_ secret power," she told him.

"Don't worry about your brother though, we'll TP him when he's in his sleep mode."

"You promise?"

"Yeah, and hey, you know how my mom was talking about going to Vegas and all of that?"

"If you suggest we actually go and do that, I'm going to pull my hair out."

"No, but you know, someday…"

"Someday…"

"I would like to go gambling with you, and maybe to a show…Cirque de Soleil."

"I would like to gamble with you too."


	18. Chapter 18

Things had been going so well for Stephanie and Chris. He loved being with her and it was better than anything he could've expected. It was like getting a swimming pool full of Jello and topped with whipped cream and just jumping right in and floating in the gelatinous mixture. He felt like he was swimming in a combination of lemon and lime Jello. She was even more beautiful now than he ever imagined she could be.

He loved her.

It was as simple as that. He loved her with everything in him. The only problem was that she had not said it back. They had been dating for a while now, months actually, and he told her all the time that he loved her and usually she would say something funny or coy, thinking that she was deflecting the question, but she wasn't fooling him. She wasn't saying it and it kind of worried him. She knew how he felt, but he was still kind of in the dark with her.

"Hey Dave," Chris said as the large man sat next to him in catering. Chris took a swig of his bottled water as he nodded at the man.

"Hey, where's the better half?"

"Who said she was better?" Chris asked, acting aghast at the suggestion. "I can't believe someone would think she was the better half. What half does she bring to the table?"

"Hotness," Dave told him.

"Hey! I bring the hotness," Chris said, popping his collar. "You don't even have to stick me in a toaster I'm so hot. Stephanie might just be the brains of the operation, if anything. If we were spies and someone needed seducing, they'd send me in."

"Like hell they would," Dave chuckled.

Chris shook his head, "She's working. We went away for the weekend. She informed her parents that she was going away, but no, they call her in for a meeting she can't possibly make and then get mad at her for not coming."

"That sounds exactly like her parents."

"Yes, it does, I think they like got an operation where they took their brains, cut them each in half, and then each one of them has half of the other's brain, it was probably very complicated, but I'm sure that's what happened."

"Sounds good to me, so now she's in trouble?"

"When is Stephanie not trouble?"

"I would say when she's sleeping, maybe, but then I'm not so sure, I kind of picture her sleepwalking around and pulling pranks on people."

"Nah, with Stephanie, she'd only _pretend_ to be sleepwalking and then play the pranks and blame it on sleepwalking when she was actually awake the entire time. I sleep with one eye open because I'm convinced one night she's just going to dump ice water all over me."

"I don't blame you."

"Okay, serious question time," Chris said, opening and closing his hands like they were flashing lights. Dave raised an eyebrow. Chris was just not the type of guy who was ever really serious so this must be really important.

"Lay it on me."

"Do you think that Stephanie loves me?"

"Okay, what? This is one of those things where I'm going to answer and Stephanie is going to be hiding somewhere and she'll act like I said something bad about her and she'll pretend to be mad and I'll feel dumb for falling for it all."

"No, I'm being dead serious right now," Chris told him, leaning his chin on the top of his water bottle. "I was just thinking."

"That's dangerous, when you think of things it usually ends up with us getting kicked out of the arena because we tried to have a party in one of the locker rooms and ended up setting something on fire."

"Well how was I supposed to know that Jeff Hardy was a fire-eater?" Chris asked. "Once I found out, I _had_ to see it."

"Okay, it was pretty cool," Dave agreed, thinking back to that particular party. Vince had thrown a hissy-fit when he found out about it and had it shut down immediately and called security to escort them out.

"Yeah, I know. But I'm serious here, I'm like UN serious, you know when the UN is being all serious about world issues, I'm being serious."

"Well how the hell am I supposed to know if she's in love with you…and I swear to God, man, I'm not dressing up like a woman and sneaking into the women's locker room to find out."

"Like you could pass for a woman," Chris said, looking over at him as if to assess him. Dave could feel Chris putting a dress on him in his mind's eye. "You would be the ugliest woman."

"Oh, what tipped you off to that one?"

"It was the haircut," Chris told him.

"Do you want me to ask her?"

"No!" Chris exclaimed. "Oh my God, she'd know that I asked you and she'd never let me live it down. She would post it on billboards, hire skywriters, tattoo it on her boobs or something so I'd see it all the time…"

"Because you look at her breasts all the time, I get it, Jericho," Dave deadpanned.

Chris laughed, "That's definitely a perk, and I didn't use that term on accident."

"So now you just want to brag about Stephanie's body?"

"Hey, I mean, yes, yes I do," Chris said. "I think I've earned the right. See, if I had fallen for Stephanie earlier than I did, I would've definitely been in the friend zone for a long time, pining away from her, and that would mean I'd get to brag a lot now. But I didn't fall for her until fairly recently, but I still want those perks."

"You don't make sense."

"I'm just saying that Stephanie is great in bed."

"And now I'm never going to look at her the same way again. Thank you so much, Chris, now I can't be Stephanie's friend anymore. You've taken her clothes and just made them fly off her body."

"Well, I do make them fly off her body," Chris said lecherously.

"And still, you won't stop!" Dave said. "I value my friendship with Stephanie."

"Because you're using her, aren't you? Oh, I am so going to tell her."

"You know, now that I think about it, I don't think that Stephanie loves you, not at all. I bet she's just with you because she pities you."

"Wow, see, now you just had to take the low blow. Do you really think that?"

"Don't be all girlie with me, man."

"I'm not trying to be, I'm just naturally curious," Chris sighed. "What if she is just with me because she pities me? Or because she didn't want to lose my friendship, I mean, I practically pushed her into dating me. Why hasn't she told me she loves me!"

"Why don't you go write all this in your diary?"

"Because that's reserved for special moments and memories, plus I need my special unicorn pen when I write in it and it's back in my hotel room. I also like to wear my fuzzy bunny slippers, they make me feel cozy and safe."

"Maybe she's not ready."

"We've been best friends for years though, she must know something. She told me she loved me when we were friends."

"Friends and dating are way different."

"So says you."

"Davey!" Stephanie exclaimed as she ran over and gave him a bear hug. She settled herself in his lap. "Davey, will you please go beat up my brother, I'll reward you handsomely. How does a trunk full of treasure sound?"

"What kind of treasure."

"Those little gold-wrapped coins, what did you think, it'd have real gold?" Stephanie scoffed. "I'm not made of money, I'm flesh and bone, damn it, flesh and bone!"

"I love you," Dave said, kissing her on the cheek.

"I love you too, Dave, but is this how you wanted to reveal our secret affair to my boyfriend? I thought you wanted to be a little more discreet, you know, have him find us in bed together, I was thinking that I would be on top."

"What is with you two?" Dave said, but also gave Chris a smug look because Stephanie had told him she loved him. Chris flipped him off while Stephanie wasn't looking.

"What do you mean?"

"Just because you're both getting laid regularly doesn't mean you have to talk about it all the time."

"Snooks, what were you talking to him about?"

"How good in bed you are," Chris shrugged. "I was just telling him the truth, I didn't tell him about the cute, little--"

"Snooks!" Stephanie yelled, her face flushing to a deep red that reached her ears. She could feel her face getting hot and she turned away from the two of them. Dave lifted her off of her lap and put her in the seat before he waved silently at the two of them. He gave Chris another look and then he was gone. "You were telling him about our sex life? I thought we triple-pinkie-swore that we weren't going to talk about that to people!"

"Well, I crossed my fingers behind my back so it's null and void."

"Now I'm going to get a reputation and everyone is going to think that I'm some sort of slut, and then all the guys are going to want to date me because they'll think I put out and you're contributing to this negative image of me, how can you live with yourself?"

"Very easily since I get to see you naked," he told her.

"Are you ready to go?"

"I've _been _ready to go," he told her. "I was only sticking around because my girlfriend had work to do and being the incredibly nice guy that I am, I didn't want her to have to find her own ride home so I graciously stayed. I think she's around somewhere."

"Very funny, let's go, I'm tired," she said, pulling him up. She hopped onto his back and he ran them down the hallway and to their rental car.

He still wasn't done thinking about what he had been talking to Dave about earlier. He needed to know Stephanie's feelings. It wasn't just that he wanted to make sure or anything, he _needed_ to know. If Stephanie didn't really see a future in this relationship then he couldn't stay with her because it would ultimately break him. He wasn't going to tolerate being in a one-sided relationship, even if the other person in the relationship was Stephanie.

"Stephers?"

"Hmm?" she asked, looking up from the magazine she was reading by the light of the small lamp on the nightstand later that evening.

"Do you love me?" Chris asked. "I mean, I know that it's taken you time to process…this thing between us, but…I've said it a lot of times, and you've said it zero times. I've been keeping a tally in a little notebook, and your column is empty."

"Is it?" she asked, going back to looking at her magazine. "That's interesting…oh look, an article on how to please your man when he's on the road and annoys you with stupid questions because he's bored and there's nothing on the five channels that the hotel gets, even though he can buy a movie and then make fun of it if he wanted to, while simultaneously breaking into the mini-bar to get drunk."

"The title of that alone had to take up at least three pages."

"It did, and the article is only five words. 'Tell him to shut up.' Wow, that's the best advice I've ever gotten."

"I'm going to take a wild guess, and say that you don't want to talk about it. Which probably means that you don't love me, and you're using me for the sex. Which wouldn't be so much a problem if I weren't in love with you, but since I am, it's kind of imperative that I know if you at least _will_ love me. It'll save me the trouble of having to jump in front of a train."

"You said you'd give me time…and judging by my calculations, in terms of the universe, you have given me nothing in terms of time. Nothing at all, I mean, a few billion years, is that too much to ask?"

"I don't want to continue with this relationship if it's going to go nowhere. I mean, you don't build a rocket ship just to show it off, and I refuse to build a relationship if it doesn't pay off somewhere down the line."

"That's awfully deep of you, Snooks. Have you been reading Reader's Digest or something? Maybe something with the fluffy bunny stories of make-believe."

"So there's no chance that you're going to love me? You're just having a good time."

"Well, I _was_ having a good time reading my magazine. But my reading has been interrupted by this annoying voice. I don't know where it comes from exactly, it's like a humming noise that is very persistent. Sounds kind of male, I suppose."

"Stephers, I don't want to be with you if you don't ever want to be more with me. I just can't do it. I'd rather be friends."

"I love you, I love you like I love jello, or Red Vines, or pizza, or Mexican food. I love you more than making my parents miserable. I love you more than throwing a snowball at the back of my brother's head. And if that doesn't suffice, then you're going to have to submit a formal complaint with the city, because I'm going to make sure there's a lot of red tape between you and me saying that I love you again. At least in that manner. I don't want you to doubt my love, because I do."

Chris smiled involuntarily, finally hearing Stephanie say the thing that he had been wanting her to say since he had found out that he was in love with her. She turned to him and smiled, rolling her eyes a little. He sat up in the bed and kissed her. She kissed him back for a brief moment before going back to her magazine. He ended up staring at her for a long while.

"I'm not a work of art, I don't have brush strokes to evaluate."

"You love me," he said sweetly.

"Oh, Snooks, don't go acting crazy now."

"Too late," he told her and she laughed. He continued to stare at her.

She loved him.


	19. Chapter 19

Chris put the last of the things he needed on the table. Today was the day that he was going to propose to his best friend in the world, Stephanie McMahon. It was like the pinnacle of his existence, from here on out, he'd be going up and never down. That even sounded cheesy to his own brain, but he was in far too good a mood to care.

Granted, he and Stephanie had not been dating for very long, but it hardly seemed to matter because they had been friends forever and knew each other inside and out. If they wanted him to identify Stephanie's liver, well, he could do that just as well as recognizing those gray-blue eyes of hers that seemed to change color all the time.

He had contemplated and contemplated how he was going to propose to Stephanie, and had flirted with the idea of sky-writing, or going to a sporting event and putting it on the billboard for her to read. He even thought of doing it in the ring, but that was way too cliché for him. He wanted something that would be uniquely theirs. Not to mention there was no way that Vince or Linda would give clearance for him to do that. Chris was well aware of their feelings towards him, and they did not think he was right for Stephanie in any way, shape, or form. But Chris had known that for years and it only furthered his idea that they didn't know Stephanie at all.

He grabbed the hot chocolate he had made her and took it up to their bedroom. It was weird thinking of it as their bedroom though. He had always had a bedroom at her home, it was just never the one that she called hers. Sure they usually ended up falling asleep in the bed, or in his bed, but it had never been their bed. But it was certainly their bed now, if you know what he meant.

Chris took the steaming mug and set it down on the nightstand, hoping the chocolaty smell would wake her up. It didn't as she flipped to her other side and buried her head into her pillow. Chris watched her for a moment realizing that Stephanie was going to make this difficult, but she always made things difficult. He loved that about her.

"Hey Stephers, wake up?"

"What time is it?"

"9:27 and 53 seconds…oh wait, 9:28."

"Too early," she grumbled. "Wake me up when there are more numbers."

"Come on, I made you hot chocolate."

"Why? So I could spill it on you again and then have to spend another four years apologizing for it?" Stephanie asked.

Chris smiled, she had hit it right on the nose. He had made hot chocolate so she would remember when they had become friends. It was a little symbolic of course, him making it for her. It was the thing that brought them together, for better or for worse, or for that little scar he still had because of her. Not that he cared because he usually lied and said it was from something cooler, like that barbed wire 2x4 he had used in his Hell in a Cell match with Hunter (which Chris should have won).

"No, because I know you like it."

"Snooks, I would've liked it more at a reasonable hour," Stephanie said, turning to face him. "Haven't you heard that you should wake somebody up if their sleepwalking because it could traumatize them?"

"Yes, but you weren't sleepwalking."

"But I was dreaming that I was sleepwalking, so the same rules apply. I could've died of shock or something Snooks and then how good would your hot chocolate be?"

"Fine, wake up when you want to wake up, even though I'm up and I'm going to go eat some waffles and watch cartoons, and not bad cartoons either, I'm going to go watch The Jetsons."

"Without me?" she asked, sitting up, her t-shirt having bunched up during the night and her hair going every which way. "You would actually eat waffles and watch cartoons without me, Snooks?"

"I might. I mean, I'm hungry and I'm craving some cartoons and I can't be bothered to sit here and watch you sleep. What do you think I am Stephers, some crazy stalker guy who watches people sleep?"

"Oh so that wasn't you the other night?" Stephanie joked. "I'm going to get up anyways because you woke me up, so now I'm up, but I'm telling you, when it strikes eight o'clock you are going to have one crabby chick on your hands, and you're going to have to deal with me, Snooks, because you love me and you would never want to see me upset."

"I may love you, but I do kind of like to see you upset, makes me want to laugh."

"And now you're going to laugh at me. You know, there's only so much punishment a girl will take before she kicks her boyfriend out on his ass. And then where would you go, Snooks? You sold your house in Florida to live with me, and the only people who live nearby are my parents, Shane, and Asshole, and out of those people…your best shot is with Hunter, and that's not saying a lot."

"Well then I would find a nice bench to sleep on…or you know one of those fancy things, I don't recall the name at the moment, oh yeah, a hotel."

"I'll steal your credit cards," Stephanie said, sticking her tongue out at him. "So let's go get me some waffles."

Chris smiled, finally this was going to work. Stephanie hopped out of bed and he was going to walk ahead of her, but she jumped on his back instead. Chris grunted at the unexpected weight and hooked his arms under her legs while she tightened her grip around his neck, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"The least you can do is carry me down there, since you woke me up," Stephanie told him.

"Then your chariot awaits, madam."

"Hey, madam means you're old, do you think I'm old, Snooks?" Stephanie asked indignantly.

"You are getting up their in years, was that a gray hair I spied earlier?"

"You're dead."

He took her downstairs and set her down in front of the kitchen. He was starting to get a little bit nervous, now that the time was here. He walked into the kitchen and stole a glance at the kitchen table, thinking of all the work that had gone into making his proposal the best. It wasn't something cheesy like there was a single red rose in the middle of the table with a black velvet box sitting next to it, ring shining in the bright morning light. That was not Chris's style and Stephanie would laugh him out of the house if he had done that.

Instead Chris had constructed the words, "Will you marry me?" out of candy and cookies and put it on her kitchen table. The W was Red Vines, the I was Reese's Peanut Butter cups, the L's were Twix, the Y was Twinkies, the O was a donut, the U Sour Patch Kids, the M was Mallomars, the A was Starburst, the R's were M&M's, the Y was Hershey's Chocolate bars, the M was Sour Punch, the E was Pixie Stix, and the question mark was made of Oreo cookies. He had gone to a lot of trouble to make it.

Stephanie walked inside and spotted the table, "Ooh, candy! Candy for breakfast! Snooks, you've thought of everything! It's like my birthday, only it's not because it's too early for my birthday, or too late if you want to look at it that way."

"Well, this is a special occasion."

"Okay! I don't care, candy!" Stephanie exclaimed. She walked over and surveyed it for a second before snatching up a bunch of Oreos and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, hoarding them. "I love it."

"You do?" Chris asked hopefully.

"Um, hello, Oreos and Reese's," Stephanie said, turning away to go put her spoils on the counter. "I'll save the other stuff for later. Don't you even think of touching those Red Vines, Snooks, or I'll be forced to hurt you."

Chris cleared his throat, "Um, Stephers?"

"What?" she mumbled around a mouthful of Oreos, her teeth turning black from the cookie goodness.

"What do you think?"

"Think about Oreos?" she said, swallowing the cookie in her mouth. "Well, they're good. Especially with a glass of milk. That's what I need, a glass of milk. Thanks for reminding me, Snooks! See, this is why I keep you around, because you remind me of the important things, like if I have milk. You're like my very own got milk ad."

"Not about the Oreos," Chris said, rubbing his neck. "Are you telling me that you just went grabbing for the candy and didn't even notice?"

"Notice what?" Stephanie asked. "I didn't share? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I left some for you. See, I missed the sharing day in Kindergarten so sometimes I have to be reminded of this whole sharing concept. Do you want a cookie?"

"No, I want an answer actually," Chris mumbled. Stephanie hadn't even noticed what he had written out for her. She had just seen the candy and gone crazy, wanting to eat it at all with no regard for what it might say. "The candy said something."

"You got me talking candy!" Stephanie yelled. "Oh my God, and I ate them, and they could talk!"

"Stephers!" Chris exclaimed, shutting her up. "Hold on."

"Okay, Snooks," Stephanie said, watching him as he went to the pantry and grabbed more Oreos and Reese's. "Now you're just spoiling me."

He shot her a glare and went back to the table, filling in the missing letters that she had so unceremoniously eaten. He should've expected her stomach to be bigger than her brain and she munched on an Oreo as she watched him. Stephanie stood there for a moment, wondering why he was putting stuff back on the table when it was just supposed to be candy.

"Come here please," Chris said, and she put her food on the counter and walked over. Chris stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulder, leaning forward a little bit. "Now Stephers, I know you can read because I've seen you read take-out menus, so maybe if you want to read what the candy is saying, you'll understand why I wanted an answer."

"Well fine, I guess eating candy is out of the question," Stephanie said with distaste as she looked at the candy. "Will you marry me? It says…will…what the hell!"

"Yes, it says will you marry me," Chris said.

"Who's getting married?" Stephanie asked in confusion.

"Me."

"To whom?" Stephanie asked, turning her head to look at him.

"You know, I always pictured a proposal where I wouldn't have to explain the concept of marriage to the woman. I guess that was just a pipe dream though. Stephers, marriage is when two people who love each other commit to each other forever."

"You don't say!" Stephanie said sarcastically. "You're proposing to me?"

"That was the idea, yes. I wasn't going to propose to Sam the dog because that's illegal, and you're the only other one here."

"You're asking me to marry you? You are asking _me_ to marry you?"

"Yes, that's what I'm asking," Chris told her. "I didn't think this concept would be too hard to get for you. You seemed so smart too. It must've been a front."

Stephanie turned in his arms, "You want to marry me?"

"Yes. So will you at least answer me before I go bash my head against the wall in frustration because you didn't even get that I wanted to marry you."

"Yeah, I'm going to have to say no," Stephanie said, nodding her head slowly.

Chris looked at her stunned. He had put his heart on the line, put everything on the line for her and she had just rejected him. He was crestfallen, he was crushed. Stephanie didn't want to marry him, Stephanie didn't want to be with him forever. It was almost too much to bear. He looked stricken, like he had just been hit by a bus. Stephanie shrugged as she looked at him.

"Your wedding track record is not the greatest, Snooks. I'm not in the mood to get stood up at the altar," Stephanie explained with a smirk. "I don't want to be the next blonde bombshell."

"But…that was…wait a second, you're joking with me?" Chris asked.

"What? Me? Crack a joke? You must be insane. I don't even get the concept of a joke. Jokes are not in my repertoire. I'm just a simple girl with simple ideas."

"So you're actually saying…"

"That you stand me up at the altar and I will personally hunt you down and kick your ass. Ooh, like a bounty hunter. I will be a bounty hunter! And after I get a cool bounty hunter outfit, then I'll kick your ass. The bombshell was nice about it, I'm not her, I'm mean."

"So let me get this straight, you _do_ want to marry me? You're saying yes."

"Oh, did you want me to say that word Snooks?"

"It would've been nice."

"Yes then, I'll marry you, even though I didn't get some beautiful speech or anything, but I guess I'll live with the disappointment."

"I like the way you work it," Chris sang. "No diggity, I got to bag it up."

Stephanie danced a little, "You're serious here though, right, because if this is one, huge prank, I think I'm going to be a little more than disappointed, but that's just me. Think about this. I know every place you'd be if you ran out on me, so you better make sure you did this right."

"I did it right, I thought about it, I took a long walk along the boardwalk, hit up the creek and skipped some stones, then I took a long swim, I think I'm definitely ready to marry you."

"Mom is going to be so disappointed that she couldn't propose first," Stephanie said, "I know she wanted to propose to me."

"My mom is going to maul you, you know, so I'd wear those outfits that people wear when they practice with attack dogs, you know, the stuff with the extra padding, you'll definitely need that. Can that be my wedding present to you?"

"No," she told him, shaking her head. "So now that you've proposed and I've said that I will marry you and now that we've clarified that we are getting married, can we have the candy? Or did you want this to petrify?"

"I was hoping it'd be petrify and we'd frame it…go ahead and eat it, Stephers!"

"Candy!"

Yes, this was the woman he was marrying.


	20. Chapter 20

"So we're engaged now?"

"That is the word for it."

"I don't know if I'm in _love_ with that word," Stephanie said. "I want something more magnificent. What did they call it in the olden days?"

"What olden days are you talking about? Because there are a lot of olden days, yesterday was an olden day and I'm pretty sure it was called engaged yesterday, you're going to have to clarify with me."

"I was thinking of June 21 in the 1266th year of our Lord," Stephanie said reverently. "What did they call it back then?"

"Oh, I don't know, let me hop into my time machine and I'll go back and see. I think I'm going to have to land in a field though because I don't want the villagers to think I'm a witch. What did they do with witches back then?"

"Wait, let _me_ get into my time machine and I'll go see what they did with witches," Stephanie said, holding her finger up like this was a brilliant idea.

"I think they'd dunk me in water or something, maybe I'm thinking of the Salem witch trials."

"You are, we'd just freak people out with our machines," Stephanie said, "then, you know what could happen?"

"We get crushed with stones?" he asked seriously, nodding morosely. "That'd be a very rocky situation, get it, rocky!"

"Okay, that was a deal-breaker right there, here's your ring back," Stephanie said, starting to take the ring off of her finger.

"Oh no you don't," Chris said, pushing the ring back down her finger. "That's your ring and it is going to stay on your finger forever. What you didn't realize when I gave it to you is that I put a tiny device inside of it. If you should ever take it off, it will detonate and all your hair will fall out."

"Wow, that's awfully devious of you," Stephanie said. "I didn't know you were part evil genius, is that on Mom's side or Dad's side."

"Mom's side, her great-great-great grandfather was full evil, he passed it on down through the generations."

"Oh, see, I have evil genius directly from my parents, but I tend to repress it," Stephanie said. "But as I was saying…in my scientific examination of time travel, the possibility occurs that we can get lost in some alternate dimension forever, like a temporal loop or something like that. Then we'd be drifting aimlessly in space never to see each other again. That is very serious business, Snooks. It would completely derail my plans, so do you know what we have to do?"

"Built a two-seater time travel machine, okay, I'm on it! Do you like leather seats? I'm thinking with the traveling it might get hot and I know you don't like to stick to seats," Chris said. Stephanie leaned her head on his shoulder, playing with his fingers. Maybe she should get him an engagement ring too. Why did women get a ring but men got nothing? That didn't seem fair. Maybe she'd get Chris a ring.

"No, we're going to have to give up the dream," Stephanie sighed. "No time travel for us."

"Okay, but I'm only giving in because I love you."

"I love you too, that's why I don't want to get stuck in time without you," she told him, turning her head to smile up at him. "So…there's something we _do_ have to do that'll actually make us want to travel back in time. I figure we'd go to the 70's, not too far back, but far enough."

"What?"

"My parents, we're going to have to tell them."

"I thought the plan was to get married, have three kids and _then_ tell your parents we're married. They wouldn't break us up if we had kids. As it stands now, however, they're absolutely going to break us up. They're going to put some elaborate plan into place. I'm thinking that maybe it'll involve lasers and weather balloons."

"Interesting, so lasers being shot from weather balloons."

"Or zeppelins! If your parents hired a zeppelin, that'd be awesome, unless it crashed, then it'd be like, 'Oh the humanity!' and all of that," Chris said. "Do we really have to tell them?"

"Yeah, we do. I mean…" Her voice trailed off and she stared ahead at the TV, which was turned off, but she was staring at it like some highly fascinating show about how they made hockey gloves was on. She didn't tense up much, but she tensed up enough for him to feel it.

"What?" he prompted, rubbing his thumb against her shoulder.

"I don't know, it's nothing."

"No, no, no, it's not nothing, if it were nothing, you wouldn't have said anything, but by definition it is something. Nothing is really nothing, you know. I think some philosopher said that. You can't really have nothing because everything is something," Chris said, "so spill it Stephers, spill it like it's hot chocolate on my very sensitive chest."

"You're right, I guess."

"You guess? Life is not a guessing game."

"Shut up with your philosophical talk, you're not Aristotle."

"I could be. I could be a reincarnation of him or something, you don't know. You could be a reincarnation of like, Cleopatra."

"I wouldn't want to be because I would never kill myself with an asp of all things. I'd be some person who lived to be three hundred or something."

"So you're a reincarnated tree?"

"That's right."

"Well, then you're like an Ent from _Lord of the Rings_," he told her. "So let me know what's wrong or not wrong, I'm not sure it's something wrong or what. Maybe it's something that's very right, maybe you want to do me right now."

"Do you? Do you what?"

"You know what I mean, Stephers," Chris told her.

"I want my parents to be at my wedding, okay, there you go. There's my dirty, little secret. I don't hate my parents as much as everyone thinks. Oh sure, I definitely think they should get their personalities altered, but it's my…our wedding."

"Oh wait, what was that slip? What was that? _Your_ wedding? Wow. So now the truth comes out, you want to make all the decisions! You want it to be your wedding, well why don't you just marry _yourself_!"

"I think I am married to myself, I am joined with myself," Stephanie said. She was grateful Chris could make her laugh. It was probably such a stupid thing to want her parents to be at her wedding. But that's just how she always pictured it. Her parents were not on the same wavelength as her and never had been, but it didn't mean she didn't want them to be with her at what was probably going to be one of the biggest days of her life.

"That's true, so I guess I will still marry you."

"Good, I wouldn't want to have gone through the last several years without some sort of end game. I mean, I knew we'd grow old together, but I figured it'd be because nobody else would have us and we'd be stuck together."

"So…that's different form how it ended up…how?" Chris said, kissing her temple. "We can go tell them now if you want. We can get it over with."

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do. You know. Don't act like you don't want to. That's why you brought it up in the first place."

"You're right. I guess we could get it over with."

"They like me better than the dreamboat, though, right? I mean, come on, they didn't like him, so they have to like me better than that."

"They didn't like him because of his age. If he were like your age, they'd absolutely adore him. They'd probably erect a shrine to him in their bedroom and leave little fruits for a statue of him to eat. They'd declare National Randy Orton Appreciation Day. I don't think there's a Chris Jericho Appreciation Day in your future."

"Are you kidding me, Stephers, every country should have a Chris Jericho Appreciation Day. In fact, I should just go ahead and declare that."

"I think only our kids would celebrate something like that and only under real duress, Snooks. I'm not sure it's going to catch on internationally."

"It _should_…and kids? Did the stork come and drop them off because I'm pretty sure I didn't get you pregnant…unless you _are_ pregnant, in which case, this is the lamest way to tell me. I think you should've done something really unique like…dressed up a dog as a baby and then put a little message in its mouth that said you were pregnant, but then I might think it's the dog, so you'd have to say, 'I (Stephanie) am pregnant.'"

"I'm not pregnant," Stephanie said, "I'm talking about our hypothetical kids of the future who will probably have hover-cars and jet packs."

"I want a jet pack."

"Of course you do, it'd help you get where you needed to go faster. Jet packs are the awesome. We'd be like the Rocketeer."

"I _want_ to be like the Rocketeer."

"I know."

"So your parents are probably going to banish me…can they fire me?"

"For getting married to me, I don't think so, Snooks."

"But there's nothing in my contract that says they _can't_ fire me!"

"They won't. I'll make sure of that. So should we tell them now?"

"Yeah, sure, might as well get it over with. They're going to come, Stephers. They're your parents. Even if they don't like how you turned out, which, they're total losers for not liking how you turned out because you're pure awesome, they're still your parents and they're going to come to our wedding."

"I would like to believe you, Snooks."

"So believe me."

"Okay, let's go do this, then," she said, standing up and pulling him up. He leaned down and kissed her. She ran her hands through his hair, tugging lightly on the end as she looked up at him. "You have such a calming effect. You're like comfort food or something. Are you made of macaroni and cheese?"

"And corn dogs too."

"I thought so," she told him, kissing him again. "We'll be okay, right?"

"We're still going to get married, right?"

"Right."

They started down the hallway towards her parent's joint office. It was like they wanted to have a united front against her. She didn't look forward to this conversation, but it had to be said. She and Chris weren't going to be sending out any "We're Engaged!" notices because they thought those were on par with ice-breakers, completely unnecessary. People would find out when they got the wedding invitations that they were getting married or they could just ask them.

She stood outside the door. "I know I should go in. They don't like me, Chris. I don't think they ever have."

"They've liked you, they're your parents."

"As far as I'm concerned, they probably wish it were different."

"My parents would've adopted you, but then we'd be brother and sister and that's just too creepy, you know what I mean?" Chris said. "As it is, my parents are more than willing to accept you into the family. My mom is probably going to be pissed at me for not making this whole thing legal sooner because she's wanted to introduce you as her daughter for years and now she finally gets to. She's going to be ecstatic, in fact, she'll disown me and adopt you and then I'm going to have to beg your parents to adopt me and there's no way _that's_ going to happen."

Stephanie knocked on the door. "Come in."

Stephanie steeled herself and opened the door, pulling Chris in by the hand. The look of disappointment at her presence was noticeable. She tried not to let it get to her, but it got to her a little bit. The door closed behind her and felt very final. Stephanie looked to Chris and he nodded slightly to her. Her left hand was obscured by Chris's hand so her parents really had no clue.

"Stephanie, we are very busy," Linda said. "Did you need something?"

"Um, yes."

"Well…can you get on with it?" Linda told her. "Your father and I have things we need to do. Aren't you supposed to be working as well?"

"I am, don't worry, you know me, work, work, work."

"I don't think that accurately describes you," Vince told her and Stephanie just nodded. She had learned long ago to just ignore what her parents said to her. She knew her own abilities.

"Chris and I are getting married," Stephanie said and watched with a kind of sick fascination as her parents tried not to react. She thought she caught a twitch in her father's forehead. "He asked, I accepted and so we're getting married. I'm very happy about it."

"We both are," Chris said. "I know you don't like me, trust me, know _that_ well, but I'm going to make Stephanie happy."

"He already does. Very happy," she said, then turned to him and said in a softer tone, "very happy."

He smiled at her, "Thanks."

"So you're getting married," Vince said, but it wasn't a question.

"Yes and I would like it if you would come, you're my parents and I would like it if you were there, that's really all I wanted to say. Chris and I are getting married and it would mean a lot if you were there."

"When is it?"

"We haven't decided yet."

"Well, we're very busy with the company, if it's on a day that we can't possibly make it, we'd just not be able to be there."

"Oh. Well, we'll let you know. Come on, Snooks."

"No, you know, Stephanie had to force herself to come in here and tell you she was getting married. I know you don't like me, I know you don't like _her_, which boggles my mind, but Stephanie is the most amazing person I've ever known and I'm damn lucky she deems me even an iota worthy of her. We want you there, despite your feelings about us, but if you don't, we're still going to have the best wedding ever. So it's up to you, but don't not come because you have some stupid grudge. This is your daughter."

"We're well aware of who she is, Chris," Linda said.

"Come on, Snooks," she said, literally pulling him out of the room. "Snooks, you shouldn't have done that."

"That pisses me off," he said, "how dare they treat you like that."

"Look, they said they'd try, okay, I have to take that."

"No, you don't."

"I do, look, we'll see, okay."

"If they don't…"

"We'll come to that when we come to that."


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Hope everyone has a happy New Year! Enjoy the chapter and hope you leave a review! :)

* * *

"Stephanie is getting married."

Shane looked up from his plate. He choked a little on his dinner, but tried to hide it. His parents had said it so casually, like they were discussing the weather. He hadn't expected them to say it like that. He knew of his sister's engagement. Apparently they had held a party at some club to celebrate, impromptu he was sure, just like they were. He kept his finger to the pulse of Raw and it was only appropriate that he hear about something as big as this engagement.

Stephanie and Chris were popular backstage. He didn't really understand why. They were flaky and flighty. He didn't get why his sister was so different from the rest of them. He liked order and working and just doing what had to be done to be successful. Stephanie was always running somewhere, talking a mile a minute, and just generally being crazy. Still, they were popular and everyone seemed to like them and they were friends with everyone. Shane didn't make friends here, it was pointless. Everyone who would want to talk to him was a suck-up in some fashion.

"I know," Shane responded in monotone.

"She told you?" Linda asked.

"No, she didn't tell me, I heard people talking about it," Shane told them.

"Oh, so they're actually spreading the word around then?"

"I guess so," he said, "they are getting married."

"We thought that perhaps it was one of their little tricks or something," Linda said, then glanced at Vince. "So they were serious when they said they were getting married. I can't believe she would stoop so low as to marry a wrestler of all things. A wrestler! She could've done so much more."

"I agree," Vince said. "I had such high hopes for her when she was a little girl. I wish she had turned out like you have, Shane."

"Thanks, Dad," Shane said, pushing the food around his plate.

"And of all the wrestlers, Chris Jericho?" Vince scoffed.

"If she had to marry so beneath her, she could've at least gone for one of the more elite wrestlers like Hunter," Linda said. "He would've done, I mean, he wouldn't have been what we wanted, but he'd be better than Chris Jericho."

"Yes, yes he would have," Vince said. "I could've introduced her to so many young lawyers and doctors. She could've had a nice life living here. I think she would've made one of our friend's son's a good wife."

"Did she invite you to the wedding?" Shane asked. He didn't know when exactly the two of them were getting married, but maybe it was soon and the invitations had been sent out. He wasn't really expecting one if he was being honest. He and Stephanie had many differences and were completely different personalities.

"Well, she told us they were getting married and we would be getting an invitation," Vince answered.

"Are you going to go?"

"I don't think so," Linda said, making a distasteful face. "We don't really approve of this wedding or the man she's marrying. I don't think that it'd be in our best interest to go to the wedding."

"Oh, I see," Shane said.

"Yes," Linda said, then went back to her dinner. "Now, if she decides he's not really the man she wants to marry, then I think we might have something here, but we don't think she's going to change her mind and neither will we."

"I understand," Shane said, then went back to eating and the meal went back to the silence that had governed it from the beginning.

Stephanie laughed and shoved Chris in the shoulder. He pretended like it had been a lot harder than it had been and threw himself into the wall. He groaned in pain and Stephanie shook her head at his silliness and pulled him up. He pretended to shove her back and she jumped on him, the both of them now landing against the wall. He banded his arms around her waist and started kissing her in this awkward position.

She moaned slightly, "This is nice, I've always wanted to get a crick in my neck from making out."

"Well, Stephers, I aim to please."

"Will you give me everything I want forever and ever?" she asked him. "Will you get me ricotta cheese for lasagna at two in the morning? Will you go to Hawaii and buy me fresh pineapples so I can make pineapple upside-down cake for Christmas?"

"If that's what you want."

"If I want truffles, will you hire a pig to do the dirty work finding them or will you look for them yourself?"

"I'll root through the dirt for you," he said, pretending like he was reciting poetry to her. "I would do anything for you, Stephers."

"That's appropriately cheesy," Stephanie said with a smile. "So what do you want to do tonight? Do you want to go build a tree house? I've always wanted one, but the robots never let me because it would take too much work and I had a nice, pretty, little dollhouse to play with."

"And who doesn't love little creepy dolls who probably come to life when you're asleep?" Chris asked.

"I know, but tree houses, our future children will have tree houses and by then, they can have electricity and running water and a bathroom and everything," Stephanie said.

"You sure do talk about our future children a lot, Stephers," Chris said, "I'm starting to think there's something you're not telling me."

"Well, I prefer Coke to Pepsi, I'm sorry you had to find out this way! I didn't know how to tell you!" Stephanie said, pretending to sob.

"Well that's a blow, Stephers."

"I know, Snooks, I know."

"We never really talked about kids."

"We did, I'm sure we did, Snooks."

"No, we talked about how _we_ were like kids."

"That is true," she said, "I do like cartoons. Cartoons are good, like _The Flintstones_, when all the animals have different uses and you can always count on one of them saying something very quippy. I think it would be awesome if I could have an elephant for a shower, but if I did, would it be able to get hot water, I wouldn't want the inside of his trunk getting burned, but I wouldn't want to have an ice cold shower."

"I always need an ice cold shower when I'm around you," he growled.

"Why, because you like to enjoy a nice, cool beverage?" she joked.

"Yes, indeed I do," he told her, "but kids, you, me, kids? What are your thoughts, well, I think I know what your thoughts are, you're already planning them out, I bet you have names picked out. So now that's the truth, that's why you want me. You need someone to father your children. You'll probably keep me in a cage until you need me, right, Stephers?"

"Nah, it's more fun when you're around," she told him, winking. "So, we've decided to get married in four months and we should send out invitations. Do you think we should tell Mom and Dad first or should we just send them an invitation and let things fall where they may?"

"Oh, the second, I just wish we could rig up a camera, or, you know what!"

"A tomato isn't a vegetable!"

"It isn't?"

"No, I'm pretty sure it's a fruit."

"Fruit?"

"Yeah."

"I don't eat it like a fruit."

"Maybe you should start eating it like a fruit, like an apple, just bite into it," she told him.

"But then all that junk inside of a tomato will get all over me and it'll be a big, red stain on my shirt and I'll look horrible and nobody will love me and I like girls screaming for me, it boosts my ego."

"I should boost your ego enough. You don't need more ego-boosting. I should do all the ego-boosting for the rest of your life."

"I have no doubt that you will, but if history is any indication, I will inevitably want to find a younger woman, so I'm going to be noticing them at some point, I think I'll probably be around 45 when this happens, just so you can get a countdown clock to make sure you know when it's going to happen."

"That's very considerate of you."

"I think so," Chris said. "I'm just warning you of the potential midlife crisis I surely expect to have. At least I'm not going to have to get hair plugs. Unless I start going bald, but I don't think I'll go bald…do you think I'm going to go bald."

"Dad's not bald."

"That's true, but I heard it comes from your mother's side of the family, oh my God, is my mom bald!"

"A wig…well, sometimes your mom's hair does look a little askew," Stephanie said, rubbing her chin. "And I just realized we're still in the hallway."

Chris looked around and laughed, "We are, maybe we can just have sex right here. We did christen all the other rooms."

"And have our dog walk in on us? Or walk over to us and lie down next to us and it'd be very awkward. He needs a girl is what has to happen here. Maybe we can set him up with a nice poodle or something. Poodles are pretty girly. I think Sam would like a girly girlfriend."

"Since when is Sam our dog?"

"On some level, I think he's _always_ been our dog," Stephanie said, pretending to be philosophical. "Don't you think?"

"No, no I don't think so, considering you had him before we became friends."

"But he thinks of you as a father figure. He looks up to you. You're a role model to him, he wants to be just like you. I mean, he's blond too."

"But his hair is short, when he starts growing it long, let me know," Chris said. "Where is he anyways?"

"My bet is he's acting like we are in another part of the house."

"He's talking with someone?"

"No, Snooks, he's lying down, just like we are," Stephanie said, then pushed Chris down a little to the floor so he was on his back. She started to make out with him more intensely, lying on top of him as his hands ran up her back. They snaked under her shirt. He was glad the hallway was carpeted or this would be a lot more uncomfortable than it was right now. He was still a little uncomfortable, but he wouldn't complain with Stephanie lying on top of him.

They were into each other until they heard the familiar clank of a collar and just like predicted, their dog came up to them, wondering what they were doing and lying down, watching them. Stephanie laughed and pulled away, licking her lips and tasting Chris's lips in the process. She turned her head and saw Sam lying down with his eyes on them. He whimpered a little and Stephanie laid her head down on Chris's chest.

"Hey you, you couldn't wait like fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes, Sam, I take way longer than fifteen minutes, don't listen to her," Chris said, kissing her neck. "Why don't you go grab one of your bones and go chew on it?"

"He's not in the mood," Stephanie said. "He wants to hang out with us."

"You do realize this is exactly how a kid would be, always hanging around. You still want one, just like this, but able to talk and be more annoying and not able to just throw a toy at and then leave?"

"I realize this. But I won't have to pick up poop forever with a kid, so that's a plus over a dog."

"You've got a point there," he said. "So this whole kids thing, you really want to do it at some point in the future? I could get it down in writing and file it away. That way when I inevitably get freaked out at the possibility, you can show the paper and I'll just strip down and climb into bed."

"I like that idea."

"So kids then?"

"Kids then…"


	22. Chapter 22

"These are the cutest invitations!"

Stephanie looked up from the mindless paperwork she had been focusing on. It was like her parents were trying to torture her with meaningless documents. There was no substance to her work this evening and so she was forced to look at this like some sort of punishment for some sort of misdeed, okay, she knew the misdeed was probably the fact she was marrying a guy that her parents had not picked out for her, but to torture her like this. If she were younger, she would be calling the CPS on them. All of this paperwork was stuff that could be processed by her robot brother.

"Huh?" Stephanie asked, looking up at her friend.

Lita waved the invitation in the air as she sat down. "Your invitation for your wedding, you know, that little thing where you pledge your eternal love to someone."

"Oh yeah, that, I completely forgot. Chris isn't even on my mind most of the time, it's a pity wedding, really. I figured since he walked out on his other wedding I'd give him another chance at one."

"I figured this was what was going on," Lita said. "Anyways, I got your invitation and rather than send it back to you, I figured I'd just bring it to you and save on the stamp."

"Very smart, you never know when you're going to need that," Stephanie said. "You do know if I was actually having bridesmaids, you would totally be one of them, right?"

"Wow, am I hearing this correctly, is Stephanie McMahon being…sappy? This can't be true!"

"No, it's not true, if I were being sappy, I'd be wearing a long, flowery dress with lace trim and a wide-brimmed hat and I'd for sure have a little handkerchief in my hand, blowing my nose intermittently except I wouldn't really be crying."

"I didn't expect you to, so why aren't you having any bridesmaids then?"

"Don't need them," Stephanie shrugged. "Why do I need people to stand with me up there? They're not getting married. Plus, they'd probably think anything I picked out was ugly and they'd revolt against me and my dress would be torn and it would just turn into a melee."

"I would think you'd want your wedding to turn into a melee."

"No, no, no, I want my wedding to turn into a fracas, huge difference. And the whole maids thing, I like my friends enough to not want them to be my servants, see how considerate I am of you?"

"Very," Lita said.

"So you thought our invitations were cute? Did you meant cute in the sense like a puppy is cute or cute in the sense that guys are cute? I like to think the cards are like a hot guy cute where it's like, 'oh, I have to fan myself' and then you realize that the invitation can _be_ a fan and everything works out."

"Cute in a puppy way."

"Damn," Stephanie said, snapping her fingers, "and here I was going for the other one."

"Where'd you get the idea?"

"Where do you think I get any of my ideas, I ask my magic 8-ball, duh, Li, it's the go-to thing for all the big decisions in my life. When Chris and I have kids, I'm totally consulting it even before we have sex."

"Seems smart," Lita said. "Anyways, here you go."

She handed Stephanie the invitation and Stephanie looked down at it. She and Chris didn't want some fancy, traditional wedding so nothing was very normal. Their wedding invitations were included in that. The front of their invitation had a couple small drawings. Chris had drawn a picture of Stephanie in her wedding dress and Stephanie had drawn a picture of Chris in his tux. Neither one was an artist so both of them ended up being stick figures. Steph's stick figure was wearing a little dress and veil and saying, "I want to marry Chris, he's SO hot!" and Stephanie's was a little guy in a big bowtie and a top hat saying, "Stephanie is the bestest person EVER!"

She could only imagine what her parents had thought when they saw that.

"Oh good, you're coming, I was worried there for a minute," Stephanie said, pretending to wipe sweat off your brow. "It wouldn't be a party without you trying to drink everyone under the table."

"I still hold the record," Lita nodded. "Everyone cowers in my presence."

"Well, I'm not going against you this time. It's my wedding and I don't think Chris's first act as my lawfully wedded husband should be to hold my hair back as I heave over a toilet."

"That's true love," Lita said. "You should only be so lucky to have a guy who is willing to hold your hair back."

"That'd be true if I thought Chris would do that. I have a feeling he would take pictures of it and then torment me for the rest of our lives, talking about how before we could get it on, I was throwing up and thus making our marriage start off miserably."

"I think the guy is just lucky to get someone after what he pulled with Trish," Lita joked.

"If he does that to me, he better run for his life and even if he did run for his life, I would chase him down and tackle him down and make him eat a mouthful of dirt. He's not going to leave me, I'll handcuff him to me and drag him down the aisle. Besides, he was the one to propose so I'm guessing he'll stick around, granted he proposed to Trish too, but from what I hear, it was nearly an accident, oh God, what if his proposal to _me_ was an accident, I mean, he could've just dumped the candy on the ground and it accidentally spelled out, 'Will you marry me?'"

"Then it was an act of God because what are the chances."

"Computing…computing…computing…5 kajillion to one."

"Wow, you have an internal computer too, I thought it was just Shane."

"My parents gave me the compact size, I break it out every now and then when I need to do complicated math problems."

"So where's your husband-to-be?"

"Wow, I could not hate that term more, I've just decided. I think I'll ban it."

Chris walked down the hallway, taking invitations from various people. A lot of people had the same idea Lita had had. Being as popular as they were, all the invitations were coming back with people coming. Chris and Stephanie knew how to throw a party, that was the long and short of it. They'd once had a circus party with a moon bounce in the backyard just for wrestlers and their families. Everyone expected their wedding to be the biggest party ever.

"Hey, dude, I'm so there!" Edge said, slapping him five as he passed, handing the invitation to Chris.

"Awesome!" Chris said, slapping him five back. "Bringing anyone?"

"You know it," Edge said with a wink.

"Cool, cool," Chris said, walking down the hallway.

"Chris, what do you and Stephanie want as wedding gifts?" someone called out to him.

Chris patted his chin a little, "Well, I know the wife would want anything food-related, maybe a barrel of cheese, she'll go through it in a week. If you can't find that, we don't want any gifts, we're just going to donate anything to charity."

"Okay cool, no gifts then."

"Well, you can bring something if you want to bring it to charity, it'd be cool of you. Pass it on to everyone. By the time it gets back to me, I bet it's going to be something like we want to rule Australia with kangaroos as our servants…actually, now that I think about it, that's what I want."

"We'll try!"

"Great," Chris said, jazzed about everything positive being said about his wedding. He was really excited to be marrying Stephanie and life just felt good. Even with her parents being completely opposed to the wedding, he was still on cloud nine. This was the life, just being with the woman you adored. His cell phone rang in his pocket and he pulled it out. "Chris Jericho here, lay it on me."

"You're getting married!"

Chris chuckled, "Hey Mom, what's up?"

"You and Stephanie are getting married! Why didn't you tell us?"

"We wanted it to be a surprise, Mom. I mean, sure, we could've come up there and given you a boring announcement with our boring voices or we could've done it the cool way, with total and complete surprise, like a bomb being dropped, but a bomb of gum drops and bubble gum or chewed-up gum."

"Well, it's about time! I've been thinking you two should be married for _years_ now."

Chris looked up and saw Trish right in front of him. He'd nearly run into her. "Hey, Mom, can I get back to you in a bit? I'll call you with the little woman and you can scream at both of us."

"Good, I plan to."

"Bye, love you."

"Love you too."

Chris hung up the phone and looked at Trish. "Hey, Trish."

"Hey," she said, looking at his full hand. "Those are you wedding invitations, huh?"

Chris almost felt like hiding them behind his back or coming up with some elaborate magic trick that would make them disappear or turn into doves or something and then they could fly away and tell Stephanie who was coming to the wedding and who wasn't, even though everyone was, but maybe the doves would lie. But before all that, Stephanie would have to _learn_ dove in order to answer properly. Unless, part of the magic trick was to have the invitations tied to the feet of the doves and then she could just read them.

"Uh, not really, they're more like fliers," he told her and then asked himself why he answered so stupidly.

"Oh, fliers for your wedding?"

"Well, yeah, we're just having a party, that's all," he said. "I meant, a wedding party, not like a wedding party because Stephanie doesn't want bridesmaids and I'm not having a best man…"

"I got it," Trish said shortly.

"We didn't tell people to bring them today," Chris told her. He hadn't sent her one for the obvious reasons.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"We really didn't. Look, Trish…"

"I get it, Chris, I get it, trust me. You're not out to hurt me, you're not out to do anything to me. We've moved on, so nothing is wrong. You're just getting married and you should be happy, I just hope you show up for it this time."

"Trish, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you like that and yes, I should've talked to you before it happened and I'm very sorry I didn't do that."

"Are you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Whatever, go have your happy wedding," she said, pushing past him. Chris shook his head. There was nothing he could do to rectify that situation so he just shouldn't even try. Trish wasn't going to get over what happened and he couldn't say he blamed her too much. He had left her at the altar, literally, and that had to be something you don't just get over. He wasn't the type of guy who deliberately hurt people so this stung him as well. He ended up walking dejectedly into Stephanie's office and saw her sitting there, turning an invitation over in his hands.

"Hey, you," he told her. "I come bringing more invitations. They're all yeses, we are so popular. I think everyone is waiting for us to throw this huge party so I think we should instead hold a really fancy wedding and then when everyone walks in, they think that they're at a different wedding and they get all confused and then we jump out dressed like cowboys or something and yell surprise at them."

"They're not coming," she said, looking up at him with a pathetic shrug.

"What?" he said, not really paying attention to what she said because he was thinking about where he might procure some spurs for the cowboy boots he owned.

"They're not coming."

"Who's not coming?" he asked curiously.

"My parents."


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming. :)

* * *

"What do you mean they're not coming?"

"Snooks, I couldn't make it any clearer unless I got a skywriter to write it across the sky and by the time he gets finished the beginning is already going to be blending into the sky itself and it'll end up saying something silly like, 'Get free chicken at the car wash.' My parents aren't coming to the wedding."

"There has to be some mistake," Chris said. "Maybe they signed it in invisible ink and you need to breathe on it in order to read it. Or this is a joke invitation that they photocopied and sent."

"My parents joke? They don't know the meaning of the word unless it's to humiliate someone," Stephanie sighed, looking at the invitation again. "It says here, very clearly, with a checkmark that looks like it came from a computer that they will not be coming to the wedding."

"That's impossible, they're your parents. Lord knows they haven't been the best parents ever because let's face it, you're an anomaly with your complete rock-icity, but they're your parents."

"I know who they are, Snooks, I've only spent the past twenty-five or so odd years trying to get away from that fact," Stephanie said, placing the invitation very carefully on the desk in front of her. It almost felt so delicate, like a piece of fine china.

There, sitting right in front of her was the proof of what her parents really thought of her. Despite her jokes and utter inability to be serious, she believed truly that her parents, somewhere deep inside where their hearts were two sizes two small, at least one small portion loved her and cared about her. She'd done the best she could with her life. She was never destined to be proper. She likened herself to Jo from _Little Women_, a book she'd read some time ago. She was wild and free and could never bee perfection nor did she want to be. She'd only been Stephanie, the Stephanie she'd wanted to be.

But here now, it was proof, hard evidence. She could show it to any judge and they would tell her, "Oh yes, yes, this makes it quite clear that your parents do not favor you one bit." This was her wedding, one of the most important days of her life and they would not be there. She knew, quite well, that they did not like Chris or approve of this relationship. They'd never really approved of any of her relationships so why start now. She was never going to fall for someone like a doctor or a lawyer or someone rigid like her parents (not to say that all lawyers and doctors were like that, but the ones her parents knew were). Still, despite that, it was her wedding, something very important to her and they had decided they had something better to do.

"I can't believe this," Chris said, grabbing the invitation to look for himself. And yes, there it was, staring him in the face. There wasn't even an explanation on it, a little note that said, "Sorry, going on vacation that day," or "We'd love to come, but your father is getting a lobotomy." It was just a lonely check mark in the box next to "Will not be attending."

"It's okay," Stephanie said, shaking it off like she'd shaken so many things off before. When she was growing up, she'd have plays and recitals, but her parents had always been too busy to come see her in anything or if they weren't busy, they didn't find whatever she was doing engaging enough to attend. Why should this be any different?

"No, this is not okay, this is unacceptable," Chris told her, looking up from the invitation. "Did your mom or dad give this to you?"

"My dad had his assistant deliver it," she answered.

"He couldn't even bring it himself, the coward," Chris said and he was fuming. It took a lot for Chris to lose his temper. He was such an even-keeled guy, liked by so many, and he relished in that nice guy image. But when he got angry, he got _angry_. It would bubble below the surface, turning his normally peaceful face into a sneered one and she never liked to see that because it just wasn't _Chris_, at least not the one she loved and had loved for so long.

"Snooks, don't make a big deal out of this, please," Stephanie pleaded with him. "It's not that big a deal. Part of me thought they wouldn't come anyways."

"I don't care," Chris told her. "I don't care what you may have thought. These are your _parents_, Stephers. I mean, God, who the hell doesn't come to their child's wedding. In the event Shane ever finds a female robot, I'm sure they'd attend that wedding."

"Well, luckily for me he's never found a female robot with all the working parts or the emotion chips," Stephanie said, giving him a weak smile. She was trying to be brave. Hell, she was the bravest person he knew, what other girl would follow a guy around who kept telling her to get lost? Still, there was only so much a person could be brave about. This was a crushing blow to her.

Chris had known Stephanie for too long to be satisfied with her words when he could look at her. They'd been friends forever it seemed and they had talked, sometimes even seriously, about anything and everything and he felt like he had turned over nearly every stone Stephanie had. Sure, there were probably a few scattered at the outer edges of the Stephanie garden, but he was working his way towards those. He went over to her and leaned back against the desk, facing her. He ran his hand tenderly down the side of her head until he was cupping her cheek. Then he leaned down and pressed a small kiss to her lips.

"They don't deserve someone like you. They never have."

"You've only known me part of my life…maybe when I was around three or something I did some irreversible damage to them and that's why they've made me the pariah in the family," she told him.

"Anything a 3-year-old you could do would probably be adorable, even if it was something like spilling grape juice on the white carpet…do you recall any incidents like that?"

"Not clearly," she said, then sighed. "It'll be okay, right, them not there? I mean, I don't need them at my wedding, right? We're going to have a great party and it'll probably be better that they're not there because then I won't have to act proper at all. I mean, I'm planning to rap my vows, you know?"

"Damn it, that was my idea," he said, tracing her jaw with his finger. "Now I'm going to need to hire some circus performers for my vows just to upstage you."

"Well, I'll have a rip-away skirt so I can look like a ho when I'm doing my vows."

He kissed her again. "Everything will be fine…did you get an answer from Shane?"

"No, you'd think I would," she said, "not that I don't know his answer already. If my parents said no, then he for sure said no. He probably sent it in the mail since that's the proper way to do things and if anyone's brain is wired to do things correctly, it's Shane's."

"That's true, it'll probably be waiting for us at home, maybe it'll have a self-destruct mechanism attached to it and it'll explode and then we'll have soot all over our faces and our hair will be sticking straight up and we'll have shocked looks on our faces."

She smiled at him. She couldn't imagine herself with someone boring guy who did the right thing all the time. She wasn't that type of person and she couldn't ever appease her parents. Chris was the man she wanted. In a lot of ways, she was the man she'd always wanted. When other relationships had failed, Chris was always there, telling her she'd find someone, telling her that she was awesome and giving her pep talks. Neither one realized that everything they really needed was right there.

"I'll be sure to wear my bomb-resistant suit when I get the mail at home," Stephanie laughed.

"Good," he said. "Look, parents or not, we're going to have the best wedding ever. They're going to bring in the Guinness Book of World Records and we are going to win for 'Best Wedding' or 'Craziest Wedding,' and we don't need your parents there to strip us of that award."

"You're right, it'll be great either way."

"Do you want to call my parents and hear them yell and whoop it up about our wedding invitations? I think my mom is about ready to burst through the phone. She's probably flying over here now and you'd think, 'oh, she's on a plane,' but no, I think this news actually made her airborne. I think it made her so happy she sprouted wings and she's flying to us right now and maybe she's flying next to a plane and a man is sitting there and he looks out and sees her over the wing and she waves and he waves back, then realizes what he just saw, looks again and my mom is gone."

"That would really save her on plane tickets," Stephanie said and Chris could tell she was still a little upset, but trying to break free from her melancholy. "I'd like to call them."

It would be therapeutic to talk to Chris's parents. They were on the complete other end of the spectrum that her parents were on. While her parents were completely against the wedding and wouldn't come, she pictured Chris's mom telling the minister (or sea captain if that's what they decided, maybe she could dress up like a mermaid and Chris like a sailor) to hurry it on up, or forcibly push her down the aisle if she walked too fast. Maybe she would even push the minster (or Elvis if they decided on a theme wedding and she could dress up as Priscilla and Chris could be young Elvis) out of the way and start presiding over the ceremony herself.

Chris called his parents on the office phone sitting on Stephanie's desk and put it on speaker. It rang a couple of times and then Chris's mother's voice piped up, "Hello?"

"Hey, Mom, it's me, promising to call you back like I said."

"Oh, Christopher, hello."

"Hey, Mom, I'm here too," Stephanie added.

"Stephanie! Oh, it's so good to have you both…now that I'm talking to the two of you…why the hell didn't we know that you were getting married before this!"

Stephanie laughed, "Chris and I wanted to keep it a surprise. We thought it'd be better that way. Like you had to be kept in suspense, toiling away the hours, constantly thinking about when he would finally ask, if I would accept, if we could set a date before we both got bored of the idea and decided to go surfing instead and then when you're thinking of all that, there's the invitation!"

"Well it was certainly a surprise. I went out and got the mail and saw something from the both of you, but I had no idea it would be a wedding invitation because it didn't look like your typical wedding invitation. I thought it was one of you sending me something and being a tattletale on the other and I was very prepared to call you and lecture you and I open it and I see it's a wedding invitation and for a moment I didn't even think it was yours and then I saw your names and a date and everything."

"It's real too, we promise."

"It better be real or I'm disowning the both of you," she told them sternly. "Your father is over the moon about this too. He's just as happy as I am."

"So I'm guessing you both will be attending the wedding then," Chris said.

"We want front row tickets, are you kidding me, I want to be standing up there with you after all the times I've said the two of you should be together, but did you ever listen to me when I told you the most _obvious_ thing in the world, no? Now I think you'll learn to realize that I'm right at all times."

"I don't think so, Mom," Chris told her.

"Oh, but I called it way before you knew it, so this is all mine. I'm so excited though. Stephanie, you are going to be my real daughter, you are going to be mine, you hear that. You are now my daughter just as much as Chris is my son."

"Thanks, Mom," Stephanie said, grinning at Chris as he kissed her temple. "I like the thought of that."

"Good, I've just got a lot of time to make up spoiling you and first on that list, I am going to be there when you get your dress, no if's, and's, or but's, I'm there and I am going to help you. What do you think you want?"

"Hey, I'm going to get out of here for a while, okay?" Chris told her. He didn't want to be part of this conversation and he had things he needed to do.

Stephanie nodded as Loretta rambled on and on about what kind of dress Stephanie should wear. Chris walked down the hallway, ignoring everyone as he had one goal and one purpose on his mind. He found the door that said "Vince McMahon" on it and he took a deep breath. He'd been curbing his anger for Stephanie's sake, but he'd been planning to come here when he got a free moment. Hearing his mother talking about how Stephanie was her daughter now had brought that feeling of anger pounding back to his chest, stomping its way in.

He grasped the doorknob and went inside. He was glad, Linda was there too. He looked off to the side and saw Shane as well. He didn't know what Shane's deal was with the wedding, but since he probably wasn't coming, he could hear this too. Vince and Linda looked pissed that he had just barged in here and Vince started to stand up.

"Just what do you think--"

"Shut up," Chris told him in a voice that meant business. Vince looked at him, glared was a more apt word, and then slowly sat down. "You're going to sit down and shut up."

"I am your b--"

"I don't give a damn what you are," Chris told him. "Yeah, you control my professional life, but I don't give a damn. You can fire me after what I have to say, I don't care because I'm going to say it anyways."

"We don't care what you have to say," Vince said.

"Oh, you're going to care," Chris said, his jaw setting as he slammed his hands on the desk. "You are going to care and you are going to listen to every goddamned word I'm about to say."

Vince opened his mouth again, but Chris cut him off. "How dare you treat your daughter the way you're treating her! Do you realize she's your daughter, huh? Oh, she's not perfect like we are, she's not prim and proper and she doesn't fit into Connecticut society, who cares! She's your daughter, you are supposed to love her in spite of things, you're her parents for God's sakes! Not coming to her wedding because you don't like _me_, seriously, that's how you want to go about things? What the hell did I ever do to you? I've been a damn good wrestler for a very long time, but more importantly, I love your daughter with everything I have. I have been her friend for years, yeah, I know, you hate that too, but I have been there for her when she's had ups and downs and God help me, I love her. I love her so much that when I picture my future, when I've _always_ pictured my future, since the moment I met her, she's been there. She is my future and I love her and that's not enough for you! Fine, I don't care what you think of me, but she's your daughter, your flesh and blood and you're snubbing her because you can't get over something. How dare you make her feel like she's nothing!

"She's everything, she's the best thing that could've ever happened in my life and for God's sake, she's the best thing to happen to yours too if you would just _look _at her the way other people see her. Do you know there's not one person on this roster that doesn't like her? She's amazing and everyone likes her, you can't help it if you're really around her. But God forbid you actually take the time to get to know your own _daughter_. But you know what, if you don't want to come to our wedding if you don't want to see Stephanie on the biggest day of our lives, fine, it's your loss. It's your loss that you'll never know how wonderful your daughter is or how lucky I am to have her in my life. It's fine, if you don't want us in your lives, you don't have to be in ours."

Chris walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Shane stared at it a moment, "You guys aren't going to the wedding?"

"No, we decided not to," Vince said, glancing at Linda. "We feel it's the right decision. They can have their wedding, but we won't be there."

"Oh," Shane said.

Sitting in Shane's suitcase at that very moment was an invitation marked "Yes, I will be attending."


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Thanks for the reviews for this, I do love writing this story and I like this chapter. I hope you do too and reviews are awesome. :)

* * *

"Where have you been, Snooks?"

Chris looked over at Stephanie. "Well, I was researching how much it would cost to get the robots into space. I figure if they're letting regular people in space now, now that I'm going to marry into a super-rich family, if we could somehow steal all the robot's money and send them in space. I mean, how great would that be, they could send us postcards from Saturn. Of course the postcards would be something like, 'Wish you weren't here' because they'd kind of downers.

Stephanie pretended to ponder for a moment. "Well, if there have been monkeys in space, surely they could send the robots up there. Maybe they'd collide with an asteroid."

"Which in turn would save Earth!"

"But then they'd be heroes," Stephanie pointed out.

"Oh, that's right, then that's a no go. Hey, maybe we could send them on a super drill thing to the core of the Earth, I don't think they would be heroes for that."

"That is true," Stephanie said, coming over and kissing him. "So come on, Snooks, where were you really? Were you cheating on me already? Are you already going out with some girl friend that you have and kissing her and having second thoughts about our wedding? Is it Lita? It's Lita, huh?"

"Damn it, you've figured me out again," Chris said. "I really think that you're like a bloodhound and you can just sniff out whatever I've been doing."

"Are you trying to say that I have a big nose?"

"If you had a big nose, I might say you were better suited for Asshole, but since you don't have one and in fact, have a very nice nose, I'd say you were much, much better for me," Chris told her. "As for other women, there are no other women in my life, they've become completely obsolete. They've all turned to men in my mind."

"Well that must make Mom a little awkward-looking," Stephanie said, tapping her chin.

"She's the exception."

"Because she's your mommy," Stephanie teased.

"Yeah, you say that now, Stephers, but she loves you more than she loves me so she's your mommy...how did your conversation go by the way?"

"Well, seems she's been planning our wedding since she first found out that I'm double-jointed, why I decided that should be the first thing she knows about me, I don't know. Maybe I need a better thing to lead off the conversation with."

"Well, the first thing you told me after you spilled burning hot liquid all over me was that you were usually not this clumsy, which was a lie because you've since proven that you _are_ that clumsy so you shouldn't lead off with the not clumsy thing, so I'd stick with the double-jointed thing, it works for you."

"Why thank you," she told him. "So, let's get--"

"Physical, physical," he sang, "well, if that's what you really want, I've got some time to spare. Let me just undo my pants and I'll be ready to go."

"No, let's get serious, stern faces, man, stern faces," she said, pulling a face at him. "Just where did you disappear to? I know you don't have a teleportation device stored in your back pocket, so you must've been within our own timeline."

"I just had things to do."

"Secretive, not good," she said, sniffing at his shirt. "Hmm, I smell the distinct scent of a lie at foot and a hint of peppermint, were you eating a candy cane by chance?"

"I was not."

"Interesting, so you were around someone who smells like peppermint, someone who likes candy I believe, who may carry peppermint wherever they go, very intriguing, sir, very intriguing indeed."

"You ate a peppermint candy earlier and then I made out with you," he shrugged.

"Damn, that's right. Where were you?"

"Nowhere."

"Where were you?"

"Everywhere."

"Where were you?"

"Inside the pure heart of every child."

"Where were you?"

There was a knock that interrupted them and Stephanie looked at it intensely. "No matter how hard you look at it, your laser vision won't kick in just yet. You haven't yet unlocked the true power of your brain."

Stephanie went over and opened the door. It was her brother and she sighed and relaxed her back so she felt over. "Powering down...powering down...powering....down..."

"Very funny," Shane said, looking down at her. "I came to talk to you."

"You're going to have to tell her to power up, she's voice-activated," Chris told him.

"I'm not telling her that."

"She'll just stand there," Chris told him.

"She can't stand there all night," Shane said.

"You'd be surprised, she has won standing awards. She just stands there and stands there. One time I found her just standing in the closet, no reason, just standing there."

"I'm not telling her to power up," Shane said.

"Power up, power up, power up," Stephanie said, quickly, assuming a robot pose. "Detecting another robot...Model 19342343, Shane-bot, must annihilate, must destroy!"

"Okay, very funny," Shane said, pushing himself into the room. "I just came to give you guys this."

He held out the envelope to Chris. Stephanie came over and took it from him. She looked down at it a moment and then held it up against her forehead. "I'm sensing words...yes, words...I can't get a clear vision of it, but I'm feeling that there's a no...a big, fatly written no on it."

"I'm coming," Shane told her.

Stephanie nearly dropped the envelope and she looked suspiciously at her brother. She ripped open the envelope and indeed, her brother had checked the yes box and that he'd be having the chicken. She'd always figured him for a steak guy. She looked over at her brother standing there, not a hair out of place and then at Chris, who was peering over at the invitation like he didn't believe it either. She had to look at it again and then up at her brother.

"You're coming."

"That was the plan."

"What's your angle, McMahon?" she asked accusingly. She didn't know why she was actually accusing her brother of doing anything nefarious, but she also didn't know why, if her parents were not coming, her brother would come to her wedding. Unless he didn't know. "I don't know if you know, but Mom and Dad aren't coming."

"I know that," he told her. Shane glanced at Chris, thinking back to that impassioned speech he'd given on Stephanie's behalf. He'd never seen anyone so passionate about another person. Nobody he ever associated with back home in Connecticut got that riled up. Everyone lived their normal lives with all their secrets and pent-up frustration staying just that way, pent-up. Nobody stepped out of line like Chris had done just a short while ago.

"You know...and you're still coming? Shane, this will definitely take you out of the will."

Shane took a deep, sharp breath, "I don't agree with what they're doing."

"What are they doing?" Stephanie asked, honestly not sure what he was talking about. Surely he was coming as a spy for his parents. He would probably make a bootleg copy of the ceremony and send it to their parents so they could scrutinize their wedding and then give her a list of all the things she could've improved on, number one on that list would be something along the lines of getting a new husband.

"Not coming to the wedding."

"What, you don't...agree with that?" Stephanie asked, still not sure what he was getting at.

"No, I mean," he looked down, shaking his head. He was obviously computing his next words carefully, analyzing them and how they would sound and if there were going to be enough prepositions or if there was subject-verb agreement. "Look, I'm not...like you--"

"I think that's been pretty clear since I was born," Stephanie nodded.

"And you may be...odd to me," he said, trying to put it nicely.

"Odd, good choice of word, doesn't make me feel like too much of a freak, but makes me feel just uncomfortable enough to want to be any place else right now."

"You're still my sister though and you're getting married," Shane finished, ignoring what she had said. "So yeah, I may not get along with you like a really close sibling, but you're getting married and you're my family."

"I don't want you there because you pity me," she told him.

"I don't pity you. This has nothing to do with Mom and Dad not going. I'd already filled out the invitation before I even knew they weren't going. I'd always planned to go. This has nothing to do with pity and everything to do with being a family."

"Wow, so you're actually telling the truth? You really just want to come to my wedding because you want to be there for me?"

She was actually in shock. She figured that because her parents weren't going to come, that would automatically eliminate Shane from the guest list. For so long he had only done what their parents asked that to see him go against the grain on something so big was a surprise to her. It was a nice one though because the thought of nobody from her family bothering to attend something so important to her did hurt her, somewhere deep inside where she cared what her family thought of her.

"Yeah, I want to go to your wedding because you're my sister and well, you're my sister," he said sheepishly.

"Thank you," she told him, genuinely touched that he would come in here and tell all this to her.

"It's nothing. I just...Mom and Dad are wrong here. Getting married is a huge deal and even if they don't agree with who you're marrying, you're their daughter and if you're happy then they should let you be happy. You seem happy to me."

"I _am_ happy," she expressed, grabbing Chris's hand for fortitude. "I'm very happy in fact. I know what I want."

"That's good," Shane said, glancing at Chris. He had a newfound respect for the man after the display. This guy could, no scratch that,_ would_ be good to his sister. They were very much like each other and they did look happy when he saw them and they looked happy right now as well. The least he could do was be as supportive as he could be. "Um, there was also something else."

"More surprises, I don't think my heart can take it, I may need the smelling salts, Snooks," Stephanie said, fanning herself with the invitation. "I do declare, I feel the vapors coming on."

"I was offering...if you needed it...only if you need it, I mean, not to press..."

"You've short-circuited, Shane, just spit it out."

"I was going to offer to walk you down the aisle if you wanted."

Stephanie, had she been a more emotional person, would have teared up at those words. As it was, she _was_ choked up by them and she placed a hand on her heart. "Really, Shane?"

"You deserve the best wedding you can have."

"Wow," Stephanie said. She looked at Chris and he just looked back at her. He didn't want to take credit for this sudden change and he wouldn't. This whole thing seemed like Shane had thought about and mulled it over. He couldn't take credit for that and if he couldn't take credit for it, maybe Shane was a better man than either he or Stephanie had given him credit for. "I don't know what to say."

"If you don't want me to, it's fine, I'm just offering up my services I guess."

"Well, I hadn't planned on having...you know what, I'd like that, Shane, I really would."

"Great," he said, giving her an actual, non-robotic smile.

"How would you like to have dinner with us tonight? I promise we won't slurp up our spaghetti or anything."

"I cannot however guarantee that I won't blow bubbles in my soda," Chris added. Stephanie and Chris looked at him, not expecting him to say yes, but it seemed today was just full of surprises.

"You know what, I'd like that."


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, hope you like the chapter. :)

* * *

Shane didn't quite know what to expect on a dinner with Chris and Stephanie. He knew what to expect at a dinner with his parents. The conversation would be limited to work and the occasional flutter of conversation about someone they knew, some neighbor who had gotten some banal reward or a bit of gossip that they would forget immediately because gossiping was so beneath them. He _knew_ what he was getting into when he went to dinner with his parents and it was his world so he was never afraid of it.

When it came to his sister and her fiancé, on the other hand, he had no idea what to expect. When he pictured them having dinner, he pictured a circus for some reason, Stephanie hanging upside down with a trapeze and Chris in clown makeup (which wasn't too far-fetched considering Chris had once disguised himself as Doink). He could just see himself, sitting there, surrounded by craziness and he suddenly wondered what the hell he was getting into with all of this. He knew they had probably just asked him to be polite, they did look a little surprised when he accepted, but he'd accepted and that was that.

It just all boiled down to the fact that he didn't agree with what his parents were doing to his sister. He wouldn't really count this as a rebellion, Shane had never been the rebellious type, but it felt like a defiance for sure. He was defying something his parents were set against, but what they were set against was so trivial. What was the good in missing their daughter's wedding? Stephanie may be a lot of things, a lot of _weird_ things, but even Shane knew she was a good and decent person who didn't deserve to be treated this way.

And what about the future? He figured that Stephanie and Chris might someday procreate, were his parents just going to revolt against their own grandchild? He was not opposed to children and if Stephanie and Chris had one, he hated to think that he'd ignore it just because he and Stephanie didn't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. It just boiled down to that. Was he going to be petty because he and Stephanie were different? He didn't want to be petty like that. He may be a lot of things, but petty and cruel, he didn't think so.

He was meeting them at the restaurant, Mexican they said, asking him if that was alright and while he didn't have Mexican food often, he liked it well enough. He pulled up to the place following their directions. They seemed to know every city they stayed in because they'd rattled off the directions to the place off the top of their heads. He started walking up and saw them standing outside the restaurant. Chris was leaning against the wall and Stephanie was pressed against him, not doing anything, just standing there, her chin on his shoulder as she spoke to him.

He walked up and Chris saw him first, pushing Stephanie away a little, "Hey, Shane."

"Hey, Shane," Stephanie said, her voice not robotic, her movements not jerky, no teasing in her voice and it was a refreshing change. "I almost didn't think you'd show up. I figured that Mom and Dad would've sent a helicopter to monitor you and then get a hypnotist to make you see the error of your ways."

"No, none of that," he said and he tried to sound casual about it, but casual for him was wearing a polo shirt and going to lunch at the club, not...this. Not that this was unusual, not like they were doing anything unusual. They were just standing there looking like a couple.

"Come on, let's go inside," Chris said as he opened the door for Stephanie, then allowing Shane to go through before he brought up the rear. Shane looked around. The place was certainly loud. There was a mariachi band playing somewhere and a lot of people singing along. He instantaneously felt out of place and pulled at the bottom of his polo shirt a little bit. Sure, he'd been in loud place before, but there was just something very nerve-racking about being here with his sister. He hoped she didn't end up dancing on a table.

Stephanie told them they were here and she apparently had made a reservation or something because they were seated immediately. Chris helped Stephanie into her seat and Shane was struck by how gentlemanly that was of him, but he didn't know enough about Chris to know if he was a gentleman or not. He just seemed silly most of the time so he didn't really know much else besides him, save for how he was in the ring.

"What are you getting?" Chris asked Stephanie as Shane looked at the menu.

"I'm thinking burrito, but then do I want a burrito when I know they have those awesome chile rellenos here? Plus, if I get the burrito I don't get the rice and I want the rice, I always want the rice."

"The rice is _in _the burrito," he pointed out.

"But Snooks, that's not rice by itself, that's rice in the burrito, it's included in the whole burrito, therefore it ceases to be rice, but in fact, just an element of the burrito itself," Stephanie told him.

"Then get the other thing and then order a burrito to go and you can eat it tomorrow," he suggested.

"Brilliant, I'm doing that," she said, leaning over to kiss him. "What would I possibly do without you?"

"You would live a burrito-less existence and be forced to never leave your house, I don't know why, but I think a life without burritos would constitute becoming a hermit, don't you think?" Chris asked.

"Well, of course I do," she said, "what are you getting?"

"Tacos."

"Yum, what kind, beef, don't get the beef, get the pork, okay," she said.

"What if I want the beef? You can't tell me how to eat, you know, there's nothing I've ever done that tells you that you can tell me how to eat. I don't tell you to lay off the Red Vines, do I, Stephers, maybe I want the beef."

"Fine, get what you want," she said, sticking her tongue out at him. "What are you getting, Shane?"

Shane had just been watching them with a strange fascination, like they were exhibits at the zoo. They were very much in tune with each other and they played off each other well. He'd never really observed it like this before. Sure, he'd seen it from afar, but never up close. He could see where people would think they were a fun couple and want to hang out with them all the time. No wonder they were so popular.

"I think I'm going to get the chicken enchiladas."

"A formidable choice," she nodded with approval. The waiter came over and took their drink orders, Stephanie ordering some huge margarita that came in a glass that seemed almost as big as her head. She took a sip before offering Chris a sip. He took a sip from her straw and then pushed it back across the table to her.

"So," Shane started, "have you guys made a lot of plans for the wedding? It's not too far away, is it?"

"We've given ourselves a few months," Stephanie answered. "I think that's enough time, unfortunately, we weren't able to get the circus animals that we really wanted. I was going to come in riding a zebra while Chris arrived on an elephant, it would've been epic."

"I did not want the elephant, I wanted to be the Liontamer because hello, Lionheart, it would've only been appropriate for me to be the liontamer."

"Okay, okay, go stick your head in a lion's mouth, Snooks," Stephanie said. "We've decided that we're just going to have it on this estate that we found in Connecticut. It's going to be nice."

"Traditional?"

"Oh, God no," Stephanie said. "We've got a few tricks up our sleeve. Just because it's in a traditional place does not mean it's going to be a traditional wedding, not by a long shot. It's probably better that Mom and Dad don't come because if they thought they were going to stick out like a sore thumb before, they are definitely going to stick out like a sore thumb now."

"They still should come though," Shane said. "I don't understand why they won't. I mean, I do, but I don't."

Stephanie shrugged. "I'm not going to let it affect me, but Shane, come on. Look, maybe you don't know this, but I'm not like Mom and Dad and I never have been. We don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things and one of the biggest is Chris. And if they're not willing to compromise or accept, I'm not going to bother with it."

Chris grabbed Stephanie's hand. "We'll just go about our business and they can go about theirs."

"Exactly," Stephanie said. "I mean, I care that they're not going to be there, but if they're not going to be there, I'm still going to have the best, craziest, zaniest, wackiest, tackiest wedding, minus the tacky, I was just trying to go for something that rhymed with wacky and that was the first thing that came to my mind. Jackiest didn't sound right."

"I'm happy to be there for you."

"You know, Shane, you're alright," Stephanie said, deepening her voice. "I really do appreciate that you're coming. You know, Shane, you're not a bad guy, I mean, yes, I do think you're part robot and someday, your circuitry is going to burst free from your chest and I'm going tell everyone that I knew it before hiring the best computer guy to come over and reprogram you, but overall, you're a good guy, if you just came out of that upper-crust, nose-in-the-air, snobby crust."

"I hear the snobby crust is quite delicious though," Chris said, "very well seasoned."

"Of course, that's why it's snobby, all in the seasonings, Snooks."

"I'm not like you guys," Shane said.

"Nobody is like us, you see, very early in our friendship, Chris and I were both abducted by aliens and given totally new alien-like brains. It explains a lot, doesn't it?"

"It does."

"We're not saying be like us, because we're awesome," Chris said to which Stephanie nodded somberly. "Nobody could replace us."

"Except the clones we've been fostering in our basement. They're coming along nicely, they're toddlers right now."

"Yeah, that's true, but pretend you didn't hear that," Chris said, "but you could probably lighten up a little bit, just a little, a smidge, you can start by unbuttoning the top button on your shirt, I mean, come on Shane, both buttons, lighten up."

Stephanie laughed. "Unbutton, unbutton..."

"See, the lady wants it to happen," Chris said, jerking a thumb towards Stephanie.

"Don't you get tired of living so strait-laced, Shane?" Stephanie asked. "It's not like we're asking you to come over to the dark side or as I prefer it, the side of lights and rainbows and puppy-dog tails of awe and wonderment, but don't you just get tired of being under Mom and Dad's thumb all the time? I got sick of it in the womb."

"They're our parents, though, they've done their best."

"I acknowledge that they have tried," Stephanie said. "But at some point, cut the cord. You can't be tethered to them forever. Who was the last girl you dated that _you_ chose to date and wasn't introduced to you by Mom because she felt like the girl was of the right substance to be dating her precious son?"

"Mom just wants the best for me."

"Is that what _you_ want? If I let Mom get the best for me, I wouldn't be with Chris, but _I_ know that Chris is what's best for me because nobody else is going to put up with what I like to call my little quirks."

"I like to call them annoyances."

"Quirks, Snooks."

"Annoyances, Stephers."

"Anyways," Stephanie said, ignoring him. "I know what's best for me and surely you have enough programmed in you to know what's good for you. Don't let Mom and Dad hold you back. Look at yourself, you're already defying them by coming to my wedding. It felt good, didn't it? I bet it felt good to do something that they didn't want, right?"

Shane thought about it for a moment and it actually did feel kind of exhilarating. He loved his parents, but maybe they didn't know everything. They'd shown that with not coming to Stephanie's wedding. He was capable of making his own decisions and sometimes he did feel stifled by them and their influence over him. He didn't always like his mom setting him up with some woman who was all style and no substance. There were only so many times Shane could hear about being part of the country club or some Daughters of the Revolution crap that he had no interest in.

"You know, it did feel kind of good," he admitted, though the admission was more to himself than to either Chris or Stephanie.

"We've succeeded, give me one up top!" Stephanie said, holding her hand up to Chris, which he slapped deftly. "The final fortress has fallen and we shall be victorious in the face of the evil powers. Rejoice, for today is truly one of victory!"

Shane just unbuttoned the top button of his shirt.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys, I know this story is pretty crazy, but I'm glad you're along for the ride. If you want, leave a review, they are much loved and appreciated and they make my day so why not leave one, right? :P

* * *

"Well I would say that was a victory for us."

"I would say it was that, yes," Chris said as they went into their house later that evening. Stephanie went inside first and Chris followed, his arms laden with the extra food from the restaurant. "I really didn't expect him to be so gung ho about loosening up."

"Where do you think the phrase gung ho came from? Is it another language?"

"It might be alienense," Chris said.

"But gung ho, it sounds slightly Chinese, but I don't want to be presumptuous and just attribute it to them erroneously, it could mean something horrible in their language and I wouldn't want to offend anyone."

"More than you offend most people, right, Stephers?"

"The only people I offend are the robots and that's because their wiring is not advanced enough to understand my human complexities."

"I see, but still, your brother was ready to loosen up."

"Well, when you've spent the last thirty or so years being wound up tighter than a thread on a spool or being wound of tighter than a rubber band about to be shot at someone at high velocity creating that perfect little snap as it hits against their skin, who wouldn't want to loosen up after that!"

"I know I would."

"You're already pretty loose."

"I do yoga, plus, you're pretty loose too, Stephers."

"I'm going to choose to see that not in a dirty way, Snooks, which is exactly how I see you implying it, am I right?"

"Me, imply that you are loose like a woman of the night, like someone who has a red light in their room, like someone who would've been slain by Jack the Ripper, how could you even think something like that? I would never mean you were loose like a streetwalker."

"Then loose like what?"

"Like a goose, you know, loosey goosey," he grinned as he put the food into the refrigerator. "Are you glad your brother is going to come to the wedding though, like really glad, like jumping up and down glad, but jumping up and down in your brain, not outright jumping up and down because with those breasts, you're liable to cause an earthquake."

"You like my breasts, Snooks, you called them…what, two alabaster mounds of porcelain-like beauty?"

"Funbags of awesome, I think was the term I came up with for them, that's just off the top of my head though, let me have a feel and see if I stand by that statement," Chris said, reaching for her chest. Stephanie moved out of the way.

"No, do you think I should get my implants taken out?" she asked, looking down at her chest.

"You're asking me, a guy, if I think you should make your breasts _smaller_?" Chris asked, his eyes widening like she was crazy. "Have you ever met me, Stephers, have you ever conversed with me in any capacity, what kind of man am I?"

"A crazy one?"

"A breast guy! Stephers, how many times do I have to tell you to study the dossier? You are my future wife, you need to have this stuff down before we get married because I will be quizzing you from time to time about things I like or don't like, you know, general information and how do you expect to pass?"

"I'm going to create a cheat sheet," she informed him.

"I like the boobies," he said with a coy shrug.

"You're such a child."

"Children like boobies for entirely different reasons."

"Yeah, but then the boys and some girls grow up to like them for completely different reasons and I like them for those reasons," Chris said. "So no, I think you should keep them for as long as you want to keep them, but if you don't want to keep them, then by all means, get them taken out because if this is some ploy to see if I'd still marry you if you were flat-chested, I'm not going to take that bait."

"Do you think I should let Shane walk me down the aisle?"

"That's up to you," Chris said, leaning on the counter. Stephanie was sitting on one of the barstools, her chin in her hand. "I mean, we didn't exactly tell him we're not planning the normal procession, you know, flower girls throwing their little rose petals and bridesmaids dressed to the nines and you walking down the aisle to Pachelbel's _Canon_."

"So like _your_ wedding with Trish was supposed to be," Stephanie said smugly.

"Must you bring up that disaster of a relationship?"

"Wasn't so disastrous until the end there, in fact, up until the end, I think you wanted to marry her and were excited to marry her. But that's just speaking as an outside observer."

"I did want to marry her on some level," Chris said, knowing Stephanie knew all this, but sometimes, he really just wanted to assure her that the situation between them right now was not going to end up like his relationship with Trish. He and Stephanie were perfect together, so much in tune with one another and he couldn't imagine having that with anyone else; he didn't even want to imagine it happening with someone else. "But then, I think back to the way I proposed and well, I wasn't ready, I just kind of got caught."

"Like a dolphin in a tuna net," Stephanie said, shaking her head.

"Exactly."

"Or like rat in a mouse trap."

"Yeah."

"A moth in a spider's web."

"Okay, can we stop with the death images," he told her.

"I'm just comparing that disaster of a relationship to true disasters…for animals," Stephanie said, jutting her bottom lip out at him. "I can't help it if I want to compare it to that, she's the ex-fiancée and I'm supposed to hate her for all eternity."

"Why?"

"Because she's your ex, that's why you hate Hunter, right? And Randy, do you hate Randy?"

"I really kind of don't hate Randy," Chris said. "It's not like you guys got engaged or anything like that or that he came to meet Mom and Dad, it was barely even serious. Now Hunter on the other hand…"

"Pure hatred."

"Yes."

"So that's what I have for Trish, pure hatred."

"You don't hate Trish."

"I could, maybe she's coming up with some diabolical plan in her lair that will break us up at the wedding. I bet she's having her minions build a giant underground tank that will drill a hole right in between us at the wedding and then she will kidnap you and I will have to save you, that's why I'm probably going to need a breakaway skirt for the ceremony, with leather shorts underneath and a utility belt. That way, when she starts going underground again, I can have a suction-magnet thing grasp the side of her tank and then I'll follow you and sneak in and save you."

"What do you think her evil lair would look like?"

"Pink, lots of pink and then shoes, everywhere, just shoes and pictures of herself and crystal balls and beds, because she has a lot of minions and they need to sleep, see, you never see that in movies, like, people need to sleep, you know, but then there are hundreds of these people and where do they all sleep, they can't all be cyborgs, so she'd have a lot of beds and they'd have shifts."

"Do they time in?"

"Yeah, you have to clock in to make sure you get paid. Anyways, back to the point."

"What point?" Chris asked.

"The Shane point."

"There was a Shane point."

"Do I need to invite someone else into this relationship to be the secretary?" Stephanie asked.

"I thought Sam was the secretary."

"Sam is the treasurer," Stephanie said, rolling her eyes. Sam looked up from his bed in the corner at them, but then put them down again. "He's the one who takes care of our finances, he did my taxes last year, got me a huge return."

"They do say that dogs are very smart, so should we get one for our secretary then, that way we'll know what points we need to discuss at our meetings."

"It does seem like the way to go," Stephanie said, "but the point was, do I have Shane walk me down the aisle. Face it, it's going to be something crazy and I don't know if he's _that_ loose yet."

"So we'll make him that loose," Chris told her. "We've converted people before, we can do it again. Everyone loves us anyways. We should get your brother a girlfriend, nothing loosens you up like a good romp in the sack."

"Why must everything be sex with you?"

"Because I'm getting sex regularly, therefore I have to brag about it whenever I can to the people who are single and aren't getting it regularly. You know, make them jealous, keep them on their toes."

"You brag about me?" Stephanie gasped, pretending to be shocked at this.

"Hell yeah, I'm doing the boss's daughter, you don't think that I'm going to go around bragging about that," Chris said, coming around the counter and wrapping his arms around Stephanie's waist. Since she was sitting on the barstool, she was a little higher than he was and he leaned his chin on her shoulder. "I tell everyone, especially Hunter."

"No you don't," she said, "or rather, you better not, Snooks."

"Oh, but I do."

"I kind of want Shane to walk me down the aisle."

"Then you should have him walk you down the aisle."

"Okay," she said with a nod, more to herself than him. "I think I'd like that. He'll just have to get used to the fact that it's not going to be a traditional thing, in fact, it's going to be the farthest thing from traditional because that's what we want."

"We should start introducing him to the way we live."

"You think?"

"Stephers, you saw how he was tonight. He wanted to break free from your parents and why wouldn't he, your parents are horrible, scary robots. He needs to just let loose a little bit and who better than us to do that for him?"

"We are the best," she agreed.

"We should start thinking of things to do, like taking him bungee-jumping…"

"Bungee-jumping, lame, sky diving."

"I am not diving into the sky."

"Why not?"

"Because just my luck, my parachute would fail, then my back-up parachute would fail and then this face," Chris said, pointing to his face, "would go splat and everyone would cry and then everyone's tears, because it would be everyone in the world, would flood the world and it would create so much water that the entire Earth would flood and you'd all have to live in boats, do you want to live in a boat, with no food and you'd have to eat fish all the time, all the time!"

"Not everyone in the world knows you."

"They may not know me, but they know my presence, if my presence were to just disappear, even the people who have never heard of me would be like, 'I just felt someone great leave the earth because of a tragic sky diving activity, I am sad, let me cry now.' Do you want that to happen, Stephers, do you want that on your conscience?"

"I don't think both parachutes would fail, Snooks."

"Yeah, we'd see, oh yes, we'd see," Chris said smugly.

"So no sky diving then, well, we'll think small, something my brother would come to, something my brother would respond to, I'm not entirely sure what former robots like…"

"The mechanic."

"No, that's what _broken_ robots like."

"Yeah, you're right, hey, how about we have a party and we invite him, give him a taste of our world and that way, he'll know what the wedding reception is going to be like and he won't be frightened and run screaming from the wedding."

"Great idea, it can be an engagement party and then people will bring gifts and they'll be like, 'here, this is because you're getting married,' and we'd get cool, free stuff."

"Or lame stuff we already have."

"But people know us, so I stand by cool stuff."

"I do like cool stuff."

"Who doesn't?"

"Nobody, everyone likes cool stuff."

"So let's have a party and get cool stuff."

"And help Shane.'

"Yeah, yeah, that too…he'll never know what hit him."


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Thanks for the reviews for this one, glad you love this crazy story. Hope you enjoy the chapter and leave a review if you want, they're always appreciated. :)

* * *

"Shane, you have to come."

"I don't know, Stephanie, I have a lot of work that I need to finish up with and…"

"Oh my God, Shane, it's a Saturday, you know, the unofficial day of partying. If God hadn't been so busy creating the entire universe, you don't think that he would've gone partying on Saturday, he totally would have. But he was busy, hell, maybe he knocked back a few cold ones after the day was done. You don't go to work on a Saturday, Shane!"

"I have things I need to finish up."

"No, you don't, nothing that can't wait until Monday. You have to come, it's like, partly an engagement party for me and Chris and if you're coming to the wedding, you have to come to the party, it's like in the rule book."

"Rule book?"

"Chris and I created a rule book, and article 3, paragraph 4, line 7 says, and I quote, 'All brothers of the bride must attend both the engagement party, bachelor party, and the wedding and not complain while doing so,' end line, so see, you have to go and you must go to Chris's bachelor party. I don't know what's going to happen that night, so be prepared for anything, I suggest bringing a snorkel."

"Stephanie," Shane laughed and Stephanie grinned at that. Shane needed to laugh more often. Life was too short to keep your laughs in and then when you were older, you would have no laugh lines, which meant that your life had been very boring. At least that's what she was going to tell herself when that happened. "I have work."

"No, you don't, I will come down there and do your work for you if I have to, but you are coming to our party. Everyone is going to be there, even Chris's parents are flying down and family is coming, well, not my family because they hate me and think I'm made of black wool or something, you get it, black sheep, black wool, but you have to come."

"Has anyone ever told you, you talk too much?"

"The robots tell me all the time, don't you remember when we were little and I'd be at the dinner table chattering away because I was a child, you see, and children tend to talk about their days, but then the Big Bad Wolves would tell me to be quiet because the dinner table was for eating and not for talking even though, and get this, Shane, I have since learned that the dinner table can be for eating _and_ for talking, can you believe that!"

"And this just reinforces my point."

"Don't hold me down!" Stephanie said. "Shane, you're coming, look, if it's about sneaking past Mom and Dad, I know at least fifteen ways out of Titan where Mom and Dad will never have to see you, number one, you walk out of your office, go to the elevator, press the first floor, then, and this is crucial, when you get to the first floor, you walk out and to your car! Now, I suggest this way because it's easy, but, if this does not work for you, I have carefully fastened a rope to the roof of the building. There is a harness and once you strap yourself in, you can rappel your way down the building on the side where Mom and Dad's office are not. These are your missions, should you choose to accept them."

"I'm not rappelling down the building."

"Do you actually believe I have a harness rigged up?" she asked.

"I would put nothing past you."

"Then I dare you to go up to the roof," Stephanie told him, "after you come to the party though, okay, please, I'm asking you nicely, please. Work can always wait, Shane."

Shane thought about it. He hadn't been to a function that didn't include a bow tie in a very long time. On the other hand, he had heard rumors about parties involving Chris and Stephanie and whatever they did at said parties. He wasn't sure he could handle one, but if this was an engagement party, it might be a little more on the dapper side. Besides, Chris's parents would be there so they wouldn't do anything to crazy, or so he thought.

"Okay, I'll be there."

"Yes, I knew I'd wear you down and in record time too, see, Chris and I bet on the time when I'd wear you down and he said it would take me over half an hour, but I knew I could it in less time and it's only been seventeen minutes so I win. He's going to have to make me a hula skirt now."

"A hula skirt, for what? It's not Halloween."

"Oh, did I forget to mention that the party is Hawaiian themed?" Stephanie said. "I could've sworn I mentioned that in there."

"It's what?"

"It's going to be a luau. We've got these Polynesian dancers coming in and it's going to be awesome," Stephanie said. "We originally thought that it could be a 'come dressed as the opposite sex' party, but Chris didn't want to wear a dress because he thinks he looks awful in there, which, he kind of does, but then there's also something kind of sexy about it, but yeah, Hawaiian themed, so wear your Hawaiian shirt."

"I don't own one," he said, a little trepidation in his voice.

"You don't…own one? Wow, you're even more worse off than I thought," Stephanie muttered to herself. "Well, come over early, Chris has some and he can lend you one and then you'll fit right in, okay?"

"Okay," he said. "If you say so."

"I do say so, so just come early and everything will be great."

"I'll see you then."

"Bye, Shane."

"Bye, Stephanie."

"Was that Stephanie?"

Shane looked up and saw his mother in the doorway, a pile of folders in her arms. "I just wanted to drop these off. I gave them a gander and you've done great work, as usual. Now what did Stephanie want? She isn't here today I've noticed."

"She was here earlier, I think," Shane said, though he knew she was because she'd come up to say hello to him. "I think she just gone done early."

"That's typical Stephanie, she just comes in and does what needs to be done and leaves. She doesn't go the extra mile like you do," Linda said, placing the folders on Shane's desk. "That's why we're giving you the company."

"I know, Mom," Shane said, knowing that he was being groomed to take over while Stephanie was not. Though, with the recent developments in their relationship and his new understanding of his sister, he wasn't going to put her out on the street and once his parents retired and gave up their controlling shares, he could give Stephanie any job she wanted.

The thing with Stephanie was not that she was unmotivated or dumb. She hadn't made it to where she was because she was dumb, far from it. Stephanie was extremely intelligent and had actually gotten better grades than he did all throughout school. She'd graduated with honors while he hadn't and she was good at her job. She just had this personality that screamed slacker or procrastinator, but that wasn't her at all. Shane wouldn't be surprised if he looked at her work and saw she was so far ahead of where everyone thought she was.

"So what did Stephanie want?" his mother asked again.

"We were just talking," Shane said. "She's just throwing this engagement party thing."

"So she really is going through with this wedding then, I see," Linda said thoughtfully. "I had such high hopes for her. She could, if she put her mind to it, find a man who is more suitable for her. We tried your best, your father and I, but well, we dropped the ball a little on her."

"She seems happy though."

"But Shane, a wrestler? Yes, this is our business and our wrestlers are important, but worthy of our daughter, I don't think so," Linda shook her head. "I wanted Stephanie to have what your father and I didn't, security, stability. Now she's marrying a wrestler and he'll probably cheat on her, you know. I mean, he had the audacity to just skip out on his first wedding."

"I heard that was because he was in love with Stephanie."

"See, the man can't even make up his mind," Linda said. "What kind of man is that for my daughter? I just don't understand her thinking. I don't know what goes through her mind. If she would just listen to me, her life would be fine."

"Mom…"

"I'm sorry, Shane, I didn't mean to get upset," Linda said, placating herself. "You're a good son. I'll see you later, you should come to our house for dinner on Saturday, your father and I would like that."

"I'm sorry, Mom, I had previous plans on Saturday, there's this thing one of my friends wants me to attend, just a dinner party, but Sunday, I think I could come," he told her.

"Good, we'd enjoy that, goodbye, Shane."

"Bye, Mom."

Shane was not happy. He knew it before, to a certain extent, but now he really knew it. He'd lived his parent's life and he was no closer to true happiness than he was at any other point in his life. His parents' way wasn't working for him and it didn't work for Stephanie. He could see how happy she was with Chris, it was plain as day and if his parents took two seconds to look, to really look, they'd see it too and maybe regret not going to their daughter's wedding. But they were so stuck they'd probably never see.

Shane went to the barbeque with an open mind. He'd arrived early like he was told to and rang the doorbell, Stephanie came to the door and she was dressed in a coconut bra and a grass skirt, with a lei around her neck and a flower in her hair. "Hey, Shane, thanks for coming, come on in," she said, "now let's get you appropriate. Snooks, Shane is here!"

"Okay," Chris yelled from somewhere upstairs and then a moment later he appeared at the top of the stairs and he came bounding down and Shane just stared at him. He was wearing the exact same outfit as Stephanie, right down to the coconut bra.

"Um, wow," Shane said.

"I know, isn't it crazy how much hotter I look than she does?" Chris said, then added, "wait, don't answer that, she's your sister, we don't want any of _that_ weirdness, right? Yeah, okay, here you go, one Hawaiian shirt for you and you will be set."

"Thanks," Shane said, "I'm just going to go change. Bathroom?"

"Right over there," Stephanie said, pointing to a small hallway and a door on the right. "You'll find the space comfortable enough for changing."

"Thanks," he said, going into the bathroom. He looked around a little, he was nosy, sue him, but it was just a normal bathroom and he wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he thought there'd be crazy things on the walls or notes or something, but it was just a normal bathroom. As he was taking off his shirt, the doorbell rang and he wondered who else might be coming early.

He slipped the shirt on as he heard Stephanie opening the door. "Mom, Dad, welcome, welcome!"

Shane was a little surprised, okay, a lot surprised and he peeked his head out and saw it was Chris's parents, or who he assumed to be Chris's parents because the man looked like Chris. He folded his polo shirt neatly and walked out as Chris came into the foyer to see his parents. His mother laughed and shook her head, but she'd gotten in the spirit with a Hawaiian inspired dress. Shane cleared his throat and everyone turned towards him, like they'd forgotten he was there.

"Don't tell me," Loretta said. "There's no need, you must be Shane McMahon. See, I would normally say that you look like my Stephanie and you do, but I've seen you on TV so it's not much of a surprise that I know who you are."

She talked a lot, like Chris. "Yes, I'm Shane."

"Well it is so nice to meet you," Loretta said, coming over to hug him. "Oh, do you not like hugs, I have heard that you may be part robot."

"He's getting better, we installed the emotion chip," Stephanie told her.

"Oh, very smart," Loretta said with a wink. "So Shane, I heard that you are going to be the one representing your family at this wedding so I say welcome, any family of Stephanie's is family of mine, you hear me, even if you come to Winnipeg and need a place to stay, not that you would because you've got money, but you come to us nonetheless."

Shane looked a little scared and Chris stepped in. "Mom, don't smother him."

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy to meet you and thank you for coming to this wedding, I know that your parents are kind of…opposed to this, but you aren't and that means so much to them and to me as well. Chris is a good guy."

"Mom," Chris said.

"Chris, I'm just saying, and Stephanie is wonderful and the daughter I never had and she gets to be the daughter I wanted when she marries Chris and they're perfect together and thank you for seeing that."

"Mom, you're embarrassing me."

"I'm sorry," Loretta said. "You've been welcoming to this marriage, so I want to welcome to you our family."

"Thank you," Shane said and he smiled. They seemed like really great people and they obviously loved Stephanie a lot and it made him happy. Stephanie had people who wanted to be parents to her, who wanted to love and care for her.

Maybe their parents not coming wouldn't be so bad after all.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Glad that you're liking this crazy story. Hope this chapter is just as good and reviews are always loved and appreciated, so hope you enjoy. :)

* * *

"Everybody limbo!"

Chris and Stephanie were holding a bar and everyone was trying to limbo underneath as the music played. Shane hung back a little bit. This wasn't really the kind of scene he was used to. The music was blaring and Chris and Stephanie had decked out their entire backyard in a Hawaiian theme. There were lights everywhere and an actual suckling pig in the buffet and torches ablaze everywhere. It really created an atmosphere. They also had a bar set up and drinks in coconuts with little umbrellas that the bartender they'd hired was making. He was currently sipping on one.

"Hello again, Shane," Loretta said, coming up and sitting next to him. He smiled over at her. "How come you're not joining in on the fun?"

"Not exactly used to this," Shane admitted. "I mean, when I go to a party it's usually a catered event, black tie, you know, quiet, not like this."

"Well, these two have been known for their parties," Loretta said. "I know for a fact though that they are really glad you came. I'm glad you came too. I've never had the privilege to meet anyone from Stephanie's family and I think it's good to know where someone comes from, you know."

"I'm afraid you'll be disappointed," Shane said, "none of us are like Stephanie."

"Not many people in general are like Stephanie," Loretta said and Shane laughed, "I take it that you agree with this."

"You're right," Shane said, "I think that's why Chris is going to be good for her, they're so much alike I think that they go together well."

"I agree," Loretta said, looking over at her son and her future daughter. They were now waiting their turn to go under the bar and Stephanie was first, bending her back as she tried to get lower, Chris yelling at them to make it lower so she couldn't possibly win and Stephanie somehow glaring at him as she bent over backwards. "I'm very glad you decided to attend the wedding. When Stephanie told me that your parents weren't coming, I couldn't understand why. I still don't."

"My parents are very set in their ways," Shane explained. "They've had plans and ideas for us since we were born. They've wanted to map out our lives from the moment we started living them and Stephanie has never wanted to be put into a mold. I think this thing with Chris was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think they figured there was always going to be that slim chance that she would settle down and be what they wanted her to be, but then when she decided to marry Chris, that all went out the window."

"Chris is a good man," Loretta said, defending her son. No mother wanted to hear that her son wasn't good enough for someone.

"I have no doubts about that," Shane said. He knew that Chris was going to be the best thing for his sister. "He's a great guy and he's even greater for putting up with my sister for so long. I think that's a major accomplishment. My parents just don't see things like that."

"Sometimes it's better to accept someone for who they are rather than not accept them because of what they haven't done for you."

"I know I'm never going to change Stephanie. I know we're always going to be different in a lot of ways, but I just didn't agree with the way my parents were treating her. They were rejecting her because she fell in love with someone that wasn't who they wanted for her. They don't understand that Stephanie would never be happy with some stuffy lawyer or doctor or God forbid a politician or something like that. Stephanie is happy with Chris and I can see that and I don't think that she should be shunned because of that."

"Thank you for that," Loretta told him, patting him on the shoulder. "That means so much to me and my family. We've raised Chris the right way and we just want him to have the chance to make Stephanie happy."

"He already does," Shane said.

Chris was grabbing Stephanie around the waist and dipping her, kissing her deeply as their matching coconut bras clanked against each other. Everyone ooh'ed and ahh'ed over the kissing and Stephanie flipped them all off as Chris pulled her back to her feet. She pecked him on the lips and he kissed her again and they were just so happy. How his parents couldn't see that, how they could be so blinded by what Stephanie was supposed to be to them, he didn't know. He cared about his sister's happiness and it was right there in front of them.

"So do you have anyone special in your life?" Loretta wondered.

"No, not really," Shane said.

"We should find someone for you," Loretta said, tugging on his arm. "Come on, I'm sure there is someone here that would be perfect for you. Let me introduce you to some of Chris's cousins who flew down."

"You really don't have to, Loretta," Shane said, but still letting himself get pulled by Chris's mother. He hadn't come here today to hook up with anyone. He was just here because his sister had coerced him into it. "I mean, that's not really why I came, I mostly came to support Chris and Stephanie."

"Yes, but you aren't having any fun, you need to loosen up, be more like your sister."

"I think that's the first time I've _ever_ heard anyone say that to me," Shane told her. Loretta glanced over her shoulder and winked at him. She was nothing like his own mother. Not that he was thinking of Loretta as a mother like Stephanie did, but he could see how Chris had ended up the way he did with a mother like this. It made him a little bit envious, but only a little bit.

"Emma, I'd like to introduce you to someone, where's your sister?"

"Addy's over there," Emma said, pointing to another blonde girl who was talking with Christian. "Who's this?"

"This is Stephanie's brother, Shane."

"Oh, the one who's part robot," Emma said, sticking her hand out, "please don't crush me with your super strength."

Shane blushed and stuck his hand out to shake hers. "I'm not really part robot."

"What? No, I never would've guessed," she said sarcastically. "Sorry, I just know your sister, from you know, holidays and stuff and she jokes about how you're a robot and was that an entirely inappropriate thing to start a conversation with or what? I should have just made a bigger embarrassment of myself."

"You didn't, I know that she calls me part robot."

"Oh good, I didn't let the cat out of the bag."

"I'll just leave you two to talk, I'm going to talk to the couple of honor," Loretta said.

"So you work for the WWF too, I'm assuming," Emma said.

"Yeah, I do."

"Cool and you are the one person in Steph's family that is not against the wedding, right? Because I know she's had problems with this wedding within her family, which is such crap because Chris is awesome. Stephanie could not have picked a better guy, all he has to do this time is show up to the wedding, but I've got a good feeling that he'll show up to this one, call it a hunch."

"I think he will too," Shane said. "He really loves my sister."

"Uh, hell yeah, my aunt has been telling them for _years_ that they should be together, that's why she's so smug now because she says that she called it, but dude, everyone could see it. So what's your story? Why are you breaking free from your family?"

"Because I know that Chris makes my sister happy and I want to see her happy."

"So you aren't as much robot as I thought you were," she said, "good, it'll make it a lot easier to talk to you."

"You remind me of Chris."

"Dude, why does _everyone_ say that?" she laughed, then added, "I'm just kidding, I don't mind being compared to Chris. I always looked up to him when I was younger. I even wanted to be a wrestler for a while, until I realized the kind of hours I'd have to put in and then it was like, no thank you, and I settled for sports management."

"Wow, that sounds pretty exciting."

"It is," she nodded.

"So who are you an agent for?"

Loretta wrapped her arms around Chris and Stephanie. "Look at my handy work."

Chris and Stephanie looked over to where she was pointing and saw Shane talking and laughing with Chris's cousin, Emma. Chris and Stephanie looked at each other. They'd had no idea that Loretta would try to do that to Shane, but it was good for him. Stephanie knew that he didn't date anyone who was not a friend of the family's so this could be very good for him. Emma was a lot like Chris and if she could somehow break Shane, that would be quite the victory for her side. She could just imagine Shane bringing home someone like Emma. Her parents would freak.

"Mom, what did you do?" Chris asked.

"I'm sorry, Stephanie, but your brother looked so sad sipping his little drink, I figured I'd make the party a little better for him."

"I have no objections to this at all," Stephanie laughed. "In fact, I welcome it wholeheartedly. Anything to get Shane out of the restrictive grasp of my parents, I'm all for."

"Have you ever thought that you're changing him too much, too fast, Stephers?" Chris wondered. "I mean, it's hard for someone to change their entire life so quickly."

"He needs it, it's about damn time he started changing," Stephanie said. "This will be good for him. Plus, it has the added bonus of freaking out my parents, not that they have any idea right now, but when they do, they are going to freak out. I fully expect them to try and fire me or something."

"They'll fire _me_, what are you talking about? I'll have to go wrestle in Japan or something because they'll blacklist me."

"They wouldn't stand a chance, not if we have Shane on our side. Eventually they'll realize that trying to control us has not worked."

"You two, shush, this is about Shane being happy," Loretta said. "I just want everyone in my family, old, new, whatever to be happy. I think that boy needs a real mother because from what I hear about your mother, Stephanie, she's not exactly what I would hope for a mother."

"She's definitely not, Mom, but you are a great influence and I think you would be a great role model for Shane."

"You're such a suck-up, Stephers."

"Shut up, Snooks."

"Speech, speech, speech!" someone started yelling, which started rolling over the crowd like a wave.

"I think they want you two to give a speech," Loretta said, pushing them towards the little stage they'd set up where the Polynesian dancers had been performing. Everyone started clapping and cheering for them and Stephanie made a face as she was handed a microphone by someone.

"Well, I guess we just want to thank everyone for coming tonight, it really means a lot to Chris and I that you could all make it and celebrate our engagement, which is weird, right, I mean, how many of you thought that Chris and I would actually get married?"

Every hand shot in the air.

"What the hell?" Stephanie asked. "You all thought this!"

"Pretty much," Edge yelled out.

"Wow, okay, so I guess I was the oblivious one. Anyways, thanks for sharing in our engagement, which you all predicted anyways. Anything you want to say, Snooks?"

"No, just thanks for coming," Chris shrugged. "And we hope you can all make the wedding."

"Where he _will_ be showing up," Stephanie said, slugging Chris in the stomach, "upon punishment of death if he doesn't, there will be no standing me up at the altar if he knows what's good for him."

"I do know what's good for me, I'm not going to make that mistake again," he said, kissing her cheek.

"Also, one more thing, I just wanted to thank my brother, Shane for coming, it means a lot to me, so thanks, Shane." She looked around, but Shane was nowhere to be found. "Now where did he go?"

He was inside, making out with Chris's cousin.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, much appreciated for this crazy, crazy, zany, totally weird story. Hope you enjoy the chapter and feel free to leave me a crazy review, see if you can top the weirdness of Chris and Stephanie! :P

* * *

"Don't look at me like that."

Stephanie shook a little bit in her spot, then grinned over at her brother again. He looked at her and he could feel that familiar heat returning to his cheeks. It started at his ears, they burned ever so slightly and then more and more until he knew they were a beet red and his cheeks held a rosy glow. Stephanie grinned even further at that and he grew even redder. It was like his sister was trying to see how red he could get in the shortest amount of time. Maybe that was her plan, maybe she and Chris had made a bet or something and Chris was just out of his sight with a timer in hand, recording this.

"What? I'm not looking at you like anything," she told him, but she was and he knew and she knew it and he believed the plant in the corner knew it.

"Yes you are, so just stop," he said, gathering up a couple more paper plates that had been strewn around Chris and Stephanie's backyard. He'd volunteered to stay and help clean up. The yard was a mess and he would've been driven crazy by it, but Chris and Stephanie just took it all in stride and as their dog went around trying to eat scraps leftover from the plates, they just went about cleaning up. His parents were helping too so it wasn't wholly a difficult effort, but it was still a considerable one.

"I'm not doing anything, I'm emptying glasses into the punch bowl!" she argued, but she had a lilt in her voice. He couldn't read his sister like some brothers could, but it didn't take a genius…or a robot as she would put it, to realize that she had an amused tone to her voice, one that told him she wanted him to admit what was going on. He had a strong will though and wasn't about to give in.

"Yeah, but you keep looking over at me!"

"I'm just looking to see what you're doing, geez, Shane, is that a crime, have I set up your receptors? Do you have them? Maybe you're like a bug and you can sense changes in the environment, like air pressure or how the moon is aligned or something. Might want to try your luck at the lottery…or you should if you weren't already stinking rich, seeing as how you're going to inherit the bulk of the company."

That made him uncomfortable. His parents never had any intention of cutting Stephanie off. She was good at her job, though, so even if they did she would have no trouble finding work elsewhere. It was understood though that the company would go to Shane. He'd never seen his parents' wills but he had a sneaking suspicion that most of everything they had would be going to him. Or at least that was the case right now; he wasn't sure what their reaction would be when they found out that he was going to Stephanie's wedding and had been spending time with her.

"You don't know that."

"Shane," she said, looking at him, tilting her head down to her chin slightly and raising her eyebrow. "Let's not kid ourselves here. You're the favorite, you always have been. I don't begrudge you for that. Look, I am grateful to Mom and Dad for everything they've done for me--"

"You are?" he asked incredulously. He thought Stephanie had always hated their parents.

"Of course I am. Look, we may not agree and they may not even like me very much and they might not have been the best parents and I may have been raised mostly by nannies, but they put a roof over my head, made sure I always had something to eat and clothes to wear and they put me through college and they've given me a job. I may not be what they want me to be, but that doesn't mean I'm not glad for what they've done for me."

Shane looked at her as she shrugged and started stacking the cups so she could go throw them out. He'd just always assumed that Stephanie, in her defiance, hated their parents and that was the root of everything. Hearing her say these things just made him that much more incredulous at his parents' behavior. If Stephanie was grateful and acted grateful and thanked them (as he assumed she did, Stephanie was never one to keep her mouth shut) , then why act like they did towards her. They always acted like she was an ungrateful child.

"Do they know you're grateful?" He just waned to make sure.

"Of course they do, I tell them all the time," Stephanie said as Chris walked by and handed her an empty trash bag. She slid the stack of cups into it. "I even make sure to note it on the Christmas cards I send, I even go out of my way to find the most serious Christmas card that I can find just so they would understand because I don't think they know what a joke is."

"Why aren't you mad at them?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she wondered, looking at him again. She held out her trash bag and he emptied his arms of the plates he'd been carrying.

"I mean, you are nice to them and they are horrible to you and you aren't mad at them, why?"

"Um, ever heard the expression 'big girls don't cry?'"

"Stephanie, I'm being serious here."

"Oh, oh, excuse me, sir, I didn't realize we were conducting business while I was standing here in a coconut bra," she said, knocking on her bra. Then she looked at Shane and, realizing he _was_ being serious, shrugged her shoulders again. "I'm just not because what's the point? Life is too short to be mad at people. That's how you lose people from your life. I mean, think of it this way, if I'd spilt that hot chocolate on Chris's chest and he'd been mad at me, cursed me out, then continued to hate me to this day, would I be here? Nope, I'd probably…well, no, I guess I would be _here_, in this house, because I lived here before Chris so I guess I would be here in the literal sense, but in the grander, big scheme, destiny, stars aligning sense, then no, I wouldn't be here. That's what grudges and being mad do, they hold you back from what you really want to be doing or should be doing. If you'd continued to let Mom and Dad influence you, would you be here?"

"No."

"No, because you, unlike them, didn't hold a grudge against me. Do you get it? I could make a PowerPoint presentation for you if you want, maybe a slideshow, a soft-shoe demonstration?"

"None of those are necessary, thank you. I just don't get you."

"And you never will, Shane, that's the beauty of it, it's my evil plan. Everyone thinks they have me figured out and then one day…oh, who knows what day…I'm going to just suddenly join the circus as a trapeze act. I'll work with a net though, don't worry, you won't see me go splat."

"Well, thanks for that."

"It's good advice, Shane, I suggest you take it. I could punch it out on one of those old IBM cards, do you have a slot for that?" she teased. "At least I know what you do with that mouth of yours."

Now he was blushing again. "Stephanie, please," he pleaded, but Stephanie had not had very many big brother/little sister moments with Shane and she had to make up for lost time. Hell, this was just the tip of the iceberg.

"I'm sorry, but walking into my guest bedroom to get someone's coat, I never expected to see my brother, on a bed, making out with a girl. This is truly a momentous occasion. It was something you would see in a movie, really. I'm just lucky both parties were still completely clothed, but then, who knows how long that would've lasted."

"I wasn't going to sleep with her. I don't even know her."

"Didn't stop you from shoving your tongue down her throat like she was choking and you were trying to pop out whatever was in there," she told him slyly.

"Oh, are we talking about Shane making out with my cousin?" Chris asked, coming over and wrapping an arm around Stephanie from behind. "Because I heard that he was using her like an oxygen tank and he was on a deep sea dive."

"It was nothing like that!"

"You should've seen them, Snooks, she was all over him. I think she needs that video from _Futurama_ where they try to warn Fry about getting involved with the Lucy Liu-bot, but he won't listen. That way she won't try to mat with a robot."

"I hate you two," Shane said.

"Oh come on, Shane we're happy for you," Chris said. "I would say the transformation is coming along nicely, wouldn't you, Stephers?"

"Oh yes, Dr. Snooks, quite nicely," Stephanie said, rubbing her chin. "The subject has now been paired with a female of the species and he seems to have taken quite a liking to her. To further study this behavior, we have to observe the creature in his natural habitat, a date with the female of the species."

"You are not going on my date or spying on it either!" Shane told them.

"Aha! The subject is going out with the girl," Stephanie said, grinning up at Chris. "We should double date sometime."

"God, double dating with you would be a nightmare. We'd go out to dinner and end up in Nova Scotia or something."

"Yes, yes, we would," Stephanie said, "but it would be the best damn trip you've ever had to Nova Scotia in your life. We're happy for you, Shane, you've found a make-out buddy. You can put the volleyball with the face on it away."

"I thought he just made it look like Wilson from that movie, the one with Tom Hanks."

"_Big_?"

"No, you know the one."

"_Philadelphia_?"

"No."

"_Bosom_ _Buddies_?"

"Okay, now you're just naming TV shows, the Castaway one, what was that one called."

"_Castaway_."

"Oh," Chris said.

"And no, I'm pretty sure it was the face."

"There was no volleyball."

"Too big," Stephanie whispered, "Maybe a football."

"But what about the shape?" he whispered back.

"If it worked for Arnold, it could work for him," she whispered again.

"I'm right here, you guys," Shane said. "I liked Emma and I'm going to be taking her out and you two will stay 1000 feet away from us at all times, no spying, no bugging our cars--"

"Quick, get them before he destroys them!" Stephanie told Chris as he bit his hand like he was in fear of that happening.

"No nothing. You're just going to let us go out."

"Now tell me, Shane, have you ever been out with a lady before?" Stephanie asked.

"I've been on dates, Stephanie, thank you for asking," Shane said, that familiar feeling burning into his cheeks. Of course he'd dated before. He just hadn't liked or loved any of the girls he dated enough to get married, that was all. There was a lot of pressure on him by his parents to get married and it was starting to get him a little hot under the collar. He probably didn't have the experience dating that Chris or Stephanie did, but he dated.

"No, I mean, the women you've been out with, let me say…how do I say this?"

"Their noses are so turned up they're using them for the ski jump competition in the next winter Olympics?" Chris supplied for her.

"Perfect 10," Stephanie said, then laughed heartily. "The girls you've been with were snobs, plain and simple. I would say bitches, but that's really just an insult to female dogs and I will not sully the name of Sammy's mother!"

"They haven't been…"

"See, you can't even say that convincingly. I'm just saying that Emma is different, she's cool, she's not going to be like those other girls and we want you to be prepared for that, Shane. This could be _your_ life-changing moment, like mine when I spilled hot chocolate all over Chris."

"It was a life-changing moment for me too," Chris said. "I'd never had a boiling hot liquid poured on me before, that's not something you forget easily."

"You're putting too much stock into this, what do you think is going to happen, Stephanie?" Shane asked. Stephanie looked at him for a moment, then looked at Chris, then looked back at Shane.

"Don't you already see it, Shane?"

"See what?"

"You're a new man."


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: Thanks for the reviews for this one, guys, glad you're sticking with it. Anyways, this chapter is a tiny bit different than usual, you'll see what I mean. Hope you like it and if you want to review, then by all means, don't let me stop you. ;)

* * *

"Hey there, stud."

Shane looked up quickly from the work he was doing and saw Emma leaning in the doorway. She was looking sharp today, dressed in a pinstriped pencil skirt with a light blue blouse. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she looked beautiful. A smile almost involuntarily popped up on his face and she grinned at him, raising one of her delicate eyebrows.

"Hey, Emma, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see the master at work!" she shrugged. "After hearing all about the titillating work you do around here, I had to come see what you do."

"I thought you were working today."

"I _was_ working today," she said, gesturing down to her outfit. "I had a client meeting in New York, but then we finished early and I decided that there was only one place that I wanted to be right now and that was here with you, watching you work."

"That's not creepy," he joked.

She laughed and came over to him, leaning down to kiss him. She let her mouth linger a little bit on his before she pulled away and looked down at the paperwork. "So what big decisions are you making right now? Are you doing anything that will change the course of the world, do you have any big, red buttons to press?"

Shane laughed and shook his head, "Just your boring, old paperwork that needs to be done so the company can run. Who were you meeting with in New York?"

"A Yankee, a dirty Yankee," she answered in a mock Southern accent. "Ever since the war they've been trying to take over on us. Think they can just run over us because they happened to beat us, but I still have my Confederate pride."

"Funny having a Canadian with a Southern accent," he told her.

"And here I thought I was passing with flying colors," she said, sitting on the arm of his chair. "Just going over some negotiations. My client is up for arbitration this year and we were meeting with some of the officials about that and lawyers and all very boring stuff that will put you to sleep and then you'll dump me."

"I wasn't aware you were mine to dump," he said, looking up at her. He and Emma had been out a few times. Her living in New York was a very big help for them because it meant that they could see each other a lot. He liked going out with her because while she could certainly be serious, she also had a fun, crazy side. It was a change he was going through himself and having someone who could balance the two was a nice support.

"Well I wasn't aware that you weren't aware that I was yours to dump," she kidded, sticking her tongue out a little. He shook his head and she leaned down again to kiss his temple. "So I also came to see if you were free tonight for dinner. It'll be my treat."

He'd never had a woman treat him before Emma. It wasn't that she was weird, it was more the brand of woman he'd dated before her. The kind of woman he was used to was the one who carried dogs in their purses and expected everything to be done for them. He knew there were different, more independent women out there, he'd just never been out with them before and that was another change he had to fight his way through. But he was getting better at it. It felt good, like this was a change for the better and he was hoping at the end, he'd be a better person.

"Your treat?"

"Oh come on, must we do this every time I offer to pay?" she asked. "I know that your robot programming is pretty hard-wired, but if you let me get at those wires of yours, I bet I could change them to my liking."

The way she was looking at him made him a little uncomfortable. "We can't talk about that here," he hissed at her, blushing.

"You're so cute," she said, leaning down to kiss him again, just because. "And I didn't say anything dirty, all I was talking about was your wiring, if you wanted me to start in on the dirty talk, all you had to do was ask me."

"Emma," he whined. They hadn't yet slept together, but she'd been hinting that she wouldn't be adverse to having a more physical relationship with him.

"I'm just putting it out there, Shane. I'm not asking you to take me right here on the desk, normally, I would, but you've got some very sharp looking edges on those picture frames and I don't want to have to nurse my injuries when I should be basking in the afterglow."

"You just came here to embarrass me, didn't you?" he told her. "That was your sole reason."

"While the thought is appealing," she nudged him in the shoulder. "I did not, although now that you mention it, maybe I should just tease you, you got an office-wide intercom on your phone." She started to make a grab for his phone, but he intercepted her.

"Do not even go near that!" he told her, grabbing away from her as she laughed and tried to go for it again. He played keep away with it and she fell into his lap and kissed him unexpectedly. He dropped the phone and wrapped his arms around her and she let her hand snake up his neck and into his hair. She moaned softly, little mewling sounds as she tried to deepen the kiss. Shane was trying his hardest to fight this feeling welling up inside of him that told him he shouldn't be doing this here in the middle of his office, in the middle of the day. But her mouth was so nice and he had never been with a woman this warm before. Every other woman he'd been with was so frigid.

"You're pretty," she mumbled against his lips when they finally had to take a breath.

"Guys aren't pretty."

"Of course guys can be pretty."

"That's called a pretty boy."

"No, no, no, guys can be pretty, I've just decreed it. You hear people describing women as being handsome and it's not a put down so I don't see why saying a guy is pretty should be a put down so I don't think it is a put down at all. I think calling you pretty is really just breaking new ground. I'm a groundbreaker."

He smirked at her. "That sounds suspiciously like Chris and Stephanie logic right there."

"I _am_ related to Chris and I consider Stephanie a very good friend, they were bound to rub off on me like big, huge erasers," Emma said. "You love them, admit it."

"I love Stephanie, she's my sister."

"Aww, aren't you a cute boy," Emma said. "You know, I know they don't really do the whole emotional thing well and I suspect even when they're alone they don't do that entire thing like normal people, but it really means a lot to them that you're coming around to them. I don't know how you weren't around to them already because they're two of the most awesome people on the planet, but the fact that you are coming around to them is really nice."

"I'm just doing the right thing," he said sheepishly.

"Yeah, but you're doing the right thing and you're being sweet doing it and that, Shane McMahon, is why I like you so very, very much. That and you're a really good kisser," she told him, pecking him on the lips.

"Shane."

Shane pulled away hastily and nearly stood up, knocking Emma to the ground. Emma turned and stood up, having the decency to know when Shane was tensing up. "Hey, Mom," he said, clearing his throat.

"Oh, you're Shane's mother, I've been wanting to meet you," Emma said, putting on her most professional voice. Shane was grateful for that. He'd never seen Emma in action, but apparently she was amazing at her job and it was showing now.

"I don't know who you are."

"I'm Emma, Emma Donaldson," she said, walking over and sticking her hand out to shake. She kept it there even though Linda was making no move to shake it. She didn't move her hand either, just keeping it there until Linda reluctantly put her hand forward to shake it. Emma put a little extra oomph into the shake.

"Do you work for us?" Linda asked.

"No, I don't, though your company is being run very well if Shane is any indication," she said, looking back and grinning at her boyfriend. "I actually work as a sports agent. Most of my clients are baseball players."

"Oh, I see," Linda said. "And what exactly are you doing here?"

"She's…my girlfriend, Mom," Shane said, standing up. "Emma and I have been on a few dates and she's my girlfriend."

"This is the first I've heard of her," Linda said, almost acting like Emma wasn't in the room. She was starting to see why Chris and Stephanie were constantly talking about how they were monsters in disguise. Linda was acting downright rude to her.

"Well, I didn't want to say anything until things became a little clearer between us, but I think we've ironed out a few things today," Shane said, sending a warm glance to Emma and she almost beamed at him. "She's now my girlfriend."

"It's very nice meeting you," Emma said, "You've done a wonderful job with your son, he's quite the upstanding citizen and look at the crease on those pants, genius."

"Shane, we'll talk later, goodbye, Emma," Linda said and turned and walked away. Emma made a face and turned to her _boyfriend_.

"Wow, so Stephanie wasn't kidding when she was talking about your parents," Emma shuddered. "I've got to hand it to your mom though, I couldn't even see the same or the zipper."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, the seam or zipper that they put on to look human since they're so obviously monsters," Emma said. "I think the room got 15 degrees colder when she walked in. That's an amazing talent to have, the power of frigidity."

"She just doesn't know you."

"And yet, she already seems to not like me, was it the sitting in your lap thing, God, imagine if your pants had been down, then we really would've known the feeling of chill," Emma joked.

"So you're not…mad?" he asked. He didn't know why she would be, but his mother had just treated her so rudely and she didn't even bat an eyelash. On top of that, he couldn't believe how his mother had acted. Yes, Emma was not someone that she had approved of or picked out for him, but the fact remained that it was obvious that he cared about her and his mother couldn't even pretend for a few minutes to be interested in what obviously made him happy. He was really starting to feel what Stephanie must have felt when their parents pretty much shunned everything she did. It was a terrible feeling though, like he was doing something wrong except he knew that he wasn't.

"Why would I be mad?" she asked. "It's not you treating me like I'm invisible or somehow a lower niche. God, your mother might still believe in the caste system or something. Have you spoken to her about that? Maybe she's just behind the times."

"She shouldn't have treated you like that, period."

"I knew how they were going to be, the entire 'not coming to their daughter's wedding' thing tipped me off to that," Emma said, "and to that, I say that they are worth as much of _my_ time as I'm worth to theirs. Besides, I'm not dating _them_."

"Wait until they find out your Chris's cousin."

"We should save that for a special occasion, like your father's birthday or their anniversary or something, maybe a Christmas present of a picture of me and Chris as children. That'll be sure to get their ire up."

"You're pretty amazing."

"That's what I'm told," she shrugged, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Look, I know you're not your parents, you've _more_ than proven that. I think we all see it, so what's it going to take for you to see that you're not them."

"I feel like I've just done everything they've told me to do, like I've wasted time," he admitted, feeling a bit ashamed.

"Well I have something you can do that isn't what they've told you to do," she told him quietly.

"What's that?" he asked. She just smirked and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Me."


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, everyone, I really appreciate them and thanks for taking the time to write them. I hope you're liking the Shane/Emma thing because I'm really enjoying writing it and everything, but that's not to say I've forgotten about the couple of the hour, I haven't! Anyways, hope you like the chapter, if you feel like reviewing, go ahead and click the button. Enjoy! :)

* * *

"So it's all set then, I'll come over to your place later, you'll cook for me and then I'll cook for you."

The way she was winking at him was already enough to get him going. He nodded mutely, not trusting his voice not to crack and make him sound like a virgin-like sixteen year old who was going to get lucky for the first time. Shane nodded and she scrunched up her nose and kissed him, leaning down in front of him so he got a pretty good look down the front of her shirt, which was conveniently unbuttoned on the top. She pulled away and licked his lips a little bit.

"Got a little lip gloss on you," she told him. "So does tonight sound like a good plan to you?"

"It sounds like a great plan," Shane told her softly.

"Great, well, I'm going to bide my time until I can go over to your place."

"You can go over now if you want," he said, fishing his keys out of his drawer. You know how to get there right?"

"I vaguely remember, can you write down some directions for me?" she asked. I nodded and grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled it on there. "If you want to go over there, you can, just make yourself at home."

"Oh, so I can go through your drawers and computer and find your porn collection, is that what you're telling me because if I do, you might want to tell me what kinks you've got now or else I may be weirded out later," she told him, laughing at his face. "Shane, I'm not really going to go snooping, it's not my style."

He relaxed a little. "I don't really have anything to hide."

"Of course you don't," she smirked at him, grabbing his chin and giving him a kiss. "You're very uncomplicated. I fully expect Shane-bot 2.0 to be totally complicated. Hmm, I don't think I'll upgrade then."

"I'm glad," he told her.

"Okay, well, I will leave you to your work," she told him. "I don't want to get you in trouble with your mother and father. They might actually believe that you have a life outside these four walls…okay, three walls and a very large window. I wouldn't want them to chain you up in a dungeon somewhere. However, if you want to chain _me_ up…"

"Okay, you're going to have to go now," he said, standing up and playfully pushing her out of the room.

"What? You're kicking me out now…wow and you _want_ to get lucky later, right?" she told him, trying to put her arms around him.

"Get out," he told her, laughing as she kissed him.

"I'm going, I'm going, a lady knows when she's not wanted," Emma said. "I'll see you later tonight, pretty?"

"Stop calling me pretty," he told her, pretending to sound mean, but he just couldn't do it with the look on her face. She was so fun and had such a great sense of humor that he found that he almost couldn't smile when she was around him. She was infectious and she was already getting deep under his skin. It helped that she was like nothing he had ever been with before. She wasn't rigid, she wasn't bitchy, she was just fun and liked to be with him as much as he liked to be with her.

"Maybe after tonight, I'll start calling you sexy," she told him, whispering in his ear so his secretary didn't hear. "I'll see you later."

"You will," he told her, being bold and leaning forward to kiss her.

"Bye, Shane," Emma said.

"Bye," Shane told her as she sauntered out of the office and down the hallway towards the elevators, an extra sashay in her step.

"Mr. McMahon?"

"Yes, Katrina?"

"Your mother told me to tell you to contact her as soon as you were done with your girlfriend."

This couldn't be good and he wasn't looking forward to what was going to be on the other end of this call. "Thank you, Katrina, I'll get back to her ASAP."

"And Mr. McMahon?"

"Yes?" he said, wondering if there was more bad news that he'd have to deal with.

"I like her," Katrina nodded. Shane just smiled and ducked his head.

"I like her too."

Emma went down to the lobby and looking at her watch and seeing she had hours before Shane would even possibly come home and seeing as how she was in the building anyways, she decided to find out where Stephanie's office was and drop in on her future cousin-in-law. She walked to the front desk and asked where Stephanie's office was. After the receptionist calling up and confirming that she knew this woman, she was directed to where Stephanie's office was, which was two floors below Shane's. She rode the elevator and found it pretty easily.

"I don't know why, but I always thought your parents would stick you in a broom closet," Emma said as she was waved in by Stephanie's own secretary.

Stephanie laughed and looked up. "You know, I'm kind of surprised by that too, but I would've figured they'd put me in like an old, decrepit men's toilet so I would have to use a urinal to put all my books on."

"It'd be convenient for Chris," Emma said, "He wouldn't have to leave for any bathroom breaks, he could just talk to you while peeing."

"Yeah and now we've crossed over into gross territory," Stephanie said, "and if you haven't noticed, my office is considerably smaller than Shane's and they've dumped me a few floors below him. He gets the big, nice office."

"I did notice a significant lack of size around here, but the impressive Pez collection deterred my mind away from thinking it out loud."

"Can you believe I got all of those at a flea market? I didn't even intend to start the collection, but you know what they say, if you see a lot of Pez dispensers for sale at a flea market, you've got to pick them up."

"Wow, that is so inspirational, who said that, Dalai Llama?"

"Gandhi," Stephanie nodded. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I came to see your brother," Emma said, "so I figured I'd come see what you were up to and see if you want to blow this ship and come shopping with me."

"You're in luck, I've literally been sitting here for the past hour and a half doing nothing but surfing the internet and then twirling around in my chair and seeing how many times I had to go around before I definitely got dizzy and we're not talking like, a little dizzy, we're talking equal to being drunk dizzy."

"And the magic number is?"

"42," Stephanie said proudly. "I finished all my work just after lunch so I don't have anything to do for the rest of the day. I try to look busy for my parents, but most of the time I finish early and just sit around for a while before I finally decide that if I sit here one more minute, I will start swinging from the rafters except there are no rafters, so essentially I would be a trapeze artist without the trapeze, which would just be an artist and I can't draw."

"When do you think your parents are going to realize that you are in fact, super-genius, and that you slack off most of the time because you get your work done way ahead of everyone else?"

"For my sake, hopefully never because then I wouldn't get time to play hooky like you obviously want me to do."

"I'm transparent."

"Like a window, so what's up?"

"I wanted to go shopping," Emma said. "Tonight is going to be a special night for me and Shane and-"

"You want me to go out there and pick out your sex clothes with my brother. Well, this is something I never thought that I would ever encounter. When I think of sex and my brother, which, frankly, comes up…oh wait, I've _never_ thought of sex and my brother, but if I did, I would really think it would be like, inserting a plug into a socket and getting some sort of electrical charge."

"I think there's an electrical charge when I touch him," Emma said smugly.

"And you are just determined to make me forget that Shane is my brother, aren't you? I'm going to have to wipe his entire existence from my memory. Why wasn't I born robot so that I could just have you press a few buttons on my neck panel and then erase them?"

"Because you were born with a human heart, Stephanie."

"Ahh yes, I was born with the capability to love. Next thing you know, I'm going to find some abandoned lion cub and then I'm going to have to raise him like he was my own and then when I release him into the wild he'll come right back to me and then the music will swell and we'll prove that love transcends species."

"I can be your agent when you sell the movie rights," Emma said. "So come on, grab your purse and we'll go buy some sex clothes and just so you aren't too squicked out by it, you can buy some sex clothes for you and Chris."

"All I have to do is smear some chocolate over me and he's set to go. Chris is very, very easy to please."

"Well damn, I wanted to go classy, but I guess we can go to one of those shops that sells the edible underwear."

Stephanie laughed and stood up, grabbing her purse. "I'm sure I can find something. Maybe they'll have lingerie that has little pancakes all over it, there's nothing he likes more than sex and pancakes, preferably together."

"And off we go," Emma said, looping her arm through Stephanie's.

Shane stared at the phone for a little while longer. He had told Katrina that he would call his mother immediately, but immediately wasn't working for him. He really didn't want to discuss his personal life with his parents. It wasn't any of their business who he saw or didn't see. He knew they wouldn't approve of Emma, even though she was beautiful, smart, successful, and as driven as he was. All they would see was that she was not from one of their friends' families and that she would be unacceptable as such. He finally dialed his mother's extension and her secretary immediately put him through.

"Mom, you wanted me to contact you?"

"Girlfriend!" Linda exclaimed. "Why is this the first I've heard of her and who is this girl? Do we even know her? I don't think I've ever seen her in my life."

Shane didn't want to throw in the "related to Chris Jericho" wrench in the conversation right now, so he played it safe. "I met her at a party-"

"What party? A party one of our friends was having?"

"No, a party one of my…friends was having," Shane said. "She was there and we hit it off."

"Who is her family?"

"Her family is fine."

"Is she from Connecticut?"

"No, she's not from Connecticut."

"I don't like this, I don't think you should see this girl anymore. We don't know anything about her, anything about her family. I think it would be the right decision to cut this off now when it's still new. I have this wonderful girl I can set you up with, her name is Marjorie. I really think you'll like her."

"Mom, I'm happy with Emma," Shane told her gently.

"Oh, Shane, you can do much better."

"Mom, I don't want your help with this."

"Shane, listen to me, your father and I have tried very hard to keep up the reputation of this family and I will not have Stephanie _and _you openly defy us. Isn't it bad enough that your sister has completely ignored any and all concern we've had for her and has chosen to marry herself off to what essentially boils down to the help?"

"The help?"

"He's an employee, a _wrestler_. We've warned her time and time again not to get involved with them, but she didn't listen."

"She's happy though, Mom."

"Yeah, until she realizes that he's probably going to cheat on her," Linda dismissed and Shane could only wonder how his parents were so blind to the devotion Chris had for Stephanie. The way they were around each other, it was like, it was like they could only understand each other, like they had their own language they only understood and nobody else was privy to, how could their parents not see this?

"I don't think he'd do that."

"This isn't about her anyways, it's about you."

"Mom," Shane started.

"What?" He took a deep breath.

"I don't care what you think."

And then he hung up the phone.


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope that you don't mind the Shane/Emma stuff in the story, I think it adds to it, but let me know if you don't like it. Hope you enjoy, review if you feel like it, but no pressure to do so. :)

* * *

Shane walked into Stephanie's office to see her gathering some things together, files and what not, shoving them into her bag. She looked as unkempt as she usually did. There was just something about Stephanie that always looked untidy. Even in a business suit, there was something disheveled about her, a shirt a bit untucked, her hair a little loose, just something. He was just starting to see that was how she was. She took her work seriously and she did her work well. She just didn't look typical while she did it.

"Hey," he said from the doorway.

She looked up from her desk, "Oh, hey, Shane."

"What's this?" he asked, his fingers skimming over the shopping bag sitting on her desk.

"Emma and I went shopping a little while ago, just got back and I'm picking up some paperwork before I head home," she explained to him.

"It's only 3:20," he said, looking at his watch.

"All my work is done for the day," she shrugged, "you see, Shane, I have this fast forward remote and when I press it, I go into supersonic speed and I get my work finished before anyone, why do you think I work with my door closed, I don't want anyone to see it, could freak them out and then people would faint and then it would start a chain reaction and then people would think there was some sort of toxic gas in the building."

"Okay, I get it, you finished your work," he told her, starting to open the bag, "what did you get?"

"Shane, I like to think that you value your eyeballs, you know, they help you see, they help you make eye contact, you can drive because of them, you don't walk into walls, you can comb your hair. If you like those eyeballs, you won't open up that bag."

"What," then he got it, "oh! Oh, sorry."

"I'm just thinking of your safety," she said, "have you considered looking into helmets, I hear they're not just for bike riding anymore."

"You won't believe what I just did," he said, getting to the point.

"Wait, wait, let me guess, let me guess. Okay, I think that you donned a spaceman suit, then drove to New York and scaled the Empire State Building without a harness, possibly dragging a UFO behind you."

"I think I'd be calling you from jail if that happened," he told her. "I-"

"There she is," came a voice, "Ms. WWE Headquarters of Stamford, Connecticut!"

Stephanie laughed and turned to the doorway, giving her best pageant queen wave. "Where's my crown and sash? I demand to have the sash that says that."

"If you get a sash, then I get to have that cheesy 70's game show host helmet hair and the Bob Barker style microphone, so I'll give you yours if you give me mine," he said, coming over to kiss her. "Are you ready to go home, I brought the transporter…you know, the one I've disguised as a car."

"I thought you brought the DeLorean so that we could go back…to the future!" Stephanie said with a cheesy grin. "Kiss me." She puckered up her lips and Chris came over and obediently kissed her. "Shane was just going to tell me something that I wouldn't believe."

"You kayaked across the Atlantic Ocean to get to England for some bangers and mash and then you jet-skied back here in time to come here and tell us something we wouldn't believe?"

"No, I stood up to Mom," Shane told her and he was obviously proud of the fact.

Stephanie's eyes widened, "Are you kidding me? Because that's beyond unbelievable, that's starting to venture into impossible territory. I mean, this is your mommy that we're talking about."

"I did, she was insulting Emma and Chris and I don't even know what happened, but I was really angry with her and then I hung up on her!"

"You _hung up_ on Mom?" Stephanie said, walking over to Shane and grabbing his cheeks. She looked at him, as if examining him. "Oh what have I done to your operating system? I think I've broken you because this cannot possibly be happening. You've never stood up to them, let alone…I don't think _I've_ ever hung up on them. I don't' think I could be prouder. I'm getting verklempt!"

"She was really making me angry," Shane said.

"Snooks, we've created a monster," Stephanie said. "I feel like a proud parent…not of a monster…or maybe of a monster, maybe we're like Dr. Frankenstein. You know, everyone thinks that Frankenstein is the monster, but he's not the monster, the monster is just Frankenstein's monster, the doctor is Frankenstein. But maybe you are like our monster. We created you and only we can destroy you. Not that we'd destroy you because you're actually kind of awesome now."

"Thanks."

"What was your mom saying about us?" Chris asked, curious. It wasn't that he hadn't heard it all before, but that was about him and not about his cousin. Emma was innocent in this. All she did was like Shane and she was actually getting him out of his shell, something that Shane sorely needed. Shane could be a good guy when he wasn't being his parents' lap dog. Shane lacked the independence that Stephanie had, but he was getting better.

"Well, she…uh…she called you the help," Shane said.

Stephanie laughed, "Chris, since when have you been working as a butler for my mom and dad? And when you're done with them, can you please come back to our house and act as the butler? I want you to address me as Mrs. McMahon, the most honorable and beautiful woman in the world."

"Stephers, I'm not their butler, I'm the gardener."

"But you don't have a green thumb," she said, pulling up his hand and showing him his thumb.

"I use body makeup," he told her. "If you take a cold cloth to this finger, I guarantee that it will be green. Your mother just likes me to be the gardener so I have to scoop up manure. That's why I smell sometimes."

"And not because you burp all the time, Snooks?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm having a memory lapse," Chris shrugged.

"You guys, back to Earth, please?" Shane said.

"Sorry," Stephanie said, turning back to Shane as Chris wrapped his arms around her waist. "It's just ridiculous that she called Chris the help, I mean, who even says stuff like that any more. He's not her servant, she doesn't work as her slave or anything. He's her employee, sure, but the help? That's like saying Chris is my betrothed, it's stupid."

"He is your betrothed."

"But nobody uses the word betrothed anymore, that's the point I'm trying to make, Mom using the word 'help' is so old-fashioned. Besides, she's said worse to Chris and I think the fact she's not coming to our wedding pretty much sums up how she feels about Chris. You have to learn to not care about it, don't sweat the little stuff."

"What did she say about Emma?"

"She's just concerned because Emma isn't someone that she knows and well, you know how she is, she's more…I don't know, she's got more spirit than I do, I guess," Shane said, suddenly feeling very insecure. What would someone like Emma ever see in him anyways? He worked too much, listened to his parents too much and had no self-confidence. He was convinced Stephanie had gotten the lion's share of that.

"She didn't insult Emma, did she?" Chris said, "I mean, really insult her, like, say bad stuff about her."

"No, nothing like that, I wouldn't have…I don't think I would have tolerated it if she'd said something like that. I just…it felt good to tell off Mom, to tell her to leave me alone, hell, it even felt good to hang up on her."

"Good, that's good, Shane. You shouldn't feel like you need to constantly be under her thumb for every second of every day."

"I don't, but I better get out of here before she finds me. I have a feeling if she talks to me now she's not going to be too happy. I don't want it to slip that I'm going to your wedding. At least not right now. I don't want anything to ruin your day."

"Nothing's going to ruin it," Chris said.

"Either way, Em's waiting for me at my house and I'd rather be there with her. I'll talk to you guys later, have a good night," he said, smiling and waving before he ducked out of the room.

Stephanie turned to Chris, "Well, I think our little experiment is going swimmingly, don't you think so, Dr. Jericho?"

"Oh, splendidly, Dr. McMahon. The subject seems to be slowly coming out of his shell, just as we predicted in our hypothesis," Chris said in an affected British accent. "I daresay we might even get the Nobel Prize."

"Dear me, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Stephanie said, pressing her hand to her chest. "Although I would have a speech prepared for the proper occasion."

"It's good that Shane is getting out of your parents' shadows. He was getting so pale there, you know, because he didn't see the light of day. He was like a vampire."

"I get it, I get it, he was pale, needed a tan, should've got some sun," Stephanie said. "My parents are probably freaking out right now. You know, we really should have gone ahead with our plans to install that two-way mirror in their offices. It would've really come in handy in this moment, going up to watch them, unnoticed."

"Like gorillas in the wild," Chris nodded wistfully.

"I'm surprised the robots haven't barged in here demanding to know what I've done with their son," she said. "I'm sure that they will blame me for this, it'll give them even more incentive to not come to our wedding."

"It bothers you, doesn't it, deep down that they're not coming," he said, taking her face in his hands. "You know you can tell me if it does, I'm not going to judge you for actually having feelings towards your parents."

"The only parents I have are Mom and Dad. The robots have never accepted me and I know that they blame me for a lot of stuff that's happened in my life. I think they thought I was going to go out and get pregnant at 16. At least that's the way they acted towards me, constantly trying to keep me under their thumb. I'm not going to let it bother me. Yeah, it hurt at first, but not anymore. They can't control me like that and Shane is learning that they can't control him either. It was a better late than never situation for him."

"It's not your fault about this, if it's anyone's fault it's mine."

"That's crap and you know it, that's like manure crap, like the stinkiest sewer crap right there, like, the dirtiest, bottom of your shoe crap right there," she said. "I'm not going to let them make me think falling in love with you was some sort of horrible thing. Love is a good thing, love is supposed to be the best thing and the fact that you love _me_ of all people, someone who is difficult and hardheaded and loves candy way too much and likes to sleep in and would probably run you over with a car to get to a good stack of pancakes is more than I ever could have hoped for and damn them for trying to make me believe it's some sort of bad idea. If anything it's their fault and in a way, it serves them right that Shane is not becoming like them. Emma is good for him so damn them."

"Damn the man, save the empire!" Chris cheered.

"I'm getting off my soapbox now," she said, pretending to step off an imaginary soapbox. "Now let's go home and I can put on my own fashion show for you. You did build that catwalk in the hallway that I told you to, right?"

"Yes, approximately 12 inches off the ground, just as you requested. I couldn't get the DJ though so will a beat-up CD player do the trick?"

"As long as it has some kicking jams," she told him.

"As if there were any other kind of jams," he scoffed. "So what did you buy?'

"You'll just have to wait and see."

"Do I get to play the photographer or the journalist?" Stephanie kissed his cheek.

"You get to dress and undress the models," she told him, pulling him towards the elevator.

"Best job ever."


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: Thanks for the reviews for this crazy story, hope you enjoy the chapter and review if you feel like it! :)

* * *

"Shane Brandon McMahon, answer your phone _now_!"

Emma grabbed Shane by his lapels and pressed her lips against his, "Are you going to answer that and leave me here, all alone with nobody to hold me when I'm so cold?"

Shane looked down at his girlfriend. She looked so vulnerable (she wasn't) in her skimpy little outfit, leaning against the counter of his kitchen. He wasn't sure how they ended up here when she'd been lying enticingly on his couch when he came through the door, but it had something to do with the woman yelling over the phone and him somehow dragging Emma in here. He really didn't want to answer his mother, but she sounded so angry.

"I mean, she's mad," Shane said.

"People get mad," Emma said coyly, "but we don't have to let your mom ruin our night, do we? So let her be mad."

"But she…I hung up on her," the guilt was trying to sneak its way into his body. There was still a lot of that old Shane McMahon left and that old Shane McMahon was feeling a little bit guilty for hanging up on his mother and being so rude to her.

"Yes, you did and I'm proud you did," she told him, running her hands up and down his chest, making it hard for him to focus. She leaned up and started kissing his neck, letting her teeth graze against his skin. "She can't control you anymore, she never should have in the first place, don't you think I'm right?"

"I guess," he said as he closed his eyes, any thoughts of his mother fading quickly from his mind. "Dinner…"

"Can wait," she said, tugging him upstairs.

Across town, Chris was sitting on the kitchen counter watching Stephanie look through the cabinets for something to make. "We officially have nothing to eat here."

"We have plenty to eat," Chris told her.

"No, Snooks, we don't," Stephanie said, "All of this requires preparation, tough preparation, opening cans with _can openers_, putting things on the _stove_. Do you realize how difficult this is? You know what we need?"

"A replicator?" Chris said. "We really have got to finish that time machine so that we can go to the future and get one, then we can bring it back here and we'll be ahead our time."

"Why wouldn't we just stay in the future because there are bound to be a million different gadgets that we could use in our everyday lives? Hell, they probably have Inspector Gadgets all over the place, we're probably _all_ part machines."

"How did they do Inspector Gadget, was it like a Robocop type of thing?" Chris said. "I mean, clearly he _was_ human at some point because Penny, his niece, wasn't a robot, I mean, she had that pretty cool diary thing and Brain was pretty much a super dog, but she was related to him so what the hell really happened to him?"

"You'll probably have to go back and watch the series again to see that, but maybe they just wanted to experiment on him and he volunteered for it. Plus, if we lived in the future, we wouldn't have to deal with my parents and doesn't that sound appealing to you, Snooks?"

"It does sound appealing, we could at least get married there without having to think about them, but then people might be wearing really crazy clothes over there and then we wouldn't fit in and they'd think we were witches and we'd get the dunk tank."

"Well, I did want to make a stop at Salem, but I just heard that they had really good produce down there and well, the blacksmithing, how can you beat it, am I right? I was going to get some horseshoes for my invisible horses, their old shoes have not really been doing the job."

"Don't you think it sucks that they _nail_ shoes to a horse's hooves? I mean, would you want your shoes _nailed_ to your feet?"

"It would save me the trouble of trying to find the right shoes, but then, I don't like shoes on my bed, so it'd be a double-edged sword," Stephanie said with a sigh. "So are you going to feed me or what?"

"Horse? You want me to feed you horse or do you want to eat like a horse because I can get you an oat bag, strap it right on."

"As tempting as that sounds because who doesn't love a good set of oats, I want real food and you better feed this," Stephanie said, "or else it will grumble so loud tonight that it will keep you up and you'll have circles under your eyes and then my stomach will laugh at the circles under your eyes and the circles will feel very self-conscious and they'll go into a goth period wherein they will grow darker and darker and then they won't ever go away and you'll have all this really sad music on all the time in your head."

"I don't want your stomach to turn into a bully, so let's get you some food," Chris said, hopping off the counter and grabbing her hand. "What are you in the mood for?"

"Love," Stephanie said, "I'm in the mood for _love_."

"With who? Is there someone else?" Chris asked, twirling her around as she danced around the kitchen, pretending she was in some great hall. "I'm not willing to share the bed, but if this guy wants to take over some of the daily duties, I'm more than okay with that."

"Sorry, you're the only one for me," Stephanie said, pretending to swoon and fall backwards into Chris's arms, but he pulled his arms away and she stumbled backwards. "You're supposed to catch me, Snooks!"

"Sorry, Stephers, but I have to reserve my back. I wouldn't want it to go out because I had to catch you and then I'd have to lie on the ground and probably retire and raise dogs or something," he said as they walked towards the door, grabbing their coats along the way. "So what do you want to eat, I'll treat."

"After we get married and we have a joint account, who is going to pay?"

"We'll take turns, but then every once in a while, we'll use our solo accounts, you know, to keep the marriage on its toes, like who knows what's going to happen?" he told her, kissing her temple. "You feel like going for Thai?"

"When am I ever _not_ in the mood for Thai," she said, opening the front door just in time to see her mother storming up her walkway. "Oh look, the brigade is here. Hello, Mom, what can I do for you this fine evening?"

"What have you done to your brother?" Linda demanded to know.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Stephanie told her. "I haven't done anything to him except maybe stick gum under his desk so that when he puts his hands under-"

"I'm not in the mood for your jokes," Linda told her.

"Excuse me, Madam," Stephanie said, giving her mother a mock salute. She didn't care what her mother thought of her anymore. The only reason they kept her employed was because, though loath to admit it, Stephanie was excellent at her job. She no doubt believed that if her parents had their way, they'd send her ass _and_ Chris's ass out the door. They'd land on their feet though if that ever happened.

"Stop it," Linda snapped at her and Chris was about to step up and say something, but Stephanie put a placating hand on his stomach.

"You are at _my_ home," Stephanie told her mother sternly. "That means you do not come here and yell at me or talk to me with the tone you are currently using."

"You are _still_ my daughter," Linda argued.

"I think you gave up that right when you declined to come to your own daughter's wedding," Chris shot back at her.

"Why did Shane hang up on me today?" Linda asked accusingly, eyeing her daughter.

"Did it ever occur to you ask him that?" Stephanie told her. "I know that might seem like the craziest answer, but sometimes the craziest one is the best one, don't you think?"

"He won't answer his phone," Linda said. "He's never hung up on me before, not ever and I just _know_ that you have something to do with this, you always have something to do with things when they get screwed up and this has your fingerprints all over it."

"Hey!" Chris said. "Don't you _dare_ talk to her like that!"

"Do you want to be fired?" Linda turned to him. "Because believe me, Chris, I could fire you right now."

"No, you couldn't," Stephanie told her mother. "Do you have any ideas the kind of penalties you would incur if you were to ever fire Chris? Yeah, that's right, Mom, I'm calling your bluff. If you were to fire Chris for no reason, he could sue you for termination with no due cause and do you know why he could do that? Because I made sure to meet with the lawyers with my _own_ lawyers and I have so many clauses in Chris's contract that it would probably take you a year to figure them all out. Believe me, there's no way Chris is leaving this company without a _huge_ chunk of your money."

Linda wanted to say something, to bite back somehow, but there was nothing she could say. Her daughter was always smarter than either Vince or Linda gave her credit for. Sure, they saw that she was smart, but they never saw just _how_ smart Stephanie could be. It wasn't that she was hiding it under her quirky exterior, but her parents had never given her the time of day for them to learn it. It was always what Shane was accomplishing, how successful Shane was being. She'd been the mistake, the little surprise while her brother had been bred as the golden boy. She'd accepted it, but that didn't mean she was going to stop being herself.

"Just tell me what you did to Shane?"

"I didn't do _anything_ to Shane," Stephanie told her mother.

"That's a lie."

"It's not a lie," Stephanie said. "You know, he's coming to my wedding, uh huh, even before you rejected my invitation, an invitation that I didn't have to send to you. He wanted to come because he realized we were family. For the first time in my life, one of my family members supported me. So of course I wasn't going to turn that away. I was going to return the favor. So yes, I'm sorry if I let my _brother_ into my life, but don't come here and say that I have made any of his decisions for him. His decisions have been his own, not mine."

"He's coming to your wedding?"

"Yes, he is, he even offered to walk me down the aisle if that was something I wanted," Stephanie said, "and it felt nice to have someone in my family accept my decision. I love Chris, Mom, I've loved Chris for a very long time and I'm sorry that he doesn't fit into whatever mold you saw my husband having and I'm sorry that I don't fit into the perfect debutante daughter that you wanted, but I don't care what you think and frankly, I'm glad that Shane has proven that he doesn't have the hive mentality because he's actually a decent guy."

"I can't believe you're trying to take my son away."

"Did you not just hear what she said?" Chris stepped in. "She didn't steal anyone away. Shane is an adult, he's not some kid you can pull on a leash around somewhere and make him think like you do. He's happy right now and who are you to impede on either of your children's happiness? That's not your right anymore, yeah, you gave birth to them, but what have you ever done to show Stephanie you loved her and I'm not talking about putting her in the best schools or providing her with things, but when did you ever give her time or your attention, huh? It's a testament to how amazing Stephanie is that she overcame all that inattention and still turned out to be a wonderful, compassionate person."

"I don't have to stand here and take this," Linda said. "If you see your brother, tell him that we _are _going to sit down and talk with him over his recent behavior."

"Oh, what, you're going to torture him now?" Stephanie asked.

"Just give him the message," Linda stormed back to her car and took off in a hurry.

"What the hell is her problem?" Chris rolled his eyes as he kissed Stephanie's forehead. "You okay, Stephers?"

"Nothing is going to get me down, especially not her. She just has to come to some awful truths is all, but I do hope that we're ringside for that. I want the VIP treatment, limo, designer gown, red carpet because that is going to be one hell of a show."

"You think your brother is going to stand up to her?"

"I think he's had just about enough."


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: Much love to all those who have read and/or reviewed. Hope you like the chapter, I really liked writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it just as much. If you want to review, that'd be great, thanks. :)

* * *

"You would not believe the gossip I just heard…"

"Edge the wedge," Stephanie said, tapping her chin, "now you're just baiting me into a guessing game, but what's the prize if I win?"

"I will sleep with you, right here, right now, convince you not to marry that nerd, Jericho, and save you from a life filled with awful movie references and obscure trivia," Edge told her, kissing her on the forehead as Stephanie pretended to wilt against his lap, looking up at him with her hand to her forehead in a classic fainting pose.

"Oh, you poor, kind soul, thinking only of me," Stephanie said, "but did it ever occur to you that I _like_ those movie references and obscure trivia."

"Then you clearly need someone to take you somewhere and get the brainwash out of you," Edge told her. "I will be that guy!"

"You're too sweet," she said, sitting in his lap. "And I truly appreciate all the _hard_ work you're willing to do for me. I'm sure sleeping with me would have been oh so hard because you see, I like to do every pose in the _Kama Sutra_ and I probably would have worn you out from the flying dove monkey brain pose."

"I'm quite flexible," he told her, "now what are you doing wasting your time with Chris? Come on, you go out with Randy and you don't go out with me before you settle down? What did he have that I didn't? Now I won't even get a chance with you? Where is the fairness of this?"

"Should I convince Chris to dump me for a day so you can go out with me and realize that I'm totally not what you want? Because I'm not sure he'll go for that idea unless Chris is allowed to go out with someone and what if suddenly, Trish decides he's forgiven him and then they fall in love again and she steals my wedding! I don't think the dress would fit her, it'd be a little long, but she could just hold it up and then everyone would go expecting me and they would pull away the veil and surprise, Trish!"

"But you'd have me so it'd all work out," he said, "I mean, come on, Stephy, Randy over me? Me, who has been your friend through thick and thin? I still can't believe this gross oversight."

"I'm sorry you didn't come along fast enough," she told him, patting his cheek. "But believe me, Edge the Wedge, I would bone you anytime if I weren't engaged. I would probably invite you back to my hotel right now, then just throw you down on the bed and ride you like you were the roller coaster my parents never let me go on when I was a kid."

"I appreciate that," he told her, kissing her cheek. "So the rumor mill, now that we're getting back to it…"

"Now this mill, it runs on water, I'm assuming because we're going to need the energy for our blacksmith business. Chris and I were thinking of shoeing horses for a living," Stephanie said, "maybe just as a side business on the weekends. Chris bought these chaps, now I'm not sure if they wear chaps while they blacksmith as I'm not up on my Wild West history, if in fact it was really _wild_. It could be an exaggeration to up the reputation. I mean, if you called it the Moderately Ruled West, who's going to want to dress up as cowboys? Nobody, that's who and suddenly jeans are loose and baggy!"

"This mill is run on the blood, sweat, and tears of those who gossip like champs," Edge said, "so, getting on with it before I was so rudely interrupted with Moderately Ruled West history, the rumor mill is that your brother, your seemingly sane, competent, boring, puts you to sleep brother is on the outs with your parents. Now, I'm very much used to this news being about you and not very much gossip since everyone likes you-"

"What? Really? Well, this is such a surprise, I had no idea I was so beloved. When will the shrine go up?"

"We're working it out with God, you know, the whole false idol deal. We've got him to come down on the statue of gold, but he really doesn't think our placement in front of a church is appropriate, but we're willing to negotiate down," he told her.

"Good, good, just make sure you get my best features," she said, "and it's true, my brother is slightly on the outs with my parents. They found out that he's actually coming to my wedding and they both probably nearly died from the shock that my brother could care about me, considering that my parents don't care enough about me to come."

"I can't believe that," Edge said seriously. "What kind of parents don't come to their kid's wedding? Well, actually, I can believe that because my dad doesn't and hasn't cared about me since I was two, but your parents are right there and they're openly defying it. What do they see so wrong in it if you and Chris love each other? And despite the fact that you've passed up chances to be with me, you and Chris are like, the best matched couple on the universe."

"Because they don't see Chris for who he is, they see him as an employee and a brash one at that and you try to change their minds," Stephanie said, then shook her head, "I've been trying to do it for years on sheer willpower alone, but unless I get access to their circuits, it's all going to be fruitless in the end."

"Then you should really make that freeze ray."

"I've got my top scientists working on it, like in that lab in the movie _Richie Rich_. You'd think that if he had a lab like that, he'd want them to be doing stuff like curing cancer and not making electronic bees. Sure, it all helped him in the end when he was fending off the bad guys, but think of the general population, Richie, think of the masses!"

"He did when he was playing baseball with the city kids and invited them to his house. That's some charity work right there."

"I don't think my parents would know charity work if it smacked them in the face with a dead fish," Stephanie said, "their charity is donating money for the tax write-off and though I'm extremely glad for the recipients of said cash, my parents do not have good intentions to go along with it. In fact, my father grumbles the whole time until he signs the final 'n' in McMahon. He's oh so charitable."

"At least there is money getting out there," Edge reasoned and Stephanie nodded. "Why don't your parents like you, I don't get it?"

"Oh, do I get praised now for my incredible beauty and rapier's wit?" She fanned herself, "Do your worst, Adam, my dear?"

"No, I'm just being truthful. Do they even know how popular you are here? That everyone would be willing to bend over backwards for you? Wait, of course they don't know because then they'd try to use you as a pawn whenever they wanted something done of the wrestlers or crew in general."

"I think they'd actually have to notice me to do that."

"I just don't get it, I'm not even trying to suck up, but everyone likes you around here, well, I don't think Hunter likes you, but that's because you dumped his ugly ass face where it belonged and that's the story I'm sticking to. Bastard. But everyone else, okay, maybe not Trish because you kind of stole her man-"

"I did not steal Chris," Stephanie said, "the man chose to be a coward all on his own, but because little 'ol moi happened to be the reason is beyond my control. It's not like I hypnotized him to fall in love with me and only me, but incidentally, never say the words chicken star commander to him, it's all very embarrassing, just not in your best interest."

"Even so, you don't think the two are associated in Trish's mind. Hmm…I had my wedding all planned, I was in my dress and then my fiancé doesn't show up, la la la, we break up and suddenly he's with his best friend, suspicious," he said in a sing-song voice.

"Well, when you put it like that," Stephanie said, furrowing her brow.

"Steph, I'm sorry," Edge said, noticing the change in her demeanor. "I didn't mean to make you think of that, everyone knows that it was just circumstance. It wasn't like you did steal him, you would never do that."

"I know," Stephanie said, turning to him and giving him a soft smile, "but you did prove that I'm not as popular as you think. As for Shane, he'll figure his own way, he's a late-bloomer that one, but he's coming around."

"I may actually have to like the guy is what you're saying?"

"You may, I know, shocking!" Stephanie told him. "You two might even get along so well you'll go on adventures and you'll need a catchy nickname for the both of you like Edge and the former Robot Tour the World!"

"That is neither adventurey nor is it catchy," he deadpanned.

"I'm thinking on my feet here, what do you think I am, a improve specialist," Stephanie said, seeing Trish pass by the door to catering. "Okay, my darling, the man who got away and whose sensitive touch I will never know-" Edge kissed her neck chastely. "Why Edge, I do believe I just cheated on my fiancé, if you truly believe you are the man for me, then you must go challenge my betrothed to a duel."

"Yo, Chris, I kissed your broad on the neck!" Edge called out across catering to Chris, who had just walked in through the door to Stephanie's back so she didn't see him, but she looked over her shoulder.

"Snooks, I swear, this isn't what it looks like!" Stephanie gasped, pretending to be caught in an illicit and compromising position.

"Doesn't she taste good?" Chris nodded with a wink. "What's going on?"

"I was just leaving, Snooks, take my place on Edge's lap and keep him warm."

"Yeah, you stay over there," Edge told him.

"Where are you going?" Chris asked.

"Work, job, things to do," she said, leaning down to kiss him. "Hmm…"

"Hmm?" Chris asked.

Stephanie leaned down and pressed a kiss briefly against Edge's lips, "Yeah, I made the right choice, sorry Edge, totally felt more sparks with Chris. Snooks, kiss Edge and see if there's the same for you."

"I'll pass, Stephers" he said, pulling her down for a better kiss. "Yup, only sparks I'll ever feel."

Stephanie swooned and stuck her tongue out at Edge, "And you expected me to leave that for you."

"It was worth a try!" Edge called after her as she left catering. Stephanie walked down the hallway in the direction Trish had gone. When Edge had brought her up, it made Stephanie realize that she'd never really had a sit down with the woman since her aborted wedding to Chris. Chris had talked to her and she'd made it very clear that for the rest of her tenure with the company, she didn't want a thing to do with Chris, but the same had not been extended to her and though, logically, she knew that it probably included her in that, she wanted to clear the air with the other woman.

She came upon the women's locker room and walked inside because she had all the correct girlie parts to be in here. There were a few divas milling about and she tapped Torrie on the shoulder, who turned around and grinned. "Hey, Wonder Woman, what's up?"

"Will I never live that down, Torrie, will I never be able to live a normal life?" Stephanie asked.

"When you grab a tablecloth, tie it around your neck, climb on top of a table, declare yourself Wonder Woman and then jump into Chris's arms because you want to 'fly,' I think you've earned yourself a nickname."

"Fine," Stephanie sighed, "anyways, did you see Trish come in here?"

"Nope, I've been in here and she hasn't, oh wait, no, she came in, grabbed some wrist tape and then left again a few minutes ago, but definitely not here, why? Kind of weird you wanting to find her of all people."

"Because I think we need to talk, we've never…after…"

"Oh," Torrie nodded, "well, good luck, I'm sure that will be an interesting conversation, you going to sell tickets."

"Nah, I'm going to be," she ran her hand in front of her face and changed her smile to a frown, "serious Stephanie."

"There's a first time for everything."

"Very funny, see you later," Stephanie waved and then left, choosing to go left again since she hadn't passed Trish. She wandered around for a little bit before she saw Trish sitting on a trunk in a side hallway, taping her wrists. Stephanie took a deep breath and walked over to her. She was rarely intimidated by moments, usually taking everything in stride, but she knew that Trish held a grudge and rightfully so. If she'd been stood up, she would've been humiliated too and she would've kicked Chris so hard, he would have landed on Mt. Everest. "Trish?"

Trish's head whipped to the side, "Yes, Ms. McMahon."

"Well that one stung," Stephanie said, then eyed the expanse of space on the trunk next to Trish, "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"It's your company," Trish shrugged carelessly.

"Actually, that's where you're wrong, I own some shares, but my parents still own their number and the company would only fall into my hands if there was a catastrophic disaster that wiped out the entire human population save for me," she said, trying to lighten the mood in the way only she could, but well, Trish hated her so it was difficult. "And that one didn't go over well. Look, I'm going to be straight with you, no joking, no quips, no references-"

"Are you sure you're capable?"

"Ouch, that one did hurt," Stephanie said. "I never intended for what happened to happen. It was never my intention to fall in love with Chris, hell, when you two broke up, I wasn't…aware that I even liked him as more than a friend. He never pressed me, never declared his love to me while he was with you and while we both know that I was the reason why you two broke up, or at least one of them, I don't want it to be a thing between us. We're going to see each other for the foreseeable future and Chris and I are going to be a married couple and while we don't plan to be the cutesy type of married couple, we are going to be a married couple and knowing that you hate us both is really…well, it's unsettling."

"What do you want me to do, Stephanie, give you my blessing because I don't," Trish said, "I was standing in front of hundreds of people without a groom. I had to have my father tell everyone the wedding was off because I was so embarrassed and crying my eyes out because I was left at the altar, like some movie! Where were you though, going after Chris, knowing _exactly_ where he was because you're Stephanie and he's Chris and I'm just supposed to step aside to make way for the greatest love story ever told!"

"Well, that's not exactly the truth," Stephanie said, but then shook her head; it was neither the time nor the place, "I'm not asking for your blessing, I'm not asking you to come to the wedding or be okay with the wedding. What I am asking is that we simply be civil to one another. There may come a time when we have to interact and I don't want the tension."

"Too bad."

"Okay, but just know this, Trish, I came to you to try and talk about what happened because I don't want this between us. Whatever you do with Chris is your business, if you choose never to forgive him, fine, but I was trying to tell you my side of things. I never intended to hurt you, I encouraged Chris to try with you, I talked to him about you because he's my best friend and I never bad-mouthed you to him. I did not choose for him to leave you that day, that was his choice. If I was a reason, that is not my fault either. I'm not saying be mad at Chris, but what kind of life is it that you're just going to be bitter and angry at everything and everyone. It happened, I'm sorry, Chris is sorry and that's all we can both give you. If that's not enough, it's not enough, but it's all we can give."

"Give me some time, Stephanie," Trish said, looking down. "It still hurts."

"I know, I didn't go through the exact same thing, but my relationship with Hunter was…I don't hold a grudge against him though, Chris does, but I'm over it and someday, you will be too especially when you realize that Chris is not an easy guy."

"He's easy for you," Trish laughed, "I don't think he ever would have been easy for me."

"I know it's cliché, but there's someone out there better for you."

"Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry for acting like an idiot, Stephanie. I know you didn't initiate anything and I know feelings can't be controlled so easily, but I'll just need time. Thanks for the talk," Trish said, "I'm glad you came up to me."

"Thanks for listening."


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: Thanks for reading, enjoy the chapter! :)

* * *

"We want you to come over for dinner."

"You're actually inviting me to your sanctuary, to your lair?" Stephanie asked, lowering her voice to make it sound almost scary.

"Stephanie, we didn't ask for the histrionics," Linda told her, "we just want you for dinner. We're having a family dinner and seeing as how you are part of this family-"

"Since when?" Stephanie asked. "Because the last time that I checked, you and Dad were pretty much trying to push me out. I'm sure that you're starting the adoption papers now for some poor, orphaned debutante to be the daughter that you've always wanted."

"Stephanie, you are our daughter and when we request your presence, it is your job to come whether you like it or not."

"I'm not a dog, no matter what collars I may wear in the bedroom," Stephanie said, just to freak her mom out. She almost wished they weren't on the phone so she could see her mom's face. She hoped that it was something akin to horror and then disgust and finally, just melting into a faceless, shapeless pile of goo…maybe like flubber, but much less animated, so perhaps more like a beanbag chair.

"Stephanie," her mother said again and Stephanie found it funny how her mother started off every sentence with her name. It was always said in such a way that was in its own way degrading, but also hilarious because it was like her mother was trying to rein her in but was failing miserably. She'd always loved to get her mother riled up. Stephanie got along fabulously with her grandparents and she remembered once, her Grandma Vicky had told her all about how she was the most defiant little toddler and how her parents had constantly tried to get her to obey to no avail.

"Mother," Stephanie countered with her own tone of voice.

"You are coming to dinner, do you understand?" Her mother wasn't joking now, but wait, her mother _never_ joked so it was no different from any other time she'd ever spoke to her mother.

"I don't have to come to dinner, Mother. I'm not your slave, I'm not living under your roof, there's nothing that dictates that you can force me to come to dinner. Also, even if I were to come to your house for dinner, you've made a glaring omission with someone very important in my life," Stephanie said, bringing it up for the first time. She knew her mother was avoiding the subject altogether, but Stephanie wasn't stupid. "If you even have a shot in hell of getting me to come over there, then you have to invite Chris too."

"I said this was a family dinner," Linda told her.

"One, Chris will _be_ family in a very short time whether you like it or not and two, do you really think I'm coming over there without backup? I could walk in the door and be ambushed by you and Dad and sent to Peru or something because you think I'm such a heinous daughter. And three, finally three, you aren't even coming to my wedding to the man I love, explain to me how you doing that is okay, but me refusing dinner is somehow a blot on the marker of my life, not that I don't have a lot of blots so adding one more probably doesn't make a difference, but let's say you started a new marker and now there's a huge blot on it-"

"You know our feelings on this…wedding," her mother nearly spat out the word.

"Yes, I know your feelings and you clearly know my feelings about this dinner," Stephanie told her, "so you really think I'm actually contemplating going?"

"This is not up for debate."

"You know, if I were smart, I would trade you my wedding for this dinner, but I've recently decided that if all you're going to do is badmouth my fiancé and treat him and me like crap that I don't want you at our wedding. I don't want you there to mess up everything. Chris and I are going to have a blast, just so you know. Our wedding is going to be amazing and everyone there is going to have a great time and you can just sit at home and do whatever it is that you and Dad do, I think it's go into your stasis chambers so that you can remain fresh, but that's really up for debate."

"I don't appreciate the attitude."

Stephanie couldn't believe the audacity her mother had over this. She did not want to go and pretend like she was happy about anything her parents had done recently. She was upset, yes, that they weren't coming to her wedding, but she was over that. Then her mother expects _her_ to come and feel obligated? It wasn't going down that way. Her mother was just angry because she'd lost hold of her precious golden boy.

"I don't appreciate the fact that you hate the fact I'm getting married."

"What do you know about this girl Shane is dating?"

"And here comes the truth!" Stephanie said. "I didn't even have to use my bad cop, good cop routine, I guess the handcuffs go back under the bed. I knew that you couldn't be calling for a social thing and dinner, of course dinner, because then you could grill me for information, but I ain't no snitch, Mommy dearest, you ain't gonna get me to crack, no siree!"

"Would you just cut it out for two minutes?" Linda implored her.

"Cut what out, being myself? So sorry to have inconvenienced you with what we idiot's call personality," Stephanie said. "So the only reason you want me to come to dinner is so you can ask about Shane's girlfriend?"

"You and your brother seem awfully chummy these days and he won't return my calls."

"Has it occurred to you, Mother, that it's because of the way you treat us?" Stephanie asked her, her voice losing the comical edge. "I know you _think_ you did the best for us and I'm not going to dispute that you've done a lot for us and that we don't appreciate it, but Shane and I are adults and don't you think you should treat us as individual people who can find their own ways."

"Yes, I let you find your own way and look at what you're doing. We provided all the best for you and you are marrying a wrestler, one of the _employees_, instead of a doctor or lawyer or even an engineer that we wanted for you."

"Oh, well, _excuse me_ for falling in love with someone so clearly beneath me," Stephanie said. "Lives don't go according to plans, Mom. You started off as a paralegal or something, didn't you? You didn't think you'd be running a wrestling company and yes, Chris is an employee as you say, but so are a lot of people who deserve respect for putting money in your pocket."

"He's fine, just not for you."

"He's fine _for_ me," Stephanie said, "and Emma is _fine_ for Shane. If he wants to talk to you about her, if he wants to tell you about her, let him do that, if he doesn't, then don't push your way into it. But maybe if you were nicer, then he would approach you."

"I've been exemplary in this situation, but your brother is the one who is refusing to even so much as call me, let alone see me in any capacity."

"Then give him room to breathe."

Why was this concept so difficult for her mother to ascertain? Well, no, she knew why. Shane was supposed to be the golden child, the one they trotted out to friends and colleagues as the example of the perfect child they had raised. She remembered when she was a child and her brother had always been introduced around and she would be breezily dismissed and then forgotten about immediately afterwards. Her achievements just weren't as grand as her brother's because her brother did it in the way that her parents had wanted. Never-mind the fact she'd graduated with just as many honors.

Sometimes it was really difficult to not be bitter about the whole thing. It really boiled down to the fact that Stephanie did not like being bitter. She did not like being that kind of person and if it meant tamping down the way her parents had treated her growing up, then so be it. She wasn't going to let bitterness and resentment ruin her life. She wanted to _live_ life, live it ways her parents had never allowed her. She had blossomed alright, but her parents kept trying to shove her right back into the bulb.

"I don't know what you did to him…"

"Mom, please stop saying I _did_ anything to him. What do you really think I did, took him down to my basement laboratory, hooked him up to a machine and switched his brain with a chicken? Because I haven't seen him clucking or laying eggs so I'm not sure where you're going with this."

"You have turned him against us!"

"Are we really going through this again?" Stephanie groaned. "Look, it's not happening, get Shane to talk to you himself or not at all, but don't try to butter me up and try to get me to dinner when you don't really mean it, thank you, goodbye, Mother, hope you have a wonderful evening."

Stephanie hung up the phone and immediately dialed her brother's number. "Hello, this is Shane's phone, he is otherwise incapacitated and naked, but if you want to leave your number-"

"Gross, Emma, please tell me you're joking."

"I am, he's right here and glaring at me, mortified," Emma said, "I knew it was you, phone said so and Shane just saw the caller ID and now he's freaking out that I even suggested that he was naked. He's so cute."

Stephanie laughed, "You are a horrible influence on him."

"Promise?" Emma laughed. "Do you want to talk to him?"

"Yeah, can I?"

"You may," Emma said, then handed the phone off.

"Hey, Stephanie, what's up?"

The change in her brother's tone was remarkable. There was a warmth to Shane's voice that she had never heard directed at her, let alone anyone. Shane had never seemed to let anyone in, been a robot in every sense of the word, but now he sounded as warm as a cup of hot chocolate after you've built a massive snow town in the backyard and given up on the Godzilla snow monster after building it's big toe. It was lovely to hear.

"Mama Bear is on the prowl, I repeat, Mama Bear is on the prowl."

"Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me," Shane said, then a few moments later, "Okay, I think I've got it, Mom called you."

"Give the man a prize! You can choose anything from the bottom shelf, we've got some lovely fly swatters or face stickers, your choice. If you want to play again, then you might be able to win your lovely lady a teddy bear from the top row."

"I'll take the face stickers," Shane joked, yes _joked_! "So what does she want now?"

"You, back under her claws, I mean tutelage," Stephanie corrected herself comically. "Now, I'm not normally one to actually give advice because sometimes you give advice and then it's really bad advice and then you've got people chasing you and you're going in one door and coming out a door on the opposite side of the room and nobody knows how that happened because it goes against physics or something, but what I'm trying to say is that I think you need to talk to Mom."

"Yeah, those are words I've never heard out of your mouth and I'm inclined to believe you're joking…or that you have a gun to your head and Mom herself is making you read these lines, in which case, kudos on the performance," Shane joked again!

"For a moment I thought I was having an aneurysm, but no, I'm being serious. She's not going to even remotely back off until you talk to her and you know what, maybe she will like Emma. Emma is super successful and she's smart and pretty-"

"And Chris's cousin," Shane added.

"I would ease Mom and Dad into that one," Stephanie suggested.

"They're not going to like her and I don't want to subject her to that," Shane told his sister. "I don't want her to feel bad about it."

"I wouldn't," Emma interjected, "I could handle it, Shane."

"See," Stephanie said, overhearing their conversation, "she can handle it. So clearly she's absolutely nuts, but you've got to take advantage of the insanity while you can, so that way, you can just plead the fifth when Mom and Dad do really drive her bonkers."

"I'm not putting her through that," Shane said, then turned to Emma, "I'm not putting you through that."

"Shane, if it gets them off your back, I'll do it," she looked so sincere and he sighed.

"Fine, you guys talked me into it," he told them.

"We win, Steph, double tag team win!" Emma said, humming some unknown tune like it was her entrance theme.

"Yeah, you act like this now," Shane said.

"It'll be fine, I'll survive," Emma kissed his cheek.

Shane was just worried their relationship wouldn't.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy! :)

* * *

"We can come for moral support."

"You don't have to."

"It really wouldn't even be that big a deal and Chris and I can whip up some armor out of tinfoil pie plates," Stephanie said as she grabbed a fry from the communal plate. "Chris could stand guard outside since I doubt Mom and Dad would even let him in the house at this point. They'll probably mistake him for the gardener since they never look at 'the help' in the eye and they'll go make Chris weed some plants."

"And I don't want dirt under these," Chris held up his hands. "They're too nice."

"They are nice," Stephanie said and laughed as Shane groaned, "Did I sufficiently scar you, Shane? That's what I was going for because as disgusted as you are right now, it'll be worse than anything Mom and Dad can throw at you guys."

"You two are too much," Emma said. "I'm sure that I'll be fine, I mean, I've already met Linda so I don't think I can make _another_ bad impression, I mean, you're only allowed one impression so I probably already blew it."

"You have no idea what you're really getting yourself into," Chris told her. "I remember when Stephanie and I became friends, her parents almost had heart attacks, I think when they saw us together. I can only imagine the reaction when they found out that we were dating. I'm thinking it was somewhere along the lines of seeing the Hindenburg crash."

"Mixed in with the Titanic sinking," Stephanie added.

"Then what must have been their reaction when they found out you guys were engaged?" Emma asked. "I can't imagine they were thrilled with that."

"It's such a double-edged sword," Stephanie said, "because on the one hand, they've been trying to marry me off. I think they thought that if I married that I would suddenly become a model housewife, you know, polka-dot housedresses with pinned up hair and filmy aprons, just baking all the time and then when I wasn't doing that, being barefoot and pregnant-"

"I do plan to keep her barefoot and pregnant though," Chris nodded. "I want her popping out kids every other year, if she can do like 2 or 3 at a time, this is ideal. I'm looking to make my own hockey team. I think I'm going to call them Jericho's Jaguars because jaguars are really cool, but then, they aren't really winter-y, so maybe the Ice Jaguars, but then if they were made of ice, a puck might cause them to break apart."

"He thinks that I'm going to give him his own hockey team, but I'm really going to repopulate the WWE for future generations," Stephanie nodded, "either way, like I was saying, my parents have been trying to marry me off, but you better believe that it was with someone other than Chris."

"I've seen the guys they tried to set Stephanie up with, I'm surprised they didn't go running for the hills," Shane joked and Stephanie made a face at him.

"I'll have you know that most of them are enjoying some lovely stays in padded cells right now. I'm so hot that I drive men crazy."

"Is it the hotness or your own brand of crazy?" Shane countered.

"I am really regretting making you get a personality. I think I'm going to have to order a new emotion chip for you, get you a whole new personality," Stephanie told him.

"No, you can't do that," Emma linked her arm through Shane's, "because I like the personality he has now."

"Thank you," he leaned over and kissed her briefly.

"Mmm, yum, just what I love, fried pickle kisses," Emma licked her lips and Shane blushed, but she thought it was adorable and ran her hand down his face. "So really, what are my chances that they haven't already pre-judged me?"

"My parents pre-judge everyone," Stephanie said. "If they took more than two seconds to judge someone, they would be totally different people. Look at the way they treat Chris. I mean, Chris is amazing, sweet, kind, funny-"

"Stephers, the ego, keep fanning it and feed me some French fries while you're at it," Chris pretending to lean back in his chair and act hedonistic as Stephanie took a fry, dipped it in some ketchup and then proceeded to paint his face with said ketchup. He growled and frowned, picking up his napkin and wiping his face before grabbing the fry out of Stephanie's fingers and then kissing her. "Not what I meant."

"I don't take well to direction," Stephanie shrugged. "I'm sure that things will be…interesting, Ems, but be prepared for the onslaught."

Emma didn't know what the onslaught would be, but a couple days later, when she was standing outside of Vince and Linda's house, she was trying not to be afraid of whatever it was. She didn't want to cause trouble for Shane; she'd never want to do that. All she wanted was for his parents to realize that she had a presence in their son's life. She could care less what they actually thought of her, but she anted to be acknowledged. Even though they hated Chris, they at least knew of his existence.

"We can turn around," Shane told her, kissing her temple as she smoothed out her skirt. She'd chosen a rather modest black dress, a scoop neck and mid-thigh with some minimal jewelry and her blonde hair falling loosely over her shoulders.

"So they can get on your ass even more, I don't think so," Emma said. "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country!"

Shane laughed at her and pulled her closer, "Stop making me laugh, okay, this is a very serious thing we're doing here."

"No, it's not, it's just your parents. Who cares, Shane, really, who cares what they think? Your life is not their lives, okay? I want you to know that. They do not play a role in your choices. They may be considerations, I consider my parents sometimes, but ultimately, this is about me and it's about you."

"You're so wise."

"I took a course, had to climb a very big mountain, there was a hermit at the top, I stayed there for a couple weeks, learned to grab a fly out of someone's hand, it was all very relaxing," she said, "come on, let's get this over with."

Shane sighed and walked with her to the front door, reaching out to ring the doorbell. The maid answered the door and ushered them in. Emma put on her best smile and thanked her as she was led into the living room where Linda and Vince were sitting. Vince stood up as Emma entered and she took him in and took in the entire house and wondered how in the hell Stephanie had survived in a place like this. Everything was so…perfect and stuffy…perfectly stuffy.

"Mom, Dad, you both look well," Shane said in a voice that Emma had never heard him use before.

"Mr. and Mrs. McMahon, it is so nice to finally meet you," Emma said, extending her hand and hoping she wouldn't get the same icy reception from Linda she did when they met before. Vince reached out to shake her hand and it didn't go unnoticed that he was checking her out too. And it wasn't in the way that a father checks out his daughter's girlfriend to make sure she's not some floozy, but checking out in the way that made her not want to go to the bathroom alone lest he follow her.

"Nice to meet you," Vince grinned and it was creepy. No wonder he didn't like Chris, Chris didn't have a set of breasts.

"Nice to see you again," Linda said politely, but icily. She probably had that tone down pat.

"And you," Emma said, "I'm afraid I didn't make the best impression the first time we met, but I hope to correct that this evening."

"Yes, well, we'll see," Linda said. Emma kept on the smile as Shane gestured for her to sit down.

"Do you want anything to drink, Em?" Shane asked her.

"Club soda with a twist," Emma smiled as Shane went over to the small bar in the corner.

"So Emma, what do you do?" Vince asked.

"I'm a sports agent. I specialize in baseball players and I work with a group based in New York, which is where I live. I have several high-profile clients so I like to think that I'm pretty good at what I do."

"A woman sports agent, do you think you know the game well enough to judge that kind of thing?" Vince asked.

"I'm more than capable of it, thank you, my clients have never once complained about me and I figure if they retain my services for the duration of their tenure than it's a job well done," Emma said. "I'd liken myself to Stephanie. She's good at what she does, isn't she?"

Emma smirked as Shane handed her, her drink. He gave her a pointed look, but she ignored it. "So you know Stephanie?" Linda asked. "I wasn't aware that the two of you knew each other or were friends."

"Stephanie has a lot of friends," Emma responded. "I think she has one of those personalities where you can't help but like her. Everyone I've ever seen her with has liked her, she's almost infectious that way. She's so warm and likeable and she always tries to make you feel included."

Emma was not a wilting violet. She wasn't going to back down from these people, if anything, she was going to stand up for them, not just for Shane and herself, but for Chris and Stephanie. These were the two people who were refusing to go to their daughter's wedding. How could she suck up to them knowing that they didn't love their daughter enough to share in her joy? She couldn't and she wouldn't. She was not the type of person who did that.

"Well, our daughter and I don't see eye to eye," Vince tried to be diplomatic about it.

Emma took a sip of her drink and then held it in her hands. "Yes, so I've heard, but then, I guess when you're as wonderful a person as Stephanie, it's hard to meet up to _her_ standards."

"Emma, you should tell my dad about the Yankees that you represent. He's always been more of a Yankees fan than a Red Sox fan. I think my dad likes to get behind winners."

"Yes, I do represent some of the Yankees," she nodded.

"Do you always plan to do this? What if you were to get married, would you continue to work?" Linda asked. "I mean, of course, I work so it's not a bad thing."

"I do plan to," Emma said, "like you've proven, it's easy enough to do both. But I'm not engaged to your son right now, though, if we ever do become engaged, I would hope that you would show up at the wedding, I've heard that's not your MO."

"Emma," Shane whispered to her.

"What we choose to do is hardly any of your business," Linda said, sitting up straighter.

"Actually, it is," Emma said. "It is because Stephanie is one of my very good friends and because Chris is my cousin. Yes, you heard that correctly, I'm related to the man who is _so_ wrong for your daughter. And I just wanted to tell you both what horrible, disgusting excuses for human beings the two of you are. Instead of putting aside whatever feelings you have for my cousin and your daughter, which are so unfounded and misguided, and being there to congratulate your daughter on being happy, you have set out to make people nothing but miserable. First, you don't accept that your daughter is amazing, then you don't accept that her fiancé is equally as amazing. Then, when your son is actually happy, you insist on tearing him apart. Do you get off on it? Huh? Do the both of you get off on making everyone miserable? And I know your intent here tonight was to make me look like some silly country bumpkin so that your son would see the light and marry one of the Connecticut upper-crust that he was destined to be with. Well, sorry, folks, he got me and you're going to have to deal with it."

"Well, young lady, I can certainly see the relation between you and Chris."

"Oh really, because I thought the blonde hair really gave it away," Emma said. "You're threatened by your children's happiness. You want them under your thumb because both of you are control freaks. You can take your dinner and you can shove it up your asses like you shoved that wedding invitation in Stephanie's face. Shane, I'm sorry, but it had to be said, if you want to follow me, you can, if you don't, I can call Chris. Thanks for the drink…"

Emma stormed out of there, taking a deep breath. She took a step outside and waited, not knowing what would happen. She sat on the steps and just looked out into the garden in front of the massive house. Her leg jiggled a little bit as she waited and waited for what was starting to feel like hours. Logically, she knew it was only a few minutes, if that, but they were stretching far beyond anything that was comforting.

"You planned this, didn't you?"

Emma bit her lip and looked up at Shane, who was closing the door behind him. He sat down next to her and she shrugged. "I might have been."

"So you acted like you wanted to go to dinner at my parent's house so you could yell at them for what they did to my sister and Chris?"

"I know, it's pretty stupid, right, but I couldn't help it, I was hoping I could be subtle about it, you know, wear them down over the night, but then with the way your mom was looking at me and the way your dad was leering at me, I was like, why am I even attempting to look like I'm trying to impress these people. They are not coming to their daughter's wedding. I'm _so_ angry over it, Shane. I know that Chris and Stephanie are making the best out of it, but I can't help it. Chris was my hero growing up, my absolute hero. I wanted to be just like him and it makes me angry that someone could hate him because of that and then with Stephanie."

"I get it, I do," he said, grabbing her hands. "I get why you did it."

"I know they hate me, they did before I even entered their home, but I'm sorry, I hope I didn't ruin everything for you."

"You didn't," he kissed her cheek. "Stephanie and Chris have opened my eyes to a lot of things, especially the way my parents treat others. If you think I didn't notice my dad was mentally undressing you with his eyes, you're crazy, I did notice. I can't hate you because you defend the people you love. I…I love you, Emma and I love what you did in there."

"You do? I mean, you love and you loved what I did?" she clarified.

"Yeah, I loved it all. It's time for me to stop looking for their approval because it doesn't make me happy, _you_ make me happy," he said. "Come on, I'm Shane McMahon, I can get us somewhere fancy because I would hate to waste an evening when you look at beautiful as you do."

"Where did you _learn_ this stuff?" she giggled.

"Natural talent," he helped her up and over to the car, but she stopped him, kissing him hard and hungrily.

"I love you too, Shane."


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

* * *

Stephanie fell dramatically against the chair, her hand flush against her forehead. Shane rolled his eyes at his sister's dramatic reaction, but he shouldn't have expected anything less from her really. This was how she always was. There was a time, not too long ago, where he would have rolled his eyes in annoyance rather than amusement. His opinions had changed though and he was able to find the comedy in his sister's actions. After the incident with his parents, Emma had called up Chris and Stephanie and asked if they'd want to meet up for dinner and that's why they were enjoying a nice meal without the pressure of his parents.

"I can't believe you did that, Ems," Chris told her, "I think I need to get you a championship belt just for standing up to Vince and Linda. We can hijack the show and give it to you, I think that would sufficiently make them keel over like this one over here."

"I'm just flabbergasted, yes, I said _flabbergasted_, that you would do that, at my parent's house no less! I wish I had set up those spy cameras I thought of when I was five years old. I could have signed this up for a Pay-Per-View, I'm sure people would be willing to pay to hear my parents get chewed out."

"It wasn't my finest moment," Emma said, shaking her head. "I really thought I could at least keep my cool through the evening, but that proved to be a lie."

"Then your lies are my savior, my lady," Stephanie said, getting up and kneeling in front of Emma. "I am now in your eternal debt."

"Oh come off it," Emma laughed. "At some point, you would have done the same thing. It was just easier for me to do it because I'm not marrying into the family right now like you are, Chris."

"Yet," Stephanie winked at her brother, who blushed deeply. She laughed and pointed at Shane's face, making Chris and Emma turn to him, which only made him blush deeper. He loved Emma, that wasn't up for debate, but marriage was still not on the table. You may be able to take the snob out of Shane McMahon, but the traditional behavior might take a little bit longer. "And you! I can't believe you told them off too."

"I couldn't let them speak to her the way they did," Shane said, his voice quieter in his humbleness. "It just wasn't right, none of it was right. I can't believe it took me this long to see what they were really like. They only treated Emma like this for several minutes, they've been treating you like this, Stephanie, for years."

Stephanie shrugged, "I've come up with ways to deal with it, believe me."

"Don't sell yourself short either," Emma said, reaching out to rub Shane's leg. "You have no idea how brave you are for standing up to them like you did. It would've been easier just to stay under their thumb, but you didn't do that and I'm proud of you for it. It doesn't matter how long it took you to see things, but that you saw things at all."

"That's true," Chris added. "But really, don't you think it's better now? I mean, the wrestlers aren't deathly afraid of you anymore. I can't tell you how many guys were encased in stone after you looked at them before. I had to invest in a chisel just to get them out."

"I bought it for him for his birthday, don't think that he actually invested in anything," Stephanie said. "But I'm proud of you, Shane, you finally grew a pair. I guess you just needed your girlfriend to show you what balls of steel looked like."

"Eww, gross," Emma said, "I just wasn't going to tolerate it, that's all. I don't have a connection with them so whatever they think of me is inconsequential, I'm not dating them, I'm dating Shane. They were pissing me off, they _have_ been pissing me off with the way they've been treating you guys."

"I'm surprised they haven't called yet," Stephanie looked over at the phone. "I would have thought they would be on the phone, calling me, asking what I've done to their little boy and then defying the laws of physics by reaching through the phone to strangle me."

"They're not Beetlejuice," Chris added. "Although if they were Beetlejuice, they could probably be sent to that weird office limbo place and then the wait there is really long and then we wouldn't have to worry about them for a really long time."

"It would certainly lessen the complications," Stephanie reasoned.

"I just still hate they aren't coming to your wedding. How is that any way to treat their only daughter? It makes me so angry on your behalf," Emma shook her head, "I wish you two would get mad over it so I'm not the only crazy person around here."

"I don't…I wish they would come," Stephanie said, "but I can't change the way things are, it's a miracle I got my brother to change at all. I thought that was a lost cause!"

"Hey," Shane said, "don't talk about me as if I'm not right here. Plus, my robot hearing means I have about a mile radius with regards to hearing."

"Look at my man, all joking and getting an emotion chip," Emma said, leaning over and kissing her boyfriend. "He's adorable, don't you think?"

"Oh Shane, you _are_ so adorable," Chris said in a high-pitched voice, "why, you are just the most handsome, kindly gentleman I think I ever did meet!"

"Stop," Emma said, kissing Shane's cheek again. "He was very brave going up against his parents like that."

"You're a regular Lancelot," Chris told him, then chuckled at his own joke. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to picture you in full armor, shield, you know, a helmet falling into your face. Maybe a lance because you're…Lance-a-lot, cause you lance a lot, hey, do you think that's where the name came from?"

"Yes, because Merlin, Merl's in, get it," Stephanie said and she and Chris started laughing, making Emma and Shane look at each other like Chris and Stephanie were crazy, which they were, a little…or a lot rather.

"Or Arthur, because he's Art, hur," Chris added.

"Or Guinevere because her Guine is vere…y funny," Stephanie said to Chris and they started cracking up again.

"Do you ever want to just back away slowly from the two of them?" Shane asked Emma, who laughed a little bit.

"No, but sometimes I want to get a really big net and just put it over them so we can take them to the insane asylum, I think it's where they really belong, you know, the whole deal, straitjackets, padded cell."

"Maybe they have a honeymoon suite so they could share," Shane joked and Emma giggled and pressed her lips to his. She loved it when Shane joked around because it just made him more…human somehow. She loved that he was coming out his shell. He really was a very dear man, with a good heart and a kind soul. She was glad everyone else was getting the chance to see what she'd seen within five minutes of meeting him. She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, a loving squeeze at that. "I wonder, though, what my parents are doing right now."

Vince and Linda were sitting at the table eating a silent dinner that had been meant for four. They hadn't said a word to each other since Shane and Emma had left. Once Shane was out of the room, Linda had walked out as well, leaving Vince by himself. He hadn't seen her since they sat down to eat, but now they were sitting here and neither one was speaking. He didn't know what she was feeling, but he was feeling a little shell-shocked as he thought back to the earlier proceedings.

_Shane just watched as Emma stormed out of the room. His eyes were wide and he turned back to his parents, not saying anything. His mother had words in abundance though, "Shane Brandon McMahon, I cannot believe you would bring someone like that into our home. Have you no shame?"_

"_Excuse me?" Shane asked, his voice low and nearly dangerous._

"_You heard your mother," Vince said, his voice firm and strong. _

"_She was just saying what she thought," Shane said and his voice sounded slightly distant like he was thinking about something while having a conversation with them. His mind was completely elsewhere._

"_There's only one thing to do, you are going to break up with her immediately," Linda ordered him. "I can't believe you would date someone related to that…that scum your sister is daring to marry. You know she's only marrying him as some sort of scheme to get back at us."_

"_Why do you _always_ presume to know things?" Shane asked._

"_What? Your sister has been like this since she was a child. She's always trying to find the most outrageous way to defy us. What could be a better way to do that to marry a man so far beneath her, beneath us?" Linda told him._

"_I don't know how many times I have to tell you that she's not getting married as some act of rebellion towards the two of you," Shane said, "and you know what, you were extremely rude to my girlfriend."_

"We_ were extremely rude. That girl came into our house and told _us_ off. We invited her here-"_

"_To assess her and find out all the problems you had with her!" Shane stood up. "She wanted to prove that she could be good for me, but you were always intent on finding any fault that you could. That's what you always do! You always find the faults instead of looking for the good things! You have got to stop this!"_

"_Shane, she came in here and acted like a fool," Vince said._

"_No, she didn't, you did. Mom, you acted like she was nothing the moment she walked in here and Dad, you were undressing her with your eyes, which is disgusting and disrespectful towards her. I love her," Shane said, surprised he'd said that, but then, feeling a little at peace with it as well. "And I love Stephanie and Chris too! Just for the record."_

"_Oh God, what has happened to you?" Vince scoffed._

"_I got a brain," Shane said, "and until the two of you grow the hell up, stay the hell away from me, my girlfriend, my sister, and her fiancé, just stay the hell away from all of us. But let me warn you, if you keep up like this, you're going to die alone and lonely, with only each other to talk to. Think about that one."_

"What are we going to do, Vince?" Linda finally spoke.

"I don't know, the insubordination of our children is appalling," Vince said.

"I suppose we could go to Stephanie's wedding," Linda said, but it was said with such disgust that Vince needn't ask her if she thought that was actually a good idea.

"She wouldn't have us now."

"It's not like we'd want to, but it would at least look like we're putting in some kind of effort, don't you think? Our children are slipping away from us, Vince…that is if Stephanie was ever really ours to begin with."

"She never was," Vince gave a mirthless laugh. "That girl has never really been ours. Not since the day she was born. She was always off somewhere else, some other world. We never could reach her. She's always been so much her own person."

"Yes, we've tried so hard to rein her in because she was so embarrassing sometimes," Linda said, recalling times when Stephanie was a child when she would not stay behaved for anything. She was never the kind of child who would take bribes of candy or toys.

"We've done our best, Linda," Vince told her, looking up at her and in her eyes. "We've done the best we could."

"Have we, Vince, have we?"


	38. Chapter 38

A/N: Thanks for reading this crazy story, hope you continue liking the insanity of it all! :)

* * *

"I expect them to retaliate somehow."

"Should we go on the offensive? Should we come up with strategic plays, maybe put mines in the front yard in case they come over, we can build a bunker, maybe a moat," Chris said to Stephanie, taking on a fighting stance with his fists raised in the air. "I can box your father."

Stephanie laughed, "Snooks, I love you, but I don't want you fighting with the man who holds your job in the balance. He's probably waiting for you to commit the smallest infraction and then it's to the gallows with you! He'll make you wear a hood over your head as security leads you down the hallway and I don't know, they might make you stand in front of a firing line."

"Will I get one last cigarette?" Chris wondered. "And if I am on the gallows, I shall say, 'Let them eat cake!'"

"I don't think that's what she actually said before she got beheaded," Stephanie bit her lip, "although if they did bring out cake when you said that, it could make the executioners favor you and spare you."

"Perhaps I won't box your father then," he rubbed his chin. "Yes, yes, I think I will stay alive so that I can marry you."

"Do you think the theme is ridiculous enough? Or do we want to go even more out there with like a hippie wedding? Can't you see that happening? We would have to not shower for about a week, I assume you're down with that, we'll put flowers in our hair, maybe you could get some dreads and then we'll wear totally organic clothing and then for the reception we just eat our clothes."

"Or we could have an undersea wedding and you could dress up as a mermaid and I could get one of those old diver suits and then everyone has to catch their own fish for dinner and when we go on our honeymoon, we'll just jump in the ocean and everyone will be like, 'oh my God, they were mermaids all along!' but then we'll just go and climb on the yacht conveniently waiting for us."

"_Or_ we could have a space-themed wedding and we could hold it at the NASA center and we could both wear astronaut uniforms and then we can do all the simulations for the reception and then they can just shoot us off into space at the end!"

"Or we can go with the original theme," he posited. "I mean, it wasn't so bad, was it, Stephers? I kind of liked it. It's unique, but not unique enough to where everyone is going to not want to come."

"Do you think that the sign saying, 'Welcome to the Freak Show,' is too much? I thought that would be very cool, but I don't know, I don't want to alienate anyone on our wedding day…unless I want to alienate _everyone_!"

"As long as you don't come as the bearded lady, I think that we'll be fine," Chris told her.

"Then circus theme it is, I shall come as the contortionist!"

"I already knew you were a contortionist, Stephers," Chris said, his eyebrows raising and lowering rapidly in a decidedly dirty fashion. Stephanie bended backwards a little bit as if to show him. He wiggled a little in his seat while she laughed. "I'm going to be the strongman!"

"Cheap and easy!" Stephanie said.

"You should come as the pinhead or the guy with three arms, we could just get you an extra arm for the ceremony."

"I'll make my own arm, surely I can grow one between now and then if I think really hard about it," he said, scrunching his eyes shut as if an arm could just pop right out from his side. He opened them and looked down, "Damn, I didn't think hard enough!"

"Well, serious time, Mr. Jericho," Stephanie said, pushing her glasses up, "okay, really, serious discussion. I've got to book the tent, I will tell them I want it to be classy, but circus-like. I've already contacted Cirque de Soleil and the price point is going to be high, but _I'm_ only having one wedding and since we're paying for it, I don't care how much it costs, I want our guests to come and not find the whole affair stuffy."

"I don't think anyone that's coming is going to find anything we do stuffy, I think that's a given. I think they're expecting it to be exactly what it is, crazy and kind of gaudy in a tacky kind of way," Chris told her.

"Do you think it's strange that I want a normal wedding dress, I mean, as normal as one can get for me. I'm just thinking that maybe…I mean, I plan for this to be my only wedding, I don't know about you considering this will technically be your second even though you didn't show up for your first."

"Must you bring that up?"

"I'm just making sure that you remember it and do not repeat it. I'm planting little seedlings in your brain so that when our wedding day comes, it'll be a huge tree and then if you leave me at the altar, it'll crash right into your brain and knock you out and then I'll find you and I'll rip your heart out like you were a werewolf or something."

"Then you don't have to worry, Stephers, because I have no intention to let the tree fall on my brain," Chris said to her. "I think I would have a lot of people on my ass if I left you. It would be like the great race in _It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World_. Everyone would come hunting for me and they would do so by any means necessary."

"So what you're saying is that I'm more popular than the blonde bombshell?"

"Are you kidding me, you're _way_ more popular? You are so going to get voted Prom Queen and that means I get to be your Prom King and we'll dance and everyone will stare at us as we kiss and then they'll roll the credits."

"I think people cared that you left the blonde bombshell at the altar, Snooks, I mean, everyone was there, everyone could see how you humiliated her."

"Yeah, but look at them now, ready to come to our wedding and I have had people tell me they know it's going to be a blast and they will have the best time they've ever had anywhere. They're saying that it's going to be better than the best sex they've ever had. We have to deliver."

"Except we are, we're bringing the circus to town!" Stephanie said with excitement, her eyes shining. She was thrilled with their plans for the wedding. It wasn't going to be a normal, boring affair. It was going to be fun and extravagant, but in a way that was their own, not something like you'd see on some reality show about a celebrity getting married. There weren't going to be sappy vows or fake tears. This wedding was going to have laughs and thrills.

"I've got to start calling for prices on booths and things for the reception," Chris said, "we've got to decide what kind of booths we want to have and what we actually want to serve our guests."

"Corn dogs and nachos," Stephanie shrugged. "I want it to be a true carnival, none of this meat of fish crap. I want it to be carnival food, stuff you could get at a fair. I want ice cream cones, oh, maybe an ice cream open bar!"

Chris pretended to wipe a tear away from his eye, "If I didn't love you before…I would fall in love with you right now, Stephers."

"It could be just like an open bar, which we will also have, but for ice cream! Then our wedding cake must incorporate funnel cake somewhere in there. You have to dress as the ringmaster, that _just_ came into my head, my God, Snooks, you have _got _to dress like that!"

"I cannot wait to get married to you!" Chris said, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her into his lap. "I kind of just want to marry you so we can throw the biggest party Connecticut has ever seen. Plus, I really like funnel cake and top hats so this really all works for me."

"I thought it might, it's just too bad we don't have kids because they would _love_ this," Stephanie said, "I should go into the future and grab our kids and then take them back here and then they can have fun too."

"Awfully presumptuous to think that we're going to have kids."

"Please, Snooks, if anyone needs to procreate it's going to be us, who else could inflict this brand of wonderful on the world?" she asked, pressing her hand between the two of them. "We almost owe it to the world to spread on our genes. I wouldn't want to let the world down, everyone is counting on us."

"Do you think taking away our future kids would count as kidnapping?"

"No, because they'd be our kids," Stephanie said, "so why would it be kidnapping?"

"Because future Chris and Stephanie wouldn't know where their kids were."

"Au contraire mon coeur," Stephanie told him, "because future Chris and Stephanie would know in their minds that they brought our kids to our wedding because they would have the memory of the event so they'd be like, 'where are Little Tweedledee and Tweeldedum, oh wait, they're at our wedding, have fun, children!'"

"I hope those aren't the names you want for our children."

"I was contemplating it," Stephanie shrugged, then leaned forward and kissed him, "our wedding is going to be spectacular, isn't it?"

"I think it will," he smiled at her, leaning his forehead against hers, "but really, as long as you're there and at the end of the day I get to be married to you, I don't really care what we're doing. We could get married in the middle of a field of dead flowers with bees buzzing around, wasps even, with no clothes on and a stampede coming and nothing could dampen my mood about our wedding."

"Well there goes the plans for our 10 year wedding renewal," Stephanie shrugged. "I was already planning the field to be completely dead by then, I've been salting the earth so that nothing would grow!"

"You'll have to come up with new plans now," Chris told her, lightly kissing her again as the doorbell rang. "Are we expecting company?"

"I wasn't, I'm guessing you weren't, unless Sam is expecting some buddies over for poker. He saw that painting and he decided to have regular poker nights with the guys. I've been buying him tons of boxes of dog bones, I think he has a gambling problem."

"It would explain why I saw those two dogs chasing him the other day. I think they were trying to break his legs to get the message across."

"I'll have to pay his debts before he wakes up with a horse head lying next to him in bed. I don't particularly want to clean up the blood."

"Do you want us to answer the door together? Are we that kind of couple now? The kind that is just attached at the hip?"

"Is that what that weird piece of skin growing on my thigh is? Is my body just starting to graft to yours slowly and accommodate the need for extra skin?"

"I think so," he said as Stephanie stood up from her lap, setting down her wedding notes as they walked hand-in-hand to the door. Chris gave her one last kiss before she opened the door and she was glad he did because the people on the other side were the last two people she wanted to see.

"I had nothing to do with Shane and/or Emma," Stephanie said flatly, already thinking that was why they were here.

"This isn't about that," Linda said calmly, almost too calmly and Stephanie narrowed her eyes at them.

"I haven't even done anything so you can't be mad at me," Stephanie said, "I've done my work and I've done it well so you don't have to come berate me or anything. I'm great at what I do."

"That is also not why we are here."

"Then why are you even here?" Stephanie asked as Chris squeezed her hand. She and Chris had been having such a nice talk about their wedding and now her parents had to go and ruin a perfectly good day. She knew they were probably seething inside over Shane and blaming her for every little change within him, but it was Shane that wanted to change. He was the one who made his choices and while Stephanie encouraged him, she never forced him and if her parents were to honestly think she would do that to them…well, they didn't know her at all. Linda cleared her throat slightly, but it was Vince who spoke first.

"We want to come to your wedding."


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: Suggestions noted and taken into consideration, so thanks for making them, the only way for me to improve the story is in the form of feedback so I appreciate it, hope you enjoy! :)

* * *

"Well, that was…surreal."

Chris turned to look at Stephanie after saying that, but found that she wasn't anywhere behind him. He frowned a little bit before locking the front door and looking for her. It didn't take him long to see her out on the patio, standing with her back to the door. He could tell without even seeing her face that she was deep in concentration. Her foot was tapping lightly against the stone pavement and it looked like she was folding her arms in front of her. Chris stood there for a moment, watching her and contemplating whether or not he should go outside.

Her parents had just left after staying to talk for a few minutes, which was probably the first few minutes they ever seemed genuinely interested in anything Stephanie had to do that wasn't work-related. He'd stood there, feeling incredibly awkward as they walked into their house and he could almost feel their judgmental eyes swerving around the place. Chris couldn't even remember the last time Vince and Linda had ever even been in this house. It must have been sometime before he and Stephanie were together because he was sure they hadn't been there since they'd started dating.

"_The place is a mess, sorry," Stephanie said, running her fingers through her hair, trying to straighten it out. She'd been roughhousing with Chris earlier and her hair had become tousled and she hadn't bothered to comb it out because Chris didn't care what she looked like._

"_It's alright," Linda said, "we just personally wanted to come over to tell you that we have changed our minds and we would like to attend your wedding."_

"_If the invitation is still open," Vince told her._

"_The invitation was never closed," Stephanie said to them, looking between the both of them. "I wasn't going to bar you from my wedding. You were the ones who turned me down. Why the sudden change of heart?"_

"_We decided, mutually," Vince told her, "that we were being very unfair. If you want to get married, you're an adult and you can make your own decisions."_

"_But why now? Why the sudden change of heart now?" Stephanie asked. "I mean, for so long, you wouldn't even acknowledge that Chris _was_ my boyfriend and the last thing you wanted me to do was marry him. You've been disappointed in this relationship during the entire thing, why now?"_

"_We have behaved badly, we know this," Linda said, swallowing thickly. "We don't want to miss out on the things in your life because we were being too stubborn to really look. It's true, we haven't given Chris a fair chance, but we're willing to change that."_

"_Change what? The way you've treated me for the past, oh, I don't know…my entire _life_? You don't just change overnight," Stephanie told them. "I mean, I'd love for you to come to my wedding, but do you know how much it hurt me that you turned me down in the first place? I'm your daughter and you basically pushed that aside because I never fit into your agenda."_

"_Stephanie…" Vince looked at her and he didn't quite know what to say. He'd never really known what to say to Stephanie. He'd never connected with her. She was always a free spirit, flitting away from him. She was the most outgoing, rambunctious, adventurous, brave child he'd ever seen and he'd never known how he should be around her. So he'd tried to harness her in. For eighteen years he'd tried to pull her back into the box he and Linda had tried to construct for her._

_When they'd found out Linda was pregnant again and that it was a girl, they thought she would be prim and proper and everything a girl should be. So the hurricane that was Stephanie came as a shock to them. Ever since then, they'd just been trying to stay out of her way because she was not going to let anyone stand in her way._

"_You basically insulted me _and_ Chris when you didn't accept our invitation," Stephanie told them. "Now you want to change, but I'm not understanding why."_

_She didn't want to voice her opinions. She just wanted answers. "We realized that you are our daughter and to not come to your wedding would be…you're still our daughter and we love you and we want to be there for your special day."_

_Stephanie shrugged. "Okay, then I want you there so…you have the details, right?"_

"_I think so, yes," Linda said. _

"_Okay," Stephanie told them. "Is there anything else you needed?"_

"_No, that was all we came here to say," Linda said, "we'll get out of your hair now, but we look forward to coming to your wedding and perhaps before that, we can all have dinner, Chris included."_

"_That would be fine," Stephanie said as she ushered her parents out the door. _

Chris slid open the screen door and stepped out into the backyard. It was warm outside, but he still rubbed his arms as if he was cold. Stephanie seemed to hear him (he wasn't sure how she couldn't with the banging the screen made when he'd slid it shut), but she didn't turn around before speaking to him, "You know how you have the feeling like people are trying too hard?"

"Like when they they're trying to lift weights at are too heavy and their face gets all red and veiny?" Chris asked. Stephanie looked over her shoulder, no amusement on her face and he nodded his head in understanding. "Sorry, yeah, I know the feeling."

"That's what they're doing," Stephanie said. "I didn't want to say it to their faces because there's a lot of stuff I want to say to their faces, but if I say one thing, everything is going to come stumbling out right after it."

"You think they're trying too hard?" he took one step closer to her.

Stephanie nodded, still staring off into the backyard. "They're trying too hard and they're giving too much. I mean, the wedding, wanting the both of us over for dinner. It's like they're trying too hard."

"And?" Chris knew there was an and there, an and that Stephanie didn't want to say, but he could hear it on the tip of her tongue. It had to be one of those things where saying it made it real and she so desperately didn't want to make it real.

"Nothing," Stephanie said and this time, Chris took the few steps over to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her against him, swaying the both of them a little bit. For all their words, sometimes there were moments where the silence was so welcome, like a familiar blanket they could slip on. It was easy to talk to people, but to have an amicable silence was something very difficult.

"You know it's not nothing. You know you can tell me anything, everything, and all the little bits in between," he told her and she nodded a little before he felt her diaphragm suck in with breath and then release slowly.

"They're doing this because of Shane," Stephanie finally said as if the universe would crash on her right then. "I know that's what they're doing this. All you have to do is look at the timing of it. Shane tells them off, leaves their house, chooses Emma over my parents, and then and only then do my parents decide that they want to come to our wedding."

"You know, maybe Shane's words made something catch on with them," Chris tried to be encouraging, but knowing Stephanie's parents, what she was saying held a lot of validity. "We don't know exactly what he said, but he could have inferred that they were treating you poorly or something."

"And that only means that Shane was the one to get them to see the light," Stephanie stepped away from Chris so she could face him. "Only when the golden child tells them the truth do they see things for what they are. For so long, it's been Shane and them against me, them wanting more for Shane, them seeing him as the future of their family while I've been cast aside. So the one time, the _one_ time I ask them to do something for me, to come to my goddamn wedding, they only do so because of something Shane said."

"Stephers, we don't know that is what really happened? We'd have to sit down and talk to them about this."

"I don't want to," she shook her head. "I wish, just once, they would actually think about me without anyone having to interfere. If this had come at any other moment, I would have died of shock because it would have been so amazing that they finally saw me for who I am, not what they've always wanted me to be. Still, Shane is always the number one in their eyes. He tells them off and suddenly it's all change of heart because they don't want to lose _him_. They see that we're getting closer so they have to butt in because they love Shane and wouldn't want to lose him."

"They love you too," Chris said.

"I know, but…it's just not the same," she shook her head as she blinked back tears.

"Stephers," Chris took her in his arms. His girl didn't cry and he hated to see her in tears like this. There was a lot of hurt inside of her, a lot of hurt that she buried away because it was too hard to deal with. For her entire life, her parents have never been the parents she so desperately needed. His parents did the job they were supposed to, but that only carried so far, only healed some of the wounds she carried. Chris didn't know everything about her childhood, but sometimes he could see that lonely little girl who just wanted her parents to understand her.

"I'm okay," she mumbled, but she wasn't and they both knew it.

"Your parents are idiots," Chris said, "they're idiots because they never got the chance to know the incredibly warm, loving, sarcastic, crazy, beautiful, intelligent, funny person that everyone else on this earth knows. It's their loss, really, and everyone else's gain because you are amazing. Everyday I look at you and I think I'm the luckiest guy in the universe because not only do I get all those aforementioned qualities, but I get my best friend right next to me. I get to go through my life with my best friend right by my side and I know that I've done nothing to deserve things this good. Your parents are idiots for not seeing how they could've had the best thing in the world right there the entire time."

"I just want them to accept me for me. I'm not a debutante, I don't want to lunch, I don't want to join silly clubs that mean nothing, I don't want to wear hats that incorporate flowers into them. They've always seen me for what they want me to be and never for what I am."

"Now, I'm going to say something, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way, okay?" Chris pulled away from her so he could look into her eyes. They were red-rimmed from the tears that threatened to let loose, but she valiantly held them back.

"Okay…"

"Maybe we shouldn't look at what made your parents change, but the fact that they are willing to change," he told her gently, hoping that she wouldn't get mad at him for suggesting they forget that Shane was probably the catalyst for all of this.

"What?"

"I'm just saying that maybe, for now, we should put aside the Shane thing and focus on the fact that they want to change."

"Did you not hear anything I said?"

"No, I heard it all, Stephers, believe me, I did," he told her, pressing his hands to her shoulders and leaning down slightly so they could meet eye to eye. "I absolutely agree with you that it's not fair that they did this because of Shane, if that is the case, which it probably is knowing them. They shouldn't do that. They shouldn't treat you as less than you are and I hate that for you. I don't want you to cry over their problems, over whatever it is they don't see in you. You were never made for a world of balls and benefits. You were made to be you and I'm just saying…maybe we should see that for what it is. See this as an opportunity for them to see you and see how great you turned out."

"You think so?" she asked.

"Yes, I think so. Maybe…just maybe if we take this and run with it, they will finally, _finally_ see you as the Stephanie the rest of the world knows, the Stephers, the Steph-mania, the Steph-o-rama, the Steph-ford wife, I don't know who came up with that one, but it's been going around and they won't see Ms. Stephanie Marie McMahon of Greenwich, Connecticut," he pushed up the end of his nose to simulate snobbiness.

"You really think that could happen? I mean, these are my parents we're talking about."

"Yes, and if they don't, we can cut them off completely from our lives."

"I've just tried so hard, Snooks."

"I know, now it's time to make them work hard."


	40. Chapter 40

"How about we just start with dinner?"

"Dinner?" Stephanie asked, looking over at him over the book she was reading. She was trying to distract herself from the phone message her parents left on their machine, wondering if they were free any time soon. Stephanie had rolled her eyes before going to delete the message, but Chris's hand stopped her before she could. "You mean eating time with the troughs and the pigs?"

"Yes, that time," he said, "though I prefer a nice dog bowl like Sammy," Chris told her. "I'm just saying that a dinner, a nice one, not one where we ignite a massive food fight, will be a good jumping off point for this new relationship."

"I still don't trust them," Stephanie said, "I don't trust them as far as I can throw you, which isn't very far because you continuously come back, you're like a Frisbee that way."

"You can't keep me away from you," he told her with a wink, rubbing her thigh lightly, not to arouse her, but just to let her know he was there. "Besides, a dinner isn't something personal, it's not like I'm asking you to go scrapbooking with your mom, not that I think your mother would ever scrapbook, she doesn't seem like the type."

"I don't think devils keep pictures," Stephanie tapped her chin.

"Just acknowledge they're making the effort, I really think that would go a long way in this," Chris told her, rubbing his leg an little harder now. "If both sides aren't willing to try, this whole operation is going to fall apart."

"Whole operation? So we're just some scheme to you, is that it? Some kind of evil plan wherein you take us all down with you?"

"I'd have to get my leather jacket and grow a mustache for that," Chris told her. "Look, it doesn't have to be just us, we can mend the entire family together. It'll be like quilt-making."

"What do _you_ know about quilt-making?"

"Oh, it was when I was Amish, you know, in another lifetime. I learned to make quilts, very hard work that," Chris said, "but, and if you'll allow me to be quite metaphorical for a moment—"

Stephanie pretended to ponder for a moment, "The judge will allow it."

"Thank you," he nodded, "what I'm saying is that we're all like patches, but when stitched together, we're like, this whole thing, this complete thing."

Stephanie stared at him for a moment. She thought the comparison was a little on the lame side, but Chris was being astute. She knew her parents were trying to make an effort; they _had_ been the ones to call her after all. It was just old habits were so difficult to break. She'd spent her childhood being under their thumb, dragged to various events in dresses she hated, talking to people she hated. In high school, she'd gained a modicum of freedom, mostly from sheer force of will. Her parents still tried to control her, but Stephanie was crafty and she carved a niche for herself. When she was finally in college, the world opened up to her, and she truly became her own person. It was difficult for her to separate the now from the then, her prevailing thought being that her parents were trying to shove her back into that childhood box.

"That was lame," she told him, and he laughed heartily, leaning across the small space between them to capture her lips in a kiss, "but it worked, didn't it? I saw your thinking face on."

"I do not have a thinking face, Snooks," she shook her head, "you have no idea what you're talking about."

"You do, your face scrunches up, like it's made of clay and someone just smooshed your cheeks in together," he told her, demonstrating by placing his hands on his cheeks and pressing her cheeks together. "Ahh, there it is."

"Get your hands off of me," she pushed at him playfully, but he didn't move, holding her face in place. "What are you going to do? Squeeze and make sure my head is ripe?"

Chris gave her head a soft squeeze, "Nope, still not there yet, I can tell your maturity is still a little ways off."

"It has been since I was born," Stephanie held his wrists as they stared at each other for a moment, "I guess you pass the Stephanie test because I _was_ thinking. I'm just afraid that if I give them an inch, they're going to take not a mile, but I'm thinking the distance between here and the Andromeda galaxy."

"I wouldn't let them change you, Stephers," Chris told her sincerely. "I don't think _you_ would let them change you either. You're so perfect, you know that. If we were in ancient Greece, I would be constructing a marble bust of you right now…and I'd even include arms!"

"She _had_ arms, they fell off," Stephanie told him.

"Well, I would construct it in such a way that your arms would never fall off then centuries and eons from now, everyone would gaze upon your pristine beauty with awe and wonderment. They would revere you and worship the ground upon which you once tread."

"I'm not perfect," she told him, giggling at his speech.

"You are to me," he told her sincerely. "To me you are that perfect piece of pizza, not too hot so the cheese doesn't fall off, with just the right amount of toppings, where the crust isn't burnt, but not to thin either. And you take that first bite and it's perfection."

"So…I'm pizza?" Stephanie asked.

"You are my pizza," he told her with a grin.

"Then you are my ice cream sundae," she told him, returning his grin with one of her own, "The perfect ice cream, with just the right amount of hot chocolate, with caramel swirled in, no nuts because you're not crazy, homemade whipped cream, with a cherry sitting right on top."

"You know what I feel right now," he told her, his voice husky and low.

"What?" she wondered.

"I'm really, really…hungry," he told her with a laugh. "Pizza and ice cream sundaes for dinner?"

"Absolutely," she laughed.

"So, about that thing with your parents, I think dinner would be nice. We'd be in a public place so the propensity for outbursts would surely diminish," he pulled his hands away from her and ticked that point on one of his fingers, "we'd get a good meal out of it, and your parents would feel like you're willing to accept the effort as well, even if you're trepidatious about it. This could work out."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Okay, and I think I'm back to my original thought process," Chris pretended to type into the air, "yes, yes, we're back there, I was just going over the logs in my brain. Anyways, I was thinking, how about we invite Shane and Ems along? It would give us kind of a buffer while also trying to repair their relationship."

Stephanie frowned a little. If her brother was there, she was sure her parents would focus more on him. It was like they were a royal family and Shane was the heir while she was just the spare. If her parents were serious about getting to know her, Shane being there might ruin anything. She had a renewed (well, could it really be called renewed if it was never there to begin with?) relationship with her brother, and she didn't want to come to resent him if her parents made it clear it would always be Shane as the favorite.

"Okay, I'm guessing that's not a great idea," Chris bit his lip, trying to appease his fiancée. He didn't want to push her boundaries. It was enough that she was even willing to do anything with her parents. Chris simply wanted Vince and Linda to realize the spectacular daughter they'd brought into this world.

"It's not that I mind, I just worry," she pursed her lips, "what if they ignore me in favor of him?"

"They won't, I would make sure of it, I will put a mind spell on them so they find you the most fascinating creature on the planet. I think I still have some of my special herbs, might have to go out and buy some eye of newt though."

Her smile lit up her face, "I guess they can come then, I mean, they are on the outs as well, and it would give them the opportunity to really know Emma. I mean, she's so great, I'm not entirely sure why they didn't notice the first time. She's _exactly _the kind of girl my parents would want Shane with. She's smart, successful, beautiful, funny—"

"But she comes from the dreaded wrong side of the tracks," Chris wiggled his fingers like this was such a taboo subject. "If you call the upper middle class neighborhood she grew up in as the wrong side of the tracks. But I guess because her house wasn't called an estate like some people's were, it would be considered the wrong side of the tracks."

"Ugh, estate," Stephanie stuck her tongue out in distaste. "I'm sure they'd love her once they got to know her."

"If only I could share the same hope for myself," he shrugged, and it was then Stephanie realized she'd hardly been thinking about Chris at all, and for that she felt horrible.

For all her parents' change of heart, there didn't seem to be anything in them that genuinely wanted to get to know Chris. She'd been so stuck on her parents wanting to intrude on her life she hadn't taken a moment to think of what that might do to Chris. She knew there was no way he thought she would break up with him. That was absolutely out of the question, but he must feel like he would be an outsider looking in if her parents started to actually want to be around her. She took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"We're a package deal now," Stephanie told him, "Buy one, get one free kind of thing, Snooks. If my parents want to accept me back into the fold, if they want to get to know and love _me_, they'll have to do the same for you."

"Stephers, I wasn't implying—"

"Oh, you were implying a little," Stephanie nodded, "what I'm saying is that they _will_ accept you and they will love you, I hope with the last one, the first one is a criterion for being in my life. We're together now, forever, because you had some silly notion of marriage or whatever, but this, us, we're it. This is it. My parents will either take that or they will leave it. I don't care what they think of me in the end, but if they think of you, of us as something less than worthy, they're out of my life."

"Thanks," he told her, hoping she would know how much that meant to him. He didn't _need_ to be accepted by Vince and Linda, but the thought of them not hating his guts for marrying their daughter had some appeal to him.

"How about we invite Mom and Dad down from Winnipeg, and they can come too?" Stephanie told him. "We could always use the extra buffer, and your parents are our biggest champions. They've been trying to get us to be together for years so if anyone is going to be on our side, it's them. Plus, it has the added benefit of actually getting both our families together before our wedding. If we're it, which we are, this is going to become a common scene. Can't you just picture it now, Christmas morning, all of us gathered around a dining room table, arguing like a real family"

"Over something stupid of course, like who gets the last cinnamon roll, which would be me because while everyone was arguing, I'd snatch it and eat it."

"No, you wouldn't, because I would distract you for that one second, and then snatch it away myself and shove it into my mouth before you'd even know you'd be duped," Stephanie told him haughtily.

"It's a nice picture though, all of us together, no hostilities…"

"No hate…"

"No aggressive need for power."

"And nobody would be a robot," Stephanie added.

"Yes, no robots…until the overlords took over. So I guess it's a dinner then, huh?"

"I guess it's time to actually try to be a family."


	41. Chapter 41

"You look lovely, sweetheart."

Stephanie looked over her shoulder and saw Loretta standing there. "Oh hey, Mom, thanks, I'm trying to look nice so my parents won't have anything to say about my appearance. They're always going on and on about something. One time they thought my earrings were too ostentatious, I mean, sure, they were little dogs, but who can resist a dog?"

Loretta laughed, "I don't see how they can criticize you when you look like that. Besides, I thought they were going to try to be normal parents."

"I think my parents _do_ think they've been normal parents, but were saddled with an abnormal child," Stephanie admitted with a laugh. "I don't think my parents were every prepared for me. I must have been like Alien, bursting forth from my mother like this scary thing."

"Well, it's their loss that it took so long to make the effort with you," Loretta told her. "I don't know what their problem was."

"They turned off the emotion chips," Stephanie said, then sighed and turned around so she could face Chris's mother. "You know, they're only doing this because Shane told them off. He got so mad at them after the way they treated me and Chris, and the way he treated Emma as well. That's when the lightbulb went off. Is it bad that I wish it had gone off simply for me?"

Loretta walked further into the bathroom. It was a little small being the downstairs bathroom off the front hall, but there was enough room for them. Loretta closed the door behind her so she could have some privacy. "I don't think it's unnatural to feel that way, sweetheart, but they are making the effort."

"It's just…I know, Chris said about the same thing, told me I shouldn't let the spark stop the fire, so to speak," Stephanie rubbed her arms. "I guess it's like…I don't know, I don't even know anymore. Whenever I think about what my parents are doing, it's like I'm on a Tilt-o-Whirl, and I'm about to just get bucked off, like they didn't put the restraint bars on tight enough. You can never trust a carnie."

Loretta pulled Stephanie into her arms. "I have to agree with my son on this one, but I know where you're coming from. This is your family, your _parents_, two people who have never accepted you for who you are, so you want to feel like this might change."

"I don't want it to change, necessarily, I just want it to get better. I'm not even asking for a complete 180. I think it would be weird if my mom came over and wanted to bake cookies or something. I would start to think she was fattening me up so she could stick me in the oven!"

"I don't picture your mother as the type to bake."

"You're right, my mother and any type of cooking seems like a foreign thing. I think we'd find it easier to play basketball on Mars. I'm really glad you and Dad are here to come out with us. If this whole family thing works, you'll have to deal with the two of them as well."

"Oh joy," Loretta deadpanned and Stephanie laughed. She was so happy Chris's parents were able to fly in. It wasn't even that they gave her and Chris a buffer, but just that they were two people who constantly supported the two of them, together or apart. Linda and Vince could take lessons from the two of them on how to love their children with reckless abandon. Her parents' love was always so tightly controlled, as if letting too much through was something of a taboo when it was the norm.

"It's only one night, you can handle one night," Stephanie joked. "Plus, Shane and Emma are going to be there, watch, my brother is going to be the golden boy while I'm stuck out in the cold."

"Now, don't think like that," Loretta patted Stephanie's cheek. "We haven't even been out with them yet, so we don't yet know how they're going to be. They could surprise you and shower you with praise."

"Then I'd be forced to believe one or both of them was dying because that has _never_ happened."

"Your parents have never told you they were proud of you or anything like that?" Loretta frowned at the thought. Even when she hadn't been so sure about this wrestling thing for Chris, she'd always tell him how proud she was that he was doing something he loved, how proud of any and all accomplishments he accrued.

Stephanie was hesitant to say they'd never been proud of her. She didn't believe that was the truth. For any and all of her problems with them, she had to believe deep down they were proud of her. Sure, there were times they were decidedly not proud of her, and those times seemed glaring in comparison, but her parents were not completely heartless. Inside, they must have had some kind of cold, metallic device that served to beat their blood through their body, or oil if the case may be.

"I wouldn't say they've never been proud of me, I believe they have," Stephanie said, "they just aren't overt people. They don't go skipping down the street with banners or throw parades. It's more like a general look of approval."

"I should have a talk with these people."

"Mom," Stephanie whined. "I think them getting told off once is enough, don't you think?"

"Only if it got through their thick skulls."

"Hey, what's going on in here?" Chris stuck in his head in the bathroom. "Is this one of those weird female rituals where you come into the bathroom and like, sacrifice virgins or something?"

"I don't think there are any of those in here," Loretta said.

"Eww," Chris said, "dear God, you are so gross, Mom! I just came in here to tell you we were leaving, but now I don't think I can even go. I think I have to go bathe in bleach right now, Stephers, where do we keep the blowtorch, I think I need a new layer of skin because the creeps are crawling all over this one."

"Right next to my welding equipment, Snooks."

"Oh, next to the glass-blowing equipment, great," Chris closed the door. "Disgusting!"

"I knew that would get him out of here," Loretta wiggled her eyebrows. "Now, are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm going to be fine," Stephanie nodded. In the end, she would have Chris. He would always be her bright spot. If her parents ever were determined to bring her down, Chris would lift her right back up, like a helium balloon.

They decided to meet up at the restaurant. Stephanie, wanting everything to go well, insisted they arrive a little bit early, so they were the first ones there. It just felt easier to be the ones waiting instead of walking in with her parents already watching and scrutinizing her every move. She wasn't sure how tonight was going to go, wasn't sure how she _wanted_ it to go, but it wasn't going to be her fault if things went sour.

Her parents arrived next, their faces plastered with what could only be fake smiles. They were polite in their greetings, but detached, as usual. Stephanie knew this would take time, and they _were_ putting in the effort, she just wished it was more genuine on their parts. Looking at the menus had never been so excruciating. Shane and Emma brought up the rear and it didn't go unnoticed by anyone the way her mother's eyes landed on Emma. Stephanie _really_ wished she could have been there to see Emma go off like a firecracker.

"Sorry we're late, everyone," Shane chuckled, "but I could not for the life of me find my car keys."

"He had me on my hands and knees looking," Emma laughed, "see, that sentence could have had a whole other meaning if I just said he had me on my hands and knees, but I like to classy the place up a little bit."

Shane laughed, "They ended up having fallen behind a table, she actually spotted them—"

"Because I'm the best girlfriend, so don't be alarmed if you see bruises on my knees, Shane isn't hitting them," Emma joked as Shane kissed her temple. Stephanie was happy for her brother's happiness, and she looked over at her parents, who still remained relatively silent.

Ted, sensing this, tried to start up some conversation, "So…this wedding is going to be something, I hear. It's really great that you've decided to come. I think it's going to be really fun for everyone."

He figured bringing up the wedding would at least bridge that gap a little, and let Vince and Linda in on all the plans being set into motion. "Yes, we're very much looking forward to it," Linda said, sending Stephanie a small smile, which Stephanie returned with an even smaller smile.

"You know, Mom," Stephanie knew if this was going to work, she was going to have to make just as much effort as her parents were. "While Loretta was down here, we were going to look at wedding dresses. You're free to come with us if you want."

Stephanie and Chris, after much deliberation, had decided to keep the actual wedding portion of their day pretty much to standard form. Stephanie was going to wear a regular wedding dress, while Chris wore a regular tuxedo. There were going to be circus touches here and there, but they weren't going to overdo the actual ceremony. The reception, on the other hand, is where it was going to get crazy.

"We're also going to get my reception outfit done. I found this great designer who I'm going to tell my ideas to, and we're going to sketch it out, it might be fun if you want to come to that as well," Stephanie told her.

"Your reception dress?" Linda wondered.

"Oh, um, yes, Chris and I are going to be changing after the wedding. We're not going to stay in our wedding clothes."

"We decided to keep the ceremony pretty normal," Chris said, "though we'll have thematic elements to spice it up a little bit."

"Your invitations were quite unique," Vince interjected. "We figured there would be some kind of…theme…"

"There is," Stephanie said, "which is why we needed the reception clothes because us in our wedding clothes just wasn't going to cut it. We're actually doing a circus theme."

"Circus?" Linda asked with trepidation.

"Yeah," Stephanie's face couldn't help but light up when she thought about it. It was going to be spectacular, but classy at the same time, even though that word was overused. She didn't want it totally classy though, to be truly magical, there had to be just a touch of tacky in there. "We've rented this big top tent, it's huge, we got it on this amazing estate. Chris is going to be the ringmaster, and I'm going to be dressed like those girls who do the tightrope walking, you know, puffy ballerina-type skirt, little hat perched on my head, corset, small umbrella. I want it custom-made though, so I'm going to have someone design and make it. They're also going to make Chris's outfit."

"Circus themed, that is…something," Linda said, trying very hard.

"It's not going to be bad," Stephanie said defensively. "I mean, it's not going to be something that is horrible. We want our wedding to be fun."

She looked to Chris like she was a drowning woman. "It is going to be fun. We didn't want it to be stuffy or boring. Our friends are going to be there, our family is going to be there, and we want it to be a celebration. We don't feel like it can be that if we have a normal wedding."

"They're known for their parties," Emma interrupted. "Chris and Stephanie parties are the stuff of legends. Everyone is looking forward to this wedding, not just because we _all _thought these two would be married by now, but because we know it's going to be fun."

"Yeah, it is," Shane even got in on the act. "You guys are actually having Cirque du Soleil performing, right?"

"Uh huh," Stephanie said, "it's costing us a fortune, but it's going to be cool. It's nothing too fancy, just some stuff they usually do on the ground, with hoops and balls or something, but it'll be really cool. Then we're going to have little mini-booths with games and small prizes, and by small we still mean really cool. And there's going to be carnival food as the appetizers and as the dessert, but there will be a sit down dinner."

"That all sounds very…that sounds very nice," Linda said, but it sounded like she had to choke it out. Stephanie's face fell a little bit. Chris grabbed her hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.

"Believe us, Linda, it's going to be great. We want to make it a night we'll never forget and our guests will never forget. We hope you're okay with that, even if you aren't, it's our wedding. But we do hope you enjoy yourselves."

"I'm sure we will," Vince said unconvincingly.

This was going to take a lot of work.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: Thanks for the reviews and what not, hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

* * *

"I'm glad we got a moment to speak alone."

Stephanie gave her mother a strange look. This wasn't exactly an alone moment. Her mother had nearly tracked her down while she went to the bathroom. Now they were standing in the small hallway between the dining room and the bathroom. She eyed her mother warily, wanting nothing more than to get back to the relative safety of the table. The dinner had been going, she wouldn't say it was going well, but it was going.

"Did you need something, Mom?" Stephanie asked, hoping that her mother just needed some chapstick or a pixie stix, which she also had in her purse. There was no telling when you might need a little sugar.

"I just wanted to talk to you about your wedding," Linda told her, and Stephanie was afraid of this. She'd seen it in her parents' eyes when she and Chris were talking about it. She knew her parents would never completely be on board with what she wanted for her wedding, but it was _her_ wedding, and therefore, whatever she wanted should be what she had.

"What about it?" Stephanie asked, trying not to sound defensive even though she would defend her wedding to the death if she had to do so. She wasn't about to let her mother walk all over her about this.

"It just seems a little…non-traditional," Linda said, trying to put it nicely, but there was a tone to her voice that bordered on rude. Stephanie chose to ignore it because she wasn't about to fight her mother in a hallway near a bathroom.

"Yes, it is, that's what Chris and I are like," Stephanie tried to explain rationally. "Mom, you don't know how Chris and I because you've never taken the time to actually get to know us as a couple. I know and I understand you're trying, and believe me when I say I appreciate the effort—"

"You do?" Linda was surprised and Stephanie was surprised her mother didn't realize she did appreciate it. Stephanie might not have liked the catalyst, but after extensive talks with Chris, she _was_ appreciative that the effort was being made.

"I know how difficult it was for you to swallow your pride," Stephanie said, "and of course I appreciate that. I don't think you understand me, Mother, I don't think you ever really have. I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing, it's not. I don't _need_ you to understand me, I'm not twelve anymore. I wanted so desperately for you to understand me when I was younger."

"You've always been a freer spirit than I've ever seen anyone be before," Linda told her, and Stephanie actually detected a note of wistfulness in her mother's voice.

All that did was make Stephanie realize that as much as her parents didn't understand her, she would never understand her parents. Yes, they were stuffy and oh so prickly, but she'd never made the effort to try and get to know them. It was hard, though, when they tried so vehemently to fit her into their box, but there was no effort on either side. Her mother was trying, but Stephanie was seeing how hard it must have been for her mother to have someone like Stephanie in her life.

"I have," Stephanie agreed.

Linda sighed and tried to loosen herself up. She'd had some wine this evening, and Stephanie wondered if perhaps that helped her mother get these things out, "When you were little, you always wanted the world, but not our world, the world out there. We wanted you to be our little princess, someone we could brag about and take to outings and show off…"

"And I turned out so disappointing, right?" Stephanie was now getting defensive. The way her mother said things, it made it sound like she'd turned out as something rotten, to be hidden away and never claimed.

"No," Linda grabbed Stephanie's hand. "I've had a lot of time to think now that your brother…well, now that he's changed. I've had a lot of time to think about how I've seen you, how I've treated you, and how you have been, and I've been wrong about a lot of things with you, Stephanie."

This was taking a new turn, and Stephanie started to feel uncomfortable under her mother's scrutiny. It felt all out of place. Stephanie had never heard her parents praise her in any way, so to have this now, she didn't know what to do with it, but it didn't feel right in the slightest. "Mom, I really don't want to do this right now."

"I know I haven't been a good mother to you," Linda continued as if she didn't hear Stephanie, "but I am trying."

"I know you are," Stephanie cut in, and she knew her mother was trying her best to be okay with everything, even if deep down she wasn't really. "I know you are, and thank you. I know it's hard for you to sit by and listen to me talk about having a literal carnival for a wedding. I've not turned out how you thought."

"No, you haven't, you haven't turned out anything like I thought, but I'm learning that, that isn't a bad thing, not at all. I may not see the fun in a carnival wedding, but _you_ do. You see things I could never see and instead of cherishing that, I've fought so hard against it, so hard against you when I should have been embracing everything that you are."

"Do you really mean all of this?" Stephanie asked desperately. For so long, all she'd craved was her parent's affection. She knew they loved her in their own way, but to actually be accepted for the person she was, it was her deepest desire. Everyone else in her life knew her, loved her, thought so highly of her, but her parents were holdouts.

"Of course I do," Linda said, "I saw the way you interacted with Chris's mother, how comfortable you are with her, how you can talk and laugh with her. I saw her looking at you like you were already her daughter, and I heard you call her Mom, and it made me see how much of a fool I've been. I would have loved to have that rapport with you."

"Mom, did someone give you an emotion chip?" Stephanie asked.

Linda narrowed her eyes, "I don't understand what you mean."

Stephanie shook her head, "It doesn't matter. Thank you for saying these things, I really needed to hear them."

"It's going to take me some time to really understand you," Linda said, "and it may never come, but I'm trying, and I would love to be a part of your wedding, in however capacity. Your father and I are willing to pay for whatever you need—"

"Mom, I do appreciate the offer, but Chris and I want to take care of the wedding ourselves. That's not a rejection of your money, but it's something we would rather do, even though I know it wouldn't be a burden on you."

"Okay," Linda nodded, knowing when not to pick a fight.

Chris walked down the hallway and saw Stephanie and Linda standing there, "Hey, you guys hadn't come back yet, and I just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

Stephanie looked at her fiancé and the concern so secretly etched on his face. She knew that he assumed the worst and a week ago, she was sure the worst would have been the only possibility, but now, now she wasn't even sure she knew the woman standing across from her. As much as Linda needed to get to know Stephanie, Stephanie needed to get her own mother. It wasn't fair of her to expect her mother to do all the changing around here. Stephanie had room to learn more about what made her mother tick.

"Yeah, Snooks, we're okay," Stephanie addressed him with a slight smile, the corners of her mouth turning up just slightly.

"Good," Chris nodded, his eyes searching Stephanie's face, but he found no signs of trouble.

"Actually, I would like to talk to you as well, Chris," Linda said.

"Right here?" Chris wondered, staring at their location.

"I'm a firm believer in taking care of things when they should be taken care of," Linda answered, and Chris, for a moment, wanted to challenge her on that. He wanted to bring up how she had never taken care of Stephanie even when Stephanie needed it so much. Still, this was neither the time nor the place for that. This dinner was meant to be a turning point for them all, and if he couldn't embrace that then he wouldn't be here.

"I see," Chris came closer and as soon as he was at Stephanie's side, she immediately took his hand, giving it a little squeeze.

"I wanted to apologize to you both. I know this is long overdue and it needs to be said if we are going to try to be a family here," Linda said, looking between the both of them. "I'm sorry that we initially did not want to come to your wedding. It was not something I'm proud of, and your father feels the same way. You're our daughter, and we need to be there for you. We do love you, Stephanie, and we don't want to push you away anymore."

"Wow, thank you, Mom," Stephanie said, "I'm glad you said that."

"And Chris," Linda took a deep breath, "you make my daughter happy. "I may not understand your love or the way you act around each other, but I know you are just the type of person she should be with, not any of the people I wanted for her. They never would have understood her like you so clearly do. I'm sorry I ever made you feel like you were inferior to my daughter."

Chris's eyes widened. That was the last thing he was expecting, but it was something he needed to hear as well. "I only ever wanted Stephanie to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted since the day she spilled hot chocolate on me."

"And you do," Linda said, gazing at her daughter. "I hope that we can continue to get to know each other, all of us."

With that, Linda walked back to the table, leaving a stunned Chris and Stephanie in her wake. Chris turned to Stephanie and asked her in disbelief, "Okay, so the pod people have clearly come to Earth, and your mother was the first target, right?"

"I need a pair of those glasses that Roddy Piper had in that movie that lets you see the alien's true form," Stephanie said, looking back to where the tables stood, Linda already sitting down and talking with her brother. "I don't know _what_ that was, but yeah, I think my mother has been abducted."

"What the hell did she say to you when I wasn't here?" Chris asked. "Did she ask to suck your brains out or did she want something weird, like to soak in tomato juice?"

"No, but I noticed a distinct stench of old onions," Stephanie answered. "She told me…I don't even know, I'm so stunned by it. She said that she never really tried with me, she actually owned up to something for once, and she pretty much said I was never a problem."

"Wow," Chris said, "did someone roofie her food with happy serum?"

"Perhaps future us came back in time and bribed the waiter to slip it into her food," Stephanie narrowed her eyes. "I thought I saw myself leaving when we walked inside. It would make sense. She said she would go along with the wedding. My mother wants to attend my wedding, which is going to be a carnival. By transference, my mother wants to go to a carnival."

"I'm trying to picture your father holding cotton candy…"

"Think of my mother eating a funnel cake!"

Chris laughed, "They want you to be happy."

"They do, and it's strange, and it's weird, and it's…completely wonderful," Stephanie turned to Chris. "They still don't understand me, and they never will, but they're trying, Chris, they really want to try, even when they don't get me _at all_."

"It's amazing, I'm so happy for you," he hugged her. "You deserve this, you deserve all the love in the world."

"I have to be better too, I have to get to know them," Stephanie said as she hugged him back. "I have to give as much as take, I know that now. It's the least I can do."

"Look at you, being all grown up and everything, does this mean that I'm going to have to cancel that playground I was going to give you as a wedding present?" Chris asked.

"Hell no," Stephanie told him, "I want a swing-set, and I deserve one!"

"Fine, fine, you'll get your swing-set," Chris kissed her, "your mother of all people apologized, I don't think I'm going to get over it."

"I don't think I will either."


	43. Chapter 43

"Okay, how do I look?"

"Like you belong in one of those old 50's catalogues, all you need is a really ornate hat," Chris said, looking up from his notebook. "I think I'm going to write a song about it. I need a name though, 'My Fiance Looks like She Time-Traveled,' do you think that's too long?"

"How do you know I didn't get our time machine to work and actually did go back into the 50's? I could have gone back in time, and I didn't invite you because I knew you would be rude," Stephanie said, smoothing out the skirt of the dress she was wearing.

Today was her first step in getting to know her mother better. Her mother made sacrifices for her, and she was following through on her own promise to try and understand her parents better. It started today, a simple lunch with her mother. Well, it wasn't going to necessarily be simple. Simple would be picking up some fast food and eating it in the car. Simple was probably not going to the country club she'd been banned from as a child because she'd knocked over a table with food on it. The ban wasn't lifted until she was 13.

"You wouldn't not invite me because that would be more than rude," Chris told her, "I would cry if you did that, do you really want me to cry because I'll probably never stop, and then it'll be a river, and there will be a river through the house, and it will divide us."

"I'll ford the river using the skills I learned on the Oregon Trail..."

"If you're going to a country club, shouldn't you be wearing a sweater set or something, something like you used to wear when you were in character with Drew? I figure that would probably work, did you actually _own_ those clothes?"

"They're shoved into the back of the closet in the guest bedroom because I didn't want to look at them because they made me so painfully aware of life I was trying to escape," Stephanie told him. "Do you think I should wear some of those?"

"I think you should wear what you want to wear, within reason of course, I'm not suggesting you walk in there with a bikini and nothing else, although they do have a pool, right? All country clubs have pools, don't they? You know, the kind where you sit in one of those floaty chairs and sip a cocktail with a big, floppy hat on? When you come back, is that the woman you're going to be?"

"There are three pools," Stephanie said, "and no, that's not the woman I'm going to be, I'm going to be a woman on the verge of death by boredom. I just want to look nice, remember, I'm trying here."

"You have plenty of really cute clothes you can wear, Stephers," Chris told her, "you have a closet filled to the brim with clothes. I get that you want to get to know your mom, and to really be in her world, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your world for it."

"Wow, Snooks, look at you all waxing poetic, did you go to an oracle this morning or something, did you have a turtle shell read?"

"No, fortune cookie, of course," he scoffed at her. "And I'm going to play the lotto numbers on the back and everything."

"If you win, I'm going to get half of that because you are marrying me and we're not going to have a pre-nup, which means if we ever get divorced, I'll get all of your money," Stephanie giggled as she tapped her fingers together in an evil gesture."

"You make more than me so if anyone is getting alimony checks, it's going to be this guy," Chris pointed to himself. "And then I'll retire and live in the lap of luxury for the rest of my life, and it's going to be _sweet_, and then I'll routinely send you pictures of me with other women, just to rub it in that you lost out on all this."

"All what?" she asked as he gestured to his body. "That? That's what I'm fighting for here, Snooks, really? Because if we're being honest, I think I've got more bang for your buck with my body."

"Get over here," Chris told her, opening his arms. She laughed and came over, sitting on his lap. "Stephers, be yourself today, you can get to know your mom better just by being yourself and not trying to be something you're not. You tried that, remember? I think you told me it resorted in you moving out pretty much the day after you graduated."

"I spent the summer with a friend of mine, I crashed in her guest room until I went off to Boston for college," Stephanie said, "I think there may have been a streamer gun when I left the house, and I know there were fireworks, there may have been a clown on a little bicycle riding around the driveway."

"See, this is the Stephanie she needs to get to know, and if you go in under false pretenses now, who knows what may happen? She may think that this is the new you, and she'll make you dump me, and you'll get with a guy from the country club, and he'll be wearing short tennis shorts, Stephers, you're going to marry a guy in short tennis shorts, the kind that ride up!"

"Oh, Snooks, no, I'm going to be marrying a guy who is dressed as a ring-master at our reception," she leaned down to kiss him, "while I'm going to be dressed as, well, a sexier version of that."

"I really want to see what it is you're going to wear."

"You will, when we get married," she told him, running her fingers through his hair as she thought about their wedding. The plans were going as smoothly as could be. They'd booked the space for the actual wedding and reception. The wedding itself was going to take place outdoors, and it was going to be simple and elegant while the party was going to be raucous and unique. It was two halves to a whole and she couldn't wait.

"And not sooner? It's not like it's going to be your wedding dress, which I also have no idea the look of," he pouted. "I wish I could know if I'm going to have to bring a defibrillator to the ceremony…or maybe an oxygen tank when you steal my breath away."

Stephanie smiled down at him, "Ahh, I love the smell of cheese in the mid-morning." Stephanie looked at her watch and groaned, "I have to find something to wear, I've got to go soon if I don't want to be late, and I don't want to be late, if anything, I want to be early, and then sit there, and then when my mom comes in, I'll be like, 'I've been expecting you.' That might freak her out."

"And we're going for no freak-outs, not just yet," he kissed her cheek and let her off his lap. "Remember, be yourself."

She eventually settled on an outfit, and it was conservative, but still her. She liked bold colors sometimes, and she was wearing bold colors, a deep blue skirt and a complimentary orange tank top. She walked into the restaurant area of the club, getting a few looks from people who knew her, but she ignored them, like she did the entire time she was growing up. She didn't spot her mother anywhere, and she was surprised that she was the first one there. She walked up to the hostess and got seated.

She fiddled with her water before she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. She looked over and scoffed. Of all the dumb luck. "Stephanie McMahon," a high-pitched, overly snotty voice said.

"Felicity Carter," Stephanie turned in her seat.

"Aren't you banned from here?"

"No, I just have a life that doesn't revolve around me sitting around on my ass," Stephanie told her. "I see you haven't changed since high school."

"I see you haven't either," Felicity said, looking over Stephanie's outfit and just everything else about her, "but then, nobody expected you to ever change, maybe get a little bit weirder, even though you were already weird."

"I prefer the term eccentric, and it was certainly better than being a Stepford wife before you had a husband, speaking of that, I'm sure you got your college degree in landing a rich husband, yes?"

"I didn't do badly," Felicity held up her hand to show off the rock sitting on it.

"I figured as much," Stephanie said, "so now you get to really sit around on your ass and order other people around?"

Felicity scoffed, "You don't know my life."

"You don't know mine and yet you continue to judge," Stephanie told her, "so who's the one in the wrong here. I didn't even go seek you out."

"Why are you even here? I figured you would be off at the zoo or something."

"The zoo, that's the best you could come up with, the zoo? I'm supposed to be insulted by you telling me I should be at a place surrounded by beautiful animals? Wow, you've really lost your touch," Stephanie shook her head, "I'm here to have lunch with my mom, if you must know, which you didn't have to, but now that you do, how about getting out of my face."

Felicity noticed the ring on Stephanie's finger, "You're engaged?"

Stephanie glanced down at the ring on her finger, as if she too just noticed it. Her rock was not as big as Felicity's nor did she want it to be, but it was still a really good size, enough that said her fiancée spent a buttload of cash on her. "Oh you did learn something in college, good for you!"

"Who would marry you?"

"Plenty of people, but I chose just one, can you believe that?"

"I can't believe anyone would want to marry you."

"And yet, there is someone willing to marry me so your point is kind of moot," Stephanie shrugged. "Now run along now before your head explodes from not bossing someone around."

Stephanie turned away again as Felicity huffed off. That felt good. Felicity tormented her all through high school, and though Stephanie stood up for herself then too, it felt good to know she still had it, and that Felicity was still a petty, little girl. Some things never changed, and some people never changed, and it was kind of uplifting for her to know that while she became an adult, Felicity really had nothing.

"Stephanie?"

"Oh hey, Mom, you're late, I didn't expect tardiness from you of all people, did someone switch your clocks so they ran slow? Or did all your batteries go out at the same time in some weird paranormal event?" Stephanie asked, not even able to censor herself for five seconds.

"No," Linda laughed, _laughed_, which made Stephanie sit back in her chair and really wonder if alien overlords had used her mother as a conduit for their nefarious plans to sabotage her life. "There was a bit of traffic on the way over then I got caught up talking to Melinda Lansing, you remember her, right?"

"Oh yeah, she was actually nice," Stephanie said, "I ran into Felicity Carter."

"That girl that used to torment you?"

"Yes, the one that you said I should try and be friends with instead," Stephanie said, but closed her eyes a second later, "I'm sorry, that sounded really catty of me, she was just her usual horrible self, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, I shouldn't have made you be friends with her. I'll tell you though, she's not as glamorous as she makes herself out to be. Her husband is starting to reach financial dire straits, and she's trying to put on a brave face, but she's reeling."

Stephanie smirked, "I shouldn't like that, but…"

"I know," Linda said, "sometimes it's okay to revel."

"Mom, that's so mean of you!" Stephanie laughed as Linda sat back and gave her a little smirk. Stephanie was finding her mother's company refreshing. "I never knew you had that in you when it wasn't directed at me."

"Well, there's a lot you don't know, but how about we start trying to understand each other now." Linda raised her glass of water. Stephanie picked hers up and clinked it with her mother's.

"Yes, let's."


	44. Chapter 44

A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy, reviews are very nice! :)

* * *

"My mom and I had a good time!"

Chris looked up from the video game he was playing, raising an eyebrow in surprise. He paused his game before giving her the once over, squeezing one eye shut and scrutinizing her like she was some different person. "I'm not sure whether to believe this is you or a really good facsimile. Your parents probably have a Stephanie robot they've been waiting to release unto the world."

"No, I'm still me, do you want to check?" Stephanie flirtily ruffled her skirt. "I think you could check my insides."

"Wow, that is tempting, but I feel like I would want to stuff something in there," he told her, wiggling his eyebrows as she laughed and came over to sit on her lap. "Either your mother let you eat dessert first or you're really happy."

"It was actually fun, well, okay, no, it wasn't fun. Fun is bringing a funnel cake onto a Ferris wheel and eating it while watching the sunset, _that's_ fun, but for my mom and I, it was fun. That's to say on a scale of fun, one being stuck at the DMV and 10 being having sex with you on a trampoline, I'd go with a two, which for my mom is like 100."

"Why was it so fun? Also, note to self, buy a trampoline," Chris asked.

"Because she didn't judge me. For the first time in such a long time, I didn't feel like I was being judged. I just felt like I was going out with someone, and having a nice conversation, and that was that."

"I'm glad you got the chance for that."

"I even told her that I'm really good at my job, something I think she doubted before because she had the uncanny knack of coming in whenever I was trying to beat my own spinning chair record. Little did she know it was because I was always finishing my work early. But I told her that I do all my work, and I do it well, and she listened."

"And you've never felt like she listened before," Chris finished for her. He'd heard her tell him that a million times, even when they were just friends. Sometimes, Stephanie just needed to rant, and Chris was always the person she went to because she never needed a filter with Chris. Anything could come out of her mouth, and he wouldn't judge her, not even a little.

"Not ever. I always felt like my parents' ears somehow disappeared whenever I was around. I was just as good as Shane, sometimes better, but they never saw that because they never listened. I think Emma is the best thing to happen to any of us."

"Oh, thanks," Chris gave a heaving sigh and jut out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout.

"You're good too, but she changed my brother for the better, and in changing my brother for the better, it made my parents examine how they've been towards him, towards me. I always felt like I was just the spare, the one they had because oops, I just decided to show up. Today was the first day my mother ever made me feel wanted."

"I'm so happy you're starting to have that."

"I don't think we'll ever be as close as me and your mom," Stephanie told him, "I don't think I'll ever connect with my mom like I do yours, but that doesn't mean I can't have something good with her, and it's scary to think that. Everything is coming together for us, and I'm just happy."

"I want you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted for you, well, not after the initial burns from your hot chocolate, in that moment, I wished you were a guy so I could shove you, but then before I could even get a word out, you were patting me down with about 50 napkins."

"You were wet!"

"Are you wet?"

"Shut up," she said, leaning her head against his shoulder. "You know, when I was around nine years old—"

"Way to kill the mood here."

"There was no mood, nobody had on any mood rings in order to know what our moods were. Am I green right? Or am I blue? I have no clue what I am!" Stephanie wiggled her fingers. "All I have is this diamond ring that doesn't tell me anything!"

"It tells you that your boyfriend spent a ton of money on you so that he could become your fiancé so he could become your husband."

"Oh, is that what this means?" Stephanie pretended to study the ring. "I wasn't entirely sure. With the size of it, I thought that maybe it was used to communicate with space aliens since it looks a little like the cube Evie had to talk to her dad on Out of this World."

"I should have gotten a design like that for your ring, how cool would that be? Oh man, and if you could open it and store stuff in it…"

"Like what, a grain of rice, it's a ring!" Stephanie told him.

"A single lock of my hair, isn't that why they did in the olden days."

"The girl gave the guy a lock of _her_ hair when he went away, so I would have to give you a lock of my hair, and you could creepily have it set into your wedding ring, and people would be like, 'What's that in your ring?' and you'd be like, 'Oh, that's just my wife's hair,' and they'd be like, 'Wow, you are devoted to her.'"

"It would also serve as a female deterrent."

"Yes, see, thinking caps," she tapped his temple. "A girl is going to see you with a lock of my hair and they will step away because they'd know that you are betrothed to someone. I think I'm going to look into this. I'll have to make sure it's just a lock of hair though, not my entire head of hair, I get confused sometimes."

"If it was all your hair, I'd knit into a scarf and let it keep me warm on cold days."

"But then my head would be cold on those days."

"I'd cut off my hair and fashion a hat for you," he told her.

"Or just a wig, I've always wanted to be blonde…"

"So when you were nine," he brought the conversation back around after the tangent they found themselves on.

"Oh yes, nine years old, my parents thought I wanted a pony for my birthday even though I kept telling them and kept telling them that all I wanted was a journal. Nothing fancy, not gold-plated, not with handmade pages, just one of the ones you could buy anywhere. I wanted one so badly, but they kept saying, pony, pony, pony, and we'll get her riding lessons, and I kept saying that wasn't what I wanted, but they didn't listen to me. I had the pony for like five months before my riding skills made my parents realize they made a mistake."

"Wow, I never knew you had a pony, that's so cliché of you. Thank goodness you didn't take your pony off-trail and have it get spooked and you get into an accident and forget everyone you know, but then your spirit shows up and you merge into one before remembering. You might not have remembered, and they could have molded you into the Stephanie they wanted you to be."

"But then I wouldn't have my memory back to see DJ go to prom with Steve," Stephanie shrugged.

"Tragic, I know, does that me Uncle Jesse because I have the really cool hair?"

"No, that'd be weird,' Stephanie shook her head. "I'm just glad I'm getting to a place where the thought of spending time with my mother doesn't want to make me bang my head through a wall, get stuck, have to stick butter all over my scalp, then pull my head back out and have a breakout of acne because of all the oil."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want you if you had acne," Chris studied her face, "I'd call you Crater Face, it'd end ugly."

"Oh, so that's the stipulation, that's the deal-breaker? Acne? Well, hate to break it to you, Snooks, but it's gonna happen."

"This wedding…is off!" he threw his hand in the air to make the declaration before she pulled his hand down and kissed him. He pulled away, threw his hand back up in the air, and declared, "This wedding…is on!"

"Thought so…I also ran into this bitch who made my life hell through school," Stephanie said, "she couldn't believe I somehow coerced a man into marrying me. She was shocked when she saw the ring."

"How _did_ you coerce me into marrying you?"

"I was the only option left after you scared all the other girls in the world away with your disappearing wedding trick. I'm just the sucker that stayed behind."

"Oh, that's right, that's right, so this girl, she didn't give you no trouble, did she, Stephers? Do I have to pull out the six-shooter and defend you honor?"

"Nope, I took care of her, just like I did in high school, and even better was the fact that my mom said she and her husband are unhappily married, and in dire straits, not that I ever wish ill will on anyone because I don't, but…it's a little satisfying."

"The best revenge is living well."

"Yeah, well that person never stuck someone's head in a toilet and giving them a swirlie," Stephanie shrugged, "but I guess living well is a nice second place. The thing about it is that…well, I know that I'm marrying someone I love."

"Yeah?" he smirked, which turned into a smile.

"Yeah, like, I'm not marrying you because you have money or power or can give me anything I want, you can, and you have money, and you sort of have power, kind of, but not really, I mean, I can do all those things for myself, and I have money and power, but what I'm saying is that despite everything you _can_ give me, I wouldn't have married you just because of that. I love you, you're the only one I want to marry."

"That's nice to hear."

"I love you, Snooks, I know I don't say it _all_ the time, but I do, and seeing unhappy people just reminds me of how happy I am. And I've never been happier. I'm so ready to get married to you, and I really can't wait for it."

"Neither can I, our wedding is going to be crazy and fun, and everyone is coming, so that's even better."

"It is, I'm so happy about that, I wanted my parents to come, even if they're uncomfortable, I just wanted them there, I only plan on doing it once, unlike some people around here who plan a whole wedding then skip out the day of said wedding…"

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you, Stephers?" Chris asked of her. "We're going to be sky diving when we're 80 years old, and you're going to be like, 'Remember when you skipped out on your first wedding?' I won't hear you, of course, because of the wind, but I'll know what you mean, and I'll just shake my head because I'll have been putting up with it for years."

"Then we'll do a tandem bungee jump so you _can_ hear me," Stephanie shrugged. "I'm just happy that we're all happy, and this wedding is going through, and we're going to be so happy that people will think we're made of happy, and they'll try to juice us or something."

"I don't like the sound of that, sounds weird…and messy."

"Well, it's never going to happen, we're never going to get juiced…not the steroid juiced either, I don't think I'd look good all 'roided up," Stephanie made a face. "We're just going to get married and be happy, right?"

"Right."

"And everyone is happy for us, right?"

"Right."

"Then the wedding…is on!"


End file.
